One Step at a Time - February 2017

[actiongirl46]

Wow, thanks all for the encouragement! I really appreciate it. I could not have done 11 days without you.

Something that I've been thinking about a lot the last week is a thought you gave me. I can't remember which one of you or when. It was about FOCUS. Will power. Just don't drink. The thoughts are still coming (right on time, hello planning hour of 4:00pm) but they are not as strong. I start to count the hours until 9pm. I eat. I distract my mind.

It feels really good to be in the double digits. Thank you.

[actiongirl46]

What's up Nora?? Are you in the blankie fort? How was your day?

Rusty - thanks for the story about company. That is so true. At least for me, the drink makes me less focused on who I'm with or what I'm eating.

SPEAKING OF EATING, oh boy. I'm not going to worry about it here in Week 2, but will at least need to cut out the ice cream pretty soon. I forgot how good that stuff is! Yum.

Techie, how was the skiing?

Liz, when is the wedding? I forgot the date.

Pauly, thanks for the support, you are awesome!

SK - sorry you lost your post. Please check in when you can!

[NoraC]

Yes......definitely a blankie fort day.

Come on over

[paulywogg]

Cripes I just woke up and feel like I need the blankie fort! I wanna go back to bed and start over,I have anxiety but it might be cuz I took a natural supplement for my sinuses,or cuz my hubs is driving me crazy,congrats on day 12 AG watched "Due Date" last night,I haven't seen it in awhile and it was on IFC,its like "Plains,trains and automobiles" but has Robert Downey Jr and the guy from the hangover I think,funny movie haha,I just got to get over this feeling and get through the day,I'm so tired of "just getting through" PMA!! Waves to all,have a nice AF Friday

[NoraC]

Hi Pauly. I know what you mean about getting thru. But, we are worth babying ourselves. So that is why the Blankie Fort is open. I think I might be here f o r a couple days recharging. :heartbeat:

[SKendall]

Vivian made a blankie fort for her and I her last week and I thought of you all.

AG, you are doing very well. I think posting here makes us accountable and we learn so much.

Had 2 mri's yesterday. Will have to wait for details on knee, but the 2 discs in my back are still broken, but the fracture of the spine has healed. I think surgery is likely, broken discs don't heal. He reminded me not to lift or bend, I can't take that advice when living alone. I've been in pain everyday for the last year and it was worse at the beginning and the whole of last year. They don't offer pain management until after surgery FFS! This whole opioid shutdown has people with real pain, just dealing with it the best they know how.

Rusty, how did your incident with your neck end?

Vivian is coming over tomorrow and I promised her a treasure hunt. My apt. is small but I have imagination. A trip to the dollar store and Krispy Kreme is on the agenda.

Liz, I understand your frustration and hopefully it will all come together - soon!

Techie, please keep us updated and enjoy the skiing.

How are you doing Wildflowers?

Nora,sorry you are needing the fort. Who's up for disco cd's and tacos in the fort?

Hello to everyone else.

[paulywogg]

Me Skendall! Was just thinking of Rod Stewart and if you want my body and you think I'm sexy song to kill me funk!! Haha,funny you mentioned that I'm so sorry for the pain you're in,they treat people like drug seekers now at the pharmacy just trying to fill their damn pain management prescription! Anything natural that would help? I've been searching for Kellie but she's scared to try new herbs and vitamins cuz of her anxiety

[Wildflowers]

Quick ck in. Had two bad days this wk. Implemented every recovery tool I know. Have several. Grateful. Last night I was so very depressed. Didn't pick up phone when daughter called. Texted her today with an excuse. No need to make them worry!... Yes, blankie fort is welcomed. :heartbeat:

Will try & post more later.

For now, pizzed off at your Dr's Skendall. You likely know this: "First, do no harm. As an important step in becoming a doctor, medical students must take the Hippocratic Oath. " And one of the promises within that oath is “first, do no harm”

My GP wouldn't RX a different med, (then what you likely need). Later came in armed with printed current medical literature, peer reviewed. Reminded him of Hippocratic Oath. Told him I'm tired of suffering & could have died. You should have seen the look on his face. We often have to advocate for ourselves or loved ones. Still, doesn't always work on receiving what is needed for help.

Can you possibly take your daughter to an appt with you? Think your son is an MD, can he RX legally from out of state? Or have him make contacts in TX on your behalf? You shouldn't have to wait for surgery to help with immense pain & suffering.

Enjoy your beautiful granddaughter. That surely, will help. :smile:

Three wks continued sobriety tomorrow. It hasn't been always easy, but it's worth it!...

