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October Army 2016
				
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 That would be amazing to have that. I have always been terrified of going to an AA meeting in a chilly church or village hall etc. Dont know why. I guess it is my perception. You were so lucky to have rehab. I think If I had that, I would have a different perspective. I do feel grateful that we have places like this though.Originally posted by mollyka
 
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 Not regularly but where I work its promoted because its secular. I've been to about 3.........its in 2 parts. First part is just saying hello or nothing if you want..........the facilitator asks how your week went.........no pressure to answer............second part facilitator has a subject that he/she'll talk about and ask to jot a few things down............then maybe discuss. Most times you go away with something printed about what that day's meeting was about. Nobody's going to force you to talk, its all very laid back. Same confidentiality as AA.Originally posted by starty View PostMorning Jax. Are you a member of SMART? Is it worth checking out?
 
 Got to go Mr JC's sitting in the car.
 
 Edit. Yep its worth a look.It could be worse, I could be filing.
 AF since 7/7/2009
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 Morning,
 Think I missed the morning coffee, yiz are all back to work now!
 Completely agree with getting sober at a later age, I suppose the tolerance is still building up for most people too.
 
 Like you starty, the idea of AA doenst appeal for the same reasons. However, the 'real life' quick chat with Molly yesterday was great - but then again, the beauty on an online forum is that you can work it into your day. Any everyone is here at at some point. Plus there has to be people lurking that get something from it???AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:
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 Im kind of surprised at this and I shouldnt be I suppose. I thought you, Jacks, Satz and others didnt have that monster anymore!! That you had absolute confidence that you would Never go back to that life.Originally posted by mollykaI FEEL that's the case for me anyway -- but I can't disregard what they said in rehab either -- that there's that sneaky 'you'll be fine' monster lurking inside my head somewhere waiting to be unleashed -- maybe it's extra insurance they wanted me to have -- but so far it has worked -- bottom line I'm sober and happy -- but I do think my mind COULD be changed -- not by someone else - but by itself without attention being paid -- hope some of that makes sense?
 
 And you too Startys, but I didnt know you then. I suppose it can never truly go, can it.AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:
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 Hello Army!! inkele: inkele:
 
 Things are good in Stirly-World. Working long hours with little spare time but enjoying it and finding it very fulfilling. Love being my own boss. Kids and Grandbabies healthy and happy, work going well, weather is warm and sunny. Much to be grateful for.
 
 Wishing you all a smashing Sunday!!!For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
 AF since 10/10/2015:yay:
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 Stirly, you sound fantastic, well done you on your 1 year!
 
 Have to run..
 
 cdd5e4858eac95d440512d9ea2f747a2.jpgAF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:
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 Morning again guys....I feel back to sleep !! I've just read back and there have been some very interesting points made. How many times have I tried this ? More than I care to remember. I always think I can do it alone and crack at day 3. My head is a minefield of thoughts .... All of which you know about.... And its easier to quiet the voices and drown them in vodka than white knuckle it. As for aa... I've tried it once and it wasn't for me. Or maybe that was just a crap meeting. I don't know. What I do know is that this lifestyle is gonna kill me if I carry on. I'm 45 and my tolerance is high, and I'm drinking more to get the hit. I hold down a full time job and am a married mum of 4 kids. I look normal, act normal, but am far from normal. My youngest kid turns 10 soon, and I've been drinking this time since shortly after his birth. Its almost a year (26th) since I lost my mum, and I feel that now is the time to take my life back ..... Any help, support and advice will be greatly appreciated xxOne hour, one day at a time.
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 Hiya Questy-I remember you!Originally posted by questeroo View PostMorning again guys....I feel back to sleep !! I've just read back and there have been some very interesting points made. How many times have I tried this ? More than I care to remember. I always think I can do it alone and crack at day 3. My head is a minefield of thoughts .... All of which you know about.... And its easier to quiet the voices and drown them in vodka than white knuckle it. As for aa... I've tried it once and it wasn't for me. Or maybe that was just a crap meeting. I don't know. What I do know is that this lifestyle is gonna kill me if I carry on. I'm 45 and my tolerance is high, and I'm drinking more to get the hit. I hold down a full time job and am a married mum of 4 kids. I look normal, act normal, but am far from normal. My youngest kid turns 10 soon, and I've been drinking this time since shortly after his birth. Its almost a year (26th) since I lost my mum, and I feel that now is the time to take my life back ..... Any help, support and advice will be greatly appreciated xx
 
 I'm not around much due to the overwhelming hours I work so I don't give much advice. But I just wanted to reply to your post and to say that I, along with other sober members here, can now say we have our lives back. My last years of drinking we horrible but the last year was a nightmare. The thing is that our mind is so consumed with when we can have that first drink and then, if we have enough to get our buzz and if anyone will notice and what if someone calls after I'm tipsy and I can't talk properly and did Mr. Stirly notice that I wasn't walking too steadily and what if the doorbell rings and it's the lady from upstairs and I can't talk to her or what if I meet someone when I'm walking the dog and they see that I can't walk in a straight line? The list goes on and on. Horrible. And then getting up the next morning, feeling like shit and wondering if you said or did anything to show you'd been drinking and do I have to go get a bottle and so on and so forth. Never ending. You are a prisoner in a bottle. Not living, just existing. That is what you leave behind when you leave AL behind. The nightmare of it all. Whiteknuckling - yeah, it's a bitch, but it isn't for that long. I had a terrible time sleeping but I just kept telling myself that eventually I would go to sleep. Some nights I only got two or three hours sleep. And I had very bad muscle cramps in my thighs that I think were due to my body detoxing. But I knew I could get through it - that I had to, to save myself and to find myself again. Not that person drowning in the bottle, but the person I used to be before AL and the all-consuming thoughts of AL took over my life. And today, after one year sober, I can say that it is true. I have found myself again. The amount of strength and endurance I have now is so much more than I had a year ago. I have accomplished things I never would have been able to do one year ago. I have found myself, I have my life back, I feel like I am reborn. Yes, there will be hard times, when you think, damn, I want a drink SOOO bad. But they are only thoughts and thoughts pass. And urges pass and cravings pass. They do. Just do something to get through them. Take a long, hot bath, call a friend, grab a good book, put on a movie you've never seen. Even if it means going out for a walk at midnight in the rain or jumping around in your yard like a loony-tune. Anything that will get you through to the other side of the cravings. It can be done and it is so worth it. We all have bad days and we all have days that we'd like to say F-it, but those are all part of life. And goodness knows with 4 kids, you will have your fair share of them. But AL isn't going to make the days better, nor will AL make them go away. You'll just have to deal with all the shite the next day with a hangover. So stick close to the Army, or whatever other threads you feel comfortable with and lean on the folks here for support, understanding and advice. That's why MWO was created and that's what it's all about. Sending you positive thoughts and strength.
 
