New and need support

[Lou]

Hi there,

Ive just found this site today and i have to say that it is such a relief to realise that there really are other people out there just like me.
Ive never tried anything like this before or spoken to anyone about the extent of my drinking, It's getting out or control now and I'm beggining to scare myself...I'm 29 and I hate being so weak, I've tried to stop but its never lasted more than 2 days..then the shaking, sweats, terrible muscle pains and really manic thoughts get to much for me to be able to function normaly.I've gone from 2 - 3 bottles of wine a day to a bottle of vodka a day and theres a very good chance that im going to lose my job because my drinking has really affected my attendance, if this does happen i know ill just start drinking more to block out any reality
I've been taking prozac for clinical depression for the last 7 wks but i fear that my drinking is stopping it from working i also fear that my doctor would not take my depression seriously if he knew about my drinking.
I really want to get this under some sort of control and sort my life out. I would really appreciatre any feedback, advice.

Thanks Lou x

[deanie]

New and need support

New and need support

Welocome Lou,

I for one know you have come to the right place. I am on day 16 and have found encouragement, support and hope on this site. I visit the site often for the comraderie and insight. If you are able, download the book asap. I did that and starting reading it day one. I went out to a health food store and bought all the supps I could. I ordered tha All In One and CD's as well. I have been faithfully doing all, including the exercise. It is not always easy...but I promise...it does get better. Be gentle with yourself and surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Take time to just be. Lean on us here. Post and read, read, read. I know you can do this. How do I know, because I was where you are just a short while ago. And now I have clarity and peace of mind I haven't had in years!

Big Hugs,

Deanie

[Newyear]

New and need support

Hi Lou-

I'm not is a great position to give advice, but we are here for you and will be here to listen anytime you need to talk.
The best thing you can do is what you are doing now- talking about it - at least to people on this site -and doing something to make things better for yourself.
It has helped me tremendously just talking about how drinking has affected my life and hearing other people's stories. There is a lot of information here too that might help you decide how you want to try to combat your issues....everyone is a little different.
I'm thinking good thoughts for your and I will for the rest of the day. I'll think hmmm....wonder how Lou is doing right now??!! Write back and let me know how your day went ...ok??
Be good to yourself today.

Lisa

[Bambino]

New and need support

Hi there Lou

I joined this site on wednesday and this is my 4th day off the alcohol after many attempts of trying. I was in the same boat as you - I drank from when I got up and didn't feel ok until about 3 in the afternoon. I was drinking 4 bottles of wine a day . I was scared of giving up again because of the withdrawals - if I tried without meds - just cold turkey and the last time I did it I was in hospital after 3 days psychotic and hallucianating badly. Each time I tried going cold turkey the hallucinations waould come 3 days after my last drink but each time they got worse and worse. My doctor has prescribed Librium, and I have had no shakes, sweats thowing up or anything right from the word go. (which was wednesday ! )
I don't know if you are as bad as I was but if you are, and you can't function without being ill, then I would definitely suggest that you think about Librium. it is a godsend for me.
I lost my job 3 yrs ago - I was a financial Underwriter and i lost my driving licence through drink driving and got 3 yrs ban - so because I live quite a distance from myworkplace I had to give up my job. I had just moved in with my husband - he was my fiance then and it was a totally new area, worse af all my husband was working in London monday to friday so i was on my own - which was crap, although I could drink to my hearts content without reproach... Because I couldn't drive, I couldn't go to see my mates or my mum and dad anymore on my own steam so I got more and more depressed - sat at home - drinking more and more. We live in an area where I NEEDED to drive to pursue my career. I could have got a job in the corner shop or something ( to proud - wot a dick' ed )- but hey - pride comes before a fall - and i fell from a great height - believe me. Got licence back now so things hopefully are on the up.
Take a look at other peoples posts, it dependnds if you want complete abs or just moderation. i have read about topa and campral which I had never heard of before but a lot of people find that this works for them I have found out from reading this site.
It really is an excellent site with loads of help, support and advice.
Everybody is ACE on here and I feel that I really can do it now with their help.
Be strong and don't be scared. There is always someone to talk to here.
i wish you loads of luck and am sending you a big HUG :l
Where are you from? I'm from Cheshire and it seems that there isn't any support for us alckies here. Even the doctors frown upon you, so reading peoples experiences has made me realise that I'm not a leper and that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel.
Lots of love
Bambino
xxx
:h

[Lou]

New and need support

Thank you Deanie and Lisa,

Its so nice to find out that people do care..i intend to read everything i can and continue to post and seek support as i start my journey.
It's so scary but it really helps that i have found people that i can talk to with out feeling ashamed of what i am..even saying that is scary.

