One Step at a Time - December 2018

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Oh Bird - how absolutely heartbreaking. Good job on not stopping for beer. It would only make everything harder. I am so sorry for the pain that you are going thru. I think it's really great that you can be there for your daughters. :hug:

@paulywogg - are you doing ok? I've been thinking of you today.

Liz - how goes the sickness around your place. Anyone else drop today? You would think that I was sick the way I have lounged around in my robe all day. Ha, ha. We've had so much rain and it gets cold in our house so why bother dressing. :rotlf:

How is everyone doing? I feel so much better after our time away but I am not looking forward to work tomorrow. Liz, I glad to hear that you didn't mind being in the hospital and were glad you were no longer there. That is huge. I am so happy for you.
How is everything going with everyone? Happy I hope. :heartbeat:

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

[MENTION=5628]Nora[/MENTION], you sound wonderful! Relaxed and happy. You just so needed this! Hopefully it will be an easy day for you tomorrow. How is the baby? Did you get her anything for Christmas yet? Going to a baby shower Sunday and it's a girl. Had so much fun shopping for girls clothes! [MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION], so glad you didn't get that beer. I'm sure it was a very difficult evening, but it did it sober, that's great. IMHO you need to deal with the grief, drinking just prolongs that process. At least that's how I saw it with my dad, you just need to go through it to get past it. Eh, it's a long process. Let us know how tomorrow goes. So nice how close you are with your girls [MENTION=6149]Paul[/MENTION]y, I'm not sure what you meant with "in person help" staying sober. The only help I am currently getting is you wonderful folks. I did go to a WFS meeting tonight and I'll go to the occassional AA meeting if I'm not working. I honestly don't know what's different this time around for me. I just got so tired of people waiting for me to screw up again? [MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION] and Glassie, hope you're ok and having a good week.

[Rusty]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Good Morning, Friends!

I have been running around like crazy trying to get ready for this brunch. You would think that with having the whole week off that I would be done with decorating, etc. NOOOO! I will be fine, though. It's been a very relaxing week. Mom is feeling well, and I had a lovely visit with my closest friends, who stuck with me during my worst drinking years. I am grateful that our friendship survived my drinking. :-)
[MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION]-GREAT job on not stopping for the beer. :welldone: That funeral must have been really tough. Enjoy your drum set.
[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION]-Pauly-what are you up to today? Dollar Tree visit? Wow, that place is addicting! Hahaha
[MENTION=19302]Lizann[/MENTION]-hope Logan is feeling better. I am so proud of you that you have remained sober.:yay: I think your family could see that it was different for you this time and they realized that constantly telling you that they were worried you would drink was NO help to you. All it did was make you anxious...a huge trigger for drinking for anyone. [MENTION=9757]NoraC[/MENTION]- you sound refreshed after your vacation. So happy for you. How are you feeling? Is your Mom feeling any aftereffects of her fall?
[MENTION=8902]Glass Half Empty[/MENTION]-I hope you are well, love.

Big hellos to [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION], [MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION], [MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION], [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION], and our other friends....Happy AF, Self-Caring and Joyful Friday!

[Guitarista]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Big hello to you Rusty, Nora, and everyone here!

Wishing y'all a happy, peaceful weekend.

[bird]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Hi all,
Well I am home. The service was difficult and lovely all at the same time. So many young people in attendance and dd2 made the most beautiful speech. There was a large gathering at her parents house afterward with lots of food and so many friends and family. Probably 50 kids there, so much love going around and hugs and tears. So glad I made it home last night without stopping for beer, as I had thought about it so much. I didn't really want to do it though. I was thinking that might be the 1st funeral I have been to where I did not drink afterwards or during. I agree lizann it is better just to deal with it. Just sit with it and soon my mind wanders. I have hung on to so many deaths for so many years and feel I am just really working through those these past few months........Mr. G it is good to see you.....Lizann, I love shopping for baby clothes! Hope you have fun at the shower........Rusty, nice to have close friends who stick with you through it all! Hope the brunch went well!.....Nora, hope work was ok yest. Hope your relaxed feeling will stretch out.....Paulie, how are you today?....waves to Glassie....

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Good morning. [MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION], sounds like you had a nice week even though you didn't finish decorating. I know how much you enjoy entertaining. When is the brunch? Are you making anything new for brunch? We are thinking of doing a brunch for Christmas this year.. [MENTION=2634]bird[/MENTION], I'm glad you didn't stop for the beer, but it's hard, I know. It's great that so many people were there for the funeral. I can't imagine what those parents are dealing with, especially this time of year.
Hubby woke up not feeling well. I think he's got what the baby and everyone over there had. Not much on the agenda for today. I've got a ton of laundry to do and clean. Hopefully start wrapping gifts, though I'm just not feeling it.
Really sweet picture of Lucy popped up in my memories on FB. It just made me cry. There is such a void this Christmas and I must admit I'm struggling this holiday season. I can't even deal with the hallmark movies! Need to pull myself together.
Hope everyone has a great Saturday

[abcowboy]

Hi right back to you [MENTION=1214]Rusty[/MENTION], and to all the Steppers! As with all the forums, I stop by and try to keep up on what’s happening. Don’t usually have anything of value to add, so just read and move on. But today Bird said something that hit home to me…

