Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Kenso,

GREAT JOB !

I had a bigger problem when I was drinking. It turns out I drank alone ... A lot ! All the time. By the time left office in thenevening till the time I reached home I was 2 liters down with beer and that was just the beginning. Everywhere I see I had AL memories. Roads, sign posts, gas stations, restaurants, airports, hotels, home, friends ... All reminded me of AL ! And I realised there is no way I can escape or run away from AL. Then there were clients dinners, suppliers meeting, cocktail parties, conferences, holidays, parties and so many situations when AL was all around. I just could not stay away from all that ...I could not stay away from life !

So I worked on my attitude towards AL . AL is a drug like smoking. I don't need it. It serves no purpose. It messes with my brain. Then I poured by self with logic by seeing so many you tube videos, pod casts, support from MWO etc etc.that was a real positive re enforcement !

Soon I did not feel longing for AL. I stopped hunting for it. Getting tempted towards it ! But challenges were new and different. It turns out now I was living a life which I was not used to living. My life was AL ! Now without it there was so much to do ... So many feeling , so many thoughts, life's ups and downs. And I felt I am an emotional jerk ...

I told and declared to everyone with a sense of pride (and not a feeling of despair or gloom or feeling I am being made to starve) that I don't drink ! Yes people were shocked but then they adjusted ! Today people around me drink and KNOW I don't drink ...

Ito been a wonderful journey rediscovering life ....

Hope u stay put ... And a give a pat on your back for staying sober and enjoying the earshot sober morning ,,.

[actiongirl46]

Thank you all so much. I did not know about the Bubblehour.com site. I have a lot to learn. I am 50 too : ) It is time to get my act together. I am overwhelmed and deeply grateful for this support. Day 2 is going well so far, spent some quality time with my 13 and 14 year old boys which we all needed. Hubby still upset but only my actions will help that. I am reading the 7 days book as well.

[actiongirl46]

Where is the Tool box? I can't find it . . .

[roxane]

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?24253-Tool-box

[Matt M.]

Kenso,

GREAT JOB !

I had a bigger problem when I was drinking. It turns out I drank alone ... A lot ! All the time. By the time left office in thenevening till the time I reached home I was 2 liters down with beer and that was just the beginning. Everywhere I see I had AL memories. Roads, sign posts, gas stations, restaurants, airports, hotels, home, friends ... All reminded me of AL ! And I realised there is no way I can escape or run away from AL. Then there were clients dinners, suppliers meeting, cocktail parties, conferences, holidays, parties and so many situations when AL was all around. I just could not stay away from all that ...I could not stay away from life !

So I worked on my attitude towards AL . AL is a drug like smoking. I don't need it. It serves no purpose. It messes with my brain. Then I poured by self with logic by seeing so many you tube videos, pod casts, support from MWO etc etc.that was a real positive re enforcement !

Soon I did not feel longing for AL. I stopped hunting for it. Getting tempted towards it ! But challenges were new and different. It turns out now I was living a life which I was not used to living. My life was AL ! Now without it there was so much to do ... So many feeling , so many thoughts, life's ups and downs. And I felt I am an emotional jerk ...

I told and declared to everyone with a sense of pride (and not a feeling of despair or gloom or feeling I am being made to starve) that I don't drink ! Yes people were shocked but then they adjusted ! Today people around me drink and KNOW I don't drink ...

Ito been a wonderful journey rediscovering life ....

Hope u stay put ... And a give a pat on your back for staying sober and enjoying the earshot sober morning ,,.

Good stuff right there! Rahul

[MossRose]

Hi nesters. Very rough day so I don't have much to say tonight. Just wanted to check in and stay accountable.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Hope everything is OK with you MossRose :hug:
You know we're good listeners!

Kensho, great job thinking it all the way through
No point in torturing ourselves, huh?

Actiongirl, glad you got some quality time with your sons. Kids are quicker to forgive & that's a blessing. Spouses take a bit longer, it's their choice. they are generally more defensive. Glad you are hanging in with us!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

I have good news and bad news (tail between legs). Bad news is that I seriously considered having a Christmas cheer drink last night at a party. BIG holiday party with my husband's work friends, who drink a LOT. I had it all figured out in my mind before we got there that I really could have just a tiny bit in a glass and keep it there ALL night and somehow that was ok (stupid AL).

Good news? This is the crowd that I attended a small gathering with in August when quitting was feeling hard - and I told them I wasn't drinking. I had a really open conversation with them and when they asked why no AL, I said I was abusing it and becoming addicted and didn't like how I felt. Well, they listened. When I walked in, they immediately said hi and put a Perrier in my hands. Well, so much for "other people" not understanding.

It flipped me on my head! Not only did they remember, they supported it and respected me for it? I still thought about it a bit, but I couldn't get over this seemingly divine intervention. I am a NON DRINKER. We ended up leaving fairly early, and I made it through unscathed. I woke up cheerful and clear and ready for Christmas lights and cooking and laundry.

It was a close one folks! Not good that I was ready to partake. I should have come here and talked about it. I don't want to be a drinker. I don't like drinking, I don't like how I feel drinking and no one else cares even a little that I don't drink. SO, it's back to the "shut the f up AL Voice" for me. I need to learn how to get to 30 or 60 days and not feel like it's all ok now, I'm healed. There is no healing but abstaining from AL completely, long term. That was way too close and I need to take that really seriously. The holidays are NOT an excuse to reward ourselves with AL or to become blasé about it. They are an opportunity to feel fabulously sober and clear-headed through the festivities.

