Hello
I was in a 10 month relationship that I now realize was abusive. He would defame my character by calling me a liar, accusing me of contacting men (which I was not). He accused me of lying when both of my parents had freak surgeries in one week. On a day when my grandfather had a stroke, he thought I was lying and took another girl out that night (we broke up for the weekend then). On other occassions he offered to help me with my house and got me nice gifts or did nice things. He'd apologize after his rage outbursts. He walked out on me at multiple restauarants and used what I shared with him against me. We had a traumatic and violent ending.
But I find myself missing what I thought was his good side and I am tempted to reach out. Its only been a week since the violent ending. I know I can't and shouldn't and I won't. But I can't rationalize why I'd even want to give him the time of day. I still have bruises from the ending. Why can't my mind stay focused on all the many times and reasons we broke up vs the few good times?
He had a screaming match with my father on that last day so there is no going back. I'm stuck in a cycle of abuse and I can't get out of it.
I was in a 10 month relationship that I now realize was abusive. He would defame my character by calling me a liar, accusing me of contacting men (which I was not). He accused me of lying when both of my parents had freak surgeries in one week. On a day when my grandfather had a stroke, he thought I was lying and took another girl out that night (we broke up for the weekend then). On other occassions he offered to help me with my house and got me nice gifts or did nice things. He'd apologize after his rage outbursts. He walked out on me at multiple restauarants and used what I shared with him against me. We had a traumatic and violent ending.
But I find myself missing what I thought was his good side and I am tempted to reach out. Its only been a week since the violent ending. I know I can't and shouldn't and I won't. But I can't rationalize why I'd even want to give him the time of day. I still have bruises from the ending. Why can't my mind stay focused on all the many times and reasons we broke up vs the few good times?
He had a screaming match with my father on that last day so there is no going back. I'm stuck in a cycle of abuse and I can't get out of it.