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    #16
    No help at the doctors

    Hi all - thanks somuch for all the support.

    nancy - I think you are very right - I have been doing much thinking the last few days & I think the relationship I'm in is not very much helping my confidance - he uses my drinking to control situations & I hate to say it but I think he is a bit of a mental bully. He has slowly had an influence in me seeing my friends & family. Even to the point that he doesn't want to talk to my parents & I think he would like that I didn't either.
    I have been to counselling at the end of last year but ended up wrapping it up early as he was paranoid I was talking about him every time I went, it became a big hassle.
    What I've realised though is I think he likes me to have no control over my life so he can call the shots, the exact situation I have ended up in.
    I am going to try & see if we can work it out but if not then maybe I need to be on my own to make a success of this. That hurts.
    I am going to look up the book you mentioned - thank you for that.

    x

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      #17
      No help at the doctors

      Nattie, I am very happy for you that you are taking positive steps for yourself such as getting that book, and also taking time to reflect on the realities for YOU of the situation you are in. I hope you will keep taking positive baby steps forward towards the life you want and deserve.

      ((((Nattie))))

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


      One day at a time.

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        #18
        No help at the doctors

        Wow Nattie,

        I really think it is so unfair for you to give up counseling for your boyfriend. you have said you have depression and you have a drinking problem. He should not stop you from seeking the psychological help you need. I think you should also not avoid family, they may be just the help you need right now. He sounds insecure but that is his problem, you need to do whatever you can to do well. some of the people on this site have had controlling partners and may be able to help you. I don't know him so I can't say whether you just need to reassure him or whatever... i do know nothing should prevent you from getting that help.

        take care and be strong.

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