Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

[abcowboy]

You're right [MENTION=22409]Quit wining[/MENTION], it's all in attitude! My quit drinking app tells me I've saved $19,785.00 by not drinking, so there's still some pie left on the plate!

[DriftyAlison0]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

I agree. If you have an attitude of not wanting to drink it will help you not drink. My AL mind keeps trying to get me to go for a beer but I know 1 will turn into 2 and then tomorrow would be shot. So instead I am staying home tonight and watching tv. Having an attitude of I am not going to drink is helping. I keep thinking that these cravings are never going to go away or weaken, but I know better then that. I can already tell that they are slowly weaking and the more time that I have sober, the stronger the quit and the weaker the cravings and urges will be.

I just got to take it one day at a time.

[Jude58]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Well, it’s been a roller coaster of a week for me, 2 very early mornings to get to the city for early appointments that were both actually great news. Fingers and arm are progressing better than expected, so now comes the slow, painful work on getting mobility back in my wrist. Thankfully the physiotherapist figured that running the buttons and hydro stick in the combine would be good therapy all around. My new glasses came in Wednesday and picked them up when we got back from the city, only had to spend $700 for them.

Went for my hearing test and assessment this morning, and as I suspected, I need hearing aids. Then came the decision on how much to spend, who knew how many models and options were available in a hearing aid!! The price range was from $2000 to $8000 depending on the model and options. I ended up going about mid-range, $4950. Rechargeable style with auto volume level, adapted to reduce and mask my tinnitus, and a cell phone adapter. Go next Friday to pick them up and have final fitting done.

Hank’s follow-up appointment with the vet was this afternoon. The meds he was on worked perfectly and the fungal/bacterial infection between his toes is all cleared up! His thyroid range came back normal, so it seems his medication for that is spot on. With all the appointments, tests, and meds, the bill has just about hit the $1500 mark. Then came the bad news. His lipoma has grown so big (the vet estimated it to be 12 – 15 lbs) that it’s pressing on the nerve pack to his back legs and that’s what’s causing the shaking/quivering. It’s also squeezing shut his femoral artery in his leg next to the lipoma and that’s why he’s losing control of that leg. Two options were available to us, leave well enough alone and then have him put down when he loses complete control of his hind end, or have the lipoma surgically removed. He would have the surgery one day, and a “tube” put in to drain any fluid build up after the surgery. He would stay in the vet hospital for three more days for pain relief, observation, and removal of the drain tube. Then he could come home. They did a full blood work-up to see if he was able to handle the surgery and after a 20 minute wait, the results came back that he was in excellent condition to have the surgery and could expect a full recovery in 2 -3 weeks. The vet figured with surgery, hospital stay, antibiotics, and follow ups, the costs would run between $1500 to $2000. My buddy goes under the knife on Monday, and the kid’s inheritance just dropped lol.

Needless to say with me working very little for the past 6 weeks all these costs, along with fuel and parking for my appointments, is putting a bit of a strain on our finances. The good news is, Hank and I should enjoy full recoveries and have a few more years to spend together, and the costs aren’t about to take the roof from over our heads. It’s only money after all….

Cowboy...I admire you for keeping your chin up during the past several weeks of both physical and financial strain. Part of life I guess.... I'm so glad that you are going to have the surgery to remove Hank's lipoma. He will feel so much better afterwards, and once you're both healed, hopefully, you can enjoy many more years together. Can't put a price tag on that!

[SKendall]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Hi cowboy, $700 is crazy! I don't know if you've heard of 39dollars.com. I like the choices and the price goes up - not much, for bifocals, et.

You will need your script. I've been using them for 15 yrs w/o any problems and they ship to Canada - made in the USA

[abcowboy]

Thanks [MENTION=651]SKendall[/MENTION]! Definitely going to look into that when I need the next pair!

[abcowboy]

It’s often been said that our lives are like a book, everyday is a new page, every year a new chapter, and it’s up to us to write our own story. Well, for most of this past year my life feels more like a saga than a story! And so many things can happen to us that make us change the way we want our story to go.

