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    #16
    Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

    replace drinking

    Allie - The fast is actually called "Master Cleanser" and it was developed by Stanley Burroughs - he has a book about it on Amazom you can look at.

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      #17
      Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

      Re: replace drinking

      Thanks so much everyone for your heartfelt replies, they really made me feel alot better. And Allie I also liked your analogy, as well as your mention that we have to have faith, without demanding evidence, that there is a $100 life waiting if only we will trust!

      I also have found that walking is very important to my mental health. I just wish it would get a little warmer, but this morning it really felt good to get out there in the fresh, early air and just breathe. I need to remember that...one of my favorite things to do is go hiking in the summer, I can just lose myself in the rythm of it.

      I think Jane mentioned the ipod? That's funny, because my husband also got me one for my birthday two years ago, but I can't listen to it recently because the music on there makes me want to drink! I know that sounds odd but it's true. I have downloaded some audio books onto it though, those are great.

      My other problem is that I also have a whopping case of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). According to my doctor, that may be much of the reason that I started drinking in the first place (apparently this is often a sign of the disorder, as undiagnosed ADHD sufferers find alot of relief by self-medicating with alcohol). Being medicated for that (I take ritalin) has helped immensely. If it weren't for that medication, I would probably have drank myself into complete oblivion by now. Like my medication, alcohol does serve to slow down my thoughts to a level where I can calm down and concentrate on something (and unfortunately, alcohol is more pleasant and lasts longer). Without it, I am a total basket case, flitting from one thing to another in a constant state of agitation. It's really awful. Anyway my point is that there are a limited number of activities that I can enjoy because of my problems concentrating -- for instance I cannot watch television, but I can walk. What I'm getting to is that if I am pregnant, I am also going to stop taking my ritalin. I really don't know what will happen to me then, it frightens me. I also know that the odds are very good that my child will also have ADHD, unless he/she lucks out. OK well I'm babbling again! Thanks again everyone.

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        #18
        Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

        Re: replace drinking

        I have been doing alot more reading of novels in the evenings now. Its easier to do while not drunk Probably because I am neither passed out nor blurry-eyed. I find this replacement for drinking quite pleasurable. I read 2 whole novels last weekend. Reading 2 childrens books per evening to my 5 year old used to be my limit many nights previously.

        Maria, the fast sounds really interesting. Let us know how it goes. And Maria: Not to suggest you should dwell on a slip if you dont want to , but did you see the trigger worksheet I posted?

        I was just thinking regarding the bookclub slip, maybe you'd find benefit from it. Usually with some introspection I find there are certain feelings or thoughts that lead up to a slip. Like beliefs about things......

        . For example, I wont be interesting to my guests if i dont drink. It just wont be fun cooking pasta if I dont drink a bottle of wine while doing it,.... or irrational thoughts like, sure I can stop at one drink (like I never have before in a certain setting proved by history). Or other feelings of discomfort over what someone said, or something that happened earlier.... etc, etc. The worksheet allows one to analyze the slip and think through alternative ways to have handled the situation for future reference.

        PS: One time I went to a book club and spilled red wine on the hostess' brand new expensive rug. I spent alot of time apologising and scrubbing it, and wondering later what they thought. I am glad this is all behind me.

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          #19
          Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

          ADHD

          Sylvia,
          Something you said startled me.. I read in research about 'leaky gut' syndrome and it was the first time I'd heard of it so I went on to research it on the net and did a google search on healing leaky-gut because it sounded a bit like me.
          While researching I happened upon a website:
          www.healing-arts.org/children/ADHD/treatments.htm
          where they talk about healing leaky gut through diet as a treatment for ADHD and other things. There are other sites with similar info if you do a search.

          I have started to believe that diet, depression & ADHD and alcohol use are all interrelated along with blood sugar problems & cravings, moodswings etc.. there are even connections with bipolar & asbergers. I decided to start with a diet designed to heal leaky-gut while i'm waiting because my biggest trouble is my emotions.
          I'm just beginning and am experimenting.. but started a thread called "Depressed... Waiting..." if you're interested. The diet is helping.

          Best of Luck,
          MFM

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            #20
            Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

            Hi Sylvia,
            Read your letter and I can totally understand about the fears and anxiety what will life be like sober. Will I still be in love with my spouse ? Will they still want to be with me ? If I'm sober. Well the answer to that is yes if they love you unconditionally. But the thing you have to remember for everything to be successfull you have to love yourself by doing that , everything will fall in place where it needs to be. If not you will have a new journey that will be of soberity for you. On the other hand about the movie love it hard to watch sometimes. But if you are pregant than it should helpyou as far as what her children had to put up with from their mom. Being a drunk and the abuse that she did to them. I also back in 1999 had gotten pregant for the second time and wasn't happy about it at all. For same reason I didn't want not to give up drinking . well,I ended up not having to worry about it because I misscarried the baby. So I wish you the best in your outcome and it will be alright. Thanks for letting us talk it helps myself. have a nice day to all who reads this.

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              #21
              Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

              Wow thank you so much MFM, I will go and have a look at the leaky gut information right now! I also believe that the depression, drinking, ADHD, hypoglycemia -- they are all very interrelated with me and it is extremely frustrating. I have often wondered - what if all of my problems are actually something quite simple, like a food allergy? If only I could find out what it was.
              So I am definitely willing to give it a shot. Will post back more when I've read the information, thanks again!

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                #22
                Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

                Cut & pasted this from 'Best of the Boards' It just seems so relevant.. Great posts by HadEnough:

                "Motivation is one of those very elusive forces of nature. Have you ever noticed how quickly motivation can change? How one minute you're feeling incredibly stopped or ambivalent about something, and then all of the sudden something just 'clicks' in your brain and you feel like you can do anything? And how if someone asked you to explain why it changed, you'd probably not be able to, but if they asked you what changed, you'd probably say your motivation.

                "As I was thinking about your question I googled 'motivation' and something interesting struck me. Here's a definition I came across: "Motivation is based on emotions, specifically, on the search for positive emotional experiences and the avoidance of negative ones, where positive and negative are defined by the individual brain state, not by social norms."

                "Seems to me you already have motivation. The problem is, your motivation is to drink. I know this is fairly obvious, but sometimes we see everything but the elephant sitting in the middle of the room.

                "Drinking makes you feel good. It plays on that emotion which says 'this is positive, not negative' because it takes away the stress of motherhood, the stress of the job, the stress of money, the stress of daily life...that is until you stop drinking. So the question for you may really be "how do I get my brain to go 'click' and turn my motivation around from wanting to drink to wanting to not drink." I won't lie, if the answer were easy, we'd have far fewer problem drinkers in this world.

                "The first step is by far the most critical, and your success in everything that follows depends on it. Stop hating yourself for drinking. I've said it before, and some people are probably sick of hearing it, but I'll say it again, because it's true. The self-loathing of alcohol abuse is as toxic as the alcohol you are ingesting. And, it is the worst kind of vicious circle. You hate yourself for drinking, and so you drink to escape the fact you hate yourself. Then, you wake up and hate yourself even more. And so you drink even more. It spirals and spirals and spirals, and you end up with a life you never intended to lead, and a body that lets you down.

                "I'm convinced that if you can learn to forgive yourself for being a problem drinker, you've conquered at least half the battle. Forgiveness gives you the room and permission to start anew unburdened by past transgressions and hopeful towards the future. It is no small, easy task, but a necessary one on the road to sobriety.

                "It's great that you're still taking your supplements, and you know that you need to exercise and listen to your CDs. But none of us are 'personal trainers' that are going to be able to come to your house and make you do these things. You know that you simply need to make (and then stick to) a schedule to do them. It really is that simple. And, I grant you, that hard. Before I started exercising again I used to look at my Stairmaster like it was the devil incarnate, just wishing it would be swallowed up whole back into earth that spawned it. But I also knew exercising would make me feel great and I wouldn't regret getting on it, and the only thing holding me back was me. So dragging myself kicking and screaming I got on it. And sure enough, I'm working out all the time now, and loving the endorphin rush. I feel strong and happy and young. Not bad for a piece of equipment that almost got branded with 666, huh? ? "

                Love to All
                MFM

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                  #23
                  Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

                  good drinking alternatives i've enjoyed: good movies (netflix is great for this!); exercise - yes! good ol' endorphins; being with people i enjoy; good reading; good eating. pretty basic stuff. i feel blessed to be able to still find the beauty and enjoyment in those simple things. i know it's not always easy. alcohol is a shiny shiny lure (with a honkin' hook).

                  i'm glad a few of you have mentioned hypoglycemia. i am sure it's a big part of my own drinking issues. so many times at the end of the day i'd guzzle beer knowing darn well that i was just truly hungry. sometimes i'd purposely not eat so i'd crave the alcohol and enjoy it more. sure enough, alcohol is swooped into the bloodstream as sugar faster than any other, especially when there's no food in the belly! it amazed me ten thousand times how my craving for alcohol virtually vanished when i ate.

                  there's a book called seven weeks to sobriety written by a woman whose son died very young of alcoholism. she just couldn't understand it, did a heap of research, and found hypoglycemia to be at the root of many drinking problems (the majority??). her book recommends vitamin and nutrition therapy. according to the book 'her' treatment center has about a 70 percent recovery rate, compared wtih the average 30 percent. most centers do nothing with nutrition, which is insane, after all it's our bodies we're dealing with here, not just our minds!!

                  i know there was so much else i had to say, but i've got to run and make my miso soup with extra protein (chicken), so i don't fall down crash boom from lack of sugar. a week ago, i would've been full of beer by now most likely. but i'm pregnant, and happy -totally relieved- to say that it's not even a consideration. sylvia, i think you'll experience the same kind of corner-turning WHEN you get pregnant. meantime, keep your belly full if you think it will help. who knows, though, for you a fast might do the trick. we're all unique, aren't we?!

                  xoxo onoclea

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                    #24
                    Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

                    Yep, I am totally convinced that 90% of my problem is sugar related Onoclea.. Have to run now but will post more later.
                    Love
                    MFM

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                      #25
                      Will anything ever replace drinking for me?

                      I worry about this too, given how much a part of my life drinking has been. But it has also been a huge partner in many of my regrets. I try to keep in mind something my Mom said to me when I stopped smoking. She said "You'll like NOT smoking too". I think I'll like not drinking

                      Jane

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