One Step at a Time - April 2017

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

SK - I'm so glad that your surgery is done but I've been thinking about you so much. You made me laugh about the worrywarts. That's about it alright. lol Please just don't overdo it. I know you take on too much sometimes because you don't have someone there to help you with Peggy. Is she still at your daughter's? I'm glad you were able to get off hydrocodone.
We eat Mexican food all the time. But the best food is the homemade food. My DIL is a fantastic cook. You can find a lot of good hole in the wall places around here with great food. My only problem is finding vegetarian Mexican food.
How fantastic for Vivian to get straight A's. She deserved a strawberry soda.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Regarding that post about our own BS - I do believe that after I had a good amount of AF time in, I was able to see my own part in this. I CHOSE to drink and today I choose NOT to drink. I spent a lot of time convincing myself I deserved that drink. I was wrong - I deserve NOT to drink.

I read a post on Facebook today that was posted by cousin's partner. I don't know if any of you remember but my cousin passed away 4 years ago. My Dad, my Uncle, my Aunt and then my cousin all within about 4 months.

His partner never told me this even though I had my suspicions. And I have wondered if another cousin has an issue. Maybe she'll see his post on FB. Here it is......

This is all i have to say. i watched my best friend, my partner drink himself to death. Alcohol is a much more potent, addictive substance that steals the soul, the love, the laughter, the smile and finally the breath of the persons who lose control to the poison. It is something i never talk about to anyone until only recently. i was still ashamed of the stigma and i was so used to hiding it from my friends and family. I still have trouble be completely open about the horrors of alcoholism and living with it on a daily basis.
To watch and witness someone you love so much lose the battle and the will to live or care about anything other than the next drink is too painful for words. to watch a 6'2" man in the hospital have an infant blood pressure cuff used because all others were too big. to hold that frail shell and try to give him all the love you could because he was taking his last breaths and you both knew it.
There is one other person out there that i know is all too well aware of what i am describing. That would be his amazing and loving sister that was able to come be with us during the last 5 weeks. God bless her. i am not sure if she wants me to use her name.
anyway i did not plan on writing this by any means.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Pauly - how is the congestion? I can't believe that your Kell's bf has a hernia and that she's having her procedure. You are going to be busy, busy. Do they know why she has such bad problems? How are Michelle & Bobbi doing?
You were talking about your hubby being slow & worrying about money. I agree with your attitude about telling yourself you have enough. A roof over our heads, a job, food, etc. I need to remember to be grateful. Hubby & I were driving today and saw a man holding a sign asking for money or something. I carry some bags in my car that I filled with some food & hygienic supplies. Anyway, we were in the wrong lane and had to pass the freeway and drive up to turn around and then drive back and then turn into where that man was standing. I finally got the car turned around and was able to give him the bag. I was so glad that we did that because after I handed it to him, he held it up and looked in the bag. As we drove away I saw that he had left from standing there and was walking down the street. I'm sure he was heading back to his spot by the bridge underpass or nearby. He had food to eat. Anyway, don't know why I shared that story. Ha, ha. Just hubby & I were on the same page and it was meant to be and I think that man really needed food.
I hope that your hubby is in a better mood today. Hey, I saw a video of the zip line in Vegas from the Freemont? Have you done that?
I hate that when hubby gets done with something, he then thinks it's ok to talk non-stop. Heaven forbid anyone bother him when he's reading or using the computer. But, he doesn't hesitate to interrupt me. Hrmph. LOL - like that's something to complain about.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Guess - I'll just keep posting here. My niece came and gone. 17 years old - she was at the track meet in a nearby city so she stayed with us last night. She couldn't participate because she has a stress fracture but she is cheering them on. She had left her stuff over here so she came back by to pick it up. Our young kiddos have all grown up. Our nieces and nephews that we took care of and then their children. Guess we have to wait for the next round of young ones. Can't be from DS & DIL yet. They still can't find a place. He does not have steady income because he is doing writing (online SEO) and DIL is a server so her paycheck looks minimal. Doesn't show all her tips. They show their bank balance, etc but most want salary proof, of course. I just keep telling them to find out if places will let her dad co-sign. Sigh.....


WF - Glad you didn't lose any trees in your wind storm. My brother said there was a bad one in Florence also. Branches down, etc.
I hope you enjoy coloring when you get it. I don't know how to describe it. It's just relaxing. I don't try not to think, I just let my brain drift all over everything but somehow just the action of coloring relaxes me.
Did I tell you that I never received my wildflowers? I haven't given up hope yet. But, we did go and buy our sunflowers and planted them today? I also got some daisy seeds that I'm going to plant in a pot. I love daisies. I had them in my wedding bouquet.
How has your pain been? Any relief yet?
I saw somewhere that you said something about the new 'mention' feature I think? I have seen a couple of different things today. I haven't seen that one.

Glassie & Fen - are you around? I'm sending out vibes to you both. :heartbeat:

I did get a wonderful voice mail from Mama Bear today. But, by the time I got a chance to call her back, I saw on FB that she was off having fun so I didn't call. I do miss all our peeps.

Well - just had to make another stop from here and help Mom to bed. She just hasn't been feeling well since that episode earlier this week. She's failing....but then she'll suddenly have a really good day.

AG - I'm so glad that the college road trip went well. Lucky you that you got to listen to metal music. I always got to enjoy rap when my son was a teenager and now he is into techno? Sounds like a fun day with your youngest too. Sounds about typical regarding the research paper. Used to make me nuts. He still does stuff like that! He just got a warrant in the mail (I think, they never told me exactly) because he hadn't gone & finished all the paperwork at court or the police station or whatever. AAAARRRGGGHHHH He took care of it the next day but his excuse was that he thought his lawyer was going to take care of it. Seriously?!? You wouldn't make sure all that was taken care of?? Ok - off my soapbox.
I love the "filling your inner bucket." And that is so true. I'm glad that things are better with hubs. I know that there will always be peaks and valleys but things are better for us since I stopped drinking. I think that I stopped feeling guilty for speaking my mind. lol Glad to hear that you are thinking about your 'inner bucket'. Onward :love:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

I can't believe you got 20,000+ steps on fitbit. You & Pauly kick my ass. Sunshinedaisies is another one that is amazing.

Techie - hope you have good meetings in Vegas. I am anxious to hear your lab results and meeting with doctor. I certainly don't want to pry but know that I am sending you positive energy.
You my dear are a very special person and I am so grateful to know you. :hug:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Nursie - I need to drop over to the nest and catch up with you. You are such a positive source here. Thank you for that! I miss you!

Ne - how are you doing? I'm going back to try to find your last post and haven't found it yet. I am off to hunt.

Red - how are you? Haven't had you drop by in quite a while. You are missed.

Think I'm going to go slip into something more comfortable. Like my sweats. :rotlf:

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Good morning! My Nora, you gave me a lot to read! Loved reading about what's going on in your life! I had tears in my eyes reading about that homeless man. What a wonderful thing you did /do! I feel a funk coming on and I don't quite know how to deal with it. Perhaps just overwhelmed with stuff and feeling like I am falling short of my expectations.

Nora, I love using gel pens to color now. They just roll and it is so easy and soothing! I actually look forward to coloring at the end of my day. Hubby and Mark were laughing at me on the plane, as I kept dropping my pens and had to contort and twist and crawl to pick them up. CJ enjoys coloring as well and loves using my gel pens.

Going to lunch today for hubby's birthday, which was last week. We were away so we'll celebrate today. Erin and Dan are in Delaware for the weekend. Hs parents ave a beach house down there and Erin has her spring break this week. I'm a bit upset with CJ right now. The usual wedding stuff. They met with his priest last week and they still aren't sure how this will all pan out, meanwhile se still hasn't spoken to the pastor from our church. I really just want to run away alone, you know?
This afternoon CJ and I will paint the back drop for the baby shower. We are doing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star theme. Of course we went all out, as per usual. Perhaps I will post a photo as it comes together. So Erin's MIL will be bringing wine, to the shower and that is causing me aniexty as well.
Gee, I'm sorry guys, I'll be fine. Wishing you all a great AF Sunday!

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Hey all,Nora,that was a sad post by your friend yes alcohol is a killer,I know cuz I've felt the pain in every cell in my body during withdrawal! My ribs would hurt,my feet would burn from toxic sweat pouring out overnight, my hair would lay like dry straw limply depressed looking, my eyes would burn,man I could go on and on,not quite sure how I feel about the weed she talks about,Kell just got her card,mostly for pain management, I just hope we're all not setting ourselves up for a round of more addicts ya know? The few times I tried to smoke I hallucinated however I only tried it when I was already super drunk,it seems it would be pretty easy to find vegetarian Mexican food,rice,beans and veg wrapped up in a tortilla sounds good glad you enjoyed time with your nice,I know how much she means to you from reading your journal thread,Michelle and her creepy bf are supposed to be coming back sometime in May I think cuz he wants to work EDC,I told her he's not welcome here and I hope there's no drama! Bobbi got a part-time job as a bartender at a fancy country club in Portland, I can't believe sweet little LB is a bartender, it just doesn't fit,I could see Michelle doing it maybe but Bobbi? I was surprised, been quiet here lately so I guess I've rambled,off to dangle breakfast gotta hubs much love to ALL,I hope everyone enjoys their AF Sunday

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

X-post Liz,you probably have the "after vacay letdown" I ALWAYS have a low after something super fun,how's Erin feeling? I love a Twinkle little star theme everyone was surprised that I didn't have beers at Lou's baby shower but that's when I was first trying to get sober and had one of my first 35+ days,I didn't want to eff it up(wish I had kept that streak going) keep your head up,love you lots
P.S to all,spell check screwed with my last post but you get what I'm saying.. I hope haha

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

:rotlf: I obviously turned my computer on last night. You can't shut me up when I have a regular keyboard.

I apologize that I left in the part about pot in the post from my friend. I had meant to take that out. I do think that it can lead to another addiction. That is something that I think about because I do use it and I obviously have addiction issues.
I had only planned on posting the part where he talked about Mike and Mike's death. Charlie had never told me that Mike drank himself to death. I thought it was the HIV drugs that had destroyed his liver. :sad:

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Nora,you don't have to apologize for the post,its just one of the debates I've read about, all my kids smoke (except Brady I hope) I'd rather have them doing that than drinking any day! Of course I'd rather have them doing nothing but at least they're not tearing their insides up with alcohell ya know? Love you

[SKendall]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

I drove today :yay: Just to the drugstore, but it went better than I thought, I think my knee was worse today. I also stopped by a new donut place that's new, I wanted the crème brulee but they had sold out. I got the carrot cake with a creamy filling. I read a person's story this morning about giving up sugar, so that tinged my sugar high, lol.

I was reading the post op instructions again and the instructions contradicted each other so went to the website for superion (the gizmo that's in my back and it indicated you could return to whatever function level you were comfortable with and I was all over that! Still can't twist, bend, play tennis or have sex, lol !

Peggy is still at my daughters. We are expecting thunderstorms the next 2 days so I asked Andrea to bring her over. (She lives about 2 miles away). I haven't heard back so I think she is running the marathon that was rained out last week. For the first few days I checked for her every time I got up during the night and my bedroom looks out to the green space where the dogs are walked so I would love to see her little tail wagging. Maybe she'll call later,Andrea, not Peggy! Peggy wants to be outside a lot, because that's what we did, so I will have to back off on the walks.

Liz, it's spring, no time to be sad, although change of seasons does affect lots of people.

Nora, sounds as if you are having a great day giving of yourself again. I hope the homeless man satisfied his hunger, that was a compelling letter regarding your cousin's partner's letter and it just resonates.

Vivian did enjoy her strawberry pop!

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Hey guys, I sat outdoors in my backyard and took Lucy for a walk with the kids. You're right Skendall, spring is no time to be sad and being outdoors totally lifted my spirits

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

SK - :yay: you drove!! You are sounding better - DON'T OVERDO!! :love:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - April 2017

Liz - I'm so glad that your spirits were lifted. I sat outside too and it was wonderful. I'll have to try gel pens, they don't bleed?

SK - hope you enjoyed your carrot cake. Yummy!

Pauly - what are your big plans for the day? I took an almost two hour nap! I couldn't believe it.