That’s the way it’s been for me this past year, outside influences almost writing my story for me. But even if that’s so, it is still up to me to end each page on a positive note, I’m sober and I intend to stay that way. The problems with Hank didn’t make me reach for a can of beer, my accident didn’t make me reach for a can of beer, and Lord knows smaller things have happened to me that gave me the excuse I needed for a full out drunk. Now things are moving in a direction that will have a major impact on Bubba, Hank, and my life.

The father-in-law’s dementia is rapidly progressing, his medications are no longer keeping his aggressiveness and unacceptable social behaviours at bay. His Doc is worried about increasing the dosage as it will cause his Parkinsonism to also get worse as well as shorten his life even more. It’s to the point that the mother-in-law is having trouble looking after him. The mother-in-law’s eyesight is deteriorating to the point that her Doctor has told her that she won’t qualify for a driver’s license when her medical comes due in January. And this past week Bubba has been over to Vegreville a few times as the mother-in-law has had some bowel problems that caused a few visits to the Doctor and hospital. Bubba even had to spend the night there to help deal with the father-in-law.

So the future is a bit uncertain, but we’re going over Monday to start things in motion. It’s nigh on to impossible for us to move in with them or have them move in with us. Even Bubba says that after staying over the one night it was obvious that us living with them just wouldn’t work out. She checked into the availability of senior’s housing in Vegreville and it doesn’t look promising. There are a few rooms for singles, but a waiting list for couples. So Monday it’s off to tour the various homes, find one suitable and affordable, then get their names on the list. Once they get moved in, we'll deal with the rest. Plus the fact that since neither of them will be able to drive, someone will need to be there to get them where they need to go.

It looks like my plan for building and living at the farm is now going to be just a dream. Our next move will be to Vegreville so that we are able to look after the in-laws. Monday will also see about us getting their house turned over to us and all the utilities put in our name, which means assuming the home equity loan owing against it that was taken out to help the brother-in-law. We’ll more than likely just go into our house building savings and pay it off. Then comes the decision about our house in Vermilion and the furnishings in both houses. It’s going to be an interesting few months ahead of me for sure.

Life sure has a way of making decisions for you, but the one decision we can all make is not to drink, no matter what, no matter who. And these next few months and on into next year will be so much easier for me to deal with by staying sober….

[Guitarista]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Sorry to hear your inlaws and all of you are having a tough time AB. Can you still have a farm living set up for maybe weekend getaways for now?

Hope things work out for all there soon.

[dill]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Cowboy I am sorry for all the tumult you are dealing with. Some of life's stages are so difficult to navigate. I am sure you and Bubba will draw strength from each other and will make the best of what's to come. I am curious if you looked into senior housing in your area for your inlaws. It may make more sense than you both closing up shop and moving. You still have years ahead of you. If I were in the position your inlaws are in I would not want to be too much burden on anyone and would not feel so great if my children made such big sacrifices. Just a thought.

Drinking would make all of it worse, of course. You are so right.

[abcowboy]

G-Man, we do have our camper set up at the farm that we stay in when we can from spring till fall. The thing is that I run my plumbing/heating/ac company from my shop out at the farm and it’s so close to the neighbours that I help out with seeding and harvest. The plan was to build our retirement home out there as well so that I wouldn’t have the ½ hour drive morning and night to start my work day. Vegreville is about the same amount of drive from the farm as Vermilion is, so it’s not the end of the world if I have to make the drive from Vegreville instead of Vermilion.

I understand what you’re saying [MENTION=7944]dill[/MENTION], but that’s not really an option either. Vegreville is a predominately Ukrainian town and the mother-in-law speaks Ukrainian 90% of the time. Her English is broken at best, and she has a hard time understanding a lot of English, especially when it comes to medical terms etc. Her Church, UK Catholic Woman’s Group, etc is all there and she won’t leave those. I guess I don’t really blame her as I probably wouldn’t either. Bubba and I really don’t have much tying us to Vermilion, and what there is can stay in place, bank, Dr’s, etc. You have to understand a bit of the Ukrainian culture, it’s tradition that a family member move into the family home when the parent’s need help and caring for. Times have changed, but to them it is expected that we will move in and then help care for them.

