this is my 2nd day af, hope i can do it. feeling determined. i glad i found this site, i know you are all going to be a massive help to my recovery and i hope to do the same in return. couldn't sleep last night so i was reading lots of threads on here. what a brilliant bunch of people you all are.i was reading a thread by someone called 'makeral' i think, long time abstainer who wanted to try and moderate but it went a bit pear shaped, i haven't seen any recent posts from him. so if your lurking out there makeral hope you are ok and please come back. reading your thread in the early hrs of this morning really shifted something inside me. can't put my finger on it yet, cept that it reinforced my belief that i will never be able to moderate, after trying and failing for the last 5yrs i think i except that now, doh! oh what a monster, powerful monster this disease is. withdrawals aren't too bad, feel anxious and agitated and i know i will get worse before it gets better, however, i feel better mentally prepared at the moment.
well i'm going to hang out some washing and get on with some much needed house work, i've had a very bad year and it looks like a tornado has ripped through my house. time to get things in order in every area of my life one day at a time
i'll keep checking in through out the day when i have ciggy breaks from cleaning, i'm not giving those up yet:H
wrm xx
god bless you all

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