not sue this is the place for me?

[Seashell]

I am not drunk right now but have had a couple, and find the supps seem to make it go to my head or is is psychological ?B But a dear friend here keeps encouraging me to go to the docs, and I find myself wondering if i want to. Because the big question is do I really want to stop, or is is that i inwardly know i should stop. what is the difference.?

I recently started a thread with breaking the habit and some very kind minded people came up with some very good ideas as to how to break the evening (my bad time) but i also found my self thinking if i have to take up some of the suggestions I would rather drink!!! I am a very social person and love to be around friends etc.

Just know i am on a slippery slop and wish I could just drink moderately on weekends and social events not every flipping night. Maybe I shouldn't even be here you guys are doing so well and really want to give up.

Oh and dexterhead if your around how you doing ?

[lilnev]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hi Seashell,

I've heard that kudzu can make alcohol "go to your head" faster. Are you taking that?

When I told my doc I was trying to quit drinking, she asked if it was because I wanted to, or because I felt I should. I answered "some of each". But I thought about it, and later decided the answer was "it depends on the timescale". On a long scale I wanted to quit. But then on a particular night, I would want to drink, and not drinking felt like a "should". A big part of my progress has been trying to bring those two timescales closer together, so that not drinking becomes a "want to" even on the scale of one evening. And a big part of that process has been focusing on how good I feel when I don't drink, and remembering that I want to feel that way. I hope that made sense.

peace,
lilnev

[PJ]

not sue this is the place for me?

Seashell, lilnev's right. For some people, Kudzu makes it go to the head faster - supposedly resulting in drinking less over all...???

For me, the answer was easy. I don't want to stop. What I want is for it not to control me any more. Whether or not I should stop or cut back or whatever was just an added motivator.

I've found that for me, planning a stop day in advance and deciding in advance whether I wanted to do 1 day, 3 days, 7 days, etc, helped me to stick with it. Then, during the AF days I plan what my goals are for mods and how I'm going to make sure I stay on track. If I miss the mark, I just pick myself up and start again.

The cool thing about MWO is that it's here to support Your goals. No judgement! If you screw it up (by your standards) then we're here to give you the support to get back up and keep reaching for what you want.

BTW - don't for one minute think: "Maybe I shouldn't even be here you guys are doing so well..." Many of us came here for exactly the reasons you describe, and are here because we're struggling just like you. You can do whever you set your heart and mind to, and we'll support you every step of the way. ((hugs))

[dexterhead]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hi Seashell, it's Dexterhead. This place is for everyone ... and no not everyone is doing so well, certainly not me!!!! even though I keep messing up I keep coming back because I need the support and it helps me feel not so alone. As for me, I'm TIRED of it ruining my life, it's had so many negative effects on every aspect of me, but there's still some twisted part that thinks maybe I should still keep my hand on the wine bottle. So I'm also confused, but my logical part knows what I need to do!
Insanity .. I had two AF days this week and felt SO much better. For absolutely no reason, other than just "hey, i'm feeling good," I bought wine again last night. grrrr...

[dove]

not sue this is the place for me?

I can sympathize

I know how you feel seashell. I've left the group for months at a time because I feel the same way. I feel like people here must be getting tired of me saying 'I messed up.... again'. It is kind of discouraging to know others are doing so well when I can barely make it a day without drinking. Maybe most people just don't post when they are not doing well or have slipped? It is much more appealing to share good news than bad. Maybe that's why we feel like everyone is doing so much better. People here are always very supportive though and I think that if we could stick with this it would help. What can it hurt? Many of us out here are in the same spot you are. Keep trying.
Dove

[trixietrack]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hi seashell what is great about MWO is that it's not just about being dry. I am like you, I have a really big social life and I am also an artist and just about every gathering or exhibit I go to involves drinking. I am out at least 4 days of the week sometimes until very late at night..

I have never had the intention of quitting and I actually enjoy drinking wine with my friends family and colleagues. I just wanted to stay a healthy drinker and knew that if I didn't make a point of being intelligent about my intake of alcohol I would end up in a bad place in the future.
The best thing to find out is what you really really want. being sober 100% is not for everyone, neither is going mods.

good luck

[Bettelove]

not sue this is the place for me?

I'm in the same boat seashell so I know what you mean. I've been feeling the same way all week. Sometimes I've even drank after reading how well everyone is doing and at moments felt hopeless, but there's always somone that says something and it gives me hope so I keep coming back. When people say they've been AF for 5-6 days, deep inside I wish that was me, but I know no one else can put me at 5-6 days AF because I have to do the work. I want to wanted as bad as they want it. Know that you're not alone, many of us feel the same way so don't decide to leave because I know our day will come soon.

[Thankful]

not sue this is the place for me?

Just want to get something straight if I may.

Nobody here wants to have people say they messed up, because we are all pulling for each other to be successful. But that does not mean we don't want to hear from you if you do slip. If you can't tell this group, who can you tell? By you being honest and admitting you slip, you could be helping others to learn from your mistakes.

Every post out there, whether it be of a positive or negative message, is one that people can learn from!! Don't ever be embarassed or ashamed! Hell, we are all human are't we? People are entitled to mistakes. The point is you keep trying.

People here don't care how many times you have to post for help. We are here for you always. We do care when people stop posting. Then the worry and concern sets in. And you certainly don't want to put anybody through more stress then they need right?

Stay with us. You'll find your way.

Love, Me

[Onefortheroad]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hi Seashell, stick at it. I have tried to either moderate or go AF a million times before and always failed. Promise to let you know if I fail again this time as I will need the support of you guys more than ever!!!!

[dove]

not sue this is the place for me?

I'm sorry if I made it seem like it is others fault when I feel dumb for skrewing up agian and stop posting. I know it is just my own guilt that makes me leave. I feel really stupid though when I have to keep posting that I messed up again when it seems like everyone else is doing well. I was thinking seashell might be feeling the same way. I know that I am way too critical o myself and need to learn to knock it off.
Dove

[Guest]

not sue this is the place for me?

I read somewhere that drinking on kudzu might make your BAC higher, that might help some people drink less but that seems logically to me that it would just make me drink more. I really like the kudzu though for being AF. I used it to get though my 39 days Af and on AF days now that I moderate. I have never used kudzu with alcohol and don't plan to, I am always trying to keep my BAC as low as I can.

I may seem like I am doing really well here but what you can't see is the struggle to control my drinking 2 years prior to getting here. In that time I learned alot about what does work and what doesn't work I guess. Nothing against those other programs that I quit, but they just didn't work for me. Too much phychobabble and aim chair phychaitry for my liking.

I like tackling this thing from a physiological perspective at MWO and that seems to be working better so far.

[MDBiker]

not sue this is the place for me?

:welcome: This site is for anyone who thinks they might or do have a problem with alcohol and want to do something about it. It does not matter that people fail. We have all failed. What matters is that we come back and keep trying. I have been on this site for years and I am only now 9 months AF. I had some dry time, and I had a hell of a lot of mis-steps. But the true key is that I did not give up.

I keep trying to learn from the people here and apply it to my life. We are all similar in the fact that alcohol is causing us problmes. People who do not have a problem with alcohol do not understand us. Here (at MWO) you will find people just like you who may offer the little advice that gets you on down the road toward what you are wanting to achieve.

Believe me we are all just getting started. We all understand how you feel. We want the best for you, and want to help you acheive it.

:huggy

God Bless

Bear

[GottaChange]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hi There!

Please dont' go. This may sounds strange, but part of the reason that MWO helps me is to read and post to others who are struggling. It is good for everyone to be able to offer support to others and then be able to think back and apply their own advice to their situation.

I know that so many times it can seem hopeless, but it isn't-it just can't be. This website is a life line for me and so many others-it can be yours too.

There are so many aspects to this site, you just have to give it a chance. Also, make sure you are taking advantage of the search aspect of this site. Many time old posts can be found that can help as well.

Good luck!
-GTC

[Seashell]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hi
Once AGAIN thank you this site is awesome. You are all so forgiving. I now have new goals to aim for and I think more obtainable, you very no they may lead me on to future goals. My new goal is not going to be today I am giving up it is going to have at least 3 nights a week off -Dexter head how about you giving it a go?

ps you can tell when i have been drinking I die when i see my spelling and typo's !!!! lol

[rustop61]

not sue this is the place for me?

Hey guys

Please dont go. So many of us have been in the same place as you are now. I joined in 2006. I took the subs but not the topa, did the cd's, did my 30 days AF. Tried moderation, failed, back again. Did another 30 days and slipped again and stayed away for nearly a year. I have been back since September and while not 100% AF, am now stringing 30 days together at a time. This is somebody who drank every day for 12 years!! We are all doing it our way. There is a great thread over in newbies, one day at a time, ODAT. A lot of us check in there every day, our goals are all different but doing it ODAT. Come join us.

Rustop