One Step at a Time - December 2014

[paulywogg]

Oh hell,i drank tonite,i tried,dear god i tried not to,Brady's friend hung himself on saturday,he was supposed to come over here that nite,said he was on hiis way,he never showed,Brady text him again and again,no answer,then last nite he was talking on f.b to his freinds other freind,found out he did it,i called the coroner's office tonite,yeah he's gone,i wish i coulda done/said something to this kid,dead at 18,i feel lost,and i found out my cousins kid died tthe same day from brain cancer,im just exhausted

[paulywogg]

And no,drinking dont help,but its a good eraser atm

[Dottie Belle]

Oh pauly I am so sorry....too much to take in I am sure....((( pauly )))

[sunshinedaisies]

OH Gosh Pauly - I am SO sorry for what is going on - and no, drinking doesn't help but I so understand that want to right now - it enables us to escape for a while ....I really feel for your son - the folk who kill themselves do not realise what they leave behind - although when you are at that place, I am sure that it doesn't even occur to you. Hugs to you Pauly ((((HUGS)))) - hang in there - so much for you and your kids to deal with right now .....

Hugs, Sun XXX

[sunshinedaisies]

Lizanne - are you full time or part time ? I am not sure that they can MAKE you work your co-workers hours - did they say why the tech cannot carry on covering as he/she has been doing? And how come your boss has not mentioned anything to you - I think you should have a talk with your boss and tell him your concerns - they cannot fire you for asking! But I agree with Dottie - they think they can simply 'cos they can pretty much!

MB - I took Melatonin for years and then forgot it when I went to UK - left it at one place I was staying so had to sleep without it for a couple of nights - it is RX only over there - anyway - I slept really well - in fact better than I had been sleeping with it ! So now, I am not taking anything - instead of taking stuff, could you try and find other ways to sleep? If you sleep is that bad, can you try a sleep clinic maybe and find out what is going on? I have always said that if ever I want to go to sleep, I lie down and try meditating - I KNOW I will be asleep within 5 mins if I lie down and try it ..... sounds too simple, but worth trying. My daughter also sleeps badly - it ends up being a vicious cycle as one worries about getting sleep - which stops one sleeping !

K9 - I am amazed that you can drink on AB - gosh, if I even LOOK at AL when I have taken it, I get a reaction. That is actually rather scary for you I would imagine! In fact that reminds me - I need to go and take it - last night I was thinking drinking thoughts for today - so will go and take it now while my resolve is still high!

Got to get ready for work - later everyone,

hugs, Sun XX

[mama bear]

huuby and I watched Rudolph all alone...the boys thought it was "gay".....Bret knew every word to every song...what a dork
Pauly - I am speechless...I don't even know what to say.....I am SO sorry
Lizz - I am assuming you will get overtime......????
at work alone....gotta run

[paulywogg]

Mama,all my kids think those old Christmas shows are gay and cheap looking too,we grew up on them so it's nostalgic for us,i feel sad and crappy(of course)i hate drinking! but at the time it was ok,i just need to be able to deal with stuff like a normal human being! i did have 31 days but shit blew that awaynow i gotta figure out how to get through work,lovely,hope everyone has a good day

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
I am still tired and just dont want to do anything...but we are going to the gym then I am meeting a friend to shop for the funeral on Friday. I need some rest before I go face down......I need to say NO more....

[K9Lover]

Oh Pauly :sad: I am so sorry and upset for you and your friends. I was worried about you yesterday because we hadn't heard from you. As for the drinking, don't beat yourself up over it! It doesn't erase the 31 days you had. And you know it doesn't help anything, but I do understand needing the "immediate" relief and consequences be damned. But then of course we wake up the next day and the problems are still there...anyways, I love you and wish I could give you a huge hug! Stick close to us today ok?

Sunni - It is crazy that I can drink on AB...you wouldn't think you could build up a tolerance to it. But I have drank the same day as taking it and...nothing. So now I will have to use some inner strength that I haven't found yet, but I'm sure is there somewhere!

Kradle - Hope you're enjoying time with Matt! How are the twins liking having their big brother home?

Mama - I listen to meditation or relaxation CD's at night, and they knock me right out, it's kind of just soothing to listen to even if I'm not really paying attention. Why are you alone at work today? Where is 'Tuckers? LOL So your boys didn't appreciate your night of nostalgia huh? Go figure. LOL My teen nephews think everything is "gay". Speaking of my nephews, my oldest is graduating the Fire Academy this Friday! I have probably mentioned it but I'm proud of the lil' guy. He's the one that used to live with me. Thursday night I will be picking up Sierra for the weekend so she can go to the ceremony and spend the weekend with the fam (and her friends, of course).

Liz - Sometimes being the "reliable" one can have it's drawbacks, like they EXPECT you to go out of your way without complaining. But I don't think it's fair of them to just dump someone else's workload on you! Like Mama said, I would hope you will be compensated for it! $$

Dots - Hows the gym going? I am still "thinking" about it. LOL

Well nothing exciting going on at the Water Treatment Plant today, no Firemen coming and going like yesterday. Last night the custodian came in before I left (a woman) and she knows the guys here and she told me that they all think I'm "hot"...I was like Yeah Right...in the way you say about a fat woman "but her face is so pretty"...LOL I have been wearing scarves everyday to camoflauge the belly. On that note, maybe I should do more than "think" about the gym. HA

Ok, back later. Lots of love to you Pauly, hang in there dear friend!!

[mama bear]

give yourself some credit K9 and go get one of the firemen....they have good benefits!! HAH!
My eldest is in fire science school right now. He is going for the four year degree so he can be management.
My chickies at work are at a training class I sent them to. Now that I am a ...ahem.....Board Member.....they will be attending a lot of stuff.
Dottie - I am concerned that you are so tired.....that's not like you...
It's blissfully quiet with no one here. I am piddlefutzing with paperwork and listening to Christmas piano music.....very peaceful. The "kids" will be back soon and ruin it for me :-)
Meditation ideas are a thought...
I have to watch the Season Finale of SOA tonight.......I hope Jax doesn't die....DON"T TELL ME...but I think K9 and I are the only ones warped enough here to watch it :-)
I put Criminal Minds on my list and I just finished "Grey Mountain" by John Grisham....meh....
I hope you aren't too miserable Pauy. And I feel so bad for that young man's family.....

[Dottie Belle]

mama I think it is stress...too many deaths and this time of year gets to me anyway....weird dreams too. Not eating my good for me food either...diet has been way off too....so I am just not doing self care.....and am tired but we did go to the gym and I feel a little better.....

[K9Lover]

Mama - Do NOT tell me anything that happens in Season 7 of SOA....I haven't seen any of those episodes yet!!!

[mama bear]

I won't say a word about SOA, Niner
Dots - as moms and wives and daughters we always put ourselves last......I am glad when you have some down time -- xo

[paulywogg]

For realz Mama! goodness,i feel like i'm always pushing myself,hubs,kids,Louie,work,even when i was sick with that sinus infection,who's up at 5 a.m taking a walk?duh me,in the rain no less,just wanted to feel normal,made it through work,yayi don't think Brady's friend had much of a caring famuly,i think that's why he latchedon to ours so quickly,man i just need to get over it! bleh,ok K9 its time for a selfie so i can see your hair grown out,if those dudes think your hot then im sure you're looking goodDots,slow down for a bit,at least for a day,

[paulywogg]

Sun,you are right,its those left behind that are really feeling the punishment,i agree on melatonin too,however it gets me to sleep hella fast! just not for very longi put my fitbit into sleep mode,i can't believe the "restless"times,grr