Newbies Nest

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Mind loss to begin in 3...2...1... Liftoff!

What's going on?

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Hey Kradle...that's so true! How are ya doing tonight?

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Popping in to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
Congrats to all the newbies making progress ~ nice
Lav

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lav....you have a great night too~!

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Norman- The Bo Boo Man RIP

Okay, Well call Guiness because I am the worldld biggest fricken idiot

I told the children tonight that Norman had passed...
Now to sum up Norman: About a year and a half ago we took in my best friend's beautiful old chocolate Lab with all his ailments - 3 strokes, ocassional incontinence, terrible farts:shocked:
We all fell in love with the 'Bo-Bo Man. He really was something else. This dog was such a knucklehead! He would wander into the office, turn around and shut the door with his big head and then stand there with his nose pressed up against the door panting like 'Ahhh, Duh! Can you let me out??'
But I admit he was going down hill these last few months. My Husband and I fought over it. Janet and I fought over it. They wanted to put him down. They felt it was time. He was suffering.

I didn't. I cleaned up after him. I got him out of the stairs when he got stuck. The kids and I took care of him. Anyway, after much upsetness between the adults and my talking to vets, we agreed to put the Bo Bo man down...but we didn't tell the kids. Janet has three boys. They still dont know. They belong at the moment to their clinically insane father who got custody of them thru lots of money and a corrupt judge (another long weird story)
So tonight, Sedona is begging to see Norman. Matt is insisting I tell him what is going on. They WILL NOT FRICKEN STOP!!! So I took Sedona into the bedroom and told her. Calmly, gently with Luna our German Shepard holding her hand and tissues and warm wash cloths and hugs and....she became totally unglued. They ALL became totally unglued. Slamming doors. Blamming me! Blamming Janet! Screaming, Ripping up paper...it was not pretty...

I stayed CALM. I can do that. Stay calm in the face of Crazy. But I will fall apart soon. I know I will. Husband is gone. It's getting late
I want o take the edge off ALOT. And that is all I have to say about that.
I am going to take some TOPA and take my contacts out.
Thanks for listening. I feel sick to my stomach :upset:
Too Late

Fell apart.. Screamed at them...Sorry. They are ....relentless

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Oh Kradle....so sorry to hear about Bo Bo Man!!!!! I am a veterinary technician and I have been there to help many animals cross over and I have also there to help the owners through their very difficult decision. What I always did when the owners would leave was to give them a copy of the "Rainbow Bridge". I think maybe if you read that poem to your kids it may help them try to make sense of all of this! My heart goes out to you and I am so glad you chose to be strong!

[Yogamom]

Newbies Nest

i am here...fighting for my ipad with a five yo. But i held it together tonight. will catch up in the am unless she fallls asleep soon. take care and stay close and stay sober.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Aww Kradle, I'm sorry. :l

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Kradle, this is something I researched about pet loss and children. For your kid's age, this is supposed to be some of their natural reactions. I realize that you probably already know most if not all of this, but sometimes it helps to know that your children's behavior is normal.

10 and up: Children generally understand that all living things will eventually die, and that death is total. Understanding and accepting are two different things, however. They may go through the normal stages of grief that grownups do: denial, bargaining, anger, guilt, depression and acceptance. (To learn about the stages of grief, see the story Coping with Pet Loss.) Or they may react in other ways:

Depending on the age, the child may regress (sucking their thumb or temper tantrums that they had outgrown).

An older child may withdraw from friends and family for a while. Schoolwork may suffer and they may seem uninterested in extracurricular activities.

Children may fear abandonment. If a pet can die, then they may reason that their parents could die as well.

Children often become intensely curious about death and what happens to the body. They may ask for details that you may find uncomfortable to explain. These are questions you should answer in a straightforward, gentle and careful manner.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Wow Destiny You're a Vet Tech!
I am not worthy. Putting Norman down was the most awful thing. My husband was cumpled on the floor sobbing. I didn't talk to Janet for days. I was furious. I will get them the Poem. It is going to be a rough couple of days here with this. Madison jesy left afer much crying again, now becasue she thought she would be able to 'see Norman' when we bury him. ..

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Thanks you LB. I am so appreciate of your support and advice. I am seeing alot of these behaviorsnow but it is teh INTENSITY that I was unprepared for. Really unprepared.

And I think I made a BIG Mistake with Mathieu. I should have told him earier instead of lumping him in with the girls. He is not happy...I am apologizing.

The concept of LOSS is figuring quite prominently at my home tonight...I am using alot of you can not know the light without the dark imagery...i'm grasping

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I remember vividly when my dog, Brittles, died. He was a dachshund. He got hit by a car while we were away at church one night. Back then, we allowed our animals to run free. Not sure why. We lived on a major highway too. I threw myself across my bed and refused to be consoled. I think eventually my parents ignored me. I did get over it, but it's a normal reaction. Not very comforting when you're in the midst of it, but maybe just "remove" yourself as much as possible from the situation, at least in your own mind. Be there to comfort and explain how you feel sad too, as I'm sure you've done. I guess since you are seeming to imply that they feel betrayed, I would apologize that I didn't realize how grown up they really are and I was wrong to try and spare them from the truth. Acknowledge that you did the best you could do under the circumstances.:l

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

Thanks LB.
Feeling better just exhausted.
Sleep well.

Good night in the nest :l

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Glad to be back...

Hi all,

Well, I'm home safe and sound (ish). In the end I think my illness was not just the alcohol - it was so much more severe than that - but it clearly didn't help. In any case, I'm home with renewed determination. Happy that my books arrived and planning to spend a bunch of time this weekend reading them, reading on here, and writing out a new game plan cause clearly the last one wasn't quite enough.

Sausage when is your 100 days?! We will have to have a little virtual pizza party over here for you. Happy dance!

I'm on board with the weight loss efforts too. I ate sooo much in Thailand and I was already unhappy with my weight - I am bigger than I've ever been due to stacking on some kilos after quitting smoking. I'm going to do a low GI/reduced carbs diet combined with exercise and... of course.. no booze!

So Over It - don't beat yourself up. Just don't let that slip turn into a total relapse. Dust yourself off and dive back in.

One observation: It is so ingrained in us - both through our addicted minds and society - that drinking is all about 'fun' and 'relaxation' and 'holidays' etc. But, I'll tell you what, if I'm honest with myself, well sure I felt like I was fun while getting pissed the LOWEST points on my wonderful trip were the result of drinking and being hungover or feeling crappy from it. It didn't add to my holiday - it detracted from it.

L x

[Tx Ellen]

Newbies Nest

2nd attemPt at a clean start

I apogize in advance for my spelling as I am on my iPhone.

I started last October and made it about 3 weeks. The first week I rented a cabin in TN and listened to the tapes every night.

Fast forward to
Today and my bipolar disorder is out of Wack and I have
Been off work for 2 weeks to get used to sedating meds . I know if I could quit drinking it would make the meds work better.

When this episode started I admitted to drinking a bottle of wine daily and my shrink seemed to think the world had come to an end. After I startedback On drugs for mania he asked again and I lied and said I had stopped.

I know I would feel better if I stopped but just can't find a good enough reason to quit.