Help me

[Sundog]

36 year old male. Married to a beautiful woman and have an adorable 2.5 year old son. Good job. Why do I drink? I think about it all the time. Feel guilt for it all the time. Hide bottles in my house. I feel like I'm a slave and I have no idea what to do. I have everything to live for but I have this need to drink booze.

Why can't I stop... or should I say.... what is going to have to happen to me before I stop? A car crash? Loss of employment? My wife leaving?

I want to get it under control. I feel like I enjoy it too much to give it up (beers during football, wine with the old man, cocktail after a round of golf etc.... even though I usually have a half mickey in the golf bag)

What is wrong with me? What can I do? I went to my GP pretty candid about my drinking and he ordered an MRI of my abdomen (code name=liver) and when it came up ok I celebrated by drinking a lot.

Alcohol has become such a part of the social fabric that I can't think of just saying "I will never drink again".

Is there hope for me?

Thanks for reading.

Sundog

[startingover]

Help me

Hello Sundog, welcome to you!
Your first step is great, admitting that there is a problem. Now, how to control it? Well, there are a number of ways. Some people can learn to moderate their drinking. There are threads here that you can join and get support from those people who do. You will find them in the Moderator sections of the board.
Myself, I cant moderate at all, I have tried and tried and I always end up worse than I was before. So for me its abstinence. I was one of those who thought I could never enjoy life without alcohol. But I do, I am happier now than I have ever been. Yes, there are still problems but dealing with them sober is SO much easier.
So my advice to you would be to read the book My Way Out. You can download it from here cheaply or get it from Amazon. There is lots of sound advice in there to get you started.
So put a plan together for yourself and grab all the help and support you can.
Dont wait until something dreadful happens because you can be pretty sure it will and you really dont want to go there.
Good luck!! Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[witchywoman]

Help me

hay Sundog, '
we have all been there, but you have taken two very important steps, you spoke to your Dr, & you are here looking for support which tells me that you really want to take back control of your life, I was in a similar situation, I have a life that makes me happy (apart from drinking) & i still havent figured it out totally why i drank(see below), but as long as i keep moving forward towards my goal, i'm happier, i am also much happier now that i'm not drinking. tell me what do you want your son to remember about his childhood, the times his dad spent with him teaching him stuff, playing games together, building snowmen or what I remember from my childhood when my Dad got home, the clinking sound as the whiskey bottle hitting his glass, then how my stomach would tighten cause I knew what that sound ment, it ment the dad i loved was going to turn into a self pitying mentally/emtionally abusive man I didnt love, so it has left me conflicted about love. i hope i havent come across to harsh, i have forgiven my father mostly, I cant blame hime cause i dont what his childhood was like & how far back do i lay blame, I want to let go & move forward. please keep posting, let us know how it goes.
good luck

[Sundog]

Help me

Thanks for replying.

I don't know whether to try X amount of days sober or trying the usual Monday-Fri program that always fails mid-week.

Abstinence just seems like a distant land that I'm scared of. So much of my life is around alcohol and despite all the negatives, I really enjoy the alcohol sponsored fellowship with friends and family. I just take it to the next level by supplementing the good times with moments by myself with a bottle of something.

I want to change, I just don't want the world to know that I'm an alcoholic and am seeking help.

[Determinator]

Help me

Sundog, welcome to a great community! 38 yo guy here. you are already showing you are brave in coming here. it's quite sad that society has this horrid stigma regarding alcoholics.
not to be an alarmist but the liver scans and blood tests will generally show ok up and until the point of no turning back. The liver is such a tough organ that it tricks most testing methods until the bitter end.

regardless of how nice the drinking rituals are, being alive for your child is much more important I'm sure. So....can you moderate effectively? you can find out pretty quick by keeping a careful and honest log of your drinks. I haven't had a drink since Feb 7th of this year and I can honestly say I don't remember feeling this good.

look forward to getting to know you...and again.... welcome!

[UKSean]

Help me

Your not alone Sundog

First of all mate, you have done the best thing you can do.. you are asking for help.
All those awful things you talk about ie, crash, loss of job, loss of family dont have to happen. You need to ask yourself, Do I really want to quit? If you truly do then there are things you can do. First of all, Do you have health insurence were you work? Will it cover a treatment plan? Are you willing to admit you have a problem and get the treatment that it sounds like you need(dont meen to be judgementle) Never mind thinking of quiting forever lets try quiting for an hour , then try another hour and then try to get through 24 hours and use this time to seek out professional help. It's not the end of the world mate, in fact it could be the start of a better life. I will check back every 1/2 hour and if you have questions just ask I will be here for you.
I have been where you are and I know what its like. I have been sober 15 mths now and was just like you.
So post away mate I will be here ok?
Sean..

[Pink Princess]

Help me

Sundog this is my first post. I saw this website advertised on a newspaper link about Gazza. I too have alcohol issues and now feel that it is time to confron them and go alcohol free. I never seem to last longer than three days though. Let's try together.

[Bella]

Help me

Welcome Sundog...There is always hope. You must decide whether you really want to stop ..then use the tools here on MWO and go for it. All the best Bella XXx

[IAD]

Help me

Sun dog, Us guys are all a bunch of dogs when you think about it. Have it made family wise , with a good job, etc.....and we're not satisfied until we screw that up with booze. You've come to the right place, all types here..........real pro's, been there and done that. Good advice can be had here ! Welcome Sun dog ! IAD

[Seacailin]

Help me

Welcome Sundog
You do not have to lose it all. I did that and it is not pretty. I have lost numerous jobs, homes, relationships, even my freedom. I went to jail as a result of my drinking. I have been in psych hospitals and rehabs. All of these things could be waiting for u. You can put a stop to it now. You may be able to Mod. I know that I cannot. I do wish you well. Please let us know how we can be of help.

[Bella]

Help me

I often wonder what has to happen in order for me to stop drinking....lose my family, my sanity? I too have ended up in hospital a few times due to alcohol abuse... I cringe when i think of the ward i was put in....anyway, dont lose the wonderful things you have.....just so you can drink...it just aint worth it. Bell XXX

[brightlite]

Help me

Sundog, I'm not new to the site, but on day 3. I do know this...AL will eventually trip you up somewhere, someday. I have witnessed first hand the progression AL takes. Yes, I'm trying to get a grip on my addiction because I know it will eventually make me crazy and or dead. I have to remind myself that staying sober is nothing to take lightly and must be protected. AL is a nasty beast that will drag you down. Be cautious and vigilant.

[nancy]

Help me

Hi Sundog

I know what you mean about the camaraderie and how much a part of society alcohol is.

I am wondering why you choose to focus mostly on the things you like about it in your first posts. What are the bad things that brought you to this site and fill you with fear? Seems like you are more wrapped up in the illusions than the realities.

Determinator is right about the liver damage.

Also, I would like to ask you this, sure, it's hard to imagine a lifetime without alcohol but a lot of people find success tackling the challenge in bits, like one day at a time.

One of the best ways to succeed is to get some success under your belt. Would you consider trying 30 days alcohol free? It's a great time of year to do that because lot's of people are doing detoxes after the holiday excesses. When you feel your mind clear, it's a great incentive to have more abstinence time and then you learn you can live without it.



Nancy

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Help me

Hi Sundog! :welcome:

What a wonderful name you've chosen for yourself and a great first post. It's nice to meet you.

I agree with Nancy, your first post has the glamorization of AL all over it. What about the bad times? The hangovers, the shame, the guilt? Without even knowing you, I know that is a part of your life, too. Doesn't that suck?

You've been given some incredibly good advice here, I'd take it. I'd also take this one day at a time. Continue to post. Continue to read here. We are friendly and non-judgmental in any way.

One thing I'd like to add. I'm 47. When you hit your 40's, buddy, your body doesn't put up with the same old abuse over and over. I don't care how much you might exercise or anything, you're messing with your major organs: liver, kidneys, heart, pancreas. When you hit your 50's they will begin to fail. Period.

We're here for you. I hope to read more of your posts and look forward to get to know you better.

Take care of yourself, :l
Becoming

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Help me

Pink Princess, I see you've posted twice on threads. Could you start your own thread in the Starting Out to intoduce yourself? You'll get more responses and we love meeting new people. :l

Be