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    Newbies Nest

    Sarah42;1690275 wrote: I am appalled. Seriously you turn Guapo away?? Telling him he needs to go somewhere else for a problem we all share?

    I don't get this. This is like 'religion gone cult'. "If you don't master abstainence than you need to go to another thread"

    Which means " unless you do it OUR way, you are unimportant or insignificant". Or, that you aren't doing it the way I think you should. Or you are not welcome here. Bullshit.

    Alky- you said Guapo's comments were 'inappropriate'?? How...exactly? Plz...tell me what was inappropriate...can't wait to hear it.

    Well. let me say this...ANY WAY OUT is a step forward and I cannot believe what I read.

    How about none of us be judgmental on the way that a person gets healthy? How about embracing a person whether or not they decide to moderate or otherwise and not be placed in your particular 'box'. If they fail...then embrace them and try to help them thru?

    Look, I have gotten help here that I cannot deny, but this has got to stop! Ya'll chased away a person who was looking for help. And, quite honestly, you might chase me away too.

    I don't think telling someone to go to another 'thread' or otherwise helps anyone.
    All that does is offer more 'rejection'. Surely you don't want to do that.

    OR do you?

    For now, I will sit back and read.

    Jen
    Thank you for the constructive post.
    Over the years, you can imagine that a merge of so many personalities will disagree from time to time. We all come here broken and defeated in some way (usually by alcohol). All I can say is, if you would like the nest to be something it isn't, stay and help make it that way. So many come and go and offer ways to do it better, but they seldom participate long enough to make it 'this great thing' that they envision. Some come in and sling ideas around and create discord, but are not invested enough in the process to stay and affect change in a meaningful way.
    The nest is actually a very delicate eco system.
    I am a student of history and I've seen what works and what doesn't. My stance on it is, Those than can, DO. Those that can't, complain. I am here front and center for MY sobriety. If I can help someone else in the process, then that is a plus. If I can help a person take the easier route to the inevitable end result (AF), I am obligated as a human being to do it.
    I am not a AA'er, BTW, have never attended a meeting. I went to the school of Trying it ALL the Hard Way, or FU, for short, that's what I did to myself! If I can help someone's journey be easier, then mission accomplished. I am also well-schooled on the meaning of moderation, but thanks for clarifying it for me. If I have not been clear about this in the past, my stance is to do whatever it takes to get sober.
    Have a great day, Byrdie
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      Newbies Nest

      Having a very weak period - last night I know that if someone had come to my house with a drink I would have gave in......didn't go get any, just so frustrated.....done the usual and told myself if I still felt this way tomorrow....woke today happy I didn't , but still playing on my mind.....
      IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
      Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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        Newbies Nest

        Hi Daisy, I saw your post and wanted to comment. Right around the 2 year mark for me, I started to have this fear that I would drink again at some point. I should have just pushed the thought out and moved on, but it did play on my mind, just as you wrote. We are only human and we are allowed to have dips in the road. When I posted about it, I got tons of support and good advice. Can you get yourself some excercise? That is always a major mood cure for me. You can always just go to sleep before you crumble, can't drink if you're sleeping You are allowed to have crummy days! Thinking of you!
        "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
        AF 11/12/11

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          Newbies Nest

          daisy45;1690404 wrote: Having a very weak period - last night I know that if someone had come to my house with a drink I would have gave in......didn't go get any, just so frustrated.....done the usual and told myself if I still felt this way tomorrow....woke today happy I didn't , but still playing on my mind.....
          Being way on the shorter end of being AF, I 'll remind you that starting over again is not something you want to do. Just a week ago or so, I used to drink every day, all day ..and I still want to..the temptation still feels like its there all the time. So, I do...every time I want a drink now, I get one...it just no longer has booze in it. I feel I fill a lot of that routine and need just by getting a cold glass of water or an iced tea or soemthing. Then I am able to think of/work on something else again, for a while anyway, then wash, rinse and repeat. It's a pain for sure, but it seems to help and I know it's better than the alternative. Good luck
          “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness”- Desmond Tutu


          STL

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            Newbies Nest

            Hello Nesters,

            Today was quite a different day ! After several weeks I felt bit open and relaxed as if a dark could over my mind was going away. I guess it has also to with the flu which I have been having since last few weeks which is clearing away.

            Today a German came in office with his fancy electric cigarette. He was all proud exhaling how it is such a great product and how now he is just puffing away his cigarette which has nothing. It just water no nicotine what so ever. It was an ugly looking mechanical tool. I some how imagined electronic cigarette more like a normal cigarette. It was so funny to watch him puff away from that ugly looking metal tool. In our office smoking is strictly ban but he had it away with the pretext he it's it's not smoke ... ,! Then he went all over about he is so proud of giving up him addiction to smoking with that and now he hold this and smokes it just out of habit ...

            Later during lunch we talked about beer and how he looves beer ... Hmmmm ...

            In evening I went to a rotary meeting where the normal thing is to to drink. And I was holing glass of diet cokes and probably at the end had maybe 2 or 3 of them ... I too maybe have a same state with glass as The german puffing away nicotine less cigarette ... Having a glass in hand and drinking is so normal that I do feel, a bit awkward not holding it ... Hmmm ...

            On the way back we talked about a common friend who sold his business, divorced his wife and is now living his care free life in Cambodia and Thailand ... Travelling country after country ... Basically free and enjoying ... Sounds so good to be free form everything and all responsibilities in life and be just free ...

            But then maybe he is not as I know he drinks and smokes pot. So you never know if he is free of is just another victim of drug addiction. I sincerely hope he is one who found a meaning in his life and choose to live this way ...

            But then here I am ... Sober , free from addiction and life has been so much better....

            Take care Good Night !
            Rahul
            --------------------------------------------
            Rewiring my brain ... done ...
            Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
            Rebooting ... done ...
            Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

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              Newbies Nest

              Hello Nesters,

              Today was quite a different day ! After several weeks I felt bit open and relaxed as if a dark could over my mind was going away. I guess it has also to with the flu which I have been having since last few weeks which is clearing away.

              Today a German came in office with his fancy electric cigarette. He was all proud exhaling how it is such a great product and how now he is just puffing away his cigarette which has nothing. It just water no nicotine what so ever. It was an ugly looking mechanical tool. I some how imagined electronic cigarette more like a normal cigarette. It was so funny to watch him puff away from that ugly looking metal tool. In our office smoking is strictly ban but he had it away with the pretext he it's it's not smoke ... ,! Then he went all over about he is so proud of giving up him addiction to smoking with that and now he hold this and smokes it just out of habit ...

              Later during lunch we talked about beer and how he looves beer ... Hmmmm ...

              In evening I went to a rotary meeting where the normal thing is to to drink. And I was holing glass of diet cokes and probably at the end had maybe 2 or 3 of them ... I too maybe have a same state with glass as The german puffing away nicotine less cigarette ... Having a glass in hand and drinking is so normal that I do feel, a bit awkward not holding it ... Hmmm ...

              On the way back we talked about a common friend who sold his business, divorced his wife and is now living his care free life in Cambodia and Thailand ... Travelling country after country ... Basically free and enjoying ... Sounds so good to be free form everything and all responsibilities in life and be just free ...

              But then maybe he is not as I know he drinks and smokes pot. So you never know if he is free of is just another victim of drug addiction. I sincerely hope he is one who found a meaning in his life and choose to live this way ...

              But then here I am ... Sober , free from addiction and life has been so much better....

              Take care Good Night !
              Rahul
              --------------------------------------------
              Rewiring my brain ... done ...
              Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
              Rebooting ... done ...
              Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

              Comment


                Newbies Nest

                Daisy,
                I replied to you in Loamers.
                Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Daisy,
                  I'm sorry you are stressed. If you are having triggers (HALT) take a step back and observe as if you are someone else. How do normal people cope with too many projects and being tired and having people pull them in a 1000 different directions? They don't just check out and get drunk, they do something else...THEY PRIORITIZE. You aren't superwoman, don't be afraid to tell people that you just can't take on any more projects at the moment. Remember our #1 priority is protect our quit....everything else falls after that. It sounds like you could use a good night's rest. Sort things the best you can and the rest will wait on you to get to it. Try not to get overwhelmed....take it in smalls chunks....what needs doing next? Sort it out. Please push the thoughts of turning to AL out of your head. You started here shortly after I did, we KNOW by now that AL is never the answer to our problems, in fact it is the root of most of them!! You have done the hard work, now on your 86th day, show AL who is in charge of your life! Fight back! Remind yourself of the living Hell on Earth the past 4 years have been! Remind AL how he robbed you of your self esteem, memory, girlish good looks, dignity, and money! Shore up your plan! Get your support people in place! Everyone has periods of the wobblys, but you can fight your way to the other side. Do not give in NO MATTER WHAT! Your investment of 86 days is too high, and there's too much to lose! AL will NOT claim another day of your precious life! Be sure to eat something, eat til you are stuffed! Get some rest, great job on coming here to express your concerns!! Power your way thru this!! You can do it, we believe in you!!! XXOO, Byrdie
                  All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                  Tool Box
                  Newbie's Nest

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Show me how it's done Daisy! The overwhelm will eventually pass and so will the craving. Sending you good thoughts!
                    Kensho

                    Done. Moving on to life.

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                      Newbies Nest

                      Alky;1690339 wrote: Guapo is a troll. Perhaps you haven't read enough of his other posts on this forum, but just about everything I've read that he's written (I'm assuming it's a he based on username), is negative, argumentative and confrontational.
                      Rest assured I will never visit here again. Apparently name calling and guilt and shame are part of the equation.

                      Any misstep, anything other than perfect abstinence apparently Is a "slip" and a catastrophe, and a restart, and just a bad deal.

                      The only reason for my comment was to congratulate Kensho on his successes, and not his self perceived failure. The post wasn't about me

                      Anyone even on these forums should be congratulated for trying to conquer a problem, not belittled and vilified.

                      Anyway, thanks for setting me straight.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Thank for your support.....carried me through a really strong one! I didn't drink and thankfully am heading to day 87 tomorrow....
                          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                            Newbies Nest

                            daisy45;1690546 wrote: Thank for your support.....carried me through a really strong one! I didn't drink and thankfully am heading to day 87 tomorrow....
                            Yay!

                            Day 9 here Nesters. My only way out is through! And.............................loving it.

                            Take care out there and kick some ass.

                            Stick around Guapo!

                            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Thanks G.....love the way you're 'loving it!'.......
                              IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                              Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

                              Comment


                                Newbies Nest

                                Good evening Nesters,

                                I'm about ready to turn in for the day & wanted to wish everyone a safe night in the nest!
                                Good for you Daisy

                                Guapo, I don't know you but if you are truly interested in taking back control of your life then please stick around.

                                G, good to see you feeling so positive

                                Lav
                                AF since 03/26/09
                                NF since 05/19/09
                                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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