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    #1

    I messed up!!!???

    i ran out of ciggarettes last night so went to the shop to get some and ended up coming home with a bottle of wine. i don't know why, i was doing so well. i feel quite disappointed with myself. i think it might be because i'd started looking too far into the future, i was drooling in the shop looking at the wine. have i been lieing to myself as to how committed i am to going af. so sorry, will i ever beat this? i was feeling so good, i just don't understand why. back to day 1 af.
    i hope everyone else is doing better than me :h
    want
    xxx
    AF since April 8th 2008 :kudos::rays:

    Snake....... come crawling,
    There's fire in your eyes,
    Bite me, excite me,
    I'll learn to realize.

    The poison transmuted,
    Brings eternal flame.
    Open me to heaven,
    To heal me again.
    Tags: None
    #2
    I messed up!!!???

    Yes you will remember Rome wasn't built in a day. IN a rush now speak later.
    Love Paula.xx
    .

    Comment

      #3
      I messed up!!!???

      Are you saying that you were thinking of trying mods in the future?

      At this stage you might have to set a short term target of say a month and stick to it, otherwise the beast will tell you that as you are moderating later it won't hurt if you moderate now!

      yes, you slipped, but slap yourself in the head, kick yourself in the arse and start again today.

      You are going to make this work Want, if it's the last thing I do!!!!
      It always seems impossible until it's done....

      Comment

        #4
        I messed up!!!???

        WRM: In time you will think of the consequences before acting impulsively. Learn from this experience. Ask yourself, "Where did drinking this bottle of wine get me. Is it really worth the guilt and feeling like crap the next day?" Just take on day at a time. The next time you buy cigaretts, get in and out of the store as fast as you can. Don't let your eyes wonder. Dont tempt or test yourself. Go in with one mission in mind, and that is to buy your cigs and go. Forgive yourself and move on. You are human.
        September 23, 2011

        Comment

          #5
          I messed up!!!???

          When I first went AF want, I had to plan everything in advance, very much like a military operation..........I just knew that I had to consider all the possible worst case scenarios that could tempt me to buy booze........and avoid those situations like the plague!! I can happily saunter through the booze aisle in the supermarket now and not feel in the least tempted. However, at first, such a thing would have been unthinkable.........I would break out in a cold sweat whenever I spied booze in a shop, so desperate was I to buy some.

          You have to make it a little easier for yourself, want.......stock up on all you need or want, including your ciggies and stay out of the shops that sell booze for now.

          Am going to run another little thought by you now, want.........hope you`re not offended, and I`m not saying that this is what you did, but.........I remember many a night when I had sworn not to drink, when I had "conveniently" forgotten to buy cigs........then ventured to the shop late, only to return with the cigs AND wine..........just one to watch out for, and an example of just how easily we can fool ourselves.........we are, after all, our own worst enemies where the drink is concerned.

          Wishing you love and renewed strength,

          Starlight Impress x

          Comment

            #6
            I messed up!!!???

            Dear WRM: I slipped on Sunday after over 2 months sober. I've been contemplating why. I didn't want to deal w/myself or anyone else. The trouble is that after the numbness wore off, I did have to deal. Not only that, I had to cope w/my own feelings of guilt & remorse. Good Luck, Mary
            Wisdom, Courage, Strength
            October 3, 2012

            Comment

              #7
              I messed up!!!???

              We who have also slipped (then scrambled back up onto the wagon) salute you!

              I think that the loveliest thing about this forum is its absolute lack of absolutism! Should we abstain totally? Try and moderate? The answers seem to change daily for many. For "just me personally" (as they say) the very act of self-examination, of looking hard at how much I lipped and sipped, has been enormously beneficial. I have no doubt I'll slip and lip and sip again---but I also don't doubt I'll get back on the track of abstaining again. Maybe, who knows, I'll go totally Temperance one day. For now? I'm endlessly grateful that I've kept things in control for 2 months. stopped after one glass here and there (exceptions posted!) and made a commitment to THINKING before DRINKING!
              Jane Jane

              Comment

                #8
                I messed up!!!???

                thankyou all so much for your responses & support. i've kick my butt (not as much as i usually do, not productive). i think i drank because i'd stopped looking at it as 1 day at a time, i was looking too far into the future without alcohol. i had let my mental guard down completely and got caught out. 8 days af is brill for me so i'm just gonna jump back on the af wagon again and remain vigilant 1 day at a time. Starlight you could be right about the cig thing on a subconscious level.
                much love to you all :h
                want
                xxx
                AF since April 8th 2008 :kudos::rays:

                Snake....... come crawling,
                There's fire in your eyes,
                Bite me, excite me,
                I'll learn to realize.

                The poison transmuted,
                Brings eternal flame.
                Open me to heaven,
                To heal me again.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I messed up!!!???

                  That`s the spirit, want.....get yourself right back on that wagon!!!

                  Starlight Impress x

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I messed up!!!???

                    How many of us have been down that road? Myself more times than I care to admit. I find posting/reading/chatting here very helpful. Wonderful people here. The next time I feel I may lapse, I promised myself to post here first (I know I'll get talked out of it and back to where I want to be). We should all do the same and rally behind each other.

                    Aud

                    P.S. My saving grace is that they can't sell wine in the supermarkets, you actually have to go to the liquor store. I used to find this very inconvenient, now I'm thankful!!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I messed up!!!???

                      Well done want on your 8 days,
                      You have some great feedback,I can only say that from my own experience of slipping you can learn something new from it,providing you dig deep.Its a journey of self discovery.I do agree though with the others that you need to find out as much as you can and provide as many resourses,and diversion tactics that you can to support you.
                      Good Luck xx

                      Comment

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