One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

[paulywogg]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Morning friends,Bird I totally get the being wound up feeling leading to drinking! Think that's what happened when I went to see my family,just try and walk it off,hope this house is the one Liz,just stick close when Mark leaves,its gonna be tough I know plus all of the sadness you're going through with your dad,I don't think I'd be handling it as well as you are tbh,I'm proud of you Nora,thanks for the pm,hey we can always chat on Snapchat too,just thought of that,waves to Rusty,Gladys,Bridget and Techie,wishes for a wonderful AF Wednesday

[Cinders]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

So - I have been thinking. It's such a scary thought, I know.

Do you all want to commit to each other for the rest of July that you will not drink? Then you can reevaluate August 1 and decide if you want to continue. Just trying to brainstorm and sometimes it just helps to know that you are in it with someone else. I know that I am about 2 weeks behind [MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION] so we cheered each other on and it helped.

I have not done well on the taking care of myself front so I am going to do that starting today. My excuse was that it was way too hot to do my yoga in the bedroom and it's hard to do it out here in the living room. I should have forced myself and I didn't. But, starting today, I will do better.

How is everyone else doing on the Healthy & Self-Caring? I would give everyone an A in self-caring for being here & posting.

Definitely in on staying sober for July.

Going to a family reunion this weekend. Lots of alcohol will be involved. Unfortunately, many of them simply do not understand the alcoholism issue. "Why can't you just have one or two?"

My brother will have my back, though.

I am going mostly because I have an aunt and uncle that will be there. They are 89 and he is the youngest of my daddy's family. I won't have many opportunities to see them. Once he is gone, that will be the last of the boys.

Self-care. Does babysitting at the drop of a hat count? It seems like I am just expected to watch the boys. Not that it is really an issue, they are easy, but sometimes I would like to have just "me time."

[Cinders]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Lizann

I was just weeping and wondering how the heck am I going to do all this sober?

I had a horrible time when my daughter was in detox and she hallucinated for two weeks straight. I was so afraid she would never get her mind back. I called my sponsor and asked if it would be okay to call my psychiatrist and ask for some anxiety meds. She reminded me that as alcoholics, we want the quick fix. Sometimes we just have to walk through hell. I did not get any anxiety meds, I did survive the experience and I have worked on "living life on life's terms" better and better.

btw, my daughter did get better. Although, she is surviving with only 12% of her liver functioning.

My husband, a non-drinker, reminds me that literally billions of people on this planet suffer horrible experiences and do not even consider drinking to get through it.

Anyway, I hope that helps a bit. You can get through your circumstances with your dad sober and at the end of the day, you will be so grateful you did. I spent my mom's last year or so of life drunk while she spiraled down with dementia. I was not there for her and I have to deal with that regret every day.

[stirly-girly]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Trying to let go of the "shoulds" I've made up over the years. I still do the "needs" but am trying to let myself do more of the "wants" - even when they are nonproductive or seem (to others) like a waste of time.

Hiya Steppers!!

[MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] - I spotted this and it is so true. We load ourselves down with the "shoulds" that many times are other people's opinions, not always our own. We do the "needs" because we have to and ignore the "wants" a lot of the time. Since I've gotten sober, I have literally turned my life around and I could never have done that while drinking. I recently left my husband after 43 years of marriage - about 30 of them on a scale from unfulfilling to downright unhappy. I moved into a sweet little apartment on my own and now I do what I "want" to do. Two years ago I took over the family business and together with my younger son, we have turned it around from barely making the expenses into a business that is really starting to flourish and has already made inroads into some of the big companies in Athens. Over the weekend, in spite of having a dodgy tummy for two days, I did something I have wanted to for years but couldn't get out of the blurry haze of AL to do it - I picked up my paint brushes again. I don't have a great talent by any means but I do love creating something on canvas. This is what being sober is about to me - letting the real me shine through after so many years of being buried. BTW - I will turn 66 in August. Just to show you that it's never too late to improve your life and even start over. Just get AL completely out of the picture and the possibilities are endless!!

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Loving these posts. Thank you all ...... please keep coming back. All your posts are so helpful.

I really am wanting to find something to numb myself lately. So all this talk really helps me remember why I'm doing this.

[NoSugar]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Yours is an inspiring story, [MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION]. How wonderful that you've found the peace and contentment just about all of us look for and some of us mistakenly thought we found in a bottle. And it is a mistake, at least for those of us here, to use that quick-and-easy, tried-but-untrue route to oblivion. I feel you, though, [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION]. When having a drink crosses my mind it is because I long to totally check out. [MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION], I am so sorry you are going through the hard changes with your dad (and in some ways, your son, too). You wonder how you can do it all sober and the only thing I know is that you will do it better that way than you would drunk or even just tipsy. You'll be part of the solution, not adding to the sadness and I bet you'll feel so good about yourself for having done that and for having been there with and for your mom, dad, and siblings. Sending your son off on his next big adventure without giving him worries about your drinking would be such a gift, too. Our kids shouldn't have to bear our burdens. You can do it :hug:.

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Hi friends
I have to rush to work but will reply properly tomorrow.

I'm def in for July - Day 12 here and I'm committed to at least 30. Hang in there my loves. xxxxxx

Love, Gladys nthego:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Well, there's Gladys! I was getting a little worried.

I love, love, love having everyone posting & committing. [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] - yes, even though I don't want to drink and have not been even close, I still have moments of wanting to escape. Last week I finally ended up going to bed at 7:00. Didn't want to think or deal with anything. And, sleeping was certainly a better option than drinking.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Liz - NS is so right. You will feel so good about yourself! Just grab on tight and hold on. :hug:
[MENTION=2977]Cinders[/MENTION] - Luckily, I haven't had to deal with anyone pushing alcohol at me. But, I don't get out much and the few family gatherings, it wasn't a big deal. Um, self-care means sometimes saying no to babysitting and taking care of YOU instead. LOL
[MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION] - thank you so much for your post. That is the way to take care of you. You sound so good & happy. :hug:
[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] did you want to talk about how you started up again? I don't want to pry but I'm always taking notes so I can protect my quit. Just ignore me if I'm being pushy. Or you can slap me upside the head and say mind your own business. a043.gif

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

My friend from work was so upset when she left today. I keep thinking that the reason I'm having so many problems at work is that it's me and something that I'm doing wrong (or everything that I'm doing wrong). But, it's not just me - people are so frustrated by my boss. Yesterday, I had about had it and today my friend is at that point. :sad: She is looking into if she can retire. Her husband passed away 10 years ago or so and she thinks she can start collecting his pension. She will move to Washington state.
It's just such a bad situation to not know from one moment to the next when something is going to blow up in your face. Enough about that. I am just coping as NS recommends - doing it to the best of my ability....this is just a job....not a career. I'll take my measly hourly wage and go home and leave the problems at work.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Gee - it's not even Friday and I'm talking your heads off. tenor.gif

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Cinders - how is your daughter doing? That sounds pretty bad only 12% liver function. How long ago was this - is she sober now too? How fantastic that you were able to be there for her.

[Cinders]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

Cinders - how is your daughter doing? That sounds pretty bad only 12% liver function. How long ago was this - is she sober now too? How fantastic that you were able to be there for her.

She is doing pretty well. She is working again, she has been sober over a year. I am hoping next check up will show improvement. She is on track for a transplant but that is a last resort.

Thank you for asking.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

My friend from work was so upset when she left today. I keep thinking that the reason I'm having so many problems at work is that it's me and something that I'm doing wrong (or everything that I'm doing wrong). But, it's not just me - people are so frustrated by my boss. Yesterday, I had about had it and today my friend is at that point. :sad: She is looking into if she can retire. Her husband passed away 10 years ago or so and she thinks she can start collecting his pension. She will move to Washington state.
It's just such a bad situation to not know from one moment to the next when something is going to blow up in your face. Enough about that. I am just coping as NS recommends - doing it to the best of my ability....this is just a job....not a career. I'll take my measly hourly wage and go home and leave the problems at work.

Stop blaming yourself for shite. Clearly the organisation is flawed. It's them!:victorious:

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: One Step at a Time - Dry (And Healthy, Self-Caring) July 2018

@byebyebridgetjones did you want to talk about how you started up again? I don't want to pry but I'm always taking notes so I can protect my quit. Just ignore me if I'm being pushy. Or you can slap me upside the head and say mind your own business. [ATTACH=CONFIG]4300[/ATTACH]

No more than happy. Will have to do it from home 'tonight' though. This office is anything but private:sad: