Newbies Nest

[available]

Morning nest

A quiet time to check in although i read everyday.

Congratulations Dutch a great achievement in 90 days. Keep up the great work. When i reached 90 days i bought a new bra and an electric toothbrush. I loved rewarding myself with money i did not spend on drinking. Now i always have money to pay bills and buy things i want. i shudder to remember how many times my power/gas/phone was disconnected so i could get my next fix of wine instead of paying the basics.

Hi Idefineme and welcome to the nest. Keep checking in and being accountable. You can do this, hard as it may seem or as impossible as it may seem to let go of al, its totally possible with the right tools to help along the way.

Long weekend for me and i have procrastinated about rearranging my bedroom for oh 6 months. This is it, no more excuses, today is the day. Sounds great when i type it out and i have the children to help if and when they wake up.

Have a great sober weekend.

[Pie]

hi, everyone. I'm new here. this weekend I will be starting on antabuse and am curious what other's experiences with this drug have been? I guess I'm feeling a little anxious, but i don't know if that's because of the subconscious thought of stopping drinking, or just no faith in myself in stopping. any insight is appreciated. <3

Hello and glad you found us! I used Antabuse to get my quit rolling. You're welcome to read the posts I made in this thread, in case any of it helps you. https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...Cat-Dragged-In

You can also use the search function to find other threads that mention Antabuse, though sometimes we use the shorthand, AB.

Best,
Pie

[LavenderBlue]

Belated congrats to Dutch on your 90 days!

Made it home from the reception, I did not drink (or smoke, some of those cravings were almost worse!) while I was there. It definitely was harder with it right in front of me plus with not knowing most of the folks there. It wasn't even just wanting a drink to take the edge off, but normally I would have broken the ice by joining the group passing around the bottle of whiskey.

What I wound up doing was for one, making sure I had something in my hands - whether a glass of water, coffee, my phone, food. When the thoughts did come up, I kept reminding myself that I never have just one. That was the biggest temptation, of course - "Oh, but I just want one to relax/break the ice/whatever." Even if it ended up "only" being two or three, that's a path I don't want to start down.

It's kind of nuts the way your brain goes, I don't know how close I was to doing anything, but I definitely had the, "Well, no one would have to know" type of thoughts. Only one person there really knows I quit, it would have been easy to grab something when she was busy with something else. I think part of what held me back was knowing that so many folks start that way, but don't end with the "just this once." And knowing me, I'm not convinced I'd leave at just once no matter how many times I used that as an excuse.

I'm not sure if it was super more fun or super less fun without drinking, tbh. It's been about 5 or 6 years since I've seen anyone I know from out of town, and like I said a lot of the folks there I didn't even know. Even when I was drinking I'd get tired fast when around a lot of people, and even faster when it was people I didn't know. I definitely did still have fun, though. And sober I think I didn't try so hard to be entertaining. I hung around the bride since I knew her, I chatted with some of the other people there...but I really didn't mind when I was just sitting by myself with my phone. I felt less pressure to be the one chatting with EVERYONE.

It was also interesting watching how others drank. Most folks there started with just water, had a few drinks, and then went back to water again. I know I would have gone straight for the liquor as soon as I got there and then chased that buzz the whole time. Water is something you have AFTER you definitely shouldn't drink anymore, not right when you get there! (or so my mind always went)

This got long but I'm still kind of, "Wow," that I actually didn't drink. Also pretty worn out, all that plus just the drive when I'm not used to it is really hitting me now.

[kherriot]

Haven't been on lately. Hubby home, leaving tomorrow. All things good with us. Just really busy with finalizing Mother In Laws resting place and waiting for the "Stone" After all that has happened I have to say, my husband is a rock. I have now decided that if he says or does anything that tick's me off I let him know it (and visa versa) and we stop everything and talk about it right then and there. Instead of letting it fester and add on other stupid stuff which probably wasn't that important. Lots of yard work, town trips, some because we wanted to, others because we had to. Life is good right now and I feel energetic and positive. I could not have done with without everyone on here. I thought I was lost till I found everyone and now I see others joining as well. I think that is great. I hope everyone is having a good summer so far, just have to finalize the sale of my mother in laws house and then it should be over. SORRY.. rambling on, just needed a release.

Thanks to everyone that has been in the same boat as me and there is absolutely no criticism just support.

[kherriot]

One more comment if that is okay, I haven't mentioned this but now it is starting to bug me. A lot of my friends that have quit drinking (ya for them) are still getting hi on other substances, especially the ones you smoke and it is not tobacco. I have always thought that they are just changing one addiction for another. They all feel so proud of themselves for not drinking and working out and then go out onto the back deck and have a smoke. They all know that I do not partake and I could care less what they do but to me they haven't accepted the fact that they are still addicted. A couple of them have said, just try it and I have declined very politely. My whole family smokes and it was just never my thing. I have wondered though, but my twin sister says it would be a waste on me. I guess you have to be in the mind set I don't know.

Sorry ranting again, maybe worried about being alone tomorrow and there is a workout, depending who shows up, last Thursday it was just me again. I will say goodnight now and leave everyone alone.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Dutch, CONGRATS to you on your 90 AF days!!!
You are rewiring your brain, becoming stronger each & every AF day

kherriot, glad everything has worked out for you!
I am a lot older than most around here & I can honestly tell you that I just don't care what other people are doing, drinking or smoking even. It just really doesn't matter because people are going to do what they want to do & I am not going to waste my time worrying about them. I don't want to sound mean, I am just at the point in life where all I want peace
I enjoy my grandkids, my chickens & gardens - positive stuff

Glad the wedding reception went well for you LavB.

