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I am new, wish I would have done this a long time ago.
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Been around a few months but it is kinda big here and easy to get lost. Just wanted to say I have been at this now since July and I had a slip 2 weeks ago and just a couple before that. 4 slips in 7 months. Getting better at this all the time. Feeling pretty good. Sober yesterday makes 2 weeks totally AF. Had to really recommit myself after that one and put everything back into perspective. I am choosing to do this and do want to totally abstain from it. Caused me nothing but problems. Seems I learned that last one that I like to run from things to a bottle. Feelings, anger and such. I am having counseling now and it is really helping me work on these issues. I don't think I was a alcoholic, more of a alcohol abuser. I don't shake or get sick without it, I just don't drink like other people who can handle it do. I always drink to get drunk and succeed in that. I end up letting my feelings out anyhow but when I am drunk they are all messed up and deal with them all wrong. So it is just not for me. I am learning to live without it and my life is better for it. Today is cold and snowy. I was gonna go look for a job today but got discouraged on the count of the weather. Gotta be in the right state of mind to get a job. I am trying to get a life now. Allot of things have changed since I stopped drinking and I just need to get on with it now. Hard to get motivated. I am married but it is not a great marriage and he still drinks, allot. I am changing and he isn't. I am starting to see things I tried to drink away and now can't. He makes good money but money isn't everything. 17 years is a long time though and I am still working at it. Need to get on my own feet though because I may decide to end it and just start over. Not been good for a very long time. Just muddling through really co existing. No sex, no intimacy at all for a very long time. I still love him but am not in love you know? Still, I did find a marriage support site and we are trying. Only time and effort will tell I suppose? Well, wishing you all well till the next time and take care and be strong as you can. I will.

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