Newbies Nest

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

TTBH, Lav, BL, J-vo, Wag, Pav : thanks for the congrats. It's sinking in a bit more now, so already plotting more events.

TTBH hello and welcome fellow Aussie. I was happy to finish the event and the time was okay for my first, but I know I've got a lot better in me. Stay tuned.

BL: international man of intrigue? Yes, I do think Austen powers is pretty funky! Yeah baby:H

J-vo: you summed up very well what I'm trying to do. Have positive goals that are fun, interesting, exciting. Running really does it for me. But whatever works for each person. Something that gets you really inspired. Something that makes drinking seem really pointless and irrelevant. I'm still getting there, and certainly don't pretend to have slayed the AL demon yet, but I feel like I've made real progress.

LIS and Ican, glad you're back. I know you've heard it all before, but nobody I'm aware of got it right the first time. Keep at it. And stay on this forum. It's the best way I'm aware of to beat AL.

Rahul, stay strong my friend. And I hope you have your running shoes with you

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Hope everyone had a good night
I'm prepping for another day of extreme heat & humidity here - feel sorry for my chickens. I'll likely be running out to pick up extra ice for their water cans & give them some frozen veggies to munch on to stay cool!

Keeping myself busy & out of the self pity arena has helped me stay out of trouble over the past 5+ years. There is no need to drink alcohol - not ever!!!!

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nesters!
Petrel, I hope this hat doesn't interfere with your drillin and fillin today!
:goodtime:
Shagging good job on the 30 days!! I think you are well on your way, too! So proud of you!

Rahul, yeah, what about our pictures of Bangkok? We are depending on you as our tour guide to show us the in's and out's of the place! Now get busy and put together a powerpoint for us!!! Keep checking in here....STAY ENGAGED with your lifeline. You never want to lose sight of your source of strength! (the MotherShip!!)

Well Hello, Mary Lou! So good to see you! You look lovely today!!

I know that it is easy to fall into the Pity Party and Woe is Me phase of this journey. It's ok to address it, but you have the power to change your thinking. In the grand scheme of things, we are just recovering alcoholics....we are not losing our minds or ability to walk or speak. We have a powerful contribution to make to our worlds. Don't get stuck in that pity pit. No good can come out of that. Pick yourself up and get your mind on productive things. How can you help someone else today? How can you make someone who is struggling have a little better day today? Sometimes life stacks it on us pretty good, but like the donkey in the well, we climb out of it step by step.

Let's get out there and make it great AF day. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. YOU can do it. XO, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

The Donkey in the Well

Great lesson:

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the... donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1680269aa wrote:
I know that it is easy to fall into the Pity Party and Woe is Me phase of this journey. It's ok to address it, but you have the power to change your thinking. In the grand scheme of things, we are just recovering alcoholics....we are not losing our minds or ability to walk or speak. We have a powerful contribution to make to our worlds. Don't get stuck in that pity pit. No good can come out of that. Pick yourself up and get your mind on productive things. How can you help someone else today? How can you make someone who is struggling have a little better day today? Sometimes life stacks it on us pretty good, but like the donkey in the well, we climb out of it step by step.

Let's get out there and make it great AF day. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. YOU can do it. XO, Byrdie

I agree with this Byrdie. It takes work to change that thinking. You can't just hope for change. Rewiring our brain + AF time is a must. We don't wanna be dry drunks. That's something I need to work on. When a negative thought enters my mind such as, "why can't I..." replace that thought immediately with "I'm glad I don't have to worry about looking like a complete ass as that's what would happen if I drink." Rewiring, like CBT takes a great deal of time to become automatic. Those automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) are what need to be replaced with positive thoughts. When we catch ourselves thinking of ANTS, replace with a good thought right away. Even when you're not thinking of ANTS, when you can stick a good AF thought in there, that's important, too. We don't want ANTS crawling all over us. No way, baby.

Congratulations on 30 Petrel!! How awesome for you! And I agree with those goals. When I was drinking, I had no positive physical goals. Now I'm working on physical and spiritual and it's such a huge factor in my sobriety. I bought the new PiYo DVD's from Beachbody. It's Pilates and Yoga. It's not easy, but hey, we need the challenge.

Have a great day all.

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Great lesson Byrdie!

[Trying To Be Happy]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for my moons, Byrdie, Pav and J-vo! as well as all the kind words. Hello to you too Petrel - fellow Aussie

LiS: I am new to posting here but not new to stories echoing your recent hiccup. That is what it is - a hiccup, unless you give it more of your time. You went from a weekend away with lots of physical barriers to getting alcohol (not a bad way to start, to give you a push in the right direction) into what sounds like was right back into your old triggers: knowing where you could buy it, being there at that time of day, after a day at work (that time of day is an enormous trigger for my partner and I and I don't think we are alone in that). Give yourself a break, and get back on task as soon as you can :l

DD: Hope you are doing okay, and thinking of you a lot.

Byrdie: love the donkey story. I have just signed up for volunteering at my local mission, and am starting to see such a busy life happening I don't know where I would fit alcohol in

All good here - day 8 done. I saw a woman from a local shop today and was chatting to her. She told me she was doing Dry July - I said I was too, we talked about it for a bit and it turns out she drank every day and has been trying to just drink a few days over the month rather than every day, and a lot less. I had a moment of feeling a little disappointed that she wasn't doing the whole thing and then realised the most important thing is that she is doing something she can point to as progress. I don't know her well enough to know if she has a major problem or not, but anything someone does to reduce their intake/change their habits has to be a good thing. Good for her.

Hope you are all well, Nesters! :bedtime: for me - have a great next 24 hours, wherever you are xo

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Hey guys - so the weekend ruined me. Actually looking to seclude myself from ANY social situations that may result in drinking.

That means most social situations whilst I figure a way to improve my life.

AL is the source of everything that goes wrong.

But obviously there is some underlying issue that leads me to drink. Is it anxiety? Is it being in situations that I do not belong?

Whatever it is, AL leads to a decline in health and life quality.

Here to build up a base.

I REALLY, REALLY need to cure myself now, as these binges are getting worse and worse. I really have a problem and am ending up in places I should not be, with people I should not be mixing with. And the things that really matter to me - family, friends, health, job etc. are slowly slipping away.

If I do not stop the rot this time round, I am in serious trouble. I see this path leading one way now - and it is a bleak outlook.

So, this is the time I HAVE to do it.

- Londoner

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Londoner. I'm glad you're back.

You've got to change a variable in this experiment you keep running! The outcome just isn't going to change and even if it did once, it would probably be due to chance. You've done it enough times to know that if you go out with your friends to the bar or music scene, you will binge drink.

So... there are options. I hate to suggest you give up your friends and social life, but that is one. Another would be to consider using antabuse or other medications discussed on this site. Is there an AA or similar meeting for people your age in London that you could attend?

I really think you need a new tool and to stop testing yourself before you're ready.

Did you see AllanKay's thread? I think is was started with you in mind.

All of us hate seeing what you keep doing to yourself over and over. You're young and so wise to get a handle on this now. But you've got to change something this time.

All the best, NS

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

Hey NoSugar - thanks for the words as always. Didn't see that thread, but am checking it out now.

I'm actually starting to scare myself with what I am doing to myself. People recognise me on nights out, who apparently I've chatted to before, but I have zero recollection of. It's as if I have bipolar side to me when I drink.

I'm a nicer person when I don't drink. I actually want to do more things when I don't drink. So why on Earth do I crawl back to this poison? Is it in my genes? I have family who have struggled with substance abuse.

I've pretty much been in bed for the past 3 days. I have a drink problem. I have a drug problem. I go well beyond what others do, even in these shady clubs. No one knows how bad a problem I have.

Yes, I need to stop going to anything that involves drink. I need to live up to my expectation of myself - not what others expect.

[Londoner]

Newbies Nest

And to add to that, I feel like I have tainted my life in some way by doing the things I have done.

I have entered walks of life that I should not have entered.

I feel like I have let my family down. Myself down.

Only time can heal now.

[NoSugar]

Newbies Nest

Londoner;1680321 wrote: And to add to that, I feel like I have tainted my life in some way by doing the things I have done.
I have entered walks of life that I should not have entered.
I feel like I have let my family down. Myself down.
Only time can heal now.

I doubt that there is a person here who doesn't have regrets, Londoner. Mine are different from yours, partly because they came at a different stage of life. It has been one of my biggest (ongoing) challenges to forgive myself and not let myself be consumed by the "what ifs". When I'm being clear-headed about it, I know that any time I spend beating myself up and feeling bad about things I did or (mostly) didn't do is more time I'm giving up to this demon that had such a hold on me. I can't deny the feelings, but I try to put a limit on the time I allow myself to wallow in the unchangeable past.

You've got a lot more potential years ahead of you than most of us who are involved in MWO, Londoner. Do what you've got to do in the short run so that you can have all those years living the life you deserve.

Take good care of yourself. - NS

[j-vo]

Newbies Nest

Hi Londoner,
Glad you've come back. Yes, there have got to be lots of changes for you. I know you're young, and that's a "party" time of life. But it's good that you're seeing that you drinking and drugging go beyond what others are doing. I also come from a family of al abuse. Yes, it's in your genes. The other half of that is exposure to the drink/drug and BAM! You're hooked because you have the gene. It's just the way we are. We can't change that, but we can change directions from here. Is there any possibility of an out-patient rehab? Sometimes that's a great jump start into a new and al-free life. Good luck to you.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

Lav, they must be the luckiest chickens on the planet. Next thing they'll have their own swimming pool

Byrdlady;1680269 wrote:
Petrel, I hope this hat doesn't interfere with your drillin and fillin today!
:goodtime:
Shagging good job on the 30 days!! I think you are well on your way, too! So proud of you!



Sometimes life stacks it on us pretty good, but like the donkey in the well, we climb out of it step by step.

Nice story BL.

I have the week off. My boys are on school holidays and I'm enjoying the down time, not to mention resting my legs. Feeling great and positive.

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

j-vo;1680278 wrote: I agree with this Byrdie. It takes work to change that thinking. You can't just hope for change. Rewiring our brain + AF time is a must. We don't wanna be dry drunks. That's something I need to work on. When a negative thought enters my mind such as, "why can't I..." replace that thought immediately with "I'm glad I don't have to worry about looking like a complete ass as that's what would happen if I drink." Rewiring, like CBT takes a great deal of time to become automatic. Those automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) are what need to be replaced with positive thoughts. When we catch ourselves thinking of ANTS, replace with a good thought right away. Even when you're not thinking of ANTS, when you can stick a good AF thought in there, that's important, too. We don't want ANTS crawling all over us. No way, baby.

Congratulations on 30 Petrel!! How awesome for you! And I agree with those goals. When I was drinking, I had no positive physical goals. Now I'm working on physical and spiritual and it's such a huge factor in my sobriety. I bought the new PiYo DVD's from Beachbody. It's Pilates and Yoga. It's not easy, but hey, we need the challenge.

Have a great day all.

J-vo, congrats for tomorrow. A huge 100! Well done.

Nice post above. I think your last paragraph leads nicely from the first. Beach body, Pilates, yoga: all positive things to rewire our future and make the "ANTS" disappear.

I'm still buzzing from how fantastic my whole weekend marathon experience was. I never want to let this go this time. In the past, I would tell myself I "deserved" a break, stop running and start drinking, with the intention of getting back into it eventually. It was very slow to happen. This time will be different.