New here

[Bambi]

Hi, don't know where to start.

I am a functioning stay at home drunk Mom I guess you could say. I never ment it to start out that way it just grew into that. Now I have a husband who doesn't like me and two kids who it is affecting. I am scared. Why can't I be normal. I like my life I just seem to need to add the beer (my choice of drink). My husband doesn't drink unless we go out which might be twice a month. I would love to get to that point and just drink then, not when I am at home alone.

My kids are teens so they are in school all day. We live in a small town not alot to offer as far as part time work or volunterring........I have really messed this up this time. I keep saying that I want to quit and then the next day I am back to buying more. Where do I start? I can go a few days without then I get bored, want to relax or have the added pleasure while I do my cleaning, laundry.

My Husband has tried to be so supportive but after so many years of this I think I kill something inside of him each time I go on a major binge. He isn't even speaking to me at the moment........I know I have hurt them but I hurt inside too!

Reading all the posts does give me hope!

Thanks for listening.

[Croft]

New here

Boy, have I been there with the not-speaking hubby. Don't worry, this too will pass.

You have come to the right place. I can so relate to where you are. I have only been here a few weeks and although I am AF yet, I am doing so much better.

Keep coming back. Do what you need to in terms of supplements - Kudzu is pretty good and drugs if you need them. Keep trying. Don't beat yourself up. Stay positive. Go read the post called _Stop Beating Yourselves Up. There are rules for survival.

You can do this. Everyone here will root for your, support you and cheer you on.

[Cinders]

New here

Bambi,

:welcome:

Unforunately, alcohol is like that. It sucks us in, slowly at first and suddenly one day we wake up and realize we have lost control over it. We crave it and want it despite its destructive hold on our lives.

Please read the MWO book, consider the supplements, they really do help an incredible amount - even if you don't buy them from MWO - although they are a very good buy here, and they ease a lot of the physical cravings.

However, it is still a struggle and that is why this forum is here.

So, again, welcome, good luck and glad you are here.

Cindi

[Accountable for Me]

New here

:welcome: Bambi!

Glad you found us.... so many of us have been where you are. Just know there is hope - there is always hope! You will find tons of support here.

I completely understand the being at home mom, and being bored... although I was drinking before I became pregnant, once I was at home with her, I started to fill in the voids with alcohol. It only escalated from there.

There are a lot of us here, that will completely understand what you are going through.

Keep posting, and I hope you will stick around. :l

[southernbelle47]

New here

:welcome: Bambi
I do understand...I'm a stay at home mom also.
My kids are grown now and it is even harder to fill the time.
My hubby's hobby is making wine! He drinks almost everyday and it is so accessable...Yuck! I'm ok as long as its not blackberry.

We garden and I do some needle work. What do you like to do?
How about some women's groups at a local church ?
Can you volunteer at the kids school? Or maybe a nearby nursing home or hospital?
I drive twenty five mile into the closest small town to work out at a fitness center. h2o class and treadmill mostly It is so worth the drive.
You have made a good first step in saying you need help. It's here and you have the power within yourself to make things different.
Keep reading and get some of the supps and drink water...gallons of water.:l Nancy "Belle"

[selkie]

New here

I don't feel so alone

Hello all-

I just fell off the moderation wagon last night and didn't even remember insulting my dearest friend. Ugh-I just feel awful and I had been doing pretty well. Just feel so sorry and regretful.:argh: Reading your mesages everyone just seems so supportive and kind. My friend has forgiven me but I can't forgive myself....but I don't feel so along when I come to the forums.

Have been visting the site for a week or so but don't see my posts up--anyone there that can help?
Selkie

[bald headed old guy]

New here

Bambi,
Welcome! to the best site on the planet for support! (the preceeding was not a paid commercial). I was close to where you are a few weeks ago, when I found this site...life had gone way downhill. Wonderful helpful people on here...most of them have been as bad or worse than I have been, so they were able to offer kind words and good advice..all of which helped. Be sure to check out the chat room; I know for the first few days when I would want to pick up a glass I'd go to the chat rooom instead and find domeone to talk with, it seemed to help a lot.
Also, some of the people on here have had good results with the suppliments, and some with dr prescribed meds also information on here regrding the different meds.
Hang in there! check back here often. There is a good thread in the "just starting out" board called ODAT that might be useful to you!
HUGS You Can Do This!
BHOG

[Lotus]

New here

Bambi

Welcome to MWO.

I'm sorry to hear about your hubby not talking to you - I'm sure things will settle.

I'd suggest you get started by reading the book. I've lost count of the amount of times I've tried stopping drinking and then go back to where I've started. The main thing to remember is never to give up.

Is there not any social groups that are local or maybe doing a part time course at college or maybe studying from home.

Also remember that if you ever feel the need to chat there wil always be someone here.

Hope to hear more from you.

[toughintexas]

New here

I'm sure most of us could've written your note at one time or another, or yesterday even...this is the greatest place ever...I got here March '07, and altho I've struggled, and slipped, and then stood up and marched, none of it would ever have been possible without this site, people and support...I agree with the others, download the book, and get the supp's, and stay on here, go to chat, etc....and DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS, that was a biggie for me, find anything to do, except pop the tab....if you have to do Meals on Wheels, a soup kitchen, work at the humane society, whatever, just change your ROUTINE...its a habit, and you have to break the familiar...start going to the gym at the time you usually drink, etc...you'll feel so much better about yourself, that's a motivator in and of itself....Glad you found us, and your hubby will be ok, you can always show him your post, and our replies....Prayer helps too....you got some from here in Texas....

[Thankful]

New here

Bambi, welcome. Good job asking for help. It's a big step.

I too drank alot out of bordom. Then I kept telling my self, I'm going to be bored whether I drank beer or some other non-alcohol drink. Think about it. Unless you change your routine you will always be bored, beer or not. So far, my routine change is spending a lot of time here. It helps. I will be finding new things to do soon, but for now this works. Day 35 af for me.

Another thing that helped tremendously is drinking non-alcohol beer. Beer is my drink of choice too and I would never have made it this far without O'douls. It really has helped with the cravings. Try a NA beer and see if it helps. Keep in mind that there are a lot of them, so if you don't like one, don't give up. A lot of people don't like O'douls, but it works for me because I drank lite beer anyway. So if you drink a heavy beer now, you may need to try a NA St Pauli or something along that line.

Good luck! We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[Bambi]

New here

Thanks for the welcome

Thank you all for the warm welcome. I have read the book and ordered some of the supps froms this site. Others I could get in town. I am anxious to try them and know that alot of it will need to come from with in also. Will power has never been my strong suit but hey I am willing to give it a go. I am tired of hurting and tired of seeing the hurt in my families eyes.

I do know that I need to find something to do during the day and hopefully that will come with self esteem. I believe I lost that along the way with friends and such. I find it much easier to stay at home in my comfort zone.

I love reading all the wonderful support on this board you all give each other. Congrats on the success each of you has found.

Hugs,
Bambi


Selkie: Welcome, hope you are having a better day. I am not sure how to find your old posts so don't know how to help you with that. Try again. That is all we can do! Don't give up!

[maasai]

New here

bambi, you've just come to the right place, do not look down on yourself since its not your wish that all the bad things are facing you right now, the alcohol in you is the bad thing here, not you, again join us and for sure you will find how better your situation is compared to others there and here and this will get you moving, WELCOME BAMBI

[Cinders]

New here

selkie;263876 wrote: Hello all-

I just fell off the moderation wagon last night and didn't even remember insulting my dearest friend. Ugh-I just feel awful and I had been doing pretty well. Just feel so sorry and regretful.:argh: Reading your mesages everyone just seems so supportive and kind. My friend has forgiven me but I can't forgive myself....but I don't feel so along when I come to the forums.

Have been visting the site for a week or so but don't see my posts up--anyone there that can help?
Selkie

Selkie,

:welcome:

I saw just this post.

Perhaps you are not waiting long enough after you hit submit? Sometimes when I hit submit I get "page no displayed" and have to back arrow and resubmit.

Glad you are here!

Let us know if you need any answers.

Cindi