Get Me Out -Get Me Going

[spiritwolf333]

At the suggestion of Pavati, I am creating this thread in hopes of learning more about how people get themselves motivated to "get out" and "go".

In other words, there are many times that I will come up with a hundred excuses not to go to a social function or any other type gathering. Too often, I find myself rationalizing and justifying my staying in my comfort zone at the home or office. I end up having too many conversations with my self and end up not going anywhere.

I often hear other people, including myself, say that they were sure glad that they went to this or that function and had a great time and that alcohol was not a part of their experience.

For myself, it seems that I have to have an agreement with me, pre-getting out: I have to establish the fact that I will hold no negotiations with myself. I must make a commitment and then follow through. Again, no self-negotiations.

But not all getting out ideas are just about social functions. That is, what do you do to get out and go? Me, I sometimes force myself to go mountain hiking, or walking, or even asking a friend to lunch (spur of the moment of course).

I am quite certain that there are many of us here that would love to read some ideas. I am absolutely positive that those new to sobriety would really appreciate reading some drinking activity alternatives.

[hart]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

Well I have a convertible so I love driving in the sun myself. Do you like to ride a bike? Not for me but some like it. I have dogs so I like to walk them too. Can you borrow somebody's. They would appreciate it and it's fun. I also love to read so there is always that for me, what about going to see a movie, in a theatre you can't drink alcohol. Go to a gym or to swimming? Ask a friend to go window shopping, I love doo dad shops, even though I don't buy a lot I collect betty boop stuff and it's fun to look, or maybe shop for everyone's birthday card and you're ready....

[NoSugar]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

Hi, Spirit

When I'm reluctant to do something that I think I should or would be good for me or whatever (social event, fitness class, etc.), I sometimes give myself permission to leave after a set amount of time. A couple of times I've taken myself up on the offer but usually I end up enjoying myself more than expected and stay.

NS

[treetops]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

Spirit I think the key is not to have too high expectations. Actually lots of social events that people say are good for us are not that great anyway - regardless of the AL factor. I do some socialising out of duty but I have got to a stage in my life where I don't feel guilty about not socialising a great deal.
Then I will do something and really enjoy it but that's once in a while. The important thing for me is some contact with human beings and this might be through fairly mundane activities. I enjoy people but I am not one for forced social events. I spent too many years using alcohol to get through those. Now I want to make sure I spend time with the people that matter and I like or find interesting.

[Lavande]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

I'm at a point in life where I don't have many social obligations & that's just fine with me
I would much rather spend my time doing what I want to do, what makes me happy.
For me that's spending quality time with my kids & grandkids, walking though Longwood Gardens on a fairly regular basis, learning new gardening skills, tending to my hen flock & making people happy providing them with fresh eggs. Spending time with kids & doing something special for them & with them is the best

[summer312]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

you can do it

Hi spiritwolf
Beleive me your not the only one who has that problem. But for me getting up and going is all about the outcome. I havent went out to a party or event and not come home saying how glad iam i went. I always try to figure out how iam going to react when i see the alcohol there. So what i really focus on mayb is the food or what type of cake. I hate playing the what if game. So i TRY to make myself do what iam scared of doing

[Sunbeam]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

PARKS! I love them, try to go to a different one every week. So many near-by communities and urban areas have such nice little parks. I go with my dog, or my husband, or a friend. I also enjoy being home working in my gardens, getting more done than in the days when there was always a glass of wine waiting for me on the patio. I go to fewer social events, and don't stay long when I do go.

[little beagle]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

I went to the beach this past weekend, staying in the little beach community. Sure people were partying, but we had a wonderful af time and my dogs are wonderful ice breakers. They introduced themselves and me to several people.

[paulywogg]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

Excellent thread,my problem is that i cut hair and after seeing so many faces and being chatty all day,all i really want to do is come home and watch t.v,totally not healthy,sometimes i go for walks to sort out my thoughts,but it takes a huge spatula to get my ass off that couch,i need mojo

[spiritwolf333]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

hart;1670711 wrote: Well I have a convertible so I love driving in the sun myself. Do you like to ride a bike? Not for me but some like it. I have dogs so I like to walk them too. Can you borrow somebody's. They would appreciate it and it's fun. I also love to read so there is always that for me, what about going to see a movie, in a theatre you can't drink alcohol. Go to a gym or to swimming? Ask a friend to go window shopping, I love doo dad shops, even though I don't buy a lot I collect betty boop stuff and it's fun to look, or maybe shop for everyone's birthday card and you're ready....
Hi Hart | Great post -and thanks for the ideas. At some point on this thread, I am going to try to compile a list. Thanks