 Stirly...For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
 AF since 10/10/2015:yay:
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 Omg stirly I could hug you right now !! Thanks so, so much xx everything you say is true. The thoughts, feelings, planning, hangovers ... All of it. I'm going to re read your post several times to make sure I don't forget a single word xxxxOriginally posted by stirly-girly View PostHiya Questy-I remember you!
 
 I'm not around much due to the overwhelming hours I work so I don't give much advice. But I just wanted to reply to your post and to say that I, along with other sober members here, can now say we have our lives back. My last years of drinking we horrible but the last year was a nightmare. The thing is that our mind is so consumed with when we can have that first drink and then, if we have enough to get our buzz and if anyone will notice and what if someone calls after I'm tipsy and I can't talk properly and did Mr. Stirly notice that I wasn't walking too steadily and what if the doorbell rings and it's the lady from upstairs and I can't talk to her or what if I meet someone when I'm walking the dog and they see that I can't walk in a straight line? The list goes on and on. Horrible. And then getting up the next morning, feeling like shit and wondering if you said or did anything to show you'd been drinking and do I have to go get a bottle and so on and so forth. Never ending. You are a prisoner in a bottle. Not living, just existing. That is what you leave behind when you leave AL behind. The nightmare of it all. Whiteknuckling - yeah, it's a bitch, but it isn't for that long. I had a terrible time sleeping but I just kept telling myself that eventually I would go to sleep. Some nights I only got two or three hours sleep. And I had very bad muscle cramps in my thighs that I think were due to my body detoxing. But I knew I could get through it - that I had to, to save myself and to find myself again. Not that person drowning in the bottle, but the person I used to be before AL and the all-consuming thoughts of AL took over my life. And today, after one year sober, I can say that it is true. I have found myself again. The amount of strength and endurance I have now is so much more than I had a year ago. I have accomplished things I never would have been able to do one year ago. I have found myself, I have my life back, I feel like I am reborn. Yes, there will be hard times, when you think, damn, I want a drink SOOO bad. But they are only thoughts and thoughts pass. And urges pass and cravings pass. They do. Just do something to get through them. Take a long, hot bath, call a friend, grab a good book, put on a movie you've never seen. Even if it means going out for a walk at midnight in the rain or jumping around in your yard like a loony-tune. Anything that will get you through to the other side of the cravings. It can be done and it is so worth it. We all have bad days and we all have days that we'd like to say F-it, but those are all part of life. And goodness knows with 4 kids, you will have your fair share of them. But AL isn't going to make the days better, nor will AL make them go away. You'll just have to deal with all the shite the next day with a hangover. So stick close to the Army, or whatever other threads you feel comfortable with and lean on the folks here for support, understanding and advice. That's why MWO was created and that's what it's all about. Sending you positive thoughts and strength.
 
 Stirly...One hour, one day at a time.
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 Hey LC.. It's Sunday, the army 'pondering' day!!
 
 Afternoon questo.. I second what Molly said about reading everything you can. Books, blogs, this entire website, novels even.. Obsess about brainwashing your brain, that's what it boils down to really.. The cravings will pass, it's the way we think about alcohol that we need to rewire.Originally posted by questeroo View PostMorning again guys....I feel back to sleep !! I've just read back and there have been some very interesting points made. How many times have I tried this ? More than I care to remember. I always think I can do it alone and crack at day 3. My head is a minefield of thoughts .... All of which you know about.... And its easier to quiet the voices and drown them in vodka than white knuckle it. As for aa... I've tried it once and it wasn't for me. Or maybe that was just a crap meeting. I don't know. What I do know is that this lifestyle is gonna kill me if I carry on. I'm 45 and my tolerance is high, and I'm drinking more to get the hit. I hold down a full time job and am a married mum of 4 kids. I look normal, act normal, but am far from normal. My youngest kid turns 10 soon, and I've been drinking this time since shortly after his birth. Its almost a year (26th) since I lost my mum, and I feel that now is the time to take my life back ..... Any help, support and advice will be greatly appreciated xx
 Not to sounds too weird :eyes: I am also 45 and similar aged kids.. And I work. Plus Not a single person would have guessed the struggle in my head for the last decade (and the rest If I'm honest!). The panic in making sure I had sufficient wine in, the shame of my trolly contents, the hidden bottles under the stairs, hoping not to get caught with gin top ups, the stress of driving to work the next day possibly over the limit.. The list goes and on.. And now it's gone. Freedom.
 
 Get yourself a plan for later and give booze the 2 fingers tonight...Last edited by IamMary; October 9, 2016, 07:37 AM.AF - July 19th 2015 :happy2:
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