Tool box

[Roadside]

Tool box

[QUOTE= M & M's =QUOTE]
Yes, my psychiatrist suggested having sweets to curb cravings because it is possible my body craves simple sugars (which beer and wine readily provide). Apparently it works for some!

[NoSugar]

For easy access to an interesting article:

This thread is pretty quiet lately and that's fine as long as we all are doing well and actively engaged in maintaining our sobriety but... are we getting bored with it? I know I find that I'm better off when I'm challenging myself in one way or another. I certainly wouldn't trade in what I have now for the "excitement (??) " of the early days of being AF but the intensity of all that was its own kind of reward for me. (Maybe I'm some kind of challenge-junkie ). I read this article on the subject this morning and this is the explanation given for why people lose motivation:


The Reasons People Lose Motivation in Long-term Recovery

There are many possible reasons for why people lose motivation after they have been sober for a few months or years. These are some of the most prominent:
* Memory can be treacherous for people who are recovering from an addiction. This is because the memory of how painful things were in addiction can diminish over time, and the individual can start to spend a great deal of time thinking about the times they felt good because of alcohol or drugs. This is known as romancing the drug or drink, and it can cause people to lose their motivation to stay sober.
* When people enter recovery with expectations that are unrealistic, it can lead to disappointment, and this saps motivation. The individual did not make a mess of their life overnight, so they will not be able to repair the damage overnight either. By giving up alcohol or drugs, they will be taking a significant step towards a better life, but there will be more work that needs to be done.
* Those individuals who were highly enthusiastic in early recovery can run out of steam. This is particularly likely to happen if they the individual went through a period of pink cloud syndrome. This occurs when people become so high on life in recovery that they lose touch with reality. Staying sober becomes easy, and the individual begins to take their sobriety for granted. When the pink cloud ends, people can come back down to earth with a bang. They can become disillusioned with life in recovery.
* Some people just lose their way in recovery. They get caught up in life and they forget to keep on doing the things that is helping them to build a successful recovery.


So, GLoamers, are y'all MOTIVATED? What do you do to stay that way? Or if you're not, maybe you could tell us what is going on and we can brainstorm ways to get fired up again.

Have a great AF weekend, everyone. xx NS

[NoSugar]

For easy access to an interesting article:

This thread is pretty quiet lately and that's fine as long as we all are doing well and actively engaged in maintaining our sobriety but... are we getting bored with it? I know I find that I'm better off when I'm challenging myself in one way or another. I certainly wouldn't trade in what I have now for the "excitement (??) " of the early days of being AF but the intensity of all that was its own kind of reward for me. (Maybe I'm some kind of challenge-junkie ). I read this article on the subject this morning and this is the explanation given for why people lose motivation:


The Reasons People Lose Motivation in Long-term Recovery

There are many possible reasons for why people lose motivation after they have been sober for a few months or years. These are some of the most prominent:
* Memory can be treacherous for people who are recovering from an addiction. This is because the memory of how painful things were in addiction can diminish over time, and the individual can start to spend a great deal of time thinking about the times they felt good because of alcohol or drugs. This is known as romancing the drug or drink, and it can cause people to lose their motivation to stay sober.
* When people enter recovery with expectations that are unrealistic, it can lead to disappointment, and this saps motivation. The individual did not make a mess of their life overnight, so they will not be able to repair the damage overnight either. By giving up alcohol or drugs, they will be taking a significant step towards a better life, but there will be more work that needs to be done.
* Those individuals who were highly enthusiastic in early recovery can run out of steam. This is particularly likely to happen if they the individual went through a period of pink cloud syndrome. This occurs when people become so high on life in recovery that they lose touch with reality. Staying sober becomes easy, and the individual begins to take their sobriety for granted. When the pink cloud ends, people can come back down to earth with a bang. They can become disillusioned with life in recovery.
* Some people just lose their way in recovery. They get caught up in life and they forget to keep on doing the things that is helping them to build a successful recovery.


So, GLoamers, are y'all MOTIVATED? What do you do to stay that way? Or if you're not, maybe you could tell us what is going on and we can brainstorm ways to get fired up again.

Have a great AF weekend, everyone. xx NS

[sammynorm]

I find my 'program' goes through phases. A few months ago a drink sounded like a good idea. And I realized I'd 'forgot' to do the things I do to stay sober.
Meetings is one thing, reading recovery books helped for a while (intellectualizing), this online stuff helps too.
Lately I seem to be finding less meetings makes me feel better and more onlining is helping. When I was trying to get sober I participated in the 43things online Stop and Quit Drinking threads. I was still active there my first year or so of sobriety, then I guess I trailed off, now it seems I like the online help more again.

One thing I've learned is that every phase of this is different, and different for everybody. The big thing I think is to keep in contact with other staying-sober folks whether online or meetings or however. So you don't forget that you have this problem and pick up that first drink.

[sammynorm]

I find my 'program' goes through phases. A few months ago a drink sounded like a good idea. And I realized I'd 'forgot' to do the things I do to stay sober.
Meetings is one thing, reading recovery books helped for a while (intellectualizing), this online stuff helps too.
Lately I seem to be finding less meetings makes me feel better and more onlining is helping. When I was trying to get sober I participated in the 43things online Stop and Quit Drinking threads. I was still active there my first year or so of sobriety, then I guess I trailed off, now it seems I like the online help more again.

One thing I've learned is that every phase of this is different, and different for everybody. The big thing I think is to keep in contact with other staying-sober folks whether online or meetings or however. So you don't forget that you have this problem and pick up that first drink.

[Byrdlady]

I find my 'program' goes through phases. A few months ago a drink sounded like a good idea. And I realized I'd 'forgot' to do the things I do to stay sober.
Meetings is one thing, reading recovery books helped for a while (intellectualizing), this online stuff helps too.
Lately I seem to be finding less meetings makes me feel better and more onlining is helping. When I was trying to get sober I participated in the 43things online Stop and Quit Drinking threads. I was still active there my first year or so of sobriety, then I guess I trailed off, now it seems I like the online help more again.

One thing I've learned is that every phase of this is different, and different for everybody. The big thing I think is to keep in contact with other staying-sober folks whether online or meetings or however. So you don't forget that you have this problem and pick up that first drink.

Sammy, Matt M said over in the Newbie's Nest the other day, "I'm 100% sure I can't do this alone". That is so true. We have all tried. Come join us over in the nest (link is in my signature line). I believe the key to recovery is the ability to he coachable. What's the use of a support group if you don't take the lessons on board? Come on over, someone is always home! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

I find my 'program' goes through phases. A few months ago a drink sounded like a good idea. And I realized I'd 'forgot' to do the things I do to stay sober.
Meetings is one thing, reading recovery books helped for a while (intellectualizing), this online stuff helps too.
Lately I seem to be finding less meetings makes me feel better and more onlining is helping. When I was trying to get sober I participated in the 43things online Stop and Quit Drinking threads. I was still active there my first year or so of sobriety, then I guess I trailed off, now it seems I like the online help more again.

One thing I've learned is that every phase of this is different, and different for everybody. The big thing I think is to keep in contact with other staying-sober folks whether online or meetings or however. So you don't forget that you have this problem and pick up that first drink.

Sammy, Matt M said over in the Newbie's Nest the other day, "I'm 100% sure I can't do this alone". That is so true. We have all tried. Come join us over in the nest (link is in my signature line). I believe the key to recovery is the ability to he coachable. What's the use of a support group if you don't take the lessons on board? Come on over, someone is always home! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Blog post by Carrie Armstrong from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/carr..._2760742.html:

