July Army Manoeuvres

[JackieClaire]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Make a corner of creativeness, I have my crochet and cross-stitching and a few books.........sit quiet for long enough and they'll forget you're there.

[JackieClaire]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

X-post.......Molls. I love my house and my mess........its mine. Outside is getting a bit too peoply for me.

[starty]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

enjoy the walk - thankfully Joe is happy to walk alone - but under the feet - yeah - very glad I go to work - even just being here I'm looking at the messy house.... just get me out of it!!! can't imagine sitting round here all day every day -- nightmare!!

Thats how I feel and why I worry about quitting or cutting back. I would be a feckin nightmare to live with if home all day I think

[starty]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

X-post.......Molls. I love my house and my mess........its mine. Outside is getting a bit too peoply for me.

I get that too. Too many people is way too hard for my liking. I need my solace. I guess its all about balance for me. A little stress probably does me more good than too little

[mollyka]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Thats how I feel and why I worry about quitting or cutting back. I would be a feckin nightmare to live with if home all day I think

oh yes I agree -- and also - I would worry about myself - I isolate enough as it is...

I get that too. Too many people is way too hard for my liking. I need my solace. I guess its all about balance for me. A little stress probably does me more good than too little

yes -- see above!! It's really important for me that I HAVE to incorporate people into my life - I've worked a long time with my colleagues and they know me for who I am and don't expect me to participate madly in social stuff - so I'm comfortable as I can be out in the world - but without a doubt if left alone I would be that aul biddy (sorry Jackie!! only talkin bout me!!!) so yeah - that's my balance.. then when I am home I don't mind having 'me' time

[starty]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

oh yes I agree -- and also - I would worry about myself - I isolate enough as it is...

yes -- see above!! It's really important for me that I HAVE to incorporate people into my life - I've worked a long time with my colleagues and they know me for who I am and don't expect me to participate madly in social stuff - so I'm comfortable as I can be out in the world - but without a doubt if left alone I would be that aul biddy (sorry Jackie!! only talkin bout me!!!) so yeah - that's my balance.. then when I am home I don't mind having 'me' time

Yes! I feel I have deserved my me time once I have done the work bit. I would worry about getting depressed and lonely otherwise. I still struggle with saying no as the co director puts a lot of pressure on to do stuff and I hate that. BUT I am getting a bit better at it but still find it hard and get myself into situations I would rather not at times.

[starty]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Tomorrow I am meeting 2 friends for a dogger walk. I dont mind that cos I have my dogs with me and we walk where there are very few people. Plus they are nice. But overall I have very few friends that I socialise with

[RunningCourage]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Morning troops.

Just back from long run in the hills - first half grand, bonnie views, stunning scenery.... then took a wrong turn and found myself on the A9 with still 7 miles of tarmac under my feet to grind away at and traffic drowning out any inkling of the sounds of nature. Grrrr. But I'm done now.

Dissertation awaits this arvo.

As for isolating - I do that. And, I fear, more and more. I hate to say it, but the isolating thing kinda began when I first gave up AL. Now I isolate whether I'm drinking/modding/off it. Thankfully my job is a social one - so I'm with people 8-10 hours a day... and I direct an am dram group near me which gets me out twice a week or so... and then there's the connections with Uni... but rarely do I do socials with them. Or do, then leave early.

I suppose what i find odd, or sad perhaps, is that when I was a lad - a teen, like, - I was the life and soul of parties. Or certainly would never miss an opportunity for a social. And this continued, by and large, throughout my 20s and early 30s. Indeed I hated being in any evening when I thought others were out...YET... there were times, too, when underneath I felt people didn't really want to see me that much. I was, and still am, unaware of the positives I bring to any social.

Perhaps many of us here are like that? The lack of self-esteem that may help propel our addictions with AL or other substances? We use/used AL not just to make social events easier, but either to feel better about ourselves, or avert the feelings of inadequacy we had about ourselves. Just thinking aloud...

Right quick squint on internet, lunch, work...

Laters -

[satz123]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Tomorrow I am meeting 2 friends for a dogger walk. I dont mind that cos I have my dogs with me and we walk where there are very few people. Plus they are nice. But overall I have very few friends that I socialise with

Same here.
I realised as I moved from job to job I leave the old & embrace the new. Not sure if that is good or bad ?
Because of shift and only being part-time I have made more 'friends' .... so see more people but less often.
I seem to get on with younger people better than my own age (e.g. the ol bitch on reception and one of the long term nurses - who hate each other and are bitter and twisted into an ol bags of bones.... :haha:

You've all the friends you need here Starts - don't need to see our ugly mugs to know we care:hug:

[JackieClaire]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Back from Aldi.......bit confusing now as its gone all new and shiny and you can't find anything...........bought my SIL a bottle of prosecco to go with her thank you card.....evil :happy2: grin.

I was in a rush before..........think what I was trying to say I enjoy being in my own company now..............I hated my self so much when I was drinking that I just didn't want to be around people...........it takes a long, long time in recovery to enjoy it. I can now choose my time and if I enjoy me time I'll enjoy your comany just knock on the back door the coffee's just above the kettle.

I looked around the gardens at the BBQ and realized our friends are people we have know 30 plus years....some even longer....in fact my little mate and me started infants together, we been in and out of eahc others lives for 55 years. :egad:

I'll be getting back to work the end of this week (couldn't be knocking around a cafe with what I had) and getting to meetings.

[satz123]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

As for isolating - I do that. And, I fear, more and more. I hate to say it, but the isolating thing kinda began when I first gave up AL. Now I isolate whether I'm drinking/modding/off it. Thankfully my job is a social one - so I'm with people 8-10 hours a day... and I direct an am dram group near me which gets me out twice a week or so... and then there's the connections with Uni... but rarely do I do socials with them. Or do, then leave early.

Jesus D'Arsey thats a lot of social interaction.
If you wanted to add more - could you join a running club? Or are you already in one of them too ?

I suppose what i find odd, or sad perhaps, is that when I was a lad - a teen, like, - I was the life and soul of parties. Or certainly would never miss an opportunity for a social. And this continued, by and large, throughout my 20s and early 30s. Indeed I hated being in any evening when I thought others were out...YET... there were times, too, when underneath I felt people didn't really want to see me that much. I was, and still am, unaware of the positives I bring to any social.

Give over - you are bright, funny and can hold a conversation about anything and with any age - that is a wonderful quality. You may not be a 'lad' any more but that's called getting your shit together and being a grown up. Comes to us all

Perhaps many of us here are like that? The lack of self-esteem that may help propel our addictions with AL or other substances? We use/used AL not just to make social events easier, but either to feel better about ourselves, or avert the feelings of inadequacy we had about ourselves. Just thinking aloud...

Yes I believe that is at the heart of it.

[satz123]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Back from Aldi.......bit confusing now as its gone all new and shiny and you can't find anything...........bought my SIL a bottle of prosecco to go with her thank you card.....evil :happy2: grin.

We just got a shiny Aldi down the road - might give it a go in the afternoon.

think what I was trying to say I enjoy being in my own company now..............I hated my self so much when I was drinking that I just didn't want to be around people...........it takes a long, long time in recovery to enjoy it. I can now choose my time .

Love that Jacks
I love my own company - and make no apologies for it. And I think that is partly why I work - then my downtime is MINE...

Mr S is always buzzing around and going to something / somewhere and I'll go with him when it's something I like.
I'd dread to think if he wasn't here - I'd probably go nowhere - just work :haha:

[mollyka]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

Yes! I feel I have deserved my me time once I have done the work bit. I would worry about getting depressed and lonely otherwise. I still struggle with saying no as the co director puts a lot of pressure on to do stuff and I hate that. BUT I am getting a bit better at it but still find it hard and get myself into situations I would rather not at times.

Well NOW -- another 'point of discussion' maybe??? Since I hit my middle to later 50's I suddenly found how to say 'no' -- what helps me I reckon is that one of my pals at work is very opinionated and a few years older than me - so when I see Nuala saying 'no' to nonsense the big bosses want us to do - I happily row in behind her ;-) definitely an advantage of getting older - add into that - I don't want promotion - watch them all leaping over each other to impress and I can just sit back and smile

Tomorrow I am meeting 2 friends for a dogger walk. I dont mind that cos I have my dogs with me and we walk where there are very few people. Plus they are nice. But overall I have very few friends that I socialise with

I have feck all friends - they dumped me or I dumped them when I quit drinking

Morning troops.

Just back from long run in the hills - first half grand, bonnie views, stunning scenery.... then took a wrong turn and found myself on the A9 with still 7 miles of tarmac under my feet to grind away at and traffic drowning out any inkling of the sounds of nature. Grrrr. But I'm done now.

Dissertation awaits this arvo.

As for isolating - I do that. And, I fear, more and more. I hate to say it, but the isolating thing kinda began when I first gave up AL. Now I isolate whether I'm drinking/modding/off it. Thankfully my job is a social one - so I'm with people 8-10 hours a day... and I direct an am dram group near me which gets me out twice a week or so... and then there's the connections with Uni... but rarely do I do socials with them. Or do, then leave early.

I suppose what i find odd, or sad perhaps, is that when I was a lad - a teen, like, - I was the life and soul of parties. Or certainly would never miss an opportunity for a social. And this continued, by and large, throughout my 20s and early 30s. Indeed I hated being in any evening when I thought others were out...YET... there were times, too, when underneath I felt people didn't really want to see me that much. I was, and still am, unaware of the positives I bring to any social.

Perhaps many of us here are like that? The lack of self-esteem that may help propel our addictions with AL or other substances? We use/used AL not just to make social events easier, but either to feel better about ourselves, or avert the feelings of inadequacy we had about ourselves. Just thinking aloud...

Right quick squint on internet, lunch, work...

Laters -

Do you feel pressure to meet a partner|? |I know my eldest does - specially since the younger ones settled down with babies and things? Never let anyone make you feel like that - if they do?

Same here.
I realised as I moved from job to job I leave the old & embrace the new. Not sure if that is good or bad ?
Because of shift and only being part-time I have made more 'friends' .... so see more people but less often.
I seem to get on with younger people better than my own age (e.g. the ol bitch on reception and one of the long term nurses - who hate each other and are bitter and twisted into an ol bags of bones.... :haha:

You've all the friends you need here Starts - don't need to see our ugly mugs to know we care:hug:

Can never understand hanging onto mates from like 30 years ago and the only thing you have in common are workmates you haven't seen for decades.....

[mollyka]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

We just got a shiny Aldi down the road - might give it a go in the afternoon.



Love that Jacks
I love my own company - and make no apologies for it. And I think that is partly why I work - then my downtime is MINE...

Absolutely -that's what I was trying to say - I deserve my 'me' time - yeah - that's it...

[JackieClaire]

Re: July Army Manoeuvres

They've got some cracking stuff. Veg is always lovely and their strawberries don't go off in the car coming home...........and their flowers are dirt cheat.......you could buy that many that Mr S will think you've a another man.