Lou x

[Lou]

New and need support

Bambino,

Thank you for your advice re the librium, i have thought about it and i really do think that it could work for me. But I'm from the wirral and as you yourself have said there doesnt seem much support here, im scared that if i go to my doc and say i have a problem and ask for librium that he'll be cross because i didnt tell him about my drinking when he prescribed my prozac 7 wks ago...what if he feels that im just wasting his time and thinks im pathetic. I'm signed off with depression at the moment and if that was changed to alcoholism then i can definitley kiss my job goodbye, i dont even know if they can do that?!!
I'm just so confused an desperate at the moment... this has to stop but like yourself my side affects are to severe for me to deal with and i dont want family members to know about them, i live with my poorly gran whom i look after which to be honest doesnt help either cause i have so much time on my own to drink.
Oh i dont know...maybe im just looking for obsticles cause im too weak to stop. I have half a bottle of vodka left and like every night have promised my self that i will not give in and buy more tomorrow...but the pain was so bad today that i had to...i lay in bed from 3 till 10 the morning sweating, shivering, in physical agony and having the most horrid thoughts and i just couldnt stand it anymore. My symptoms are quite severe after only a few hours and like yours continue to get worse, I've never gotten to day 3 i always give in after 1 or 2 but i've no doubt that with my history of mental health problems and the severity of the other side effects that i would go through what you did, This petrifies me.
I'm so sorry bout the essay, its just so nice to finaly be able to speak about all this. Do you have any advice on how i could approach my doc? would be really appreciated.

Thanks Lou x x

[Bambino]

New and need support

Lou,
OHMYGOD - I'm from the Wirral too How bloody weird . Been spking to people all over the world and you and I are plastic scousers !! - Hee Hee - Live in Warrington now - Job was in Chester - how bloody weird. How old are you? I'm 35. I'm reticent to tell you anymore because of the shame - but I suppose we are in the same boat, so what the hell. I'm from Willaston lived there all my life until I was 21 then went back at 27 - was drinking then and had to stash bottles in my wardrobe - was only lambrini at the time, but it's hard to smuggle bottles out of the house , especially with my eagle-eyed mother !!!- my mum and dad still live there - so you can see how difficult is was for me to get around without a car, stuck out here in Warrington.
I know about the waking up shaking and sweating - I used to get restless legs in bed that wouldn't stop moving - and as for those horrible thoughts that makes your tummy turn over - well they were there until the drink kicked in - about 3pm.
I have been on prozac and I think it was called citalopram ( but that might be wrong ). I found that they didn't work and came off them - this was about 4 yrs ago - it's only dawned on me recently that the alcohol probably negated the effects of them. I would definitely go back to the doctor. Just explain that last time you went , you went to ask for help with drinking but felt embarrased - they won't think bad of you. If all else fails just turn on the waterworks and say - I NEED YOU to help me. The time before last I went and didn't ask outright for Librium and came away with some cream for my face !! Wot a joke !!! This time I just said - I NEED to give up and if I do it alone then I will be in hospital again. I think if you show that you are desperate and at the end of your tether then they are obliged to prescribe you. You may have to attend an alcohol counselling session - but it's just you and a woman and you just tell her how much you drink etc. But be truthful with the doctor about how much you drink - I know it's embarrassing but he needs to know how serious it is and that you seriously want to stop.
Those shaky mornings and bad feelings go away immediately as soon as the Lib kicks in. You only take it for 10 days. They gave it to me in hospital because my GP wouldn't prescribe it so it's standard procedure for withdrawing.
I wouldn't stop on my own if you are drinking 1 bottle of vodka a day -that's just in my horrific experience. Make an emergency appointment on monday and get down there.
Keep reading all of everyone's posts - everyone is here to help one another. I'm so glad I found this site - You will be too.
Send me a msg if you need to.
Take care Lou - going to bed now - but been drinking coke all day - bad idea - all caffeined up !!! Might watch a bit of tv first.
Oh - and I reckon the cd's and books will be excellent - i've read nothing but really good things. I ordered them on thursdaycan't wait for them to arrive.
Sorry for the long ( yawn yawn ) essay !! I can't half talk !!

night night chick :l

[Bambino]

New and need support

Sorry - me again
Just remembered. - I mentioned depression on tuesday at the docs and she said to get the drinking under control first and then will prescribe anti-depressants if I need them . - So I think they realise that they often go hand in hand. Oh and by the way, they can't tell your employer about anything like that. - only if your employer specifically asked for a your medical records - and what's the chance of that? Just thought that might help.

