One Step at a Time - May 2017

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Rusty - glad that you had a good day. Those are special.

Techie & Cowboy - thanks for the Mother Day wishes

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

I have sat down several times and started to try to write but just don't have the words. I wish that I could remember what helped me get thru the days when I was ready to give up. I would take antabuse when I was going to be in a situation where I might get uncomfortable. I cried. I did everything except drink. I don't know - I can't remember. I just know that it is not an option for me. I think that I knew it was my last chance at life. It truly was. I had given up & I knew I was going to die. I couldn't stop. Shaking so bad in the mornings that I couldn't sit & have breakfast with hubby. He might notice the shakes. All the games that I played in my head thinking I was hiding it.
But, after that last night - it was like a switch had been turned off. I know that if I ever turn it on again, even for one little taste that I won't be able to turn it off again. I don't ever want to risk it.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

UGH! Just lost a long post! I admire your courage and honesty here, Nora. Did you see Mr.G post that Antabuse has been recalled in Australia and he had to order it online? Good for him for making that brave move.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

No, I didn't see that. But, I'm glad he got some. Certainly helped me get thru a couple of situations.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Just lost a long post too!!! Ugh!
Happy Mothers Day to all the moms. We had a brunch at church today. Kids were all there, as were mom and dad. Dad was ok today, so happy to see all s grandkids and talk to them. Mom said it's his favorite thing to talk about. Mom drove today and dad told me she thinks I'm losing my mind, then he said, maybe I am. I didn't know what to say. It made me so sad. My sisters and I will get together and figure this out somehow. My oldest sister is a nurse, that's a good thing now, I'm thinking.
The rest of my day was quiet. I walked, planted more geraniums and CJ and I did more wedding stuff.

Headed back to the blankie fort for tonight. Sweet dreams

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Liz - been thinking about you a lot. Hard I know.The Doctor probably wants to eliminate other causes. Like I said, there are minor issues that affect the elderly differently. It could even be from the COPD. Is he on oxygen? :hug:
Regarding Mom, her short term memory is gone. She used to have better long term memory but even that is not as clear anymore. But, she will still ask about calling her parents, etc.
Your mom is probably already doing this but she should make sure the car keys are not where he can get them. Luckily Mom has only tried to leave the house once. She would have no idea where she lived and might not know her name. Does you Dad ever have to drive somewhere alone?
I know this is hard. :hug:

Thank you Nora. I'm just so sad and scared. Dad has recently been to his GP and his O2 saturation is just fine. No he is not on oxygen . Dad does sometimes drive alone, but last week he couldn't remember how to get to a clients house and he let mom take him. He was angry other times she drove, but not this time.

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Techie I’m so proud of you for doing everything you can to be as healthy as you can. That surely must have a massive impact on your prognosis. :welldone:

A belated Mother’s Day greeting from me too. For anyone who is a mother, has a mother, or who fulfils that role in someone’s life.
I had two MD celebrations – lunch with the parents/ sister/nephew, and dinner with the kids and grandbabe. It was a full on day! And I'm babysitting again on Friday (which makes me very proud. I obviously did OK the last couple of times) :smile:

You know that part of her where you can run to mommy and she'll make everything better?

Ummm...actually no, I don't. My mother was never really that sort. But I guess I learned how to makes things better by myself instead so that's OK.

You are so sweet looking after your mother the way you do. And I’m so glad you have kept your resolve and truly understand why you are remaining AF. :hug:

Liz I’m so sorry about your Dad. My Dad is 83 and despite the fact that in the last 10 years he’s gained 3 Masters degrees and published a book, I’ve noticed he’s starting to lose words and it’s really frustrating him.

Pauly – please, please, please don’t ever feel we’re judging you and you can’t come back here. I don’t care if you stuff up a million times (well of course I do for your sake, but you know what I mean). I know some people may look at things differently but I don’t see Day Ones, I just see how many days AF you have now compared to how many you had before. And you are building them up every day you don't drink and you have hundreds of them under your belt by now.:hug:

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Morning friends,Glassy,thanks for that I guess I wasn't so worried about being judged,just sick of coming back posting that I chose to drink those days yet again,I've been here for nearly 5 years!!! I've had quit dates with just about everyone on the boards,hell I remember when Pav and Ava quit,NS quit,Cowboy quit,etc,etc! And here I am still dicken around in the early days again and again, I'm really sick of it when I was drinking hubs asked why I couldn't wait til 7 or 8 a few times a week and have a "nightcap" I told him cuz I dont want it then,when I drink its usually cuz I'm pissed off and I want a "daycap" he just doesn't understand, I think I'm gonna open my personal thread again so I can write this stuff down and it dont get lost in the shuffle,wishes for a great AF Monday with no "itis" right Techie? Love you all

[abcowboy]

Pauly, don’t compare yourself to others, that’s a sure-fire way to let depression creep in. Don’t be jealous of others, or resent them for their quits. It isn’t about me, or them, it’s about you. You have your own problems and reasons/excuses to drink just as you have your own thoughts on why you need to quit. The only reason you’ve been a member longer than me is because you found MWO sooner than I did! I think you and I are about the same, I think I spent about 5 years trying and failing before I got it right, so that would make it about 7 years for me now. And I’ll bet most everyone else went through the same.

So forget about everyone else, don’t try to “measure up” to anyone else’s quits. This is only about you, this is only about your quit. Don’t compare, just do what you need to do to get through today sober, don’t worry about anyone else, and don’t worry about tomorrow….

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

I know some people may look at things differently but I don’t see Day Ones, I just see how many days AF you have now compared to how many you had before. And you are building them up every day you don't drink and you have hundreds of them under your belt by now.

Lot's of good stuff on here lately. I need to hear it, thank you all. (Although, Techie, I'm not sure about putting oil in my coffee, ha ha!!)

I had a good mothers day. Played with the worship band in the morning and then hosted lunch here with my parents, brother and sister-in-law. My brother grilled and my dad cleaned up. The boys got me such beautiful cards, they made me cry. I wish I could be a better (AF) mother for them. Sigh. Today is another day.

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

No,I know Cowboy, I was just using examples of peeps who came along after me who quit and stayed quit,I don't resent anybody, just irritated with myself for still going through this after all this time,its annoying

[abcowboy]

I guess I read more into it than you intended Pauly, but it's moot anyway, this is going to be your quit that sticks!

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Just a quick drop in before I head off to bed. Ann called in sick for tomorrow, she has post nasal drip! Seriously? That likely means she'll get a doctors note and be out the rest of the week! Tomorrow is hubby and my 35th wedding anniversary. I was going to take the day off, but decided not to. Now I'm stuck doing 10 hours. Got into a bit of an argument with CJ tonight. Two of her bridesmaids have not yet gotten measured for the bridesmaids dresses. I have asked CJ for over a month if she is going to call these girls. All of the dresses need to be ordered at the same time because of the dye lot. It takes at least 8 weeks to order them, then they still need to be altered. The wedding is four months away. They don't know where they're going to live, haven't looked at tuxs, flowers, invitations or limos yet! CJ and joe decided to invite the bridal party to a house in PA they will rent for Labor Day weekend. THAT they can plan. I seriously flipped out. Hubby and son are worried I'll go drink and are making me feel like I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is. Just been weepy all night. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent here.
Hope you're all doing ok.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Blankie Fort is up, Liz.
And I don't blame you for getting upset.

[actiongirl46]

Re: One Step at a Time - May 2017

Geez Liz, I would freak too. They don't know what they don't know. How frustrating, just get r done.

I am not planning a wedding, but my oldest needs to get two merit badges done and then complete the process for his Eagle for Boy Scouts. Honestly, the steps are so clear! Just do it! But no, he has many excuses and reasons why he can't follow through on that. Hmm . . . he is only 16 so I had him do a written plan tonight.

Hope you are all well! I'm going in the blankie fort too. So much going on!