First time user from Australia QLD

[Beatrice]

Hi all i'm new
dont know how do do this, all new to me. I guess my biggest question is how do go you deal with social situations eg. parties. I also have trouble with really stressfull days at work and then have to come home and do another shift work load eg dinner, school lunches, washing etc

[retteacher]

First time user from Australia QLD

Bea: It isn't easy especially at first. I have some AF (alcohol free) parties. I usually try to walk into the party drinking something (e.g. a bottle of water or tea). For me, it's the first few minutes that are the hardest. When the host asks what I want, I usually say I'm okay w/soda, because I feel a headache coming on. Lately, I've been telling people that I've been experiencing more frequent headaches & alcohol aggravates them. After that, I just sit back & try to enjoy the party sober. It takes some time to get used to it, but I'm feeling better & better about it every day. Mary

[Flip]

First time user from Australia QLD

HI Bea! welcome!

I've been sober for just over 10 months now and it really is something you learn and get comfortable with. I won't tell you it was easy in the beginning, because it wasn't. But I tried different ways of doing things, new ways of dealing with things and approached things a little differently.

I avoided social scenes for a while, until I felt up to it. I did feel like I had become a bit of a recluse, but realised fairly quickly that I was drinking when out to ease my anxiety. Once I worked that out I learnt that it was ok to leave if I wanted to, arrrive late, do whatever I bloody well pleased to be honest!

As for the getting home thing - I used to shut the door behind me and open the bottle. I am a single mum, so had to do everything for years and years. I am going to suggest you start getting selfish. Take time out to relax for youself. do something different when you get home to break the routine. Coming here for a catch up is a good start. get a tonic water, or whatever, and sit down instead of trying to fix dinner the minute you walk in the door.

Keep asking questions, it will all get easier.

[Going Strong]

First time user from Australia QLD

Beatrice!

I am glad to connect with you in chat! start looking after yourself................husbands & kids gobble up all our energy so make time for yourself!
Much love

[Cinders]

First time user from Australia QLD

Just to add to what Flip says.

Breaking the routine is critical. I live out of hotels during the week. For years, (ten years of this travel) as soon as I got off work, I would hit the hotel bar. The bar gave me company to talk to rather than staying in my room alone. It also reinforced drinking more and more until... well you guessed it, full blown alcoholic!!

Well. I HAD to break that routine. Period. I cannot go into a bar without wanting a drink and I am very early in my AF days. So, now I go out to a restaurant. (I try to find ones that don't serve liquor...) then I meander around looking at the area.

Then I go to my room and log on here. At least I am not completely alone that way.

I now try to stay at hotels that don't have a bar. That makes the decision really easy.

Anyway, rambling a bit but I guess I am trying to reinforce, change the routine, find something else that does not let you drink to do it. And, have plans in place for when you are unavoidably around alcohol.

Cindi

[Beatrice]

First time user from Australia QLD

Thanks heaps guys. Its amazing i didn't think anyone else was listening. This is the first time i've been in a chat room and of course my husband happened to walk in! I told him to rack off and give me my personal space - he knows i am always dealing with the deamons!

[debruce]

First time user from Australia QLD

Hi Beatrice,
Welcome from a fellow Qld'er (well Northern NSW now, on the border). I am in to my very serious stage now after really blowing it on the weekend. So I am going to have to learn about AF parties etc too. I am now on day 4 AF and coping ok. Not that I want to be completely AF but realise now after trying to moderate that I have no choice. I have restarted the naltrexone last night and am off to a drug and alcohol counceller next week. I have also downloaded the book and have hypno cd's. I am now at the stage where it is either the alcohol or my family.......its that serious. I hope you keep in touch with me as we are only down the road from each other and we can trade our hints for coping.
All the best

[maxman]

First time user from Australia QLD

welcome bea, you have found the right place, stick to your guns and you will be right

[fickle]

First time user from Australia QLD

hey Bea!
am fellow Aussie.. southerner... newish too!
am single Ma of 3, all old enough to give plenty of cheek.
got to admit i'm not so great.. had 7 days under my belt then went to wedding.. gave myself permission to party but am now at home to the damn bills, dishes & drudgery, so am looking at starting all over again. Shall follow your thread & am wishing you luck!

[tawnyfrog]

First time user from Australia QLD

Just saying Hi and Welcome to all the new Aussies.

[trixietrack]

First time user from Australia QLD

:welcome: and keep on posting. I have learned so much about how to take good care of myself here.
no easy task but it;s very possible. :h