Peace -Please Help us all to find Peace without drugs:

[Spiritfree]

Kuya-you have no idea how meaningful your message is to me right now. Anna lived thru a broken family and her dad started a new life with new kids and did not allow her to be a part of his 'new' family. It truly is just damn heartbreaking.

I only wish that I knew how to better help my son get through this. He seems ok on the outside to everyone else but he tells me how bad he hurting -and only tells me. I just listen and offer no advice except to hug him and cry with him.

Spiritfree, this is so tragic and I do understand how devastating this is for your family.

A year ago my son's best friend had a girlfriend who was 17 and a bit mixed up. They had a daughter of 18 months, both young parents had only a minor history of drug abuse/legal and social problems but they were both from very dysfunctional and unsupportive families.

The young man was then 25 but when he was 14 I had asked to foster him from his adoptive family but they refused saying that all he needed was 'tough love'...... He went from bad to worse over the intervening years.

On that tragic night this young couple had a row and he stormed out to cool down....he went to the local shop for cigarettes. While he was gone she decided to tie a belt round her neck and hang herself in the wardrobe.....it was simply a tantrum, a need to be heard.

He came home and sat in the living room sulking. Their daughter came in and said

"Mummy is sleeping in the cupboard".

She was dead.

The mother's parents refused to allow the young father to attend the funeral. He had done nothing wrong other than be young and dumb. The child will grow up without her mother and alienated from her father. She is a statistic waiting in the wings.

Teenagers are naturally full of drama and melodrama, crises and ultimatum. This is the age they learn to hide in drugs to escape their feelings.

I am so sorry your family had to suffer such a tragedy. I hope you can intervene in a positive way.

This may sound trite but, no matter what, time will heal.

[Spiritfree]

I am very sorry for all your family and your son are going through, I will keep you all in my prayers.

Frances -thank u so very much. SF

[Spiritfree]

Spirt,
That is such a terrible situation and I'm sending thoughts your way. Being there for your son is the best advice I can give. Hug him lots. :hug:

Hey J-Vo. Thank u very much. All that I do right now is just listen to him and hold him as he cries. I certainly would do not and will not bring it up again to him, but I had begged all them to get her some true mental medical help. My son tried his best to pass this on to her family but THEY all insisted on that tough love BS. Tough love kills -bottom line; I have seen it do so more than once now.

[Spiritfree]

Tonight, I want to share with anyone who is interested in hearing, just how tragic and sad this story really is and just how sad and tragic the drug/alcohol addiction world is to so many young people (and others as well).

Many of us on this site and elsewhere, do in fact have brain disorders not common to the so called mainstream. When we eventually end up mixing brain altering chemicals with our already dis-ordered brains, tragic events can occur; exasperated feelings of guilt/shame, harming others physically and or verbally, or even harming ourselves to the point of taking our own lives.

Young people are especially vulnerable to taking their own lives when they mix their already young and maturing brains with drugs of any type. If a particular young person already feels lost, alone, not wanted, etc. and then mixes in brain altering substances, they very likely subject themselves to greater feelings of self pity, loneliness, fear, etc. As such, some reach a point that they can neither see nor feel any hope.
Their brains, already dis-oriented and trying to grow, are unable to reach out for help because they do not feel that there is any help that can 'help them'.

My middle son lost a very beautifully spirited girlfriend of four years. They parted ways two months ago and he thought that 'he' would be the one to help her. He feels guilt beyond understanding. My wife and I feel guilt yet we both understand the fact that we were unable to get her the help she needed and still we both feel that there had to be something that we could have done.

Brains that are dis-ordered to begin with, mixed with brain altering chemicals, can end up in very tragic situations such as death.

I have lost another close loved one as a result of lack of mental health care combined with drugs. I simply do not care if you like or agree with me, but I am going to say it one more time, if you are a current addict of a mind altering chemical, your only alternative is to stop taking the chemical and get medical help for your existing brain disorder. Forget the moderation crap, forget the 'I can help myself' crap, and ask for and get help. This applies to people of all ages but especially to young people. Peace to us all. --sf--