One Step at a Time - June 2018

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hi all. How are things going? Bird - I saw that you started a journal. Good job. How are things going today?

Pauly - how are you doing? Did you work today?

Rusty - where are you this week?

Liz - are you home? Was it a wonderful trip?

Glassie - are you home from the hospital? I'm very worried about you. :hug:

I realized that I've spent about $700.00 for this baby shower!!!! That is crazy. This could have been used for the baby. Oh well, it's over & done with but gee whiz!
My brother is in town for his granddaughter's graduation from high school. He came over for a few hours to visit mom. It was a good visit. Mom has not been doing well. Has had a couple of bad episodes. Thought we were going to lose her on Saturday night. But, she is better again.
Work is crazy. Still having the audit. There was a 'major' finding today. Which is not good.
Oh well - as Stephen King said "Done bun can't be undone".

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hi guys and happy June! I did read back and there was some good stuff posted. I definitely needed to read all of it tonight!

GLassie, I'm so sorry you're in the hospital sick! Sending healing vibes your way. Hope you're already feeling better. Diverticulitis is no fun. Let us know how you're doing.
[MENTION=5628]Nora[/MENTION], how's mom doing? May I ask what an episode is? You seem much less stressed about work these days. The baby will be here before you know it! At this point I'm sure everyday feels like an eternity.
[MENTION=6149]Paul[/MENTION]y and [MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION] I know that vicious cycle all to well and I'm sorry that you're struggling so. But I am glad that there is discussion here about it. It's re enforced my feelings about not drinking, but it's hard sometimes.
[MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION] yiu are always so wise and kind. I was surprised that you still have those thoughts too. I'm sure you hair looks beautiful.

Our trip was busy, fun and fast. They have made a lot of progress on their house, but there is still much to do. Hubby would get up very early and work. It gets too hot midday to be doing the hard work. We would go sight see or just go to the beach in the afternoons. They really are happy there, go figure. CJ misses us, which surprised me that she admitted, but she is determined to give it island a fair chance. The pace down there is definitively slower and CJ and Joe fit right in. The island still shows a lot of signs of hurricane damage. It was so hard to leave and hubby too was so very emotional.
Mark picked us up from the airport and shared with us that my father is in the hospital. He fell early Friday morning trying to get back into bed after using the bathroom. He fractured his femur and somehow hit his ear. He had frostbite on his ears when he was a teen which I guess somehow effected them and now caused severe injury. He had 80 stitches to fix that. He had surgery on Saturday to put a rod and pins to support his femur. Hubby and I went to see him tonight. He was somewhat confused but did recognize us. I am just sick about this. Mom has been to the hospital this time. Sissys have been taking shifts staying with him for the better part of the day. I'll pick mom up tomorrow and take her and probably go back in the evening, so he's not alone too long. Physical therapy has started and is extremely painful. He is fairly comfortable, unless he moves.
Needless to say I have done my fair share of crying over the past few days and there have been drinking thoughts. I don't want to feel right now, but I also don't want to go back on that awful drinking cycle. My sisters are worried about, as is Mark. I can't drink, I need to be there for my parents now, they need us. I am hoping that dad will go to rehab right here by my house. I would want mom to sleep here and be with daddy as long as she wants then. We shall see, not sure when that will happen.
Well, way to make it all about me tonight! Thank you all for your conversations to each other while I was gone! I only hope you guys got as much out of it as I did.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Oh Liz - big, big hugs to you. :sad:
I am so sorry about your Dad. Poor thing.
I think it's perfectly natural reaction to think about drinking. That's how we have coped before. But, you are aware of it so you can be on guard. And, it's not always fun to have to actually 'feel' our feelings but it is so worth it.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Mom has had a couple of times where she starts breathing hard/fast. Can't communicate where/what is hurting. The one on Saturday night lasted for over an hour. But, we managed without calling 911. As long as we can keep her comfortable, we are not going to call 911.

[bird]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hi all,
Lizann, good to hear about your trip. Glad it went well. And it is good to be missed huh? I hope my kids miss me when they are away from me. So sorry about your father. 80 stitches, whew!......Nora, good lord, that must be terrifying! And having crazy work at the same time. Well, bet the shower will be wonderful though!..sending out good vibes friend...Glassie, how are you doing?....good day yest...took dd1 driving. Renewed my state park pass. Sold the last refrigerator, and the lady is gonna buy some more stuff. Took the kids to walmart ..so my landlord is drinking himself into the hole. I hate to see it happen. He says if he drinks himself to death it is gods will. I can imagine the turmoil he is in. I have never been that far down, but am sure if I did not have kids, that it may have come to that....well, off to start my day soon...have a great day all...b

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Morning. I overslept. osteroops:
Have a great day.

Liz - Let us know how things are going today. Give mom and dad an extra hug from me.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hello - home from work. Sometimes I just wish for some peace & quiet. :hypnotysed: I get home & hubby hasn't talked to anyone all day (except mom). So, he's ready to just gab and I just want silence. :hahaha:

Liz - how is your Dad doing? I have been thinking of you all day. He must be in such pain. I do hope that they can move him to a rehab near you so your Mom can stay with you.

Bird - how are things going? Must seem a little overwhelming so much to do.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Ok - I had my few moments of peace & quiet. I feel better now.

I was thinking again today that I really wished I had kept a journal of this last quit. I think it would be so helpful right now. I know that it's not easy but it is so worth it.
I do know that I just grabbed on here and held on. I don't know how I would have done it without all of you holding on and giving me support. :heartbeat:

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Aww Nora, I feel the same way. I don't know where I'd be without you all. I am so very tired. Picked up mom early today and headed over to the hospital. He was confused today. We stayed for the better part of the day. My twin came and I took mom home, mom is so sweet with him. He has a sweet German nickname he has always called her. He used it today and thanked her. It was such a tender moment and I really felt the love. Oh, there I go crying again, it's just so hard. Anyway they are thinking to discharge to rehab tomorrow. They moved him out of the critical care unit. We were there for physical therapy and his pain is significantly less today. Big sissy was with him this evening. So thankful that we can take turns being with him.
Hubby and I went to another retirement seminar dinner tonight. I didn't want to go because I'm just so overwhelmed with everything. Met a lovely couple who coincidently are from the same down. We really hit it off and plan to get together again. Glad I went.
Nora, I wonder what that breathing thing with your mom is all about. Have you mentioned it to the doctor or even googled it?

Waves to everyone!!! Off to bed, I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Liz - I'm so glad to hear from you. Are they going to be able to move your dad to the rehab near you? I'm sure you are exhausted. Made me cry when you talked about your parents loving moment today. Get some rest. :hug:

Glassie - give a quick check in when you can. I'm really worried about you.

Rusty, Pauly, Techie - thinking of you all. Hope you all are doing ok.

Just wanted to give a big SHOUT OUT to everyone that reads here but doesn't post. :checkin: Everyone is welcome here - jump on in.

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hi friends
Thanks for your support and I’m sorry if I worried you. They let me out on Sunday night on the condition that I take strong antibiotics (which I have) and have total bed rest (oops! – one out of two ain’t bad). But I’m feeling a lot better. I started working from home today and will hopefully be back in the office tomorrow.

Nora – the shower sounds gorgeous! I can’t wait to see the pics. I’m so sorry about your Mom. That must be heartbreaking to witness.

And oh Liz - your poor father! That sounds awful. Does he understand what happened? I can’t believe how rapidly his condition has developed.

So in the spirit of being able to talk about drinking…here goes. I hope this doesn’t offend or upset anyone, but if it does let me know and I’ll crawl back under my rock.

Nora – you asked what people on the forum could do to help and I strongly believe that unfortunately the answer is - nothing. Apart from just being here to talk and listen of course, which is always very much appreciated. We all have to travel this journey our own way and everyone’s experience is so different. For me, for example, the comment you posted from Byrdlady doesn’t resonate at all. I don’t panic if drink is taken away, or think I have to drink it all in case there’s none later, although I totally understand how that could be the case. I’ve also never driven after drinking, or hidden alcohol in hairspray bottles (or anywhere else) and it actually frustrates me that some people on this site seem to insist that we all do, and if we say we don’t we’re either lying, or about to start, so there’s an all or nothing approach to treatment. That’s why I stick to the Steppers thread now and don’t even poke my nose into the threads those people frequent.

I’m not even sure if moderating is the right word for what I do. It’s more like what Pauly said the other day, I’ve “basically quit drinking the way we did back in the day”. But what worries me is that I do use alcohol in an unhealthy way. Too often it’s my “go to” when I’m tired, or depressed, or frustrated, or angry or …(fill in the blanks). I can easily go for 30 to 60 days without, but then get fed up with the slightest thing and end up buying a bottle of wine on the way home. And then I’ll keep having a few glasses after work each day until common sense kicks in and I stop again. It’s not good, or healthy, but it’s not bad enough to give me the kick in the pants I need either! So maybe you CAN help by giving me a good pants kicking!

Edit: I should add that those "few glasses" i mentioned might be BIG glasses!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hello all.

Glassie - I am stomping my feet at you!!!!! Why aren't you doing what the doctor says?!?!?

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

I hope you know I meant that in the most loving way, Glassie. :love:

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

Hello friends,Glassy,take the bed rest,,sounds good to me Liz,sounds like a great trip you had,I'm happy for you to see the kids like that,,I've been working like a workeraholic this week to make up for last week!! Busy,busy!! Today's my anniversary as some may have seen 28 years with hubs! I have not been al free this week Brady is going to Oregon for a month and I'm sad,my own issue but still its just gonna feel so dammed empty here,ugh,at least Lou and Romeo are here sometimes,much love to all!

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: One Step at a Time - June 2018

I hope you know I meant that in the most loving way, Glassie. :love:

Of course I do, darling. Tough love! :hug: :love:

If it helps at all, I've been working from home, not going into the office!