Feeling ashamed, and in disbelief all at the same time. My resolve is strengthened. Being a non-drinker is who I am, and others see me that way now too. (BTW, I enjoyed conversing with people SOOO much more last night than other large gatherings. I've learned so much about myself these last few months, and I have become more confident and interested in others. Why in the f'ing world would I want to change that?)

This WAS a close call, Kensho. What was your thought process regarding having just one on this special occasion? How did it get this far? If you feel shaky at all, please glue yourself in here and talk it out. I have never seen ONE drink that didnt turn into full relapse. I know I cant have just one...That feels more like deprivation than having none, if you can believe that. As 3June used to say, if just one, why not none? I know that I cannot romanticize AL at all...for me, drinking had gotten to the point where I was sneaking desperate gulps of it from a hidden bottle in my closet. That is where one drink will get me. I HATE ALCOHOL....for what it has done to me and all my friends here. It ruins a lot more lives than it enhances. I hope you will guard your precious quit with your life, and talk to us before these thoughts become action. You have a 60 day prize in sight! Hang in with us! Hugs, Byrdie

[Turnagain]

Kensho - As scary as the prospect of a party drink was, you did something that was absolutely stunning and powerful. You won that battle with bells on, baby! AND under the hood, you super-charged your biochemical healing by making a bunch of strong new neural connections that will make it easier and easier to deal with future events.

Craving triggers come in all forms - environmental, seasonal, situational and on and on. It's quite typical for those triggers to tickle the old primitive brain. And here we are thinking should have those licked, right? The challenge and the payoff comes when we face those triggers and beat em. Sometimes it takes hand-to-hand combat to bash those suckers - cravings/urges are a real, but normal part of healing. There are times we win the battle with more style and intent - but the bottom line is - we win! The ghosts of drunkuses past won't haunt us forever - I promise.

Will you do me a huge favor? After you read this, give yourself a pat on the back. Really. And when you do that take in a few nice deep breaths and tell yourself that you are POWERFUL - you've already proved that! :welldone::yay:

[little beagle]

Good stuff here tonight.

[Samstone]

Tis the season to stay close to the nest. Last year at this time, I was definitely feeling the urge, after all, tis the season to get obliterated for lots of people. My solution last year was to express the urge here and I had many folks responding and making good sense. The urge didn't last long but was rather intense. Bottom line, if you think drink get yourself over here and post, whether it is the nest or some other thread you enjoy, post and read, keep away from the bastard, you'll only have regrets, you don't ever have regrets waking up feeling refreshed and sober.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Yes, 'tis the season indeed, but believe it or not, right now I feel relieved and honest to goodness grateful that I am not drinking. I had such a nice afternoon with my family and am so happy to be in a great place for myself so that I can be there for them. So happy to not be one of the slurry, hungover ones. So happy I can stay for 15 minutes or four hours and IT DOESN'T MATTER. So happy to be focused to create support for my kid who is struggling in school. This staying sober s&$t is HARD WORK - and in this case, the hard work has a huge payoff.

Kensho - Way to go. I love the way Turn phrased it - pat yourself on the back as you beat AL back and created a new "win" for yourself. But Byrdie is right - I would analyze the heck out of your decision to drink and make a firm plan to avoid that decision in the future. Part of it was surely posting that here, so good on you.

Sam - I remember you talking about your cravings here when I was so new. I couldn't believe that someone with so much sober time would experience that, but your story helped me realize that staying vigilant is key to staying sober. Thanks for sharing that.

Hope everyone is tucked in safe and sound. I just had a bath with jasmine and Epsom salts - a "detox" bath that I HIGHLY recommend, especially to you new newbies. Helps you sweat out the bad and breathe in the good.

Hope you're all tucked in safely tonight. If not, butt velcro on its way.

Pav

[BeachGirly]

Wow- thanks guys for the tips.
Yes, this time of year has even more challenges.
I chose not to go to my husbands party last eve, they are big drinkers.
My work party is next weekend, but I offered to work so another could go.
It is all about planning and making the right choice.

My AL mind is in overdrive. Starting earlier in the day, tempting me, teasing me, telling me I deserve it - I work hard, bla bla bla.

I am going to have to come up with a name for the beast - so I can yell at him

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Morning all, stayed dry all weekend. On Day 4 now. Getting up this morning and saw how cold it was and the snow coming down made me think of Baileys in my coffee or hot chocolate. I just shook my head, this twisted way of thinking. I'm going to make some nice comfort food tonight of little individual meatloafs for everyone, mashed potatoes loaded with butter and some veggies. Good ole comfort food! How did everyone do over the weekend?

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

No sun & seriously cold here in my part of the nest but at least there's no snow

Sam, we all should feel free to drop in the nest when the need arises, just like going home :hug:

BG & Sho, you both sound good this morning!
Getting those first few important days under your belt is hard work. Just know you'll never regret it though!

Greetings Pav & everyone! I have lots & lots to do today - easy with a clear head & heart
Have a great AF Monday everyone!

Lav