Waves to everyone else. :hug:

[paulywogg]

Jeez,talk about a day of ups and downs with my mood,first anxious then OK,then sad then OK,wtf? I guess I held my head high and powered through and that's a good thing, just one of those days I guess where you think too much about the past and regrets,yada yada

[actiongirl46]

I hope you are ending the day on a high note Pauly. I also appreciate your advice in the Nest that tomorrow will be a better day. At least I won't be hungover!!

SKendall, I've heard that is so painful! I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. I hope tomorrow is a little better. DISCO and TACOS ALL AROUND!!

Nora! How was your day?

Today I learned that I need to be extra careful on Fridays and (probably Saturdays). If you have any advice on that I'd love to hear it!

[NoraC]

Fridays and Saturdays are hard. I did anything to keep busy. Spent time with hubby, read, went thru paperwork, lots of time here and using other resources. Always had a plan for getting home without stopping. Carried a smaller purse so I couldn't smuggle it in.
Some nights I went to bed very early. Some nights I cried. But, it got so much better and easier. Lots of fun times with hubby. Once I was able to direct my energy towards positive things, it got easier.

SK - so sorry for what you are going thru.

WE- Fantastic job on 3 weeks.

[Wildflowers]

AG, great advice from Nora!...

Not sure if you binged solely on wknds. Did you imbibe as a reward for working hard through the week? If so, try on a new mind set. Alcohol isn't a reward at all!.. It truly won't help as a relaxing agent, as it's poison. Poison isn't fun.

Empower yourself by associating alcohol as complete destruction to your mind, body & spirit!... You are in control, not alcohol. Google AVRT. Separate It/alcohol/beast from You. Stay away from drinking places if it's a trigger. If not, enjoy healthy mocktails.

Play the tape to the end. Remember being in your kitchen laying or slumped over your island. Remember how awful you felt. Your now on the road to recovery. Living a healthy, positive lifestyle is your reward.

Stay busy. Go shopping for yourself or kids, take a bath if you like, eat ice cream, sing, sleep in if you can, get your nails done. Sleep & nutritious food helps to heal.

You've got this AG. :smile:

Well tom is our 33rd wedding anniversary. Who knew with alcohol out of the equation, and many ups & downs here we are. :heartbeat:

[abcowboy]

Mr. & Mrs. Wildflowers!

[actiongirl46]

Did you imbibe as a reward for working hard through the week? If so, try on a new mind set. Alcohol isn't a reward at all!.. It truly won't help as a relaxing agent, as it's poison. Poison isn't fun.

Thank you Nora and WF! Yes, your comment above was true for me. Until I started rewarding myself everyday. Poison is not fun, you are so right.

I am working on shifting my mindset to accepting my home as my "safe" place. It used to be my most dangerous place when unlimited AL was here. That's done now, so yes, if I don't stop anywhere and get here, eat, watch TV, interact with my beautiful family, all is good.

I am so grateful to be here. :thanks:

[Lizann]

Wildflower, Happy anniversary! Hope you guys are doing something special and fun!
You are sounding great and I'm always happy to see you posting here. Thanks for all your good advice!

Pauly, I may be wrong and please don't be upset with me but I think a lot of your mood swings are hormone related? I don't know if there are supplements for that, but for me sometimes just knowing what's causing my mood swings helps and I can just ride them out. I don't have hormones anymore:eek-new: and my moods are pretty stable, not to mention headaches are pretty much a distance memory.

AG, you are doing so good! I am proud of you! Just eat the ice cream, it's ok for now! I don't know if your a shopper but for me shopping is an escape for the weekends, last Sunday I was upset about something and a bit down I went to a huge thrift store close by. It got me out, walking and distracted. I enjoy looking for the perfect find. I did find some cute baby hangers (in their original packaging) for .99. It made me happy. Just an idea.

Nora I'm glad you're hanging in. Thanks for putting up the blankie fort. I'm in and I'm glad Skendall is bringing the disco and tacos. Anyone else love disco? Takes me back. . .

Skendall, so good to hear from you. Sounds like you're enjoying time with Vivian. Krispy Kreme are my absolute favorite. Maybe because they are not readily available where I live?
Sorry about your pain. I hope you find some relief somehow.

Rusty, are you working on getting the rest of those valentines day decorations up this weekend?

Yesterday just got away from me. I worked until after 5 last night and got stuck in traffic on the way home. Ate a quick dinner and headed over to church to help niece and nephew set up the hall for SIL surprise birthday party for today. Got home way late and literally fell into bed. A good tired! Erin has new u/s pictures of the baby! So cute and I am excited. I have been texting Erin's MIL and trying to figure out the baby shower. Trying to get CJ to move along with wedding plans. These girls are driving me nuts! Anyway I am dealing with all of it sober! Accidentally texted Erin's MIL instead of Erin the other night:eek-new: can't blame that on drunk, just plain stupid! Well off for a quick run before I get ready for the party today.
Wishing you all a great AF saturday