A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

[AAthlete]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Doo, it is called 'The Wisdom of No Escape' by Pema Chodron.

[Rocky]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

rus.reference.com/browse/rude">rude, rugged, scurrilous, shameless, sinking, snide, sour, the lowest, touch, treacherous, troublesome, ugly, unfriendly, unpleasant, unscrupulous, vexatious, vicious...FOE.

And it can turn us and all we love into the same thing. Be careful about sugar coating it....Please.

Meditate on this and how much better you will be, can be, and are without it destroying your life!!!

Blessing to all....

[AAthlete]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Rocky, thanks for your post - if things that we post here cannot be open to honest debate than what good is the site?

To me, the words make perfect sense, although maybe for different reasons. I do not deny for one minute that alcohol can be all those things and more.

To me, the choice is, do I let myself be bitter and resentful that I have to fight alcohol all the time and try to deny to myself that I have a problem with it? Or, do I instead accept the fact that I cannot drink alcohol, understand that I didn't cause or ask for it to be that way, and once I am at peace with that reality, let those feelings go?

It's still a difficult concept for me, I'll admit, but it does make sense all the same.

I know that we are striving for the same thing - and thankfully there are many paths to get us there!

[Jacy]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Hey Athlete, What is the title of the book? I used to read meditation books in the past. Maybe I need that back in my life again.

[AAthlete]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Jacy, its listed in the post a little farther up in this thread. I'm finding it very interested and thought-provoking (which is the whole point, I guess).

[ScoobyDoo]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

DoH! That's so annoying when you've spent so long getting it all down and losing it!

Rocky, I think I can see where you're coming from in part although this part of the quote needs to be taken in context with the next part being;

"The gentleness involves not repressing the craving but also not acting out on it. It involves learning how, once you have fully acknowledged the feeling of craving and the knowledge of who you truly are and what you do, to let it go."

I'm reading up on Buddhism at the moment, and it's so hard to put into words, the fundamentals of the lifestyle but I can see that for me, it could free me of negative connotations associated of my past way of thinking and therefore free me up of desire to reach for the bottle in the first place. The meditation alone is doing just that for me. It's giving me a peace of mind and sense of relaxation that I used to try to achieve through a bottle of wine.

So I think the idea is to accept that the craving is happening (at that point in time), but choose not to act on it, and then let the thought go. I tried it yesterday evening and I had an overwhelming feeling of peace and with that came a sense of my power over that thought ie in accepting that it was just a craving and then letting it go.

And Yes, alcoholism is all of those things you mention! I love that list... so very true!

Doo

[Rocky]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

I see more of your thought process AA...Just be careful opening your mind to all kids of other "...isms" to get rid of another "...ism"

Take care all..

[dilayne]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Rocky, I love all the post hear...there are so many levels to understand these words. I look at them through the lense of C. Jung..I think alcoholic behavior is the action of the shadow...our unexpressed and unacknowledged selves..so it's not about sugar coating the dark side, it's about acknowledging that part of ourselves that is crying out for acknowledgement, or looking for escape..or is afraid, or whatever..once you are able to integrate your shadow, the need to 'act out' is reduced..so my warning would be not to try to beat down the 'wolfe'..it's like the bad child who will settle for bad attention over none at all...he'll take it, like we'll take the alcohol... In prayer and meditation, I try to acknowledge that at least God (or higher power, or Buddah, or Jesus..) loves all of me, even the needy little undisciplined child that I am..and that our goal in life is to become one..which starts with integrating all of our split off selves, once we can taste that, desires are naturally diminished...

thanks for letting me jump in...I think all paths lead to God, we'll learn what we have to learn, one way, or the other.
with love,
dianne

[Rocky]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Oh...My...

Shadows??? Split off selves???

The evil shadow is there because of mans sin nature. Yes we should all love the whole person, but not the sin. And respectfully to all ...all paths do not lead to God.

Alcohol is a chemical complex addictive substance, like many drugs...they alter the physical mind and body.

Meditation is fine...my asking all to be wise, and educated in what you take on in the name of meditation is my concern for us.

Be careful that you do not take allegiance to other evils or false truths in the name of meditation and victory over alcohol...

Be careful is all I am expressing... and that's all I'm going to say about that.

[dilayne]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Forgive me, I believe I crossed a line, which would have been better expressed in the 'What we Believe' thread where the context of such discussions are with the understanding that we do have and respect each other's core belief systems...it's always a tricky thing to communicate about..each person's understanding and belief about God, evil and sin is too vasts for any of us to make assumptions...I do conquer, that carefullness is always a good idea.
Namaste!

[irishlady]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

I have to agree with AAthlete and Doo Doo here about cravings and meditation... I started meditating a few months ago and am now in the process of trying to lead a more spirtual life, to be more aware of the now, and to be more aware and knowing of myself.... When I now get a craving, not just for alcohol, but for other stuff as well, I do exactly as Doo Doo described.. I accept the craving, I examine it knowing that I can either act on it or ignore it.. Then I just let it go as you let other thouthts go, and yes, the feeling of peace and power can be overwhelming...

The more I read and learn about the path I have choosen, the more I am filled with the feeling that this is the only way forward for me.. The whole philosophy of Buddishm embraces all the things I have been feeling for years, but never acted on, perhaps the time wasn't right then, but it is now..

Louise xx

[ScoobyDoo]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Irish, your last comment re timing... you took the words right out of my mouth. It's the same for me.

AA, I ordered that book. Thanks for the recommendation!

Doo

[SKendall]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

Satori, I enjoyed your thread. I started reading about buddhism several years ago. In our society I think many of us are raised in a "Walt Disney" scenario where we believe our world should be perfect, Cinderella finds her prince, etc. Buddhism teaches you that life is cruel, but here are the ways to deal with it, rather than the disappointment of believing everything should be perfect and going off the rails at every disappointment.

One of the stories that has always remained with me is this:

A young mother lost a child and after many years and months, could not come to terms with her grief, despite the fact she had other children. She sought out the advice from her monk in the community and he asked her to do just 1 thing. Go into the village and ask for a spoon of tea from somewone who has never experienced loss of a loved one........

Believing that our world should be perfect certainly sets us up for many disappointments, self pity, mind altering substances, etc. I learned a lot from Buddhism, and my life is better because of it.:h

[nancy]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

sugar coating

I don't think buddhism sugar coats things. And remember, craving is a lot broader in buddhism, though obviously we can get a one-track mind about it, it's not about addiction, it just can be applied to addiction. So you can't take it too literally and specifically.

I think the point is that by accepting you have bad things in yourself, a lot of anxiety goes away, the judgement bit and so then the feelings themselves become more bearable. But the philosophy is essentially about not causing harm to anyone, including the self. Like i read a book by a buddhist who tried with all his might to not be jealous but he couldn't do it, so in his meditation he confronted jealousy, he welcomed it into his heart, didn't act on it mind you, and it seemed to lose its power but not go away.

And the philosophy discourages intoxication, because intoxication takes you away from the present moment and from pain, which we all experience. the philosophy tells you to welcome the demons into your consciousness, because the repression becomes a bigger problem than the feeling itself. Intoxication also leads to harming of others. I think it is possible to acknowledge demons and notjudge ourselves TOO harshly because we have them, while also recognizing that we are accountable for our behavior when we are drunk.

i am very new to all this but that is my understanding...

one thing i am unclear on is the idea of the self. we get all wrapped up in our egos and this philosophy seems to discourage that. but i can't quite get it. anyone know what i am hiinting at??

[nancy]

A New Way To Look At My Drinking...

another thought on this

I am really a person who hates anything dogmatic. and i dont want to exchange one ism for another. this is really different. this is more like psychotherapy in my book, only good psychotherapy! There isn't anything bad or controversial in it that i have seen yet. oh, well, maybe if you are raised christian you shouldn't worship idols, but the idolbit in buddhism is not that important, they say you can exchange it for any object of focus.