Newbies Nest

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Australia- day 1 here you go and you should be excited about it! Don't forget that we have all had slips. 1 order of butt velcro coming up! You'll feel so great and even more proud of yourself when you pass 45 days, WHICH YOU WILL! Stay strong and use that slip as a lesson. You know you can do this and we know it too :-)

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

UW- congrats on day 55! 5 more days and you will you reach your next goal!!!! How excited are you???

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

good Sunday morning. Hi Kuya - looking forward to getting to know you..and you sufi. Loved your poem also.

I felt a little nauseous a little while ago when I thought of how I'd be spending a Sunday one year ago....I would have been drinking already....spend the day in a haze. I don't get it...there was nothing enjoyable about it at all.

Australia...the key is how you respond now...and look at you. You're right back here. Don't give in and get back on the hamster wheel....stay here and be proud that you had the good sense to see it for what it was worth and return here. :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Jenn, nothing like a trip down the stairs to make you reflect. I was leaving a dinner party on Christmas night 2005 and fell in my sock feet. I broke my tail bone in 2 places and 3 ribs. There's nothing they could do but prescribe pain pills, which I happily took and drank on top of. Then I developed a hip problem as a result of the fall and had surgery on it 4 years ago. Fast forward, it still hurts. It's a grim reminder of what stupid things I did. I didn't learn from my fall, but I hope you can from yours.
If I hadn't walked a mile in the AL shoes, I'd sit back and say why the hell can you go X amount of days and then think it's a good idea to have a drink? One of my lowest points was when I had reached 12 days, 12 BIG DAYS!! unheard of, for me....and had gotten to 8 o'clock that night (considered to be over the hump by me) and my hubs went down to check something on his computer and I grabbed a mug of wine and chugged it down. WTF???? Why did I do that?? Of course, that derailed me for weeks...this is a damnable disease. What I have found is that like a spoiled child, you have to tell yourself NO. NO, HELL NO! Sometimes it seems impossible to do, but the more you do it the easier it gets. I am still getting my thoughts together about how to post 'what clicked this time'. What I'm thinking is that everytime I quit, I fully inteneded to stop. Every time I quit was THE ONE. The thing that changed was that over time....after I got thru the 13 days....once I got to the 30 days, then 60 and finally 100, I saw my friends giving in and the posts they would put up after a fall, broke my heart and scared me silly at the same time. There wasn't anything magic about my last quit, except that each day I didn't drink I got a little stronger, until I had an investment in my quit and in my friends. And I saw the heartbreak and how bad it derailed them to give in. At long last, I was able to NOT learn something the hard way. I listened to friends on this site. Every day you don't give in makes you stronger. Nesters, back me up here, but if you have a really bad day, you find the next day is good...RARELY did I ever have 2 bad days in a row...(alcohol-wise). And then it evens out around that 100 day mark. Little ups and downs....but nothing I can't handle.
Why do we drink when we know we shouldn't? If I had that answer I'd have Oprah money....I just know we do. But if you really fight it, and hang on until the next 15 mintues, you will be that much further ahead of the Beast. The Beast WILL win if we don't cut off his food source. He will win over us....the only way to not drink is to not drink. Plain and simple. Byrdie

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

Byrdie -- You were wondering what clicked for you this time. It is really a good question. That got me thinking. I know that for me it really has taken me a long time to quit and it wasn't just one single moment or thing that "clicked". I had started thinking about quitting some time ago and really just said I'am ready after tons of thinking about it. What really convinced me though is that I wanted to quit and couldn't. I knew I had a problem because I simply could not stop doing it. That in itself made me more determined to do it. How can something like this have so much power of us? What made the overall difference was (like you) coming here and making a commitment to everyone here and having the support of other people who understood me so well. I had to let it out there and this was the only place I felt comfortable doing that. Once I took that first leap, there was no going back. It was hard because I wasn't sure if I could trust my emotions to an internet site, but I have really met and corresponded with people that have become very important to me. My feelings about this site are real and perhaps fragile, but that is important to. I can live with that. I have faith that this time I get it. I am not going to predict the future and that is where simply living life is one day at a time. But, that being said, I am definitely not an ODAT person about being sober, it has to be "forever" for me.

Also, after 100 days, it is easier and it is "just not doing it". One of my favorite things to remember is our thoughts are not our actions; they are simply thoughts and have little to no meaning in who we are.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

kuya;1240693 wrote: :new: I am trying to get the hang of this site! This is my first day here --- is there anyone out there??

Hi Kuya! I hope you stick around. :welcome:

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday everyone!

Sufi, I liked the poem alot!

Byrdie, I agree about getting stronger daily. Going AF just feels right, and I know it is the only way for me to be. Drinking just felt wrong eventually, and I know in the back of my mind that there is no way it could ever be "fun" for me. What is so much fun about misery, guilt, disappointment etc, etc, waking up at 2:00 AM, oh my god we could all just go on and on about all the "fun" we've had...

I also agree about having bad days. We are still just people trying to get through our lives the best we can. A new day can be completely different for us now, more than ever before. Mainly because I don't have that rotten stinking hangover to keep my down! Oh man I don't miss that!

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Whew, what a week. I have a crazy work schedule and had to work overnight last night. I'm just waking up now in the early afternoon, clear-headed and feeling good.

Australia--Beating yourself up is a waste of time. The good news is that you're back here and trying again. You still deserve to be proud of yourself for making 45 days. How often in the past have you done that? Just think of the sigh of relief that your body must have felt during that time. Just keep on trying and it will eventually stick. You can do it!

Lav--I love your new avatar. Love chickens! Great weather we've been having, huh? I hope to get out and enjoy some of the sunshine today.

Unwasted--I'm in the same boat as you with an elderly parent. I hope your father is doing well. Congrats on day 55!

Lola--It really is kind of sad when you look back at the time wasted in a drunken haze. Being sober is so much better! I'm actually living my life now.

Byrdie--Oh my gosh, that was some fall! I fell numerous times, but never hurt myself that badly. I had plenty of bruises though and had no idea how I got them. Sometimes I could remember that I fell, but couldn't remember where or how. So embarrassing. My poor cats took the blame for tripping me many times.

Windy--I hope you're right about it getting easier after 100 days. I'm not too far away from that, but still getting the darn cravings.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Going to stick close to the nest today, as shamefully noon is my witching hour on weekends. I've got lots of hours ahead of me before I sleep! No worries, though, in spite of the cravings that are hitting pretty hard, I have a plan that includes no wine in the house and lots of little projects and errands to keep me busy.

The funny thing is, today is day 5 for me, but it might as well be day 50. Drinking feels like a nasty habit that is long since part of my history. I literally can hardly believe I was drinking less than a week ago. Strange. I've had a few day 5's before, but it's never felt like this before!

Note...I was reading this before I hit the post button and wanted to clarify one thing. I know there is a HUGE difference between day 5 and day 50.. Those of you who have actually done it have my utmost respect and admiration. And you can bet when I really get there I will be shouting to the heavens!

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

:thanks: thank you for the wishes. I am really looking forward to getting back in here and doing well.

Byrdie- thanks for ur story about the 12 day mark drink, it was kind of like that for me.

Thanks Canadian girl and lolab and all others for ur help.

I'm amazed at how down drinking can make u feel after, guess I had forgotten about that. So I am trying hard today to put on a happy face and move forward.

Flyaway - thanks, i am still happy to know I can do it.

Day 1 begins.

I wish everyone a great Sunday in the nest and again- thanks

Unwasted well done on 55 days, thats awesome!

And windy great going too, glad to hear it gets a little easier after 100.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Sufi, I loved your poem too. I wrote it on a sticky note and put it on my wall board. Thank you. B

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Nesters,

My dad is 90 - his birthday was today, but he's really close to dying. I'll check in every day but won't be posting much - I plan to take some time off work to be with him.

Just wanted to send everyone strength and love. I had a hard time today not wanting to numb out, but I persevered.........ugh..........I'm really down, but I did not drink.

Aussie, thank you!

Take care everyone.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

We'll be thinking about you, Unwasted. I lost my own dad, and I know how emotional it is. It was also a very special time for us in a way, so I hope you are able to have that little silver lining. Good for you for staying AF. That's marvelous and says a lot about you.

[MWOLady]

Newbies Nest

I'm so glad for you Wasted that you can be with your Dad as he makes his final journey. You can be a comfort to him. I was with my Mum but she didn't know me - so sad. And you sober!!! What a gift to him!! We'll be thinking of you over the next while.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

I ended up having one long & busy day with grandkids.....not complaining though

Unwasted, we will all be thinking of you. Please check in when you can, we're here for support :l

Hope everyone is settled in for the night, nest belts & butt velcro in place
Lav