I don't like it when I hear people talking about "giving up" drinking.
I don't like it because it doesn't really work.
It's not about sacrifice. The very term "giving up" alcohol I take issue with. Nobody "gives up" drinking, the same way nobody gives up at a traffic light when it turns red. You just stop. Can you imagine if we used this type of terminology whilst driving? Spending hours a day giving up to and from work? We'd all be permanently knackered. Defeated by our own journeys. Is it not slightly worrying that we give more care to the language we use in relation to the vehicles we drive than we do to our own bodies?
Stop Drinking. Stop. It's not even an action is it? It cessation of action, It's switching focus. Replacing the old action of drinking with other new actions. Giving up does more than simply imply that we have stopped a course of action. It infers that there is no more action to come. No stop, so no start. And that is where we are going about recovery in a horribly wrong way. From a massively flawed premise. I've given up drinking so my life is over, versus I've stopped drinking so therefore I'm deliberately starting living instead.
It is important. It is really important. Because when we feel like we've given something wonderful up, that our life will not be as good as everyone else's, those lucky ones who get to still participate in something we have denied ourselves? We harbour feelings of entitlement. That now we have decided to stop f*cking our life up with our drinking we are owed something in return. That the world should give us a break. Be nice to us. That we are suffering and should be rewarded for our gallantry. It won't happen. It can't happen. Because it isn't true. This realisation can be very disappointing. And that disappointment? Just brings a bigger sense of lack and emptiness. Until giving up on giving up seems the only available option. A very easily excused and readily justified option too. And so back to drinking we go. Relapse in full swing, ready to begin that vicious cycle again. And again.
Unless we die obviously. There's your stop without lack. Or is dying too strong a word? Would we prefer "giving up" living?
Recovery is not a sacrifice. It is empowering. An exciting and wonderful journey. The most amazing thing a person can do for themselves. And I never expected it. Never knew it could feel like this. Certainly nobody told me it could be this way. Alcoholics waste years on drinking. On being anesthetised by our drug of choice. We've missed so much of life. All of us. Recovery does not have to be about missing out on even more by spending our new sober life either commiserating with other people who also think they are also missing out, or by spending it shut away from the world out of fear. Fear that our self-discipline is not strong enough to fight the need to drink. More mistaken thinking. Nothing about being recovered needs to be about lack.
My heart breaks for people who have felt the need to "battle" with sobriety. Whether they have lost the battle and gone back to drinking like the 95% we are so often told do. Or whether they continue to battle-like the elusive 5% who stay in recovery-but still feel vulnerable to relapse, or bereft without alcohol. Never feeling fully free and really, truly alive when it is so very easy to do so.
I do believe being recovered is beautiful. And permanent. I do believe we can all have it. Easily. Joyfully. Comfortably. I believe in a world where recovered people are happy. I think we all deserve it. And I think it starts with something as simple as the words we use. Giving up nothing. Choosing more. Choosing a life of passion. Of reaching beyond everything we've ever assumed was possible. A miraculous life filled with inspiration. With love, fulfilment. To me that's what recovery is. And who wouldn't want live in a place like that?
Home.

[NoSugar]

Blog post by Carrie Armstrong from Please Don't Give Up Drinking | The Huffington Post

I don't like it when I hear people talking about "giving up" drinking.
I don't like it because it doesn't really work.
It's not about sacrifice. The very term "giving up" alcohol I take issue with. Nobody "gives up" drinking, the same way nobody gives up at a traffic light when it turns red. You just stop. Can you imagine if we used this type of terminology whilst driving? Spending hours a day giving up to and from work? We'd all be permanently knackered. Defeated by our own journeys. Is it not slightly worrying that we give more care to the language we use in relation to the vehicles we drive than we do to our own bodies?
Stop Drinking. Stop. It's not even an action is it? It cessation of action, It's switching focus. Replacing the old action of drinking with other new actions. Giving up does more than simply imply that we have stopped a course of action. It infers that there is no more action to come. No stop, so no start. And that is where we are going about recovery in a horribly wrong way. From a massively flawed premise. I've given up drinking so my life is over, versus I've stopped drinking so therefore I'm deliberately starting living instead.
It is important. It is really important. Because when we feel like we've given something wonderful up, that our life will not be as good as everyone else's, those lucky ones who get to still participate in something we have denied ourselves? We harbour feelings of entitlement. That now we have decided to stop f*cking our life up with our drinking we are owed something in return. That the world should give us a break. Be nice to us. That we are suffering and should be rewarded for our gallantry. It won't happen. It can't happen. Because it isn't true. This realisation can be very disappointing. And that disappointment? Just brings a bigger sense of lack and emptiness. Until giving up on giving up seems the only available option. A very easily excused and readily justified option too. And so back to drinking we go. Relapse in full swing, ready to begin that vicious cycle again. And again.
Unless we die obviously. There's your stop without lack. Or is dying too strong a word? Would we prefer "giving up" living?
Recovery is not a sacrifice. It is empowering. An exciting and wonderful journey. The most amazing thing a person can do for themselves. And I never expected it. Never knew it could feel like this. Certainly nobody told me it could be this way. Alcoholics waste years on drinking. On being anesthetised by our drug of choice. We've missed so much of life. All of us. Recovery does not have to be about missing out on even more by spending our new sober life either commiserating with other people who also think they are also missing out, or by spending it shut away from the world out of fear. Fear that our self-discipline is not strong enough to fight the need to drink. More mistaken thinking. Nothing about being recovered needs to be about lack.
My heart breaks for people who have felt the need to "battle" with sobriety. Whether they have lost the battle and gone back to drinking like the 95% we are so often told do. Or whether they continue to battle-like the elusive 5% who stay in recovery-but still feel vulnerable to relapse, or bereft without alcohol. Never feeling fully free and really, truly alive when it is so very easy to do so.
I do believe being recovered is beautiful. And permanent. I do believe we can all have it. Easily. Joyfully. Comfortably. I believe in a world where recovered people are happy. I think we all deserve it. And I think it starts with something as simple as the words we use. Giving up nothing. Choosing more. Choosing a life of passion. Of reaching beyond everything we've ever assumed was possible. A miraculous life filled with inspiration. With love, fulfilment. To me that's what recovery is. And who wouldn't want live in a place like that?
Home.

