Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

[kitkatsue]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

David,

I am 37 and divorced no kids. I get depressed allot.

All my good intentions to not binge when I am really depressed go right out the window.

I found a therapist and it has helped allot, do give it a try. And I posted twice when I was

buzzed. Fortunately my foot had not found it's way into my mouth.

Take care!!

kitkat

[nancy]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Depression has been addressed on a number of threads, if you search you can see them.

Also, we have a thread called Newbies in Need-- new every day. You can log in there and post about what is working and what isn't, support others and be supported.

[morrison]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hey David. To answer your question, I'm gonna have to quote Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. "Did you know I'm utterly insane?"

Man, I am so freakin' crazy, I feel you. I've always been that way. I started to nearly cry the other day after talking with my father. It was Father's day, and I didn't talk to him in a while. He is 2500 miles away, and probably isn't long for this world. I'm the selfish fuck that just can't go back there, cause every place I see, smell, feel, taste, is just a constant reminder of how much of a piece of garbage I am. How selfish is that? I was diagnosed bipolar when I was only 15. I went off. What a fucking insult!!! Fact is, after many years of self destruction, I had to think about it. Went to the shrink (on my own this time, not mandated), and felt a huge burden come off of me once I could face the fact that maybe I just was a bit different. It is very, very hard to do. Especially for a guy. We're suppose to be tough, right? I'm like you too. I work out like a madman, then when I do drink, I kill myself. I know I'm all over the place with this, but I relate big time. Some where along the line, I lost my confidence with women too. You know, its not just that. I don't even respect most women now. I love the women on this board, but from a personal standpoint, I've just been so disgusted, I know I'll never love again. Anyway, there are some good meds out there that will help you out. Trust me, I've been on them all. Haha. And just go out with as many women as you can and don't worry about falling in love. Unless you are really tall and have tons of money, they aren't gonna love you back anyway. Haha. Take care.

[rottrod]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

David, don't worry about women right now, just get better, there are plenty of women out there to think about at that time. We are all pulling for you.

[New Ways]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

David, wow I feel like you were writing about me. I joined MWO yesturday after being so depressed about my drinking and I'm just sick of being sad. Depresssion sucks! It sucks even more when you like wine. Keep posting your progress. Good luck. Shelley

[Bella]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hello david. I have suffered from the dreaded 'black dog' for a long time. I did nothing about it until a few months ago. I self-medicated by drinking 1 or 2 bottles of wine a night. You can imagine how the depression was every morning after that! LOL I got on-line counselling after being told by a close friend that I could not continue like I was. Excessive alcohol=depression. Depression=excessive alcohol. It is a vicious circle. The only reason I was able to get help and change my ways was because I had no choice. I had to reach rock bottom before climbing back up again. You must decide what to do David. I think you sound nice and you need to think seriously- Do I carry on like I am? Or take the bull by the horns and try to change. You can do this and you have all the support here. I truly believe that. Good luck my friend. Bella xxxx

[paguy]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hey David - I know how you feel. I have been battling anxiety for at least 8 years. I really didn't understand what was going on - I thought I had some sort of underlying medical condition but I finally came to the realization that I had generalized anxiety disorder and was experiencing panic attacks. I finally sought medical advice about 3 years ago and my doctor prescribed Lexapro for the anxiety.

The Lexapro really seemed to help the anxiety but after experiencing the loss of a close family member last year, I began drinking heavily - going thorough a fifth of vodka every other day. My doctor recently increased my Lexapro to 20 mg/day in an attempt to manage my 'depression'. I have been reluctant to take the increased dosage until I manage to control or abstain from drinking. The effects of the alcohol are accelerated when combined with alcohol and it scares me.

I recently purchased Allen Carr's book, 'The Easy Way to Stop Drinking' and it is very insighfult. Interestingly, the author suggests that you don't stop drinking until you finish the book. I have to admit that I a, 3/4 of the way through the book, and the thought of drinking alcohol is becomes less appealing.

You may want to check out Lucinda Bassett's 'Attacking Anxiety' program. I found her materials to be helpful in managing my anxiety and panic attacks.

I am a 'newbie' here and am gaining lots of knowledge reading through all the posts. I encourage you to do the same.

Don't be a stranger!

John
:new:

[diamond]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

I can identify with you too, I have had depression since puberty - yeh, thats way too long (bout 30 years) but it was only as I have gotten older that I realised this.

I think the drinking came after my depression and because of it, I started drinking to excess about 18 years but less often than recently. 10 bottles of wine a week - I wish -
I was upto 14 + at one stage ! Now I am AF - I must admit my moods are more stable than before.

Morrison, I am sorry you feel bad about women, I know my husband must be a saint to put up with me I have put him and my family through hell with drinking. So please I am sorry they have treated you badly.

[cassy]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hi David
you sound like you are on the right track to get some support. a lot of people seem to have had mental health issues on this site who may offer you the understanding you sound like you want.

