One Step at a Time - March 2015

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
I am alone now and have been for the last 2 weeks. My friends call or text me to check on me. But in the end I am alone here with the dogs. I see the counselor tomorrow and new grief group next week. So I am hopeful that I will be able to pull myself out of this funk. I need to box up his clothes and things that I see every day. Just put them in the storage room in the basement so I dont have to look at them every day. I have rearranged a few things to my liking but mostly everything else is as he left it expecting to come home that day and carry on with our lives. If only....
Gym later...

[mama bear]

home from lunch out....I posted some cute pictures on fb
Rusty.....so good to see you sister......we can do St Augustine any time you like
tomorrow I am running Nana to the doctor and the lab and the grocery..so I might do the beach Friday...if it isn't raining....
Gosh Dots- it's only been two weeks.....

[mama bear]

just chilling with soup and Netflix....no drinking tonight

[Dottie Belle]

Where is everyone???? Am I bringing everyone down and they dont want to read my sad story???? I hope that is not the case. If it is I will go somewhere else to vent.....I dont want you all to be sad and not want to read things...It is hard when I dont have any family to talk to. Called an old friend today who lost her husband 7 years ago. She is my age and was trying to help me make sense of it all. It does not now nor will it ever make any sense to me....
Gym was good. I am going to walk a 5K with the group in late April. This is something hubbs would not have done so maybe it will open some doors for me to do other things..I dont know.....just cant sit here and cry all the time
OK finished....

[mama bear]

Oh Lord, Dots...you are not chasing us away. we are here and want to support you so vent away. I just wish there was something we could do to help. A 5K sounds awesome!

[NoraC]

Oh my goodness - I just logged on quick before bed. I am exhausted and am going to lay down at 6:30!!!

Dottie - I have not been around because of work. You are in my thoughts constantly and I will be back SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had a Major finding today which basically means that we have to fix the issue with the paperwork and the auditor will have to come back. (Luckily, it was the owner of the company that wasn't doing things up to the specification) We still have another 2 days with this audit though. I'm so sorry that I haven't been keeping up.

I will try to read back but I'm exhausted!

I think of you all even though I haven't been posting. :hug::heartbeat::biglove:

[Dottie Belle]

I dont want everyone tippy toeing around me....just post as usual....I need to come here and read about normal things so I dont just sit here and look around at the emptiness....you all keep me going and awake most of the time....

[Rusty]

Dottie-you are NOT bringing us down and you are not scaring people away with your sadness. It's just a really unlucky coincidence that at the same time you are grieving your husband's death, a bunch of us have some really time-consuming mountains to climb: K'9 is moving and has to tend to Sierra, Sunny has her mother. Nora has her audit going on, and I have been traveling non-stop. If anything, because is your strength in not drinking AT your grief, you have brought is some unexpected visitors to our thread who want to support and yet are inspired by your tremendous courage
you showed people that even through tragedy, Sobriety is possible. You are the glue that keeps our thread together! We all wish we could support you in some tangible way,
Asopposed to just praying for you and giving you cyber hugs.

Sun- to answer you question..The travel has gotten old but I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's.
Off to bed..I will be back tomorrow! :-)

[mama bear]

Morning love bugs
have to tend to Nana today
Dottie - I will be around more when I am at desk all day....if allowed
I have not played with Mr Rabbit in a while......how's that for immature and offensive!! :sohappy:

[sunshinedaisies]

Dottie - you are not scaring me off .... I just feel that to post about my stuff that is going on seems to pale in comparison to your life right now - I hate that you are so sad and hate that there is nothing I can do about it - I have no words to help you and nothing that I can actively do to help - it makes me feel so impotent !! But Whatever is going on, I rarely post more than once a day - sometimes if I am around I might but I go to bed really early so am not here in the evenings - although last night I had the worst nights sleep - the longest I slept was from 2.20 to 4.30 and that was 'cos I took a Melatonin at 1.30! I am sure that you are not sleeping well either ... and I agree with Jan - a 5K sounds like an amazing thing to do - my daughter has talked me into doing one with her in June sometime - my knees do not let me run so I will be walking it but that is fine as I am a very fast walker.

The realtor came and took pics of my house with it's blah kitchen and also took pics of the outside without snow so that is good ....

I visited with my MIL yesterday and she is going to be having surgery on her spine in a few weeks .....

My mum is doing fairly well - still sounding very frail but getting stronger daily. My sister is going over to see her in a week so that is good and the cleaning lady that we sorted for her is just wonderful with her.

I am going into work this morning (gosh Liz, I really will PM you - Ha ha ha) and it feels good to do so! I miss when I do not work !! With having to keep the house in show condition, it is hard to set do and 'do' anything !!

Okay - that is all for now - have a great day everyone, hugs, Sun XX

[sunshinedaisies]

cross post MB ..... (((hugs))))

[bird]

Hi all
Dottie, Rusty is right. It seems we all have some major things going on, when it rains it pours. The 5 k sounds good. I would like to try one....Sun glad your Mom is a bit better...MB are you getting excited about the new job?...Nora it will be nice to get that audit done huh?....I am having such a time with Pouncer. The vet said nothing can be done. Last night she peed the bed a small bit. She also smelled bad when I got home from work, had to bathe her. Now she is back in the bed and did not sit with me this morning as usual. I hate to leave for work but I have to.

[paulywogg]

Hey all, Dots you aren't scaring anyone off silly goose I have been sick, thought it was just allergies but I'm positive it's a cold, been dosing up on apple cider vinegar, dayquil and had to take a benadryl at midnight cuz I can't freakin sleep! I only slept til 2 a.m,but it's my fault cuz I went to bed early, tonight I'm gonna make my ass stay up later,hubs and I have just been laying around with head colds,I did go to a 7 a.m AA meeting yesterday, I don't want to relapse anymore, I have to put more effort into sobriety or it'll never happen, I can't keep making promises to myself and breaking them,been watching intervention reruns and this one young woman had a 10 and 9 year old, the 10 year old looked at her mother with such disgust,it was the same look Brady gave me this last bender anyways I'm starving!!! Was too sick to eat much last night, gonna go hunting for food, love to all,let's kick Thursday's ass

[Lizann]

So having wifi issues here. Tried posting several times. I will read back. OMG Dottie, you are so not scaring us away. Please talk away. You need to, to heal. I am here for you,
So Mark got word yesterday, he is going to Switzerland for the summer! He starts on June 1st

[Lizann]

Oh Pauly, I get it,Mark looks at me the same way! Breaks my heart! Does AA help? Never been myself.