NoSugar;1670713 wrote: Hi, Spirit

When I'm reluctant to do something that I think I should or would be good for me or whatever (social event, fitness class, etc.), I sometimes give myself permission to leave after a set amount of time. A couple of times I've taken myself up on the offer but usually I end up enjoying myself more than expected and stay.
NS

Thanks NS -I absolutely relate to your post. It is strange how I can end up staying at a function until the very end -especially when I had planned to just make an appearance.


treetops;1670864 wrote: Spirit I think the key is not to have too high expectations. Actually lots of social events that people say are good for us are not that great anyway - regardless of the AL factor. I do some socialising out of duty but I have got to a stage in my life where I don't feel guilty about not socialising a great deal.
Then I will do something and really enjoy it but that's once in a while. The important thing for me is some contact with human beings and this might be through fairly mundane activities. I enjoy people but I am not one for forced social events. I spent too many years using alcohol to get through those. Now I want to make sure I spend time with the people that matter and I like or find interesting.

HI Tree -Thanks for this wisdom -sincerely. Yes, I too have had almost the same type experience that you describe. I still need to work on the "not feeling guilty" part. Some extended family functions can be quite grueling -so most times I try to attend or I will feel some remorse. Sounds like you have found some real balance? Thanks for the post.

[spiritwolf333]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

Lavande;1670873 wrote: I'm at a point in life where I don't have many social obligations & that's just fine with me
I would much rather spend my time doing what I want to do, what makes me happy.
For me that's spending quality time with my kids & grandkids, walking though Longwood Gardens on a fairly regular basis, learning new gardening skills, tending to my hen flock & making people happy providing them with fresh eggs. Spending time with kids & doing something special for them & with them is the best
Hi Lav -You have made an excellent point and your post caused me to stop and consider a few things. From what I hear you say, many of social interactions involve helping or working/playing with others. I think that it would be helpful to me to start thinking and acting more for others.

summer312;1672033 wrote: Hi spiritwolf
Beleive me your not the only one who has that problem. But for me getting up and going is all about the outcome. I havent went out to a party or event and not come home saying how glad iam i went. I always try to figure out how iam going to react when i see the alcohol there. So what i really focus on mayb is the food or what type of cake. I hate playing the what if game. So i TRY to make myself do what iam scared of doing
Good idea Summer -Focus on the OUTCOME. And maybe even focus on the positive things that may occur during the function.

Sunbeam;1672179 wrote: PARKS! I love them, try to go to a different one every week. So many near-by communities and urban areas have such nice little parks. I go with my dog, or my husband, or a friend. I also enjoy being home working in my gardens, getting more done than in the days when there was always a glass of wine waiting for me on the patio. I go to fewer social events, and don't stay long when I do go.

Thanks Sun. Parks. I have never really thought about this idea. As I think about this idea, I can imagine that you can interact with others for short periods of time -if one chooses to do so, and at the same time, you can get some exercise and change of scenery. little beagle;1673050 wrote: I went to the beach this past weekend, staying in the little beach community. Sure people were partying, but we had a wonderful af time and my dogs are wonderful ice breakers. They introduced themselves and me to several people.

Nice LB -Wish I lived near a beach. Did Little Beagle make his way to the beach?
Flash won't get near any water -lol.

paulywogg;1673169 wrote: Excellent thread, my problem is that i cut hair and after seeing so many faces and being chatty all day, all i really want to do is come home and watch t.v,totally not healthy,sometimes i go for walks to sort out my thoughts,but it takes a huge spatula to get my ass off that couch,i need mojo

Hi Pauly -Sounds like you get plenty of social interaction. And standing all day -ouch.
I bet you receive plenty of unsolicited information all though the day? (lol)

[spiritwolf333]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

One thing that I have found when attending social functions is that many times I learn something new. Even those functions that are mainly just small talk (yikes!), I usually can learn something. I tend to listen much more than I speak, so it works out fairly well.

I really do love the fact that most of this life is a mystery to me. In fact, if it were not a mystery, I would probably find my visit here quite boring (and then would really want to drink-lol). Interacting with others seems to always help me expand my perspectives -especially when I allow my self to have an open mind.

Thank you all for your posts.

[Pavati]

Get Me Out -Get Me Going

Hi, Spirit--

Funny you started this thread and I just found it!

I have found that if I commit to something small I usually can convince myself to go and often end up having a great time. For instance, if it is a party, I drive myself and leave early if I want. If I know I need exercise and have trouble getting off the couch, I tell myself a walk around the block will be good, and I often end up going much further. That and saying no when it is something I really don't want to do. I save the convincing for things I know in my heart will be fun or good for me.

Pav