One Step at a Time - August 2016

[NoraC]

Another thing that I did and still do is surf. I subscribe to Tired of Thinking about Drinking. I get e-mails from there. I also go to her site and read. I read Unpickled. Usually when I'm reading those, I end up clicking and going to another site and on & on. It has helped me so much. I keep a personal ongoing word document that is filled with different quotes, links, personal thoughts, etc.
Anyway - just trying to think of things I did this time.

[actiongirl46]

Thank you Nora . . . for some reason hubs and I are not clicking right now. Sucks. I just wish he could be supportive instead of critical, but that is not happening and it is not helping my attempt at progress.

Any advice would be welcome. Sorry to be a downer, thanks for your help . . .

[Glass Half Empty]

Hi AG - it's nice to see you back here. Sorry - I can't give relationship advice

Is everyone else glued to the Olympics, or is it just me? Actually, the Paras are more my thing (and the subject of my doctoral thesis) but this is a nice warm up for the main event.

[sunshinedaisies]

AG - what happened with the naltrexone? Did you decide to give up on it? It does take patience and faith but is SO worth it. Oh and sorry about hubs being so unsupportive - that is so sad - it is for HIS benefit to be supportive!

Hi to everyone here - hope that you are all doing well,

Hugs, sun x

[ToMyHealth]

Nora, thanks for sharing, and I so agree with you. In the past even though I repeatedly only got a couple weeks AF, I used roll call. First, I thought I can't say Day such & such, day isn't over. Turned that around to yes, I can & it worked just like you said. Too late, can't drink now.
AG, sorry for circumstances. Has to make it so much harder!

Last night my dh helped out at a funeral at our church. He was called upon because he volunteers there serving homeless once/week. I am lucky in that I brought up my plan to go AF while out for his b.d. Dinner, and he has chosen to join me. Yet last night as I sat watching Olympics I allowed my mind to go,to what if. What if he comes home stressed & says he is going to have a drink. My train of thought was his choice, does not need to be mine, and it would not make me angry or offend me. Didn't happen. I detect a sense of relief with him, like he knew we needed to cut back.
Maybe TMI or boring, just relaying my thoughts.

[Lizann]

Good morning and happy hump day. I read back and appreciate everyone's helpful advice.
I do like Nora too. Just read a lot and it does help, so much. Just clicking on links takes you to a lot of info. I'm at work so forgive me if I end abruptly. I don't know when someone will walk in.
Got up at 4am today by accident. Set my clock an hour ahead by mistake last night. UGH!
Here at work we have a tv in the waiting room and it is set on the Olympics. I so enjoy it. I can't stay awake at night to watch all fit. They recap everything in the morning anyway. Mark and I love the diving!

[actiongirl46]

Hi all! Well, Day 2 didn't go so well but I have a new aha to talk about with my therapist!! Arrgh. Ok. Back at it. Just going to keep trying.

[actiongirl46]

Sun- I restarted the Nal again yesterday. Made the mistake of dropping it over the summer after 5 weeks on. So, trying again. Also saw dr Monday and got a refill so I am all set. More later!!

[NoraC]

Techie - Did you see the specialist today?

SK - any word on the referral?

Rusty - hurry home and tell us your one step at a time stories. I'm curious!

Well - just wanted to check in.

AGL - is hubby not on board with you or just in a mood? Makes it much harder when hubby is in a bad mood or bad attitude. I know!

[NoraC]

Sunnie - Great to see you as ALWAYS!!!! :yay:

[SKendall]

No word yet, Nora. Not up to posting just now.

[Rusty]

Hi Friends,

I am on the plane home now...happy but exhausted! I keep dozing off so I wanted to post while I had the energy. Hahah! It so does not help that there is a whiny, screeching little boy sitting in back of me on the plane. He is with his parents and 3 sisters. At one point, while I was dozing off, his screaming hit a crescendo and I blurted out, without thinking, "HOLY CRAP, KID...WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?????!!!!" My parents would NEVER have let me screech like that...I wouldn't have DARED.

Ok, my "One Step At A Time" story: While I was in Utah, I walked and then crawled up this mountain in the Wasatch Mountain Range called Waterfall Canyon. It's 1.2 miles uphill and at the top of the mountain is this amazing waterfall. Several times during my journey up, I asked people how much further I had to go...I didn't think I could do it. I almost turned around and came down the mountain before reaching the peak but so many other people who were hiking at the same time kept telling me that I could do it. They had faith in me. At one point, tired and extremely hot, a very fit younger man in fetching black cycling shorts (this is what I think our sweet, fit and oh-so-hot Techie looks like:heartbeat sprinted past me on the way down the mountain and said, "just take it ONE STEP AT A TIME." I REALLY, REALLY thought how much easier it would have been to just say, "screw it...I CAN'T do this and I don't WANT to." But if I had turned around, I would have felt the same way I did when my AL off switch would malfunction and I was back to Day One ..I would have been filled with shame, remorse cowardice. I felt such a sense of accomplishment. Getting sober was SO not easy for me...I had so many stops and starts. Did I moderate successfully for a good long while? YES, I did...with a combination of NAL and Baclofen...and once I felt indifferent to AL, mt brain had rewired itself so I didn't miss drinking anymore. AF life was truly my lifestyle. Being in Utah has been a bonus for me because the majority of the population is LDS...they don't drink or smoke...and I admire their commitment to family and how they can have a bountiful life without AL. Positive reinforcement is so important.

AG and TMH-Stick close to us. Nora is our leader and we as her humble and loyal team members will guide you all the way!

Sunny!!!!!-GREAT to see you!!! So happy for you that you have found YOUR Way Out with Naltrexone! YIPPEE! It really does work!

Big hellos to everyone else. I'll post more tomorrow. This kid's been driving me nuts!!! I need a cat nap before we land.

[actiongirl46]

Thanks Rusty. Some great insights and analogies!! I hope u get some rest once u get home.

@Nora, I guess it's just a mood. I am also feeling pretty vulnerable right now so am probably more sensitive than normal (which usually I'm over the top anyway). Example: we were driving by a new street scape project was finished while we were gone. Me: oh, that looks nice! New sidewalk and trees! Him: New no parking signs! They just wanted to restrict more cars.

Ok. Done venting.

[Lizann]

Rusty, good for! What an accomplishment! I'm sure you slept soundly that night. I know that was hard but you did it.
AG, Hang in there. We are here for you. Hopefully he will become more supportive.
Long day at work but it's all good. Came home and Erin was here :love: miss my girl. Mark has a picnic at work tomorrow and needs a dessert. I made cookies for him. Took me back to the day when they were little. Glad he still needs his mommy.

[NoraC]

Well folks.......heard from Mama this evening. She received a call from her boss yesterday. I'm not sure exactly how it was worded.....but, bottom line is take a HUGE pay cut ($20,000.00) or the job will go away. Other properties are not meeting budget. Really screwed! But, Mama is doing ok - she is exhausted (filling in for a manager that is on vacation this week) She said she is exhausted and not drinking.
We're with you Mama :hug: