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    Newbies Nest

    peppersnow;1671514 wrote:
    My little brother runs marathons and his time is just under 4 hours. When he comes up to stay with us to run, his very favorite thing to do is to go back to the finish line about 6 hours after the start, when the slowest runners are finally making it across the finish line. He goes crazy cheering on those people, who are usually rather out-of-shape looking, and when I asked him why he says that it's because it takes so much more work, commitment, and endurance to run 26 miles when you're out-of-shape than it does when you're in top condition. In his mind, they are the most impressive runners in the race and he wants them to be cheered on.

    I feel the same way about people who slip and immediately come back. Those early days are the hardest. I slipped the first time I came here, felt ashamed and left. It seems like every week there are new people who join us or awhile, then suddenly disappear forever. We all know it's because they slipped and quit. To keep coming back and trying after a slip takes SO much more courage, determination and strength than to give up and disappear.

    So please, please just stick with us and know that when one of us falls down, the only emotion the rest of us feels when you get back up again is tremendous relief, gratitude and admiration that you stayed here to keep trying!
    Pepper, nice analogy. I've slipped 3 times in my short time here. I've looked back to figure out why. Half- heartedness and complacency, then over confidence are what brought me down. I've learnt each time, and think I finally get it. Time will tell.

    But the one thing that made the difference is the support, empathy, and welcome back waiting when deciding to get back on and try again. I totally agree with you Pepper.

    To anyone considering on starting a new AF life here, or starting over again, don't hesitate. There is so much wonderful support here. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

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      Newbies Nest

      Whataday!
      Friday the 13th is usually a lucky day for me but that hasn't been the case so far!
      We are on the way to Charleston to see my step daughter and have stopped twice. Both times, torrential rain! I'm soaked. At the Chinese buffet there was a roach in the Lo Mein on the buffet. Gross.
      Hope everyone has a great weekend. Don't look back longingly at AL. There is NO good for us with it. Remember it is out to kill us, nothing more, nothing less. It is not a friend, it is toxic to us. Hang tough and stay strong!! Xo, B
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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        Newbies Nest

        Hi all, managed 3 weeks then had a slip monday, but didnt let it escalate and started again tuesday x

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          Newbies Nest

          Hi Sweetgum,
          Glad you made it back to MWO. I hope you find a nice spot in the nest and lots of feathers to keep you warm. Three weeks is great AF time. I can bet you felt great for the majority of those three weeks. I know that those first two are kind of scary, but on the third week, things start to go better, we begin to feel so strong, and then sometimes we tell ourselves, "Well, Self, how about a few as I feel really good now," or "I think I can moderate now!" then we end up in the crappy place again. What do you think caused your slip? Is there something you can do to prevent another one? Take a look in the toolbox, and write a good top ten list of things to place in your toolbox for when you feel as though you are having a craving, bad al thought, or feel as though you're on the verge of a slip. There are loads of suggestions. No need to reinvent the wheel, but all of us are different so we have different tools.
          Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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            Newbies Nest

            Welcome Sweetgum!
            I will ditto what J vo so eloquently said. There is strength in numbers and you are among friends here! When you have a weak moment, come here first! We are so glad you're here!!

            Made it to Charleston in one piece!
            Have a safe night everyone...its just Friday, not an excuse to drink.
            J vo, what a great point you make! We reward our Af time with AL! That dont make sense!!!(as we say in the south). We feel better and then partake in the thing that makes us feel bad! AL is the big LIE! Don't fall for it! Xo, Byrdie
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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              Newbies Nest

              Pepper and Wag, thank you for the extended hand, instead of a wagging finger. What a relief to see your unconditional support. Whew. I feel accepted, flaws and all.

              Sweetgum, 3 weeks?!? That's something. Nothing can take those days away from you. I'm very glad you're back.

              It's been a crappy day, but coming here has lifted my spirits. This funk may lift afterall.

              I'm already in bed because I'm depressed (not as badly as when I first logged on). I was going to start writing again in a journal I started when my husband and I separated, but I'm tired of thinking about my marriage, and am going to start a book instead.

              Have a pleasant evening, all.
              "Remember, you are responsible for creating your life by every thought, action, choice. Choose well." Oprah Winfrey

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                Newbies Nest

                MAE everyone! I'm just sitting here thinking how blessed I am to have connected with all of you. It is amazing the strength we can gain from positive support like we have here. Taking off in the AM for another camping trip. I've packed my "plan", sparkling water and a little sweet stuff. This is a completely different group than last time so I'm not nearly as concerned BUT I will be watchful of the BEAST (as Chief would say). Can't let our guard down!

                Glad you are all here both old and new!

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Ginger,
                  I remember how afraid you were last weekend. Look at you now!!!! The confidence just after one weekend is a real thing. Enjoy your newfound confidence and joy in AF camping. Watch out for the BEAST and the Lions, tigers, and bears. oh my! The beast is the ugliest and scariest of all, but you certainly put him in his place last weekend. Have fun.
                  Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Ginger,
                    I remember how afraid you were last weekend. Look at you now!!!! The confidence just after one weekend is a real thing. Enjoy your newfound confidence and joy in AF camping. Watch out for the BEAST and the Lions, tigers, and bears. oh my! The beast is the ugliest and scariest of all, but you certainly put him in his place last weekend. Have fun.
                    Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                    Comment


                      Newbies Nest

                      Ginger,
                      I remember how afraid you were last weekend. Look at you now!!!! The confidence just after one weekend is a real thing. Enjoy your newfound confidence and joy in AF camping. Watch out for the BEAST and the Lions, tigers, and bears. oh my! The beast is the ugliest and scariest of all, but you certainly put him in his place last weekend. Have fun.
                      Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

                      Comment


                        Newbies Nest

                        Wow, long & crappy day today as evidenced by Byrdie's rain/travel story. Glad you arrived safely at your destination
                        Btw - I made lo mein in my kitchen for dinner tonight. Delicious & roach free :H

                        Hello & welcome Sweetgum!
                        Freshen up your plan & Velcro yourself in the nest for a while!

                        Whatever we do, whatever happens just remember why you joined MWO in the first place. No one ever said it was going to be an easy journey but it is a journey well worth the struggle
                        Just keep trying if you've had a fall out of the nest, you won't be sorry!

                        Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!!!

                        Lav
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Sweetgum - Congrats on the 3 weeks, and nice job getting back to your plan after slipping on Mon. You'll be back in double digits in no time.

                          Ginger
                          - Hope you have a great camping trip. You sound so strong! Good idea to stay aware of the beast though. Look forward to hearing how things went.
                          Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Jane,

                            Dear Jane. My condolences. I'm glad that you have many good memories of her. To me that is what immortality is really about.

                            Pepper,

                            I understand completely about people viewing the roll call as a badge of shame. Those are the people who view it as some sort of competition. In the end I think that it is sort of like a diet which it has been shown that logging day to day has positive effects on the success of that diet. Of course a diet isn't truly successful if, as with most, one regains the weight once the period of diet is over. I tend to understand, however, a diet as simply the way that an individual eats not an alteration of eating patterns over a set period of time.

                            Anyway there is the advantage of keeping one honest, keeping one focused. On the other hand there is the badge of shame. The question is how to reinforce the non-judgement of the roll call and the advantages it brings. Perhaps we need a sticky of some sort, a message at the beginning for all newbies to not be alarmed and to expect, in the beginning, difficulty in topping that hill?

                            Juja,

                            Please don't hold back. Be authentic, honest and open. There is power in sharing what bothers you, from the smallest to the greatest. Being authentic and open with us actually will help you be more honest and open with yourself. Putting things outside yourself by hearing (or reading) them can actually help put them in perspective, change the way that you see them. And possibly drain the puss from that anxiety a little. It doesn't derail anyone but encourages them to be authentic as well. As you've experience we are here for you.

                            As for not being totally committed I haven't been either. It is one of the reasons I stick around. I know it is something that I need to change and by being here, by knowing the joy that others have experienced kicking AL to the curb, my own desire for it grows. You've been doing great. Sometimes one can't think their way into right action but needs to act their way into right action. Forget who I got that idea from.

                            Ginger,

                            Have a wonderful time. Touch a tree, feel the water and the wind, let the heat of the campfire wash over you. The earth beneath your feet. That's what I call sacred space.

                            I'm sure that part of what I was thinking of to put down here has been left out. What I remember I'll just have to tag on. To anyone I haven't specifically mentioned good morning, good afternoon and good night. :0)
                            “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb

                            "See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.

                            Newbies Nest
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                              Newbies Nest

                              Jane,

                              Dear Jane. My condolences. I'm glad that you have many good memories of her. To me that is what immortality is really about.

                              Pepper,

                              I understand completely about people viewing the roll call as a badge of shame. Those are the people who view it as some sort of competition. In the end I think that it is sort of like a diet which it has been shown that logging day to day has positive effects on the success of that diet. Of course a diet isn't truly successful if, as with most, one regains the weight once the period of diet is over. I tend to understand, however, a diet as simply the way that an individual eats not an alteration of eating patterns over a set period of time.

                              Anyway there is the advantage of keeping one honest, keeping one focused. On the other hand there is the badge of shame. The question is how to reinforce the non-judgement of the roll call and the advantages it brings. Perhaps we need a sticky of some sort, a message at the beginning for all newbies to not be alarmed and to expect, in the beginning, difficulty in topping that hill?

                              Juja,

                              Please don't hold back. Be authentic, honest and open. There is power in sharing what bothers you, from the smallest to the greatest. Being authentic and open with us actually will help you be more honest and open with yourself. Putting things outside yourself by hearing (or reading) them can actually help put them in perspective, change the way that you see them. And possibly drain the puss from that anxiety a little. It doesn't derail anyone but encourages them to be authentic as well. As you've experience we are here for you.

                              As for not being totally committed I haven't been either. It is one of the reasons I stick around. I know it is something that I need to change and by being here, by knowing the joy that others have experienced kicking AL to the curb, my own desire for it grows. You've been doing great. Sometimes one can't think their way into right action but needs to act their way into right action. Forget who I got that idea from.

                              Ginger,

                              Have a wonderful time. Touch a tree, feel the water and the wind, let the heat of the campfire wash over you. The earth beneath your feet. That's what I call sacred space.

                              I'm sure that part of what I was thinking of to put down here has been left out. What I remember I'll just have to tag on. To anyone I haven't specifically mentioned good morning, good afternoon and good night. :0)
                              “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb

                              "See it as it is, not worse than it is just so you have a reason not to try." - Tony Robbins.

                              Newbies Nest
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                              Toolbox
                              Cattleman Cafe

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Good morning Nesters,

                                Sunshine in my portion of the nest - finally! It's been a long week of clouds & rain here.

                                Orimus, I think AA uses the 'Fake it until you make it' phrase & it really does help

                                Ginger, enjoy your camping trip, hope the weather is great!

                                Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Flag day! Need to go put my flag out for the day!

                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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