Hi All
What a nice welcome I have received, thank you. Have spent a lot of today trying to figure out how this site works, but think I am there now.
Having read some of the heartbreaking stories on here, I feel that my story is a bit trivial, but here goes anyway.
I did the usual college drinking thing, and I even remember worrying back then (13 years ago) that I was drinking too much. After leaving college and going to work, drinking wine was pretty much part of my daily routine, give or take one or two nights a week, but I was happy and had a few good relationships. I was just a normal girl who liked a drink, I thought.
Then I got involved with a man who I allowed to destroy my confidence through a lot of mental torture and I started drinking a lot more - between one and two bottles a night, every night. We split up and my drinking continued. I did a lot of things I regret during that time, mainly sending texts to this man under the influence.
That was two years ago and I have carried on drinking heavily ever since. A few months ago, I met another man, who I was very fond of, but three months down the line, his emotional baggage issues forced us to split, and although that was only a month ago, I have since been drinking more than ever, to punish myself for the way he treated me, I suppose.
The strange thing is, most people in the outside world are unaware of my drinking. I have a good job, I don't drink during the day, except for the odd weekend day, and I am fairly immune to hangovers, so I get through every day, despite feeling groggy and tired. My friends and family know I like a drink, and they do, too, but I don't think they know how much. I lie about it to most people.
So while I was looking at a website yesterday, I came across an advert for this site, and having read lots and lots of the stories, I found myself nodding in agreement throughout, as so many of you are suffering such similar problems.
I woke up this morning and decided that I have to do something, and today is the first day. Although I still have the odd night off the booze, it is rare, and tonight I have come home from riding my horse and I am now on my third cup of tea. I find that if I can just get through that little battle with myself, where my mind says 'go on, have a drink', and tries to justify it, then I accept that I am not drinking and it's liberating.
I am only on day one, so nothing to be proud of, but I am really determined this time. I would love to hear from people, it's great to chat to people about it at last. I wish you all great success in staying AF. I would love to drink in moderation, but I know I can't. Once I have a couple, something completely controls my willpower and I just can't stop. Know the feeling?
All the best
:new: x
What a nice welcome I have received, thank you. Have spent a lot of today trying to figure out how this site works, but think I am there now.
Having read some of the heartbreaking stories on here, I feel that my story is a bit trivial, but here goes anyway.
I did the usual college drinking thing, and I even remember worrying back then (13 years ago) that I was drinking too much. After leaving college and going to work, drinking wine was pretty much part of my daily routine, give or take one or two nights a week, but I was happy and had a few good relationships. I was just a normal girl who liked a drink, I thought.
Then I got involved with a man who I allowed to destroy my confidence through a lot of mental torture and I started drinking a lot more - between one and two bottles a night, every night. We split up and my drinking continued. I did a lot of things I regret during that time, mainly sending texts to this man under the influence.
That was two years ago and I have carried on drinking heavily ever since. A few months ago, I met another man, who I was very fond of, but three months down the line, his emotional baggage issues forced us to split, and although that was only a month ago, I have since been drinking more than ever, to punish myself for the way he treated me, I suppose.
The strange thing is, most people in the outside world are unaware of my drinking. I have a good job, I don't drink during the day, except for the odd weekend day, and I am fairly immune to hangovers, so I get through every day, despite feeling groggy and tired. My friends and family know I like a drink, and they do, too, but I don't think they know how much. I lie about it to most people.
So while I was looking at a website yesterday, I came across an advert for this site, and having read lots and lots of the stories, I found myself nodding in agreement throughout, as so many of you are suffering such similar problems.
I woke up this morning and decided that I have to do something, and today is the first day. Although I still have the odd night off the booze, it is rare, and tonight I have come home from riding my horse and I am now on my third cup of tea. I find that if I can just get through that little battle with myself, where my mind says 'go on, have a drink', and tries to justify it, then I accept that I am not drinking and it's liberating.
I am only on day one, so nothing to be proud of, but I am really determined this time. I would love to hear from people, it's great to chat to people about it at last. I wish you all great success in staying AF. I would love to drink in moderation, but I know I can't. Once I have a couple, something completely controls my willpower and I just can't stop. Know the feeling?
All the best
:new: x
. I didn't get bad until I was around your age. I suffered from depression, low self-esteem ,etc. But I was married to a wonderful,supportive guy, who'd played the role of "caretaker" from childhood (mentally ill mom, horribly messed-up family). It's a very long story, but our seemingly great marriage ended up exploding when my ex basically snapped and all the anger he'd been bottling up for decades came spewing out ... and the fact that I dealt with our marital crisis by drinking did NOT help.
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