October Army Thread 2019

[stirly-girly]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Good morning Army from a rainy Athens!! Loving it - bits of blue, blue sky peaking through the rain clouds so I guess it's not going to last long.

Ok dilemma for you all to consider : answers on a postcard .....

My brother's daughter - an adult - age 34 - was stealing pension from her grandmother - my mother - 2 years ago. Cleared her out until we installed a camera to find the culprit.
Eventually, as I predicted, myself & my sister ended up being the baddies because we outed her - not publically but to brother 2 who told brother 1
His wife has been avoiding us since then & has not spoken to us or been in the same company - though shame apparently. My brother is short snappy & sometimes rude to just us two on family WhatsApp group.

So ..... brother 1's wife now her brother has died - was our next door neighbours back home in the day when we were kids -
Do I turn up at the funeral ?

Mr S is bullying me to go - 'cos in his eyes you always go to a funeral .....
He's never held a grudge in his life ..... but .......

Well - my two cents worth. I guess for me it would depend on what kind of a relationship you had with your SIL's brother before all of this happened (with their daughter, I mean) and what kind of relationship you had with SIL's family. I know it's a very delicate situation and they certainly should have apologized themselves for their daughter's actions or better still, got the girl to apologize herself. However, from my point of view, the biggest problem is not your SIL, but your brother. He's the one all miffed about his daughter being caught and has probably influenced his wife as far as her attitude towards you and your sister now. Of course, it's not easy to face others when your child has f'd up royally and it has affected family members but he should have shown his regret rather than being offensive to you and your sister. But the bottom line, IMVVVVHO, is that whether or not you go to the funeral, has to do with your relationship with the deceased and not anyone else.

On another subject, I had a great weekend - babysat young Alvertos at my place on Saturday night til Sunday morning and then a lovely drive out into the country and lunch out with my special friend yesterday. Perfectly grilled lamb chops with the best fried zucchini ever and a huge Greek salad!! All in all a wonderful weekend and so grateful to be sober and able to enjoy these small pleasures to the utmost!!!

Wishing you all a great week!!

[mollyka]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Morning! flying to work - abandoning leaks ;-) and plumbers ;-) and mechanics ;-)
I s'pose another thing - as I get older - my life is way way too short to put me in the way of people who may spurn me or be rude to me or exclude me -- fuck them - and as for the lad in the grave - he's dead -- he knows nothing of any of this...

Must fly -- talk later!!!

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Well bugger me. I always thought Carlisle was over the border but Google tells me it is 10 miles south. There ya go.
Lovely long weekend had here. Not enough gardening but never mind, I'll get there.
Satz, I'd do whatever I felt comfortable with. And how did it become YOUR fault that the woman was ripping off her Granny? God help us, what a piece of work. Some parents will defend anything.

Mary it was just a drive away, about an hour. Cousin is doing really well only a week post-op.

A very disturbing conversation was had yesterday about someone's alcoholic neighbour and her behaviour. It was acutely uncomfortable (these people don't know anything about my own drinking). This woman was vomiting blood, going to the toilet all over her house abusing people, walking around with no clothes on outside in broad daylight, having drunk sexual liaisons with all and sundry. I just felt my whole body taughten as the conversation rolled on. My friend is terrified to go in for fear of what she'll find. I thought 'but for the grace of God'. I don't think there is a limit to how low you can go with alcohol. It will just suck you dry and steal everything from you. Especially your dignity. Boy was I grateful all over again driving home!

Anyway, time for Monty, Nigel and Nell. Hoping I don't go to sleep as soon as I hear Monty Don's voice as I usually do.

[IamMary]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

and as for the lad in the grave - he's dead -- he knows nothing of any of this...

Yes you are right there too Molly. Satz, do whatever you feel.

Shudder Bridge.. hard to know how far or at what pace any of us would go, but we would keep moving in the wrong direction, thats a certainty. The lengths I would go to conceal it, I cant image ever being the talk of the neighbours, but I'm sure that poor woman never imagined her life would turn out the way it did now.

Monday done. Tick.

[mollyka]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Christ yeah - the concealing - but I wonder when the attempts at concealment would have become transparently nonsense - and maybe sometime later the not giving a shit stage... I feel it could crash in fairly quickly - I still had notions of being the perfect mother/wife/daughter/employee etc. etc and to a certain extent I reckon I got away with it (to the outside world - not the immediate family) I do sometimes wonder (especially when the inhouse gossiping is going on at work and peeps are being dissected over a coffee cup) DID I get away with it?? No point in tormenting myself with that now - it's a long time ago and that's not me now - so sod it!

Monday done. Tick again ;-)

[rustop59]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Night everyone. Monday well done and dusted here. About to hit the leaba. I think the only one we were fooling was ourselves. We might not have become as bad as the lady Bridget mentioned but I am sure people noticed. All that is in the past and grateful to be going to bed sober and waking up with a clear head tomorrow.

[JackieClaire]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Morning,
We got back from wet and soggy Carlisle yesterday afternoon. The hotel was a little run down to say the least, and had a whiff of dampness but it had a bed and a TV and we were there for some R&R and it was cheap. The pub across the served fabby food.
Lucky we didn't go to the Prix de l'arc de Triomphe as my horse was second and think we'd have still been on the bus coming home.
[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION].............Carlisle used to be in Scotland way, way back. Its not mentioned in the Doomsday book. Prince Rupert changed all that in 1092. Its a lovely, lovely market town had a good auld wander on Sunday.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION].........we've been to funerals where we vaguely knew the person that died. We went to support the family who were close friends of ours and they were grieving.
But in this case your brother should not even expect you to be there. The daughter got away with a terrible crime.......stealing from a vulnerable lady and they showed no shame (as far as I can see). If Mr S wants to go let him. He can be your representative but ask him is it just the hooley after that he's after.

Its actually made my mind up about going to my little friend's funeral on Thursday. Tbh looking at FB its turned into a who knew him best, who loved him best fiasco. I adored him. I've also got a plasterer here and just can't get away without a right faff on.
So I've decided to go to a lovely wee church on Friday. I'll light a candle and just spend a few quiet moments thinking of him and his family. We all mourn in different ways.
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION].........you asked why it takes so long over here. They're some daft rules. Sudden death means a PM.........which for some obscure reason you have to have seen your GP within the last three days before death.Then a coroners report. Then finding the one and only spade we seem to have up here to dig the grave or who's got the box of matches at the crematorium.

[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION].....apoligies I missed your further post trying to get through to your man only drinking one glass of wine. I'd had my run-ins with him before. I honestly hope something you've said made him think.

[JackieClaire]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION]...........I feel so sorry for that woman. It may be disturbing for her neighbours but she's in a living Hell. Can they contact local mental health services?

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Morning to you all.
There's another day at work ticked off. 4 day week so no complaining (I will but don't listen to me)

Can't stop thinking about that neighbour woman. There was more but I'll spare you. It's really got me shaken. She was about my age - a few of us here I think. She has lost everything. I feel just so incredibly sorry for her. Imagine how many more there are out there?

Daylight saving started this weekend so I'll be getting much more value out of the afternoons after work and I can't wait.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

@byebyebridgetjones...........I feel so sorry for that woman. It may be disturbing for her neighbours but she's in a living Hell. Can they contact local mental health services?

X post. I asked if she'd been to rehab and my friend just snorted. Many times. Ambulance called almost weekely, police, family to clean her up. Knocking on my friend's door at 3am asking for more wine. Horrible horrible mess.

[mollyka]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Morning everyone! Sorry the hotel wasn't great Jackie..I analyse reviews after a few disappointing ones these days..
No news..

[JackieClaire]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

X post. I asked if she'd been to rehab and my friend just snorted. Many times. Ambulance called almost weekely, police, family to clean her up. Knocking on my friend's door at 3am asking for more wine. Horrible horrible mess.

Heartbreaking for her family.

Morning everyone! Sorry the hotel wasn't great Jackie..I analyse reviews after a few disappointing ones these days..
No news..

I do that too.

Going to feed Bess and move stuff around so the plasterer when he arrives tomorrow can move with ease.

The end is sooooooooooo close I can smell it.

[mollyka]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Just popping in to say goodnight ...poxy day ..tomorrow WILL be better!!!! Night night xx

[rustop59]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Same here. Busy busy but lovely having my daughter home for a few days. Just in from Pilates. Hope tomorrow is better Molly. Good night everyone.

[satz123]

Re: October Army Thread 2019

Evening all.
Molls : you sound like Scarlett ........

source.gif

The funeral debacle :
I told MrS to back off and I will not be bullied or shamed into going somewhere I'm not wanted.
After much deliberation I have decided to go to the funeral. I knew the lad and he was a friendly type.
Myself & my sister will go, sign the book and sit at the back. We are toying with the idea of wearing sunglasses & big black veiled hats :haha:

But then we said "no" - we are bound to make yer wan uncomfortable - she'll be squirming - we haven't met eyeball to eyeball in 2 years.
So feck it let's enjoy ourselves ....

MrS can do as he pleases ..... all that forgive & forget shit - I am not the one who decided to blame the messengers.