I dont post when i drink or ever use the phoneonly because i know i would sound a proper eejit!!!!!!!!!!!

i do other crazy stuff though and have been known to dance and pull faces at myself in front of a mirror............then eat the contents of the fridge..yuk

good luck with halfing the booze from 9 bottles to half...its a new month tomorrow and that might be your starting point..keep us posted.


you will love it when you have hardly any bottles in the recycling bin........i used to hate bin day as i heard the clatter of at least 7 bottles a week crash in to it!!!some weeks i manage just a couple of bottles now and the breaking of glass seems less painful to hear!!!!!!!!!

working on reducing too as usual.


good luck David ...regards Cassy

[louise]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hey David, Welcome. It sounds like you have made a good start with tracking what you are doing. For me the depression came first. The drinking would help very temporarily, but in the long run made it worse. I think all the tools mentioned in the book are very helpful. I take medication for the depression as well and they are working much better now that I have been able to significantly reduce the drinking. I hope this is a useful site for you.

[sheshe]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hi :new: , but I had to post on this thread because I have also been a loon for at least 20 years!:H !

I was on antidepressants for about 8 years but they really didn't work for me. In fact, I think they made me WORSE! I drank even more on them and just went bonkers in general! Finally, after a psychotic break on Effexor I went off of them last August (after my therapist downright refused to consider trying a no meds approach). Instead I did a ton of research on natural healing and found a list of supplements (including GABA, L-glut, magnesium and the Bs, + more - you wouldn't believe the wads of pills I swallow everyday!).

I was feeling great, drinking tons less, losing the weight and getting my hair back (yep, I had ALL the side effects) until October when I took a personal blow that wrecked me for quite awhile (not sure I'm ready to share that!). It's taken me until now to sort of get over it (although my life will never be the same) - but I think I handled it much better than I would have if I were still on the meds; I wish I had known about the drink tracker then, because I could have really seen how I was doing. Thing is, with all of the supps, alcohol affects me differently, and I think I get drunker on less - but I still have some of the old habits, hence my presence here!

God, sorry so long! I just wanted to let you know that I know how you're feeling and what you're going through. You already realize that the drinking actually makes it worse, so that's a place to start. If you're leery of the psych meds, try doing some research on vitamins and supplements; I swear they have done wonders for me, and while I am still dealing with the drinking it's nothing like it was this time last year (many,many,many more AF days). I wish I had a book to reccommend, but I did most of my research on the Web. Believe me, though, It can get better - I'm living proof! Last summer I really thought I might spend quite a bit of time eating jello and fingerpainting in a place with pastel painted walls and soft music!

[idiot_wind]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Wow! Thanks for the support everyone

At least I know that I am very much not on my own..

Don't feel like saying much at the moment, will post again soon..

David x

[boycie]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Dave not on your own mate, I had my own business for 25 years and did same thing. the stress was major factor for me. I have been lonely for ever winey is my constant companion. well a lot less these days thanks to the program. Lots depressed tonight and not doing so great so not a good example but normally pretty good. You can do it mate get on board it's a bumpy ride but hell worth it. Kimbo

[sujul]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

Hi David--
So sorry you're feeling sad--and glad you're here with us!

I am a firm believer in "know when to get professional help"! There really ARE some things we can't do for ourselves--and it hurts me to even SAY that!

During a period of abstinence (well, 11 years AF...) I was diagnosed as bipolar...when I relapsed (another 10 years...) I decided that that was bs...gradually I even forgot about the bipolar dx, and I came to believe that only when I was drinking did I feel better....I was taking antidpepressants and benzos (another doctor had dx'ed depression and anxiety) and even though I felt like crap, I felt even worse when I stopped drinking for a few hours or a day....I would wake up in a sweat, terrified of the world...I had difficulty leaving home, would put off making phone calls....even though I was considered a brilliant student in seminary and people were genuinely puzzled about the fact that I was rarely in class and my performance was sometimes erratic...not surprising when you consider I was drinking anywhere from 14-20 bottles of wine a week, plus a few beers and slugs of vodka and a few "recreational" drugs...what is perhaps surprising is that no one except my partner (who had no REAL idea, since I hid much of it) had any idea that I even still HAD a problem with alcohol/drugs....

When I finally mustered up the psychic and emotional strength (desperation!) to go to rehab and had not been drinking for a few days, I was diagnosed as bipolar again....I hadn't even mentioned the past diagnosis since I had forgotten....

I've been on Lamictal and AF for 14+ months now (also on Campral for the first 6 mos--that was a huge help also)....feeling great and reclaiming my life....of course, a few months ago I decided I didn't need the Lamictal--only to discover within a few days that it was actually doing something!

No more antidepressants, no more benzos...

Not saying everyone is bipolar, and not every "professional" knows what they're doing...but GOOD professional help can help you find your way.....

Thinking of you---:l :l :l--and letting you know that there IS hope, even when you're feeling hopeless...stay close here!

[marant]

Depression/Anxiety/Alcohol/Questions 30/6/07

I am not a doctor, just sharing my personal experience as I have had depressions and anxiety for sometime. The best way to get over anxiety and depression is to take a break from your regular schedule, go out, and take good sleep. This helps in clearing the mind and try consulting a specialist who can suggest you as how you can get over your problem. Rather than going on drugs all the time, one should look for the reason behind there problem . Keeping yourself busy and changing the schedule also helps sometimes to get over stress and depression. If this does not help one should surely take some professional help.