It is helping in that I know this will sort of firm up our future, no more wondering about where we’ll be in a year or two. And it’s not all bad, there is a better shopping base in Veg, and it’ll be an hour closer to Edmonton for all the trips needed to be made.

[Quit wining]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Lots of decisions ahead Cowboy, few of them easy.

That you and Bubba are there to help your in laws speaks volumes about your character.

Several years ago when my in laws needed help, we moved from north of Edmonton to eastern Ontario to help care for them. I took early retirement from the best job I ever had.
Mrs QW’s parents both passed while we were there but I know that we greatly improved their quality of life. We had a lot of good times including many restaurant meals. Sadly my wife’s siblings didn’t recognize our efforts. Oh well, we know what we did and we don’t regret a minute of the time we were with them.

As you help Bubba’s folks, remember that sometimes they may say hurtful things. It’s usually the meds talking and not them.

You and Bubba have some challenges ahead. Being af is going to be a huge help to everyone.

Don’t take everything the medical community tells you as gospel. Be prepared to ask lots of questions and when necessary, be very firm.

All the best Cowboy as you and Bubba meet the challenges ahead. If you ever need to vent, feel free to pm me.

Something I wish I’d had when our parents were aging is a book called Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan, a palliative care nurse. Highly recommended reading.

QW

[Jude58]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

It sounds like you and Bubba have a long row to hoe ahead of you [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION]. You've both been through a lot together lately, and it is a real test of your faith and character. My job entails working with folks with dementia and Alzheimer's, and I know what you are dealing with. If there's anything that I can help with please let me know.

[abcowboy]

CAUTION: this post is about Advent and the real spirit of the Christmas season...

As I read around the boards and see people setting up their decorations for Christmas, the nicely decorated tree, the ornaments, colored lights, etc and I wonder, what does Christmas mean to them? As they scratch their heads wondering what to buy and for whom, how much should they spend, and will it be good enough? How many people give to the Salvation Army that have volunteers set up in every mall accepting donations for those less fortunate? How many take the time to purchase a gift for Santa's Anonymous? Makes me wonder what Christmas means to many of us...

I know what it means to me, it means the birth of Our Saviour, the One who got me started (and helps keep me) on my road to recovery. In our house there are 3 things to mark the season, a small 2' tree without decorations, an Advent wreath and candles, and a Nativity scene. There is also one other thing, a box to hold the daily items that we purchase to give to the Food Bank. we use the Reverse Advent Calendar to do this. People have very different ways to celebrate Christmas, and Christmas means many different things to people, but it seems to me that the common theme is in giving gifts. So why not pick up something to give to those less fortunate as you're doing your shopping...




I'll bet the items on this list cost less than what you used to spend on alcohol in a week...

[Guitarista]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Good reminder Cowboy. I'm on it.

Hope all's good there mate. Any holiday's coming up?

[abcowboy]

Things are going not too bad for me G-Man, life is good!

It’s winter now over here, and a whole lots colder than what you’re experiencing lol, so there’s always the emergency heating repairs that I get called out on. I’ve a few small jobs to get finished before Christmas week and then take it easy from the 20th into the new year. One of the benefits of being self-employed I guess lol.

How’s your plans for another holiday shaping up?

[Guitarista]

Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

Sounds good.

I was hoping to have gone away last month but a new clutch for the car and service put a hold on that! lol. I'm aiming for april/may or june ish next year to do some more travelling. I want to take my band with me somewhere. We have a contact in Texas, so it's possible we'll head there. It depends on what the band can commit to. At the very least i will go on my own anyway. Maybe Sth america, or India, or mexico, Europe.....not sure yet. All good here though with plenty of good stuff to do, including some horseriding today. I haven't saddled up for over 20 years!