August Army Manoevres

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Been out for a walk/run and feel better for it mainly because I can think my own thoughts while on my own.
Still angry with myself regarding the drinking and worried that it took me so long to get sober all those years ago that I will give in again. As I sit here typing I imagine that it would be impossible to even contemplate a drink. I still have the toolbox that Mario posted written somewhere.
Off for a shower and wash my sweaty hair!

'Fall down seven times, get up eight'
Ok well that's enough of my bollocks tonight.
Night all and I really, really do appreciate you all xxx

[IamMary]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Night bridge.
en route to our family get together. My folks have a big wedding anniversary so we are all gathering in a posh house for the weekend.
This is the first one of these I’ll be doing sober! I’m not the only non drinker, and that helps.
Can’t write, phone too small and I think I need to bite the bullet and get reading glasses. Hope this blur reads better that it looks.

[abcowboy]

is there a thought that so many threads could in some way combine our wisdom a bit???!!

Good point Molly, and [MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] brought up another good point about time zones. I think that's another reason members and threads have slipped away, a thread such as the "undies" didn't have enough members to keep it going, and rather than join in with another thread, the members just left. Time zones should only be a factor in a couple of instances, when people need help or someone to talk to right away, or when using the chatbox. Other than that, people should feel comfortable posting on any thread because we expect people will read back through the posts we missed. That's kind of one of the reason's I use the @ function so much, to let people know I've read back and also because I think it's important to let someone know when you mention them on a thread they normally don't post on.

I've been thinking of an idea of a "global thread" for everyone to post on, but with a bit of a twist....I'll have to ponder a bit more on it in my scrambled up brain to make sure it comes across right...and I'm not quite sure which forum it should go under yet..

[satz123]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Used to be 'babies' and 'high babies' for the first two classes - obviously became politically incorrect..... yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwn……………… now they are jnr infants and snr. infants...……………….ffs!

:hahaha:
that made me laugh out loud Molls !
Yep : 'low babies' & 'high babies' - sounds very odd now,
or maybe that was just us calling it that :haha:

[satz123]

Re: August Army Manoevres

I've been thinking of an idea of a "global thread" for everyone to post on, but with a bit of a twist....I'll have to ponder a bit more on it in my scrambled up brain to make sure it comes across right...and I'm not quite sure which forum it should go under yet..

[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION] we await the United Nations of MWO .......

[abcowboy]

Satz, if you were closer I'd give you a real life hug, but this will have to do! :hug:

I was going to steal a thread name from SoberRecovery; P.O.S.T! (Power of Sobriety Thread), but I love your idea, United Nations of MWO!

[RunningCourage]

Re: August Army Manoevres

[QUOTE=byebyebridgetjones;1749385]

Evening all


Bridget - think I've been guilty of 'forgetting ' about my troubles in past with the demon drink. Oftentimes I genuinely wasn't even thinking about it, it wasn't an option. As you say though it can pick moments of weakness/vulnerability to strike. Lately it has been on my mind quite a lot. Not sure if it's cause the new colleagues seem to refer to getting home to one or two on a daily basis, but think that has something to do with it. Then the wanting to escape from other shite going on also relevant. Hope you're hanging in there x

agreed.

I also think, or wonder, if it can strike AFTER shit has happened. dunno... but when i started to have a drink again at the end of 2013 after 10months sober (my longest ever stint before the age of 16 :egad i'd been made redundant, applying for different jobs again - and not getting what i thought i wanted, and there was the stresses of my wee bro getting married - and maybe i felt, way deep down, a bit of a failure on the romantic front as was single (still am - PM me if any single lassies out there :haha... and having to move back to my folks for a short while, and tho i had been made redundant a couple of months previous and I'd known about/been working on my bro's wedding for several months etc... something gave in. ... It wasn't deluge of drink suddenly being drunk. It was a half glass of wine - almost a communion sup! - and nothing for days, and for the proceeding year i'd often not even drink the recommended weekly amount... but 5 years on and it's crept up, gradually, gradually... I had found my comfort blanket again. Like Linus I couldn't let it go.

Draw-Linus-Van-Pelt-Step-7.jpg

[satz123]

Re: August Army Manoevres

[QUOTE=RunningCourage;1749407]

It wasn't deluge of drink suddenly being drunk. It was a half glass of wine - almost a communion sup! - and nothing for days, and for the proceeding year i'd often not even drink the recommended weekly amount... but 5 years on and it's crept up, gradually, gradually... I had found my comfort blanket again. Like Linus I couldn't let it go.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]4360[/ATTACH]

Ah poor wee D'Arsey - commere :hug:
Now we all know how mangey and manky the comfort blanket is ? It's threadbare and does nothing at all for you. In fact it's an attachment to something that makes no sense when looked at as a grown up. It gets in the way of relationships too - who wants to be with someone when theres a manky yoke between them
Get rid of it before you catch something horrible & die !!

