September Army!!!

[rustop59]

Re: September Army!!!

Good morning everyone. Great conversations going last night. I guess like everything the site has evolved and changed over the years. Cowboy is right we are getting very few new members and could be for any number of reasons.

For me personally this is my only support. I log on every day to check in and I guess keep myself accountable. I know I gain a lot when I read about relapse stories and I would like to think I could reach out if I was struggling. Sometimes itÂ’s a quick wave on the way out the door but I gain from reading as well.

I was like Mary, very functional but it was hidden and definitely escalating and I wasnÂ’t happy. I did try AA, only a few meetings but being honest and this is only me, it depressed the living daylights out of me. They seemed to be going around in circles re-hashing how bad it was. Maybe the reason was to keep it to the forefront of their mind so they never went back to that place? When we quit first it is all consuming but then life goes on. I enjoy the banter on this thread but maybe newbies feel it is too established and are reluctant to join in. Also we seem to loose people. Are they just busy and getting on with life or have they fallen off the wagon? For me personally itÂ’s a bit like Unislim, if I start staying away and not going to be weighed then subconsciously IÂ’m giving myself permission to binge on food. Same with here, if I stop posting and distancing myself itÂ’s not good. Now I have to go as the doggies are getting impatient. Catch up later.

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

A lot to answer - firstly why I think ill go back to AA - its real its honest and I sometimes feel that it can be like a popularity contest here - manufactured humour - wit is wonderful but intuitive quick wit - not long thought out between posts to appear clever and smart - and far from finding AA gloomy I loved the real grittiness and care there - true care not social media care

Also I don't think its enough that many come to be accountable - I think there needs to be a contribution from all -

This IS a grim disease - its not a popularity contest

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

I'm on a roll

How many have been quoted here for years saying how grateful they were to be sober --- and then relapsed - why is that not properly explained or discussed

I'm NOT grateful that I'm an alcoholic or that I can't drink - I wish I could - but I cant

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

And this fucking disappearing when people relapse after years of so called 'support'????? Fuck that

And there's an enormous element of 'not as bad as' on this forum -- and 'functional'??? wtf does that mean? I didn't lose my job my family never got arrested got a drink driving yada yada -- was I functional ?? fuck no - the very FIRST time I supped the extra out of the glass in the kitchen before I brought the glasses into the sitting room - that's when I lost my 'functional' label - certainly supping out of a cupboard?? come on!! Mary talks of escalation - believe you me you will escalate if you are happy enough for now being 'functional' -- but you see -- if you were face to face -- this would be very very clear!!!!!

[mollyka]

Re: September Army!!!

And now what I must do is disappear to work and mind my OWN business - but to whoever this applies to around the boards - please please realise this is not a bit of a bother this alcoholism - this is very very serious - not to be toyed with - not to be 'oh I'll just drink this week cos I'm on holidays/I'm sad/I'm any shagging thing in the whole wide world' - this is an insurmountable 'disease' to so many people that may NEVER EVER find recovery - do not play with this - it is reckless at best and potentially fatal at worst - that is not overstating the case - and even the longest long-termers here on MWO would be considered newbies in AA - so not one person here is secure - don't forget it - EVER -- and now yes - I will mind my own business

Have I rattled cages? yes I guess I have - I'm not sorry - the only thing I've done wrong here imo is not minding my own business#
bye!

[JackieClaire]

Re: September Army!!!

Morning,
On a roll there, Molls and we do need our cages rattled. Not fully awake here.
I'm still in the junior section of AA but I can sit between someone with 42 years and someone on their first day but once in the room, we're all equals..........its only recently that one day at a time made sense to me. I've listened to shares that have made me howl laughing and some that have made me sob. The reason I went back to AA I wanted some of their serenity and calmness.

Got another day of people traipsing in and out of the house so I'd better get dressed.

[brit]

Re: September Army!!!

Cage rattled and understood . I was never any good at the internet stuff but did get a lot from the Army. Love you all and signing out!

[rustop59]

Re: September Army!!!

Cage rattled and understood . I was never any good at the internet stuff but did get a lot from the Army. Love you all and signing out!

Ah Brit/Anon :hug: please look after yourself.

[JackieClaire]

Re: September Army!!!

Cage rattled and understood . I was never any good at the internet stuff but did get a lot from the Army. Love you all and signing out!

Now then, Mrs A...........don't be daft. If MWO is enough for you then that's brilliant there's no need to disappear. Opinions are just that opinions.

[IamMary]

Re: September Army!!!

Cage rattled and understood . I was never any good at the internet stuff but did get a lot from the Army. Love you all and signing out!

Hi hope thats just a sign out for today!
Hows Mr Anon doing?

I really did think about AA, but was so nervous and embarrassed. I suppose thats normal.. I threw everything at MWO, followed every piece of advice given to me here.
Im still not brave enough to go now with 3+ years of sobriety, maybe one day.

On a NON AL topic, we've had this mad infestation of fruit flies today. Cant find the source, theres literally hundreds of them on the kitchen windows, nothing there yesterday!!! HELP. At least red wine had some use back in the day!

[JackieClaire]

Re: September Army!!!

I thought that too, Mers. Its a sign off not a run off...........marvellous devices these texts.

The only big news here, heating's been serviced and a new bed in the garage.

MWO running at snail pace so pressing submit.

[sweetpea29]

Re: September Army!!!

Cage rattled and understood . I was never any good at the internet stuff but did get a lot from the Army. Love you all and signing out!

Ah MrsA:hug: Like you I'm not too hot at the internet. One post takes seems to take me forever! Constantly feel like I'm in a brain fog and find it hard to put words to my thoughts. Also I got a lot from the Army and this site as a whole- such a wealth of info and experience. Love you too lovely lady xx

Mary, like you I have been too scared, maybe shamed to try AA. Thank all that's good I've been able to stay sober so far with just the tools and support here. Will never take it for granted and there's no way I'm cured so wouldn't rule out AA if the need arises. Am a big bit socially awkward and suffer anxiety in the most banal of settings so thought of walking into any meeting ne'er mind AA scares the bejasus outa me.
No advice re your fly problem.....have noticed an awful lot of them down in Daddy's this year, not the fruit ones-have tried some homemade traps which were useless so have looked into buying something electronic to zap the beggars.

Think one of main reasons the site ain't getting new members is that it doesn't seem to come up on search engines like Google. Know that's how I stumbled upon here all those years ago, can't remember exactly what I had googled but it must've been something to do with stopping drinking or problem drinking..... Not sure how that all works...

Hi to everyone else

Haven't been about past while, to be honest have been feeling very low. Not at the point of doing something silly low, but put it this way if a bus where to hit me tomorrow it would be a relief. So even with 'sobriety' life ain't perfect or easy maybe it actually hurts all the more. Maybe I shouldn't put this out there but suppose may as well be honest.

[satz123]

Re: September Army!!!

Ah Sweets - I told you to look after yourself. You are running on empty.
No go to the doc & get bloods done and see if you need medication.
I know yer a nurse but I'm yer stand-in Mam - so do as I tell you - tomorrow.

[satz123]

Re: September Army!!!

ps
I'm 5+ years sober and have never been to an AA meeting. I did not feel the need then or now - MWO and the great friends I've made on this thread is enough for me - FOR NOW.
BUT that is just me NOW .... who knows what is down the line ...... and from the beginning I pledged to do ANYTHING to get & stay sober and still will.
Constantly keeping 'front of mind' the horrors of being in the depths of drinking and daily seeing YS struggle is what keeps me contentedly sober. I am truly grateful to be free.
As my signature says.... I did it MY WAY ...... and thankfully it has worked thus far!!!

[rustop59]

Re: September Army!!!

Ah Sweets - I told you to look after yourself. You are running on empty.
No go to the doc & get bloods done and see if you need medication.
I know yer a nurse but I'm yer stand-in Mam - so do as I tell you - tomorrow.

Ah Sweetie :hug:, here is another stand-in telling you the same. You are going through a lot and itÂ’s not easy. Please take care of yourself. You too Anon, keep checking in. Anything hidden Mary? Bit of fruit, potatoes. I had them and discovered a few baby potatoes in a bag that had fallen behind a basket in the utility. I had day like you yesterday JC except with me it was drain and tv people who came.

Like you Satz IÂ’m doing it MY WAY and at over a year itÂ’s working. I did try AA and the meetings I tried were definitely not for me. However who knows down the line. Everyone is different and I feel it would be a shame if people stayed away over one persons opinions. Bit like AA take what YOU need and leave the rest. Plenty of oldies who have been on the site for years and continue to give wonderful support.