[NoSugar]

A high-energy day (21 October 2014) in the NN to check out: https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...=1#post1570923.

[NoSugar]

A high-energy day (21 October 2014) in the NN to check out: Newbies Nest - Page 5437.

[Sco]

I'm so glad I found this thread. It has so much useful advice that really makes sense to me. Thanks so much.

[Sco]

I'm so glad I found this thread. It has so much useful advice that really makes sense to me. Thanks so much.

[little beagle]

The Monster Beside Me

My addiction to alcohol is like a monster that walks beside me day and night. Jealously stalking me.Constantly wanting to isolate me and keep me to itself. Bullying and cajoling at me insistently to do that one thing that keeps it strong. It's one bloodshot, porcine eye intently focused on my consumption of alcohol, it's all consuming desire.
Just one drink, it insidiously whispers. Just one! it screams, pinching at my determination with it's long talons blooded from many past battles, hitting at me in my weakest moments, constantly nipping at my consciousness with venomous, blood soaked teeth, cutting to the quick of my very soul. Disturbing my peace of mind, stealing away all serenity from my life, always looking for a way in. Trying to wear me down daily,hourly, minutely. Even invading my dreams to steal away my life restoring rest.
But I am stronger then it is. And I am determined. I know how to put that monster in it's place. This monster and I have an inversely related relationship. The stronger I am,the weaker it becomes until it is a weak, ineffectual infant ranting and raving, waving it's tiny fists in my face. And as i would an infant, I dismiss this wanton display of aggression for I do not fear the the punch of a mere babe.
And inversely the weaker I am the stronger it becomes until it once again takes over my whole existence once again covering my soul in it's entirety until there is nothing left of the person I once knew as ME.
Which choice will i make each time my senses are accosted with this vulgar display of emotion?
I choose to remain STEADFAST to myself, strong in the face of this gauntlet I must trudge through. Beating the odds, empowering myself everyday. Through the power of my community and the help of my friends and family I expose that monster to the light of day, robbing it of it's power. By working at this everyday I have managed to shrink that monster down until only a fraction of that once insurmountable obstacle remains.
Yes I will carry this monster with me to the end of my days, but as I am now the strong one and it is the weak one, this huge, overpowering monster is now just a remnant of the powerful beast that once ruled my life.

[little beagle]

The Monster Beside Me

My addiction to alcohol is like a monster that walks beside me day and night. Jealously stalking me.Constantly wanting to isolate me and keep me to itself. Bullying and cajoling at me insistently to do that one thing that keeps it strong. It's one bloodshot, porcine eye intently focused on my consumption of alcohol, it's all consuming desire.
Just one drink, it insidiously whispers. Just one! it screams, pinching at my determination with it's long talons blooded from many past battles, hitting at me in my weakest moments, constantly nipping at my consciousness with venomous, blood soaked teeth, cutting to the quick of my very soul. Disturbing my peace of mind, stealing away all serenity from my life, always looking for a way in. Trying to wear me down daily,hourly, minutely. Even invading my dreams to steal away my life restoring rest.
But I am stronger then it is. And I am determined. I know how to put that monster in it's place. This monster and I have an inversely related relationship. The stronger I am,the weaker it becomes until it is a weak, ineffectual infant ranting and raving, waving it's tiny fists in my face. And as i would an infant, I dismiss this wanton display of aggression for I do not fear the the punch of a mere babe.
And inversely the weaker I am the stronger it becomes until it once again takes over my whole existence once again covering my soul in it's entirety until there is nothing left of the person I once knew as ME.
Which choice will i make each time my senses are accosted with this vulgar display of emotion?
I choose to remain STEADFAST to myself, strong in the face of this gauntlet I must trudge through. Beating the odds, empowering myself everyday. Through the power of my community and the help of my friends and family I expose that monster to the light of day, robbing it of it's power. By working at this everyday I have managed to shrink that monster down until only a fraction of that once insurmountable obstacle remains.
Yes I will carry this monster with me to the end of my days, but as I am now the strong one and it is the weak one, this huge, overpowering monster is now just a remnant of the powerful beast that once ruled my life.