[sweetpea29]

Re: August Army Manoevr

[QUOTE=RunningCourage;1749407]

agreed.

I also think, or wonder, if it can strike AFTER shit has happened. dunno... but when i started to have a drink again at the end of 2013 after 10months sober (my longest ever stint before the age of 16 :egad i'd been made redundant, applying for different jobs again - and not getting what i thought i wanted, and there was the stresses of my wee bro getting married - and maybe i felt, way deep down, a bit of a failure on the romantic front as was single (still am - PM me if any single lassies out there :haha... and having to move back to my folks for a short while, and tho i had been made redundant a couple of months previous and I'd known about/been working on my bro's wedding for several months etc... something gave in. ... It wasn't deluge of drink suddenly being drunk. It was a half glass of wine - almost a communion sup! - and nothing for days, and for the proceeding year i'd often not even drink the recommended weekly amount... but 5 years on and it's crept up, gradually, gradually... I had found my comfort blanket again. Like Linus I couldn't let it go.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]4360[/ATTACH]

Ya know D'Arsey, pondering on it all reckon it can strike anytime. That's the nature of the beast I suppose.

We can sometimes get through the toughest of emotional shit and not even consider drinking as an option. It doesn't enter our heids. Then in the most mundane of moments such as, sitting in the office with colleagues and hear them discuss what they can't wait to get home to imbibe,the thought occurs to us (well me in this case!) what about me? What should I imbibe when I get home? Why can't I have a wee glass? Or moments of elation/celebration/relief- the go-to thing is a drink.

Complacency is a factor,forgetting that this 'disease' is life-long, forgetting we even have the poxy disease (speaking bout myself here now)
Sometimes too it would be very easy and tempting to say well fuck it, I know this isn't good, I know where it's gonna lead, but do I give a shit? Who's it gonna hurt only ourselves?
To escape from that which is causing our grief, our inner turmoil. Your comfort blanket, my cocoon. Yeah, it is tempting....but play it through to the end.....

Apologies folks for the ramblings.... Need some grub!

Hiya to all😊 Good to see so many here

[mollyka]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Evening folks! -- Well re. the last point Peapie makes about being tempted and the f*&k its -- I still scroll through possible scenarios occasionally as to what or when could tempt me to drink - you know the usuals - death - rows - fall outs - illness's etc etc. and asking myself with ruthless honesty could I see any of those scenarios making me say f*&k it and have a drink -- I can't at the moment - but if the moment comes I'll be back to AA in the blink of an eye... but that's just me.... when I genuinely can have total recall of those days - not the good times - there were loads of them -- the 3am's - the anxiety - the hiding and sneaking - the total lack of self respect - the dishonesty of my whole life -- nah - nothing will let me go there --- TODAY

[sweetpea29]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Evening folks! -- Well re. the last point Peapie makes about being tempted and the f*&k its -- I still scroll through possible scenarios occasionally as to what or when could tempt me to drink - you know the usuals - death - rows - fall outs - illness's etc etc. and asking myself with ruthless honesty could I see any of those scenarios making me say f*&k it and have a drink -- I can't at the moment - but if the moment comes I'll be back to AA in the blink of an eye... but that's just me.... when I genuinely can have total recall of those days - not the good times - there were loads of them -- the 3am's - the anxiety - the hiding and sneaking - the total lack of self respect - the dishonesty of my whole life -- nah - nothing will let me go there --- TODAY

Here's the thing Molly it may not be any of the 'biggies ' that lead to f#*k it moment. That's what scares me.

Can say thankfully not gonna go there TODAY either!

[mollyka]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Here's the thing Molly it may not be any of the 'biggies ' that lead to f#*k it moment. That's what scares me.

Can say thankfully not gonna go there TODAY either!

But do you not think its Russian roulette if you aren't as cushioned against those moments as possible? You know the cliche - fail to prepare - prepare to fail?

[starty]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Hi all, sorry been quiet been feeling a bit meh lately

Totally agree with the fail to prepare. That has been me so many times. Iceland I think was trapped desperation

[brit]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Excellent posts everyone, real food for thought. Scared of getting the drinking thoughts but it is still fresh in my head how crap I felt about myself. Feeling very positive this evening.
Starty sorry you are feeling bad today. I also went to Iceland this summer Just as Mr A started to be ill.

[starty]

Re: August Army Manoevres

Excellent posts everyone, real food for thought. Scared of getting the drinking thoughts but it is still fresh in my head how crap I felt about myself. Feeling very positive this evening.
Starty sorry you are feeling bad today. I also went to Iceland this summer Just as Mr A started to be ill.

Sorry, I really shouldnt moan when you are going through so much. I did not realise his diagnosis was so recent. You must still be in shock?

How did you find Iceland? I thought it was a beautiful country. Just the accomodation we stayed in was a bit awful