June Army Thread 2019

[stirly-girly]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Oh I could not agree more [MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION]. My opinion is that the public prosecutors should not be allowed to say no.
Can you imagine if every attention-seeking ego maniac had a go at this?
Likewise there is no use making parenting payments mandatory and then not prosecuting for non payment. That is legislation with no teeth and is a waste of everyone's time and effort. If they would enforce such laws, people would comply with them. You must be furious.

Furious and very frustrated to say the least. Due to her neglect - as proven by statements made by younger son, her brother and the girl who stood up for younger son and wife at their wedding plus photographic evidence, exclusive custody was awarded to him. He had the boy (2 years 2 months old at the time) exclusively for three months during which he spent no time at his mother's home, only saw her in the morning when the school bus to pick him up. She appealed the decision twice and her appeals were rejected. They went to court 14th of May with a statement from her psychiatrist stating that she is a capable mother - this directly opposite to a statement he made two months prior saying she couldn't identify herself as a mother (note she has been going to psychologists and psychiatrists since the age of 20 - kind of a "hobby" if you will.) Two other psychiatrists were consulted by us and both consider that the psychiatrist was paid to restate his opinion of her mental state. A statement from the boy's godmother saying that DIL is not the pathological liar that she is - this in spite of a confrontation about this issue where the godmother was present and DIL herself admitted that she has told many lies about many things and continues to do so. And due to these statements, she was bringing charges against son for defamation of character. His lawyer advised him to pull out to avoid any further charges, court hearings, etc., - they only had 15 hours to prepare their case after the papers were served so it was a panic decision and he agreed to sign the consensual divorce agreement to end all of this mess. She has custody, he pays child support. For now. He can challenge this at any time but it will be a long, messy, expensive process and we have not only the family business to run but he needs to be calm and focused the times he has the child with him - two nights a week and every other weeked. His emotional state for the past two years has been very much challenged since he discovered things about her past that he didn't know and mainly the fact that she loves to lie and mislead people to put it politely. She has also asked for a divorce 4 times over the past 2 years and then changed her mind. An emotional roller coaster for younger son, to say the least. Finally, since February 15th they are living separately and the divorce will be final in a short while. Her parents have supported her fully through all of to uphold their family's "facade" to the rest of the world, in spite of the fact that they know full well the depth of her problems. Endless conversations with son, endless hours of him gathering facts and information to support his case and emotionally draining for not only him but us as well. Mind you, nothing compared to what you have gone through with your boy, Bridge, just very, very tiring and frustrating. BTW, my nephew was charged with SA last year and on the advice of his legal aid attorney, pleaded guilty although he could remember nothing of the incident. (he was on ant-depressants and although he told the girls they were with that he was not to drink alcohol, he was served a drink with AL which reacted badly with his meds. The girl involved was 18 at the time - legal drinking age in Canada is 19. He was at her parents home for a party. She claims she went to sleep fully clothed and woke to find him having oral sex with her. He remembers nothing. Now how she woke up from the oral sex but didn't wake up when he was removing her jeans and panties is a question. At the time she was involved with another lad and already pregnant by him but that is another issue. Nephew was advised to plead guilty as it was his first offense and that at most he would be put on parole and that would be the end of it. Nope. Got 6 months jail, is now a registered sex offender and his dreams of becoming a teacher are gone for ever. Not because he's my nephew but he's the last guy in the world who would force himself on a girl. Actually a bit shy and one of the nicest kids you could ever wish for. Shit happens to the best of them it seems. I hope you and your boy can patch up your relationship and move on with your lives. The whole situation has put you through enough. Hopefully the little bitch gets what she deserves! And definitely the legal system needs a good shaking up as far as things like this are concerned.

Off for a wee nap. Catch up with the Army later, hopefully....

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Jesus Christ Stirly!
What an hideous, hellaceous mess!
I wouldn't wish such an experience on my worst enemy.
Your son must be so angry and disillusioned. The family obviously realise that she is personality disordered. Sounds like they are well and truly part of the problem.

And as for your nephew...but for the grace of God. That poor poor bloke. How will he ever trust again?

They wonder why we get cynical love!

[paulywogg]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

:hug:Bridget,sounds like you and your family have been to hell and back,I hope you all can move forward and heal:hug: Jackie, thinking of you too,waves to all

[rustop59]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Just popped in for a quick read and wanted to send hugs to JC and Bridget. Have not much time to post. Am thinking of you both. Spain going really well, beautiful weather. Will check in properly when I get home.

[JackieClaire]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Evening,
Hope we all enjoyed our nanna naps or big sleep. Mine was bliss.
Its been heartbreaking and heartwarming to see such honesty from Bridgeeeee and Stirly. Even Mr JC would say the laws an ass. Obviously, over the decades he's been practicing there's been many changes. He doesn't do criminal any more...although he's up to date as he has to be to keep his certificate....its too complicated these days. But back in the day he would never ever have reccommended pleading guilty when they're not.
These days he does house conveyancing and wills and stops his boss having panic attacks. She's a child advocate.
I feel positive.........so much so I've been looking at flights to Washington DC so rather than his cousins coming over here we'll go to them........probably April 2020.

MIL not only met her nieces today but her great-nieces and her great-great nieces. I've had a look at the photos and I haven't seen her look so happy for years.

[stirly-girly]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Evening,
Hope we all enjoyed our nanna naps or big sleep. Mine was bliss.
Its been heartbreaking and heartwarming to see such honesty from Bridgeeeee and Stirly. Even Mr JC would say the laws an ass. Obviously, over the decades he's been practicing there's been many changes. He doesn't do criminal any more...although he's up to date as he has to be to keep his certificate....its too complicated these days. But back in the day he would never ever have reccommended pleading guilty when they're not.
These days he does house conveyancing and wills and stops his boss having panic attacks. She's a child advocate.
I feel positive.........so much so I've been looking at flights to Washington DC so rather than his cousins coming over here we'll go to them........probably April 2020.

MIL not only met her nieces today but her great-nieces and her great-great nieces. I've had a look at the photos and I haven't seen her look so happy for years.

Evening Army!!

Hope [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] is getting a good night's sleep.

Looks like I got things mixed up and Rusty's the one vacationing in Spain. Glad to hear the weather is cooperating. Had a lovely day here today but more like spring weather than summer for Greece. Am enjoying the fact that we haven't got really hot weather yet.

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] - glad to hear you sounding so positive!! If the trip to the US doesn't work out, you could always visit Greece again. I've got lots of room! And the port is just a five-minute drive away for you to go to some of the islands... :smile:

[MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] - nice to see you!

[satz123]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] thanks for your honest reply to my nosy questions.
I'm glad it's been cathartic for you.

Violent rant alert : ( may be upsetting to some readers)

I'd love to take the little cow and batter her senseless.
Can you take a civil case against her for defamation of charactar?
It's what you should do to get closure - but you won't because it will drag it out further.
Maybe just tell her that's what you intend doing & frighten the shit out of her ..... I'm getting seriously mad here and I know no-one involved.
The pain, the hurt she caused you and your boy. And could have been grandparents too !

Have these :hug::hug:

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

:hug:Bridget,sounds like you and your family have been to hell and back,I hope you all can move forward and heal:hug: Jackie, thinking of you too,waves to all

Thanks [MENTION=17650]paulywogg[/MENTION] I am absolutely determined to move forward and heal. I will not allow us to be victimised further by this. if anything I have a new appreciation for life without 'The troubles'.
By the way, I noticed that you are sounding a lot more settled and hopeful these days. i think sobriety is working it's magic on you :love:

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Hope you are having a ball [MENTION=22365]rus[/MENTION]top You deserve that lovely break there. Don't hurry back.

JC I was thinking more about Stirly's nephew last night. Here was I thinking that this is an isolated incident. Apparently not!! Whoever gave the boy that sort of legal advice needs a kick up the arse. Conviction rates are low, even for the guilty (which is also not right!) To advise an innocent person like that? FFS!
The other delusion I had is that 'legal aid' is free........it is anything but!!! Contributions still have to be made on a sliding scale and as the boy had a roof over his head and support, we paid top level bucks. We'll be a while recovering from that too.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

@byebyebridgetjones thanks for your honest reply to my nosy questions.
I'm glad it's been cathartic for you.

Violent rant alert : ( may be upsetting to some readers)

I'd love to take the little cow and batter her senseless.
Can you take a civil case against her for defamation of charactar?
It's what you should do to get closure - but you won't because it will drag it out further.
Maybe just tell her that's what you intend doing & frighten the shit out of her ..... I'm getting seriously mad here and I know no-one involved.
The pain, the hurt she caused you and your boy. And could have been grandparents too !

Have these :hug::hug:

Accepted with thanks, those hugs.
Satzy, I didn't know that I was even capable of the evil thoughts I've had over the last year. I probably shouldn't even say it but you get the drift.
I have to face the fact that it is about the boy and not me, and he just can't go any further.
Unfortunately I am a vitriolic, menopausal shrew who likes to win, so I am still seething.
I think many in our community would advise me to 'let go and let God' I struggle with this, not being religious, but there is something in it. Maybe we damage limit for ourselves while trusting karma to take care of her?
However.....this is a relatively small community and my eyes and ears will be open, trust me......

Right, I'm going to take that post up there off now. We don't need that negative shit here. We've got nice stuff to do for ourselves.

[stirly-girly]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Good morning Army from a gorgeously sunny day in Greece!! Mornings are still a wee bit cool but the temps will be most comfortable later in the day. A light breeze to top things off and it couldn't get better. A new week starting and I think it's gonna be a good one!!

Unfortunately I am a vitriolic, menopausal shrew who likes to win, so I am still seething.
I think many in our community would advise me to 'let go and let God' I struggle with this, not being religious, but there is something in it. Maybe we damage limit for ourselves while trusting karma to take care of her?


Right, I'm going to take that post up there off now. We don't need that negative shit here. We've got nice stuff to do for ourselves.

I, too struggle with the wanting to get back at them issue, Bridge. My nephew managed to get his university degree with a double major in spite of the impending court date and the charges hanging over him. He, too was on suicide watch for a while in jail and got beaten up badly at some point. He's a big boy - over 6 ft and well built. He'd been battling depression for a couple of years and had been wise enough at 22 to recognize the signs and ask for help, that's why he was on medication. The night he got arrested, he didn't even wake up his Mom, thinking there was no reason to alarm her - just went quietly, but asked that they wait for him to get his meds. That's when his Mom woke and discovered the cop car in her driveway. (She and my brother divorced amicably about 10 years ago and he and his brother live with her.) As I said earlier, the conviction labelled him as a sex offender and he will never be a teacher as was his dream. He started college when he got out of jail to become a mechanical engineering assistant but became disillusioned by it all and is now working as a delivery boy at the local pizzeria. This is how a life can be affected by someone else's lies - just as your life and your son's has been in turmoil over the past 18 months. And lord know how long it will take you to recover, emotionally and financially. But for us to move on, we need to leave these things behind. It's something I am struggling with on a daily basis with the situation that younger son is in. Very difficult as I, too want to "win" - that is, see that justice is done and people get what they deserve. I'm slowly working through it but it's hard. However, I need to be strong to support my son and the others around me struggling with various issues, so foremost is looking after me - being as positive as I can, looking after my physical well being and remembering to be grateful for what I have.

Army - wishing you all a great week!! As Mr. G would say - even when it's cloudy - there's a blue sky up there somewhere!!!

[IamMary]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Morning,
I was reading the stories last night and didnt have any words of comfort to reply, I still don't. Sorry you are going through such horrific events [MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] & [MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION]. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I know that can go both ways, but sometimes you'd wonder.
As a mothers of teenagers of both genders, I find myself constantly warning my son of cases like these, the complications of relationships. With my daughters, the message is mostly to 'be sensible'. And as Bridge mentioned, it will make it harder and harder for genuine cases to be proven beyond doubt.
I also know of a terribly nice young guy doing a few years in the US for rape (he was working there as a student). He has no recollection of the events as he'd blacked out with alcohol. He very well may have raped her (but lots of things dont add up with the story).
Remove alcohol from these stories and the endings would all be different.

No question, if that young one admitted she lied, charges should be brought down on her immediately. I dont think I could let that go Bridge. Take a breather now and give yourself and your son a bit of time to digest all of of this first and to get back to some kind of normal.

Bank holiday here (yay). Winds very strongs. My poor campers were nearly blown off the mountain. A few tents had to be taken down and they bunked in with each other.. Character building :haha:

Later..

[IamMary]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Good to see you back [MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION] :happy2:

[satz123]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION] I'm heading to the mountains today with Rosie.
I'll save the kiddies ........ :egad:

[JackieClaire]

Re: June Army Thread 2019

Morning,
I've got a good news tale.
Jenny has finally met with her partner's children. They've been together over 14/15 months and for obvious reasons he's taken it very slowly. He'd been separated from the mother over 5 years ago and had girlfriends before who/whom they've never met. They've taken it very slowly and last Thursday met them at his mother's house.
Finally, the mother has allowed him full access and they had dinner at Jenny's house then walked the Buddy. She's beyond happy and his mother is sighing with relief that this woman has seen sense. I have no idea why they separated in the beginning but the BF was trying for full custody in the first place (which actually speaks volumes).......... I don't know the full story, probably never will. But the best thing is he's taken it slowly.......done the right thing by turning up on the proper days, paid maintainence on the dot and its paying off now. It all went very well.
Needless to say they're delighted.
I'm off for a wee walk.......just a wee one up to Tesco. I haven't worn proper clothes for 3 days and the dressing comes off later on and I can wash my hair and have a shower. :thumbsup: