Newbies Nest

[Overit-still]

Thanks guys. Believe it or not, my crappy day has nothing to do with my mom. Just life. One of those Murphy Law days. And it just keeps going. I'm just shaking my head and laughing because there's nothing else I can do. I'm still trying to "be thankful in all things" but right now I just want to punch someone in the nose. Any takers? Just kidding.

Besides everything, my life is still a cinch compare to others. THIS is not hard. I see stuff everyday that makes me shudder and wonder how people make it through. THIS is not hard.

Have a great night everyone.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

CONGRATULATIONS, Lav. Thanks for sticking around. I'm glad those tail feathers are strong to carry us all along with you. I'm glad you had a sleepover to celebrate your big day!

Hanna. I'm sorry for how you're feeling. Stay close - we're here for you.

Sorry about your day, Overit.

I had a 15 hour work day - zzzzz. Off to bed.

Pav

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Friday!

Pav, thanks & I don't miss those double shift kind of days - they were killers, ha ha! Hope you are resting now.

Overit, I considered my life pretty difficult, especially the people involved & they were. I finally accepted that they were not going to change to please me. If I wanted any peace I had to find a new way of looking at things. I focused more on myself, my thoughts, my actions & opinions. I did a lot of reading on mindfulness & that was a huge help. I love the ToDo website http://www.todoinstitute.com/

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!

Lav

[daisy45]

Overit, the Power of the Subconcious Mind by Joseph Murphy is a great book.....it will change your perception on Murphy's Law! All about changing your thinking.
Hope your mom is doing as well as she can be....you are actually sounding positive even though you have so much going on.
Feeling better again today....got a bit dopey yesterday so I'm going to see if I can go today without any medication. Couldn't get an appointment today so it will be next week before I see the doc.
Taking 6 kids out for a treat day today to an indoor adventure place, then out for fast food.
Actually looking forward to it.....

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!
Over-it, you make such a good point about others having life so much worse. As you all know, I don't suffer in silence! I had a crappy week last week! It was just ONE aggravation piled on to another! Last Friday afternoon, as I sat there waiting on my tire to be changed, I thought about those people who were REALLY hurting. Our own Dottie Belle who lost her husband suddenly one month ago. Nursie, who is living thru extraordinary circumstances. My step daughter, widowed at 43! What they would give to be sitting in a tire store with MY problems!!?? So I left my pity party and turned things around and said, yes, this is delaying my getting home, but I have someone there waiting for me that I almost lost (to drinking). I got a second chance and I am grabbing it with both hands!

It's all a matter of perspective. To a worm, digging around in the hard, dry dirt is a lot more relaxing than going fishing!

Friday at last! It's just another day in the week, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Batten down the hatches and make sure your PLAN is strong! Byrdie

[Hanna]

Good morning nesters
Well, after a roller coaster ride in my marriage over the last week or so, my husband and I had a heart to heart last night. We may be ok. I hope so. The ONLY thing I can control is my drinking. I am done. It is just poison. Looking forward to getting, and giving support here.

Drinking just sucks

[Overit-still]

Hi Daisy, I'm not a Murphys Kawbperson, just didn't want to give crap justice by explaining everything and thought that term would explain if best. Somedays life just makes you scratch your head and stomp your feet.

Hanna, I'm so glad God you. I tell you, that exact same thing was my wake up call 33 days ago and I have no regrets except time wasted. Let's move on.

Birdie-thanks for putting my thoughts on oaper, that's exactly what I was trying to get out.

I hope everyone has s great day! I'm traveling today to go to my moms and I'm already sleepy.

[KENSHO]

Be done Hanna! I actually told my therapist on several occasions that I wanted to FIRST fix all the difficult things in my life, THEN stop drinking (because I thought the hard things were causing the drinking). Turns out, that while hard things may have contributed to my desire to drink, I was completely ill-equipped to address them while drinking. I had to STOP drinking first. Not only was I better able to address my issues with a clear head, many of my so-called "difficult things" were a direct CAUSE of my drinking.

STOP Drinking, and watch your life improve on EVERY LEVEL! It may take a few months of discomfort, but it's like trying to get to an open door on the other side of the room while wading through 4' of muck, blind folded and with strobe lights. STOP drinking, and the muck and blindfold and flashing lights go away, and you can reach that door much easier! Once you go through the door, you still have to do the work of normal life (shitty days, flat tires, improving or letting go of relationships, learning to de-stress), but doing these things is infinitely easier without the MUCK OF ALCOHOL! In fact, it is nearly impossible to "fix" anything while drinking.

Make the first step in bettering your life, and have faith that we that have done it are telling you the truth!

Happy Friday.

[LilBit]

OMG, I am SO over the Man Pout!! (Apologies to any gentlemen here who wouldn't dream of it.) Another fight with the fiancee, but this time, I am staying sober. I actually think the AL used to wear me down and make me cave in when he acted like an arse, but no more! He's not liking the stronger LilBit, though. It's a tough situation. Any thoughts?

[Byrdlady]

OMG, I am SO over the Man Pout!! (Apologies to any gentlemen here who wouldn't dream of it.) Another fight with the fiancee, but this time, I am staying sober. I actually think the AL used to wear me down and make me cave in when he acted like an arse, but no more! He's not liking the stronger LilBit, though. It's a tough situation. Any thoughts?

My first thought is "I gotta be me!"

In my case, AL stripped away so much that I didn't even realize it at the time. It took all my confidence, I couldn't remember what I had said, so I had no conviction anymore. I always felt defeated and anxious. I didn't stand up for myself, I guess, because I didn't think I was worth it. All I cared about was being in a position to have my next drink-fest. Not a very pretty picture. Once life mattered again, the relationship with my hubs changed, too. I wasn't always apologizing anymore, or giving in because I felt guilty or couldn't remember. I stood up for myself, and that was a big change for me. This really is a period of growth, LilBit. My friend, Kuya, used to say that whatever age we got hooked on this stuff, our emotional maturity froze in time. I believe that. I had 30-cough,cough years of growing up to do. I believe that I am now all balanced out now, and have been for some time, but it was an adjustment to get here.
Maybe you are seeing the relationship thru a clearer set of eyes now? It may take some getting used to. Now that your AL isn't to blame, perhaps he doesn't like where the finger is pointing!!! (pun intended!!) Hugs to you....stand your ground, you are worth it. Byrdie

[Guitarista]

My first thought is "I gotta be me!"

In my case, AL stripped away so much that I didn't even realize it at the time. It took all my confidence, I couldn't remember what I had said, so I had no conviction anymore. I always felt defeated and anxious. I didn't stand up for myself, I guess, because I didn't think I was worth it. All I cared about was being in a position to have my next drink-fest. Not a very pretty picture. Once life mattered again, the relationship with my hubs changed, too. I wasn't always apologizing anymore, or giving in because I felt guilty or couldn't remember. I stood up for myself, and that was a big change for me. This really is a period of growth, LilBit. My friend, Kuya, used to say that whatever age we got hooked on this stuff, our emotional maturity froze in time. I believe that. I had 30-cough,cough years of growing up to do. I believe that I am now all balanced out now, and have been for some time, but it was an adjustment to get here.
Maybe you are seeing the relationship thru a clearer set of eyes now? It may take some getting used to. Now that your AL isn't to blame, perhaps he doesn't like where the finger is pointing!!! (pun intended!!) Hugs to you....stand your ground, you are worth it. Byrdie

Yo Nesters near and not so far. This post is an important one Byrdy. It reminds us of the self confidence and conviction lost when we are drinking. Some of life's basics, that we often don't even realise we have lost. Would you consider putting this in the toolbox?

Wishing all a safe, sober and magical weekend. G

[Hanna]

Hi nesters

Thank you Kensho for the very good advice. I am committed to not drinking. All the rest will have to work itself out. I am feeling much better and stronger today. The last week or so were just really bad. I don't remember being in such a dark place before. That is not typical of me. But maybe I needed it to serve as a wake up call.
Almost 5 pm and drinking is off the table.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I finally have some quiet time. My daughter & granddaughter went home & my grandsons moved in for the night BUT they have gone to bed - yay!!! You would not believe how much noise a 3yr, 4yr & 6 yr old can make - crazy!!!

Hanna, I was in your shoes when I first found MWO. I was so sick & tired of disappointing myself I had to do something drastic. I made a solemn vow to never, ever touch another drop & I haven't. I had forgotten what it was like to fell proud of myself but I'll tell you, it's a good thing. You can do it too, stick around with us for a while

Lil, my thoughts......let him decide what he wants, the new & improved you or not. It took my husband a four year hiatus until he finally decided that he needed to make some changes too! We all need to make choices!

Daisy, glad you were able to get out & about today. I hope you continue to feel a bot better every day.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest. Still chilly in these parts, I even have a fire going tonight.

Lav

[Overit-still]

As you can tell my previous post today was my phone, if looks like I had been drinking! Arrived safely in my moms town, will see her tomorrow. Good night all. So good the nest travels with me ��

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Happy Friday. Trouble is relative - good to remember. My younger son is struggling with a lot of things right now - school, social stuff, some behavior at home, etc. I feel so bad for him and want to both kick his butt and hug him. Such a hard time, and his brother has had life SO easy, so he feels like a "bad" person. I am not projecting too much, but just the type of personality to try alcohol on a dare, and like the forgetting it helps him do. He'll definitely have to find his own way, but I am so grateful that I am not drinking and can serve as a role model for him. And be present.

I found when I was drinking I was MORE annoyed with my husband I think because it deflected the focus from me if I pointed out his flaws. It has been humbling to be sober and see my part in what was making our relationship bad. It is by no means perfect now - focus on you is good advice (would we expect anything different from Lav and Byrdie?)

I stopped by the store tonight for my Friday night pint - of ice cream. I will savor it for the weekend - maybe I'll address that new habit some day...

Happy SOBER Friday, Nest.

xo
Pav