Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Try finding a phillips screwdriver

I'll have a look for you, bound to be one in the garage.....its so messy in there I'll prolly find the lost city of Atlantis and Lord Lucan while I'm on.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Evening Army - hope all are well.
Just in from 10 hour shift in the workhouse.

All mad as brushes
But seriously - it is really scary to see so many folk in one place that are only shadows of who they once were.
Makes me so sad.
Were we meant as humans to live to 90 to end up sitting in a chair all day ? Be on a conveyor belt of toilet / food/ bed ? Having all our basic needs done for us ...... ?
Not even know where we are .... ?
Answers on a postcard

Oh God - I hope I do not get to that point. :egad:

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

I'll have a look for you, bound to be one in the garage.....its so messy in there I'll prolly find the lost city of Atlantis and Lord Lucan while I'm on.

or Shergar :haha:

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Evening Army - hope all are well.
Just in from 10 hour shift in the workhouse.

All mad as brushes
But seriously - it is really scary to see so many folk in one place that are only shadows of who they once were.
Makes me so sad.
Were we meant as humans to live to 90 to end up sitting in a chair all day ? Be on a conveyor belt of toilet / food/ bed ? Having all our basic needs done for us ...... ?
Not even know where we are .... ?
Answers on a postcard

Oh God - I hope I do not get to that point. :egad:

Always felt that once I had vaguely still got my wits about me that I could enjoy reading i could live with old age physical shortcomings I'd be grand but if I couldn't read???? Jesus beam me up!

[IamMary]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Evening.
Home from family gig. Youngest vomiting.. lovely 😊 The house we were in, they are fairly big drinkers. It's interesting to watch now, the constant offers/insistence of drink (not to me, they're grand about that, curious, but fine)..

Very sad to watch Satz. But I have known a few in their 90s too that we're going strong.

Bed, before I'm summoned again.....

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Morning all,
Interesting subject as I'm off to the nursing home to see my Aunt with dementia. This lady was a head teacher, gay, funny, fabulolus artist and the best cook in the world. Ashamed to say this will be my first visit as I am dreading it.My Mum had dementia and it scares the wits out of me. If it ever happens to me.........I'd rather be put down gently like a dog.
Sorry to be so serious this morning but my heart is in my mouth and my nerves are jangling.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Morning all, our fears are more often than not far worse than the reality in my experience, you will be grand JC.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Morning all,
Interesting subject as I'm off to the nursing home to see my Aunt with dementia. This lady was a head teacher, gay, funny, fabulolus artist and the best cook in the world. Ashamed to say this will be my first visit as I am dreading it.My Mum had dementia and it scares the wits out of me. If it ever happens to me.........I'd rather be put down gently like a dog.
Sorry to be so serious this morning but my heart is in my mouth and my nerves are jangling.

I understand how you feel 100% Jackie -- I was once told that someone with dementia only truly understands one sentiment - and that's kindness.. so.. you're full of that xx

Morning all, our fears are more often than not far worse than the reality in my experience, you will be grand JC.

that's true too Tabbers - and funny -- when you experience things it makes you better at dealing with stuff - like after my mum died I became better at dealing with people who have had a bereavement and similarly - people who've been through mental illness crises - I'm great at that cos I've been there - both with depression and addiction which imo is very linked to mental illness..

Anyways -- how's everyone? got up to watch the Ashes and those FECKERS (see how polite I've become in my old age!!??) have encrypted my dodgybox --- BASTARDS......

[rustop59]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Morning all, our fears are more often than not far worse than the reality in my experience, you will be grand JC.

I agree JC and with what Molly says about kindness. I value and appreciate genuine kindness more and more as I become older. Has to be genuine though, can’t abide too sweet to be wholesome brigade, all about making them look good.

On a happier note, I’m off to make up beds, both my girls home tomorrow for the holidays.

[mollyka]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

I agree JC and with what Molly says about kindness. I value and appreciate genuine kindness more and more as I become older. Has to be genuine though, can’t abide too sweet to be wholesome brigade, all about making them look good.

On a happier note, I’m off to make up beds, both my girls home tomorrow for the holidays.

OH crikey I agree!! can't BEAR that fake 'kindness' - worked with some of them in the past and it's very very hard to deal with - cos lots of folks don't see through them (I can spot them at a million paces!) and think they are LOVELY -- just NO --- haha -- that's one of my hobby horses!!!
Jilly has taken over every bedroom in the house so no spare room ready for Adam for Christmas - well SHE can do it... certain amount of 'oh I've a small baby so I can't do anything' is creeping in -- always remember a pal of mine talking about his adult son coming back home to live and how he 'turned back into a teenager half way up the stairs' -- yup --- so true!!!

[Jude58]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Morning all,
Interesting subject as I'm off to the nursing home to see my Aunt with dementia. This lady was a head teacher, gay, funny, fabulolus artist and the best cook in the world. Ashamed to say this will be my first visit as I am dreading it.My Mum had dementia and it scares the wits out of me. If it ever happens to me.........I'd rather be put down gently like a dog.
Sorry to be so serious this morning but my heart is in my mouth and my nerves are jangling.

Morning JC....I work with people with dementia and Alzheimer's everyday. One person with dementia is often very different than another with the same disease. I've seen someone who once hated dogs, but now they love them! Go figure... I always try to put myself behind their eyes and see the world as they do. They are still people with feelings just like anyone else, and the more relaxed you are around your Aunt, the better for everyone. Just remember to be patient if she asks you the same question 10 times, or maybe just talks nonsense. (at least to you it may be, but not to her) Don't say remember when?.....because she won't. I've learned to never argue with someone with dementia....your won't win, you'll only agitate them. Instead try to redirect the conversation, it's amazing how well that can work. I once shared a post on FB about this subject and it summed it up in just a few short words, if I can find it I'll send it to you. People with dementia are not freaks, but human beings in a world that's different than the one they used to occupy. Many are happy, yet we pity them because most don't understand the disease, hence the fear of the unknown. Dementia is usually harder on the family member acting as a caregiver, they are aware of what was then and can't fathom the now. I think that if you learn as much as you can about the disease itself, you will find it easier to deal with your Aunt, and she will be happier as well. As has been said many times, knowledge is power, and it will help you deal with your fears about seeing your Aunt. Above all, keep a sense of humor! Folks with dementia can be absolutely hysterical....go with the flow, and remember that your aunt is still a human being with feelings just like anyone else. :happy2:

[NoSugar]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION], Thank you for your compassionate words. I'll keep them with me as I try to be present for my mom. I know my impatience is hurtful and what you wrote will help me. :hug: NS

[Jude58]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION], Thank you for your compassionate words. I'll keep them with me as I try to be present for my mom. I know my impatience is hurtful and what you wrote will help me. :hug: NS

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] My job can be very difficult, but it is also extremely rewarding. Read all you can about dementia; not just the scientific stuff, but how to be a caregiver to someone going through it. There is a book called "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey which you might find helpful in dealing with your Mom. You can probably borrow a copy from the library, and if you like it, you can buy one for yourself. If you ever have any questions, or need advice please feel free to pm me, I would be happy to help if I can. :hug:

[JackieClaire]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

Hello lovelies,
You're all very kind and I love you.
I've started this post a dozen times today and I'm still finding it hard to put into words how it went. It was hard, very hard at first but once we got going there was no stopping us.
My Aunt was in fine form............luckily she recognised me before I recognised her. She's as elegant and well dressed as she always was..............think I was expecting her to be shuffling around in an old dressing gown and slippers. The nursing home is like the Ritz and the staff love her.
She remembers loads of stuff from the past its the day to day things she forgets. We talked of her time as a teacher and headmistress. When she was much younger with her five sisters and two brothers (one of them was my Dad) I just followed her lead. She plays a lot of Scrabble with another lady, just pleased she didn't ask me to play..........its one of those games I can't play for love nor money.

Her room is beautiful and as full of art as possible she and her partner (Joan) made over their years . We talked of their years together and how happy they were.

I'll be going back, no doubt about it as long as she just wants to play cards............not scrabble

And to all of you thank you.

[satz123]

Re: Join the Army Against Alcohol-December 2017

[MENTION=24080]Jude58[/MENTION], Thank you for your compassionate words. I'll keep them with me as I try to be present for my mom. I know my impatience is hurtful and what you wrote will help me. :hug: NS

And me too - thanks Jude