I have hung on to so many deaths for so many years and feel I am just really working through those these past few months

As most of you know, I’ve lost 2 brothers and both my parents in the past years. I was an active alcoholic, a drunk, through all the deaths. I used alcohol to grieve, but that’s not really grieving, not really even coping, just going through the motions. I’m not even sure their death’s really affected me until I got sober. Two years ago I realized that I’d never really got over their deaths, so Bubba and I booked a hotel room and headed for home. We spent two days, and travelled around to 3 cemeteries to visit every grave of a lost family member, and there were a lot of them. We spent some time at each grave and I would tell Bubba a story of a good time that I had, a memory that stuck in my head, that I'd had with each of them. It was a very emotional 2 days for me, and many tears were shed. We then spent 2 more days vising all my family that is still living in the area. It was one of the best trips home that I’ve ever had and when we got back to our home, I was at peace with myself and with their deaths...

Sobriety has many blessings in store for us, and that was just one of them that sobriety has given me…

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION], I am sorry for your losses. Thanks for sharing here, as that was my point exactly.

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Good morning and happy Sunday! I guess everyone is busy this weekend?
I cleaned, did laundry and wrapped all the gifts yesterday. I never left the house. It was so cold outside anyway. Headed to a baby shower in a bit, One of Erin's college friend. its been a tough road for her and I'm thrilled she's finally pregnant.
What's everybody up to today?

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Have a post half done but hubby has decided to sit down next to me. I need privacy. :rotlf:

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Happy Sunday (or is it Monday, Glassie?)

I'm sorry that I have been MIA. I have started a post several times but ended up deleting it. I always feel bad if I don't have time to acknowledge everyone so I end up not posting. I will probably get interrupted again right now but I will post anyway. LOL

Liz - that's nice that Erin's friend is pregnant after having a hard time. I can't believe that you have already wrapped all your presents! I'm sorry that you have been down. This is definitely a hard time and we miss our loved ones so much.

Rusty - I hope that your brunch was wonderful. I'm sure it was. I am so happy to hear that your Mom is feeling better. How fun that you got to visit with your friends. That's great. I have turned into such a hermit that I haven't been in contact with my friends. I need to remedy that. Anyway, hope that you have had a wonderful time.

Bird - :hug: I have been thinking of you. I know that the funeral had to have been such a hard experience. But, also a coming together showing love. I wish I were better with words. But, just know that you have been close to my heart.
[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION] - thank you for stopping by. I liked that line using alcohol to grieve. That is true. I am glad that you were able to go back home and make peace within yourself. :hug:

I follow Rabbi Brian (Religion Outside The Box) and recently he e-mailed a 'Spiritual Fitness Self Assessment'. I haven't completed it yet but it looks interesting. I know that my perspectives have certainly changed once I stopped drinking. So, I am much more at peace. But, you rate where you are are and where you think you should be on different things such as: At Peace, Feel Loved, Give Love, Grateful and on to Angry, Vengeful, Guilt, etc. I know that I am at a different place than I was.
[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] - what are you up to today. Did you get to go out to breakfast? I am spoiled after going out to breakfast for a few days. Ha, ha

Gladys - I hope that you are doing well. Sending you happy, positive thoughts. I know you are in crunch time so big hugs.
[MENTION=3793]Guitar[/MENTION]ist - Happy to see you as always. What's new & wonderful on your front?

I have exactly 1 gift to wrap so far. I keep feeling myself starting to get anxiety but so far I've pushed it back down. Actually, we have downsized so much. So, I can do this.

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Guess that today was my turn to talk to myself. :rotlf:

I hope that everyone has a happy week. :heartbeat:

[Lizann]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Hey Nora. Some days are just like that here I guess. Please don't feel like you have to acknowledge my posts. I'm really just concerned with how you're doing. That self assessment does sound interesting. I'm sure for me there would be room for improvement on most topics.

[bird]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

Hi all,
[MENTION=21602]abcowboy[/MENTION] I totally agree that drinking through it all isn't really doing anything. Its like sleeping when you are drinking, you are just passed out, not real sleep. Still tired in the morning. I too went on a trip home. Went to see cousins and graves and drive around. Talk things out as to why I had been gone for so long, get caught up etc. Lighten the load some. Still working through things in my head.....Nora, thank you for your kind words. No need to delete your posts when you can't get to everyone. I would not be able to if I were working. We are just glad to hear from you and how you all are doing. The Rabbi Brian thing sounds interesting.......Lizann, brunch for xmas sounds good. Glad you got the wrap going. Hugs to you.....took dd2 and her friend and bf out shopping Sat. We didn't buy anything, just wanted to be around my kid. Had lunch out. Went to walmart yest(awful!)...haha...dd2 came over for a bit. Has been raining for 2 days. Doing laundry and cleaning. We are going up to Helen GA for a couple days soon. Do some hiking and shopping. The girls have finals this week and then out...love to all....b

[NoraC]

Re: One Step at a Time - December 2018

hello everyone. It finally clicked that it's almost Christmas. :notepad::check::headscratch: I am really not with it this year at all.

It's already my bed time so I've got to run. I hope that everyone is having a fantastic week so far. :yay: