Excuse drinking

[bkyogagurl]

Good morning

I feel I use excuses to drink. Does anyone else do this?

I got some bad news that my uncle died and the first thing I want to do and did was climb in the bottle. I feel like climbing back in today.
I have been doing fairly well but when it comes to a moment where I have to feel my real feelings and not just the day to day stuff I drink.
Maybe this is another step that I need to look at and evaluate to get past it.

Just wonder thoughts?

[hart]

Excuse drinking

You are not alone. My husband is drinking daily, not working and has temper tantrums. I have to fight off daily the voices telling me how much easier it all would be to handle if I I had the buffer of alcohol. And Joe, at first bought beer we both liked, on purpose. But you know. All those problems would still be there, your uncles death, my husband not working, etc, whether we drink or not.

And I don't know about you but I handle things much better without the headache I have and the guilt I feel the next day, plus my problems are still there damn it, whether I drink or not.

Hang in there hon. Alcohol is viscious and sneaky it wants you, don't let him talk you into his web of lies. He won't make things easier, just adds guilt and shame to the mix of things to cope with.

[Sunbeam]

Excuse drinking

They are all bad excuses. You do have a right to feel better in bad times, but this will not come in a container of alcohol. Read a book, go to a park, see a movie. The are all better ways to escape.

[bkyogagurl]

Excuse drinking

Thank you Hart & Sunbeam-

I am feeling low & I appreciate you answering :upset:

I beat myself up for drinking. I beat myself up for being sensitive. I beat myself up cause I just want crawl in bed and stay there all day.

I know there is no comfort in the bottle... I just have such a hard time reaching out to people who do care about me and letting them soothe me. I feel safer here and trust people here. You are all truly strangers but I feel so much comfort here.
Thank you. :l

[YouKayBee]

Excuse drinking

I do this with food too, I try and distract myself, sit and faff on internet, do some housework, watch a film. Once or twice I've sat and tried to work out exactly what the feelings are and written them down. I think it sort of works!

[bkyogagurl]

Excuse drinking

Thanks UK-

That is an excellent idea. I will sit down with my journal and see what I come up with. I just PM'ed you. Funny you answered here.

[K9Lover]

Excuse drinking

I drank for the following reasons:

I was happy
I was sad
I was lonely
I was surrounded by friends
I was excited
I was depressed
I was celebrating
I was mourning
The day ended in a "Y"

They all seemed like good reasons at the time...but none of them were a real excuse...they were just what happens in real life. And we can experience all of it so much better sober.

[YouKayBee]

Excuse drinking

bkyogagurl;1600421 wrote: Thanks UK-

That is an excellent idea. I will sit down with my journal and see what I come up with. I just PM'ed you. Funny you answered here.

I think it takes a long time to break the link between drinking and emotions, I know I still have it.

I've replied specifically relating to TSM/Naltrexone but this also applies too. It's amazing how if I've had a bad day, something's happened my mind will turn either to booze or chocolate. The first is completely off the cards for me, second well I can allow that but it's not good because like alcohol one bar is never enough..........so I have to sit down and do something else. I also use food (in the past getting pissed) as a way of punishing myself. So easy to turn other stuff in on yourself. Always feels good the next morning when you've not succumbed!

I've been struggling wanting the choccy tonight, even fantasized thinking about going out and getting pissed but I know it will make me feel cr@p and it's far easier not to do it.

[YouKayBee]

Excuse drinking

Ha ha, just spotted something in my post

alcohol or chocolate = one bar is never enough

[byebyebridgetjones]

Excuse drinking

K9Lover;1600440 wrote: I drank for the following reasons:

I was happy
I was sad
I was lonely
I was surrounded by friends
I was excited
I was depressed
I was celebrating
I was mourning
The day ended in a "Y"

They all seemed like good reasons at the time...but none of them were a real excuse...they were just what happens in real life. And we can experience all of it so much better sober.

:H:H:H
Exactly.

[DriftyAlison0]

Excuse drinking

Back when I drank, I came up with excuses to drink, got paid, lets drink, brother was being an ********* lets drink. There are still times when my al mind tries to find excuses for me to drink, but i don't respond to them anymore.

[spuddleduck]

Excuse drinking

i think the emotional/reactive drink.is the hardest nut to.crack. i imagine most of us... even back in the pre alcoholic drinking days used al as a crutch of sorts. for me my first recollection of the effect of al was that it.gave.me confidence. the confidence to chat to people, the confidence to dance,.just.that bit more.that helped me.fit.in (or so.i.thought). i mean this is so common. how often do we hear for example.. 'oh i need a couple of drinks before i get up on the kareoke .. make the best man speech... etc etc) then it goes on to 'yeah i got.the job, yeah I've won the.raffle' then there's the' oh no my marriage is over, oh no my baking burnt'... its everywhere. every celebration or death seems to be washed down with alcohol. most of our lives we.have seen it again and again. its hardly surprising it is.such.a.tough.habit to break. what i personally am trying to.do is at least.stop.the.emotional.drinking (not doing very.well but.at least i.am aware). i.have also done.the.writing it all.down thing and find.it very.helpful. i.just.write.and.write without really.thinking too much... pages and pages of.the.stuff. it.usually.ends.up.in very.circular thoughts. i also.have pretend meetings with.a.therapist. i write the.question... such as.'why are you here today' then write the.answer from me. and go.through.the.whole he said/she said thing. it may sound a bit bonkers but it.does.actually bring up some answers as.i am able to.look.at.it more objectively.as.i.am.questioning myself.from 'another person'. yep.admiting to.this makes me feel a.bit.daft.... haven't turned.to.talking.to myself quite yet.

[YouKayBee]

Excuse drinking

spuddleduck;1601157 wrote: i think the emotional/reactive drink.is the hardest nut to.crack. i imagine most of us... even back in the pre alcoholic drinking days used al as a crutch of sorts. for me my first recollection of the effect of al was that it.gave.me confidence. the confidence to chat to people, the confidence to dance,.just.that bit more.that helped me.fit.in (or so.i.thought). i mean this is so common. how often do we hear for example.. 'oh i need a couple of drinks before i get up on the kareoke .. make the best man speech... etc etc) then it goes on to 'yeah i got.the job, yeah I've won the.raffle' then there's the' oh no my marriage is over, oh no my baking burnt'... its everywhere. every celebration or death seems to be washed down with alcohol. most of our lives we.have seen it again and again. its hardly surprising it is.such.a.tough.habit to break. what i personally am trying to.do is at least.stop.the.emotional.drinking (not doing very.well but.at least i.am aware). i.have also done.the.writing it all.down thing and find.it very.helpful. i.just.write.and.write without really.thinking too much... pages and pages of.the.stuff. it.usually.ends.up.in very.circular thoughts. i also.have pretend meetings with.a.therapist. i write the.question... such as.'why are you here today' then write the.answer from me. and go.through.the.whole he said/she said thing. it may sound a bit bonkers but it.does.actually bring up some answers as.i am able to.look.at.it more objectively.as.i.am.questioning myself.from 'another person'. yep.admiting to.this makes me feel a.bit.daft.... haven't turned.to.talking.to myself quite yet.

I try to remember one of the messages from Alan Carr in his book, alcohol doesn't give confidence, it removes fear. Fear is there to protect us, stop us from doing daft things. It can also be overcome and kept where it's needed.

This thought helps me a lot.

[spuddleduck]

Excuse drinking

ukb, that is so true. i remember in my glorious 3 month af my confidence shot up.

[spuddleduck]

Excuse drinking

ha ha, just had a thought while out walking my dog. i sometimes walk my dog with a little bottle of 'confidence' in my pocket. often on these days i find myself chatting to other dog walkers and have often thought how much more friendly and nice i must be on these occasions. ha bloody ha.... i suspect i may have been talking AT them....NOT GOOD, NOT BIG, NOT CLEVER AND CERTAINLY NOT CONFIDENT. JUST BLOODY PISSHEAD STUPID REPEATATIVE BORING DRUNK. today i made an effort just to smile and say a little hello to the dogs.