Deffo going now ... ha !

[Lou]

New and need support

Bambino,

You sweetheart..you do understand me v well, tis nice to have that. I have to go docs for follow up on tues so i will be a v brave girl an jus tell him everything, i s'pose at the end of the day if its gonna help me then what do i have to lose. How strange to find another plastic scouser on my first day..could be an omen...im 29 and im from bebington, my problems escalated almost exactly the same way yours did. I moved in with my ex who lived on croxteth country park and i didnt drive and was betwen jobs for 6 months. so i lost a lot of touch with my family and friends because i was so isolated...and the drinking escalated, not been able to get myself back since (just posted on my story if your intersested in my whole sorry tale!). How strange to come across you straight away. anyway missus, you have given me hope an i sincerely do not think ill be out buying that bottle of vodka tomorro, an dont be reluctant to tell me anything. as you said were in the same boat...cept your doin a bit better than me!!
Anyways thank you so much for all your lovely words...dont wanna sound corny but i do feel a tad better already x

Hope you aint to caffeined up to sleep... ill prob still be here if you are!!

Night night missus, an thank you again x x

[Bambino]

New and need support

Still here !!

What I did, to come down from 4 bottles, I cut down last week so that I was actually on 2 bottles, so I had sort of slight withdrawals over last weekend cos I wanted to get the librium on tuesday and then a complete stoppage of going from 4 to 0 wasn't such a shock on my body. It seemed to work cos on wednesday when I took my first one, I didn't have any w/d at all. I couldn't beleive it. I'm just shit scared of keeping it up. I've ordered Kudzu from this site as well as the book and CD's so I HAVE to make a proper go of it this time. The Kudzu is supposed to alleviate the cravings so I'll give that a whirl. If you can stand it then try and give up tomorrow, but I reckon you should try and do it gradually, if only one less glass than the night before. I started getting really paranoid and apart from the doctors I hadn't gone out of the house. i just lazed around watching daytime tv. Even put off making a buttie ( not that I wanted to eat ) so that I didn't have to interrupt my wine. I used to carry my glass around with me all over the house. i felt anxious if there was less than 2 bottles of wine in the fridge. Instead of it being a buzz anymore and dancing around the house in my fuzzy glow, it started to become a horrible paranoid world full of self loathing . I can't do that anymore Lou. This is my last chance - otherwise i might as well just give in.
God I've gone all depressive now.
Are you still up?

[Bambino]

New and need support

Still here !!

What I did, to come down from 4 bottles, I cut down last week so that I was actually on 2 bottles, so I had sort of slight withdrawals over last weekend cos I wanted to get the librium on tuesday and then a complete stoppage of going from 4 to 0 wasn't such a shock on my body. It seemed to work cos on wednesday when I took my first one, I didn't have any w/d at all. I couldn't beleive it. I'm just shit scared of keeping it up. I've ordered Kudzu from this site as well as the book and CD's so I HAVE to make a proper go of it this time. The Kudzu is supposed to alleviate the cravings so I'll give that a whirl. If you can stand it then try and give up tomorrow, but I reckon you should try and do it gradually, if only one less glass than the night before. I started getting really paranoid and apart from the doctors I hadn't gone out of the house. i just lazed around watching daytime tv. Even put off making a buttie ( not that I wanted to eat ) so that I didn't have to interrupt my wine. I used to carry my glass around with me all over the house. i felt anxious if there was less than 2 bottles of wine in the fridge. Instead of it being a buzz anymore and dancing around the house in my fuzzy glow, it started to become a horrible paranoid world full of self loathing . I can't do that anymore Lou. This is my last chance - otherwise i might as well just give in.
God I've gone all depressive now. This
Are you still up?

[Bambino]

New and need support

Still here !!

What I did, to come down from 4 bottles, I cut down last week so that I was actually on 2 bottles, so I had sort of slight withdrawals over last weekend cos I wanted to get the librium on tuesday and then a complete stoppage of going from 4 to 0 wasn't such a shock on my body. It seemed to work cos on wednesday when I took my first one, I didn't have any w/d at all. I couldn't beleive it. I'm just shit scared of keeping it up. I've ordered Kudzu from this site as well as the book and CD's so I HAVE to make a proper go of it this time. The Kudzu is supposed to alleviate the cravings so I'll give that a whirl. If you can stand it then try and give up tomorrow, but I reckon you should try and do it gradually, if only one less glass than the night before. I started getting really paranoid and apart from the doctors I hadn't gone out of the house. i just lazed around watching daytime tv. Even put off making a buttie ( not that I wanted to eat ) so that I didn't have to interrupt my wine. I used to carry my glass around with me all over the house. i felt anxious if there was less than 2 bottles of wine in the fridge. Instead of it being a buzz anymore and dancing around the house in my fuzzy glow, it started to become a horrible paranoid world full of self loathing . I can't do that anymore Lou. This is my last chance - otherwise i might as well just give in.
God I've gone all depressive now.
Are you still up?

[Bambino]

New and need support

Still here !!

What I did, to come down from 4 bottles, I cut down last week so that I was actually on 2 bottles, so I had sort of slight withdrawals over last weekend cos I wanted to get the librium on tuesday and then a complete stoppage of going from 4 to 0 wasn't such a shock on my body. It seemed to work cos on wednesday when I took my first one, I didn't have any w/d at all. I couldn't beleive it. I'm just shit scared of keeping it up. I've ordered Kudzu from this site as well as the book and CD's so I HAVE to make a proper go of it this time. The Kudzu is supposed to alleviate the cravings so I'll give that a whirl. If you can stand it then try and give up tomorrow, but I reckon you should try and do it gradually, if only one less glass than the night before. I started getting really paranoid and apart from the doctors I hadn't gone out of the house. i just lazed around watching daytime tv. Even put off making a buttie ( not that I wanted to eat ) so that I didn't have to interrupt my wine. I used to carry my glass around with me all over the house. i felt anxious if there was less than 2 bottles of wine in the fridge. Instead of it being a buzz anymore and dancing around the house in my fuzzy glow, it started to become a horrible paranoid world full of self loathing . I can't do that anymore Lou. This is my last chance - otherwise i might as well just give in.
God I've gone all depressive now. This bloody
Are you still up?

[Bambino]

New and need support

Still here !!

What I did, to come down from 4 bottles, I cut down last week so that I was actually on 2 bottles, so I had sort of slight withdrawals over last weekend cos I wanted to get the librium on tuesday and then a complete stoppage of going from 4 to 0 wasn't such a shock on my body. It seemed to work cos on wednesday when I took my first one, I didn't have any w/d at all. I couldn't beleive it. I'm just shit scared of keeping it up. I've ordered Kudzu from this site as well as the book and CD's so I HAVE to make a proper go of it this time. The Kudzu is supposed to alleviate the cravings so I'll give that a whirl. If you can stand it then try and give up tomorrow, but I reckon you should try and do it gradually, if only one less glass than the night before. I started getting really paranoid and apart from the doctors I hadn't gone out of the house. i just lazed around watching daytime tv. Even put off making a buttie ( not that I wanted to eat ) so that I didn't have to interrupt my wine. I used to carry my glass around with me all over the house. i felt anxious if there was less than 2 bottles of wine in the fridge. Instead of it being a buzz anymore and dancing around the house in my fuzzy glow, it started to become a horrible paranoid world full of self loathing . I can't do that anymore Lou. This is my last chance - otherwise i might as well just give in.
God I've gone all depressive now.
Are you still up?

[Bambino]

New and need support

Still here !!

What I did, to come down from 4 bottles, I cut down last week so that I was actually on 2 bottles, so I had sort of slight withdrawals over last weekend cos I wanted to get the librium on tuesday and then a complete stoppage of going from 4 to 0 wasn't such a shock on my body. It seemed to work cos on wednesday when I took my first one, I didn't have any w/d at all. I couldn't beleive it. I'm just shit scared of keeping it up. I've ordered Kudzu from this site as well as the book and CD's so I HAVE to make a proper go of it this time. The Kudzu is supposed to alleviate the cravings so I'll give that a whirl. If you can stand it then try and give up tomorrow, but I reckon you should try and do it gradually, if only one less glass than the night before. I started getting really paranoid and apart from the doctors I hadn't gone out of the house. i just lazed around watching daytime tv. Even put off making a buttie ( not that I wanted to eat ) so that I didn't have to interrupt my wine. I used to carry my glass around with me all over the house. i felt anxious if there was less than 2 bottles of wine in the fridge. Instead of it being a buzz anymore and dancing around the house in my fuzzy glow, it started to become a horrible paranoid world full of self loathing . I can't do that anymore Lou. This is my last chance - otherwise i might as well just give in.
God I've gone all depressive now.
Are you still up?