Greetings to all who stopped by today & welcome home Ms. Byrdie!!!
Have a safe & comfy night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[LilBit]

So, here we all are in the OBX. We awoke to the sound of waves, the throaty laughter of gulls and a scarlet sunrise streaked across a muted purple sky. It's windy this morning, kicking the surf into rolling white caps and poofing away the clouds from a perfect Carolina blue canvas overhead. We're sipping coffee in the crow's nest and it promises to be a glorious day.

Hi Overit and Kherriot. It's good to see you both, again.

Dutch, congrats on your 90, and if you celebrate with a drink, I want to be the first to count the Stella footprints all over your back.

Great post, Lav. It's truly about our own simple pleasures and what makes us happy. Other people will always have theirs.

Off to try & spot some dolphins...

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters

Sun & no rain this morning - what's going on out there?? Ha ha!
I really can't complain though, it has been good weather for the garden.

Lil, glad you arrived safely. I hope you have a lovely vacation

We are heading to our daughter's house today to help with a home repair project & do some grilling outside. Glad to be happy, healthy, ready & able to be of help & get to spend the day with my granddaughter! This is the life I wanted!!
I'm leaving Stella in charge of things around here, my dogs better behave, ha ha!!

Have a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[Overit-still]

hi, everyone. I'm new here. this weekend I will be starting on antabuse and am curious what other's experiences with this drug have been? I guess I'm feeling a little anxious, but i don't know if that's because of the subconscious thought of stopping drinking, or just no faith in myself in stopping. any insight is appreciated. <3

Antabuse is the bomb! There are some cautions regarding some foods and cleaning products, familiarize yourself with those although I had no ill effects at all. Good luck to you!

[Overit-still]

Good morning everyone! Have to get off my lazy you know what and get ready for church. Good to see everyone and congrats to Dutch on 90!

[paulywogg]

I use antabuse when I get thoughts, you're supposed to take it daily but it makes me feel weird, I'm starting to question my liver health, however I also take an herb supp for mood so maybe there's some sort of interaction there?LavB,had the same eexperience yesterday, was so happy to be free from al,chains broken, let out of prison kind of feeling, it wasour aanniversary and we went to dinner, out of a group of 8 only 2 ordered beer,one each then they switched to coffee, how the hell do people do that!! It was the most amazing thing to me(which is sad) if I had decided to drink yesterday, I would have drank 6 getting ready,one tall boy chugged in the parking lot, 2 at dinner and more when I got home and the dinner wouldn't have been fun,I'd be jonesing for beer,beer and more beer,even with one right in front of me,yesterday was the biggest wake up call I've had in this whole journey, how different life can be without drinking, how freeing, and even though I had crazy nerves,I felt at peace inside although that frosty glass of beer looked sexy as hell across the table with foam and condensation dripping seductively down its side,I quickly averted my eyes haha,it may have looked great,but it doesn't do great things

[LavenderBlue]

Pauly, good for you and yes, exactly! I showed up early enough to join the group helping to set up and none of them were drinking - which makes sense, things hadn't started yet and they were setting up. But if I was still drinking? I'd have gone for some the instant I showed up and likely never even noticed that no one else did. My only regret is that I went and left my sparkling water in the car and didn't want to walk all the way back to get it. Meant I had to dig a little harder to make sure I had nonAL soda and coffee, and after not having soda in so long it really didn't taste great to me anymore. Next time I'll definitely bring my own even if the folks in charge say not to worry about it - if I brought a case it wouldn't even feel weird, just a donation to the event.

Oh, and for anyone wondering about it I really didn't have issues with the other folks there - and this was definitely a drinking crowd. The bride offered me a drink early on, forgot I quit with the stress of the day poor thing, but I just reminded her and then everything was fine. When I had to ask around for the soda I just phrased it as "looking for the caffeine" or that I can't drink on my medication. Which is interesting, I've been pretty open with folks that I've quit drinking, but at a crowded reception it just seemed easier to give a simple answer after all.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Good morning, and in the words of Narily, I am happy for an UN-HUNG Sunday morning. I had to deal with my teenager into the wee hours - emotional drama around a friend who is leaving. Thank goodness I was sober and could wake up to rationally discuss the situation with him and help him come to a resolution. Two years ago I would have been in a deep alcohol-induced sleep on a Saturday night, and he would have been alone to deal. SO GRATEFUL I could be there both physically and mentally for him.

Kherri - I have contemplated trying to smoke weed just as a way to let go a little. I have smoked in my past but not for a while. I always liked alcohol more and never wanted to mix the two - makes for a more sloppy and tired drunk! I talked it over with my therapist and thought about it a lot. I decided that for me, part of getting sober - a BIG part of getting sober - is learning how to deal with things without a substance. I can get through tough emotions with my brain alone (and ice cream). It is a revelation to me, and a work in progress, but I decided that I need to be able to relax and unwind on my own.

Lil - sounds beautiful. I love those Atlantic beaches. Of course I love the Pacific beaches, too, but they are always so cold!

Lav - love that attitude. That is one of the benefits of aging for sure.

idefineme - How are you doing?

Pauly - Glad you had that clarity and fun. It really is amazing to see how little others drink...

I am off to get a lot of house things done, and then to watch basketball. We in Northern California have Warriors fever. Hope you all have great, sober, UN HUNG Sundays.

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Sick as a dog. Been on the couch all day. I hate being sick. Glad I caught it at the end of our trip! Hope everyone has a peaceful day. Byrdie

[Turnagain]

A lot of my friends that have quit drinking (ya for them) are still getting hi on other substances, especially the ones you smoke and it is not tobacco. I have always thought that they are just changing one addiction for another.

I think we might just have some of the same friends, Kherriot! Actually, I think it is quite common for people to switch to another substance once they quit drinking. Unfortunately, they really are just filling in the addiction hole in the brain as opposed to healing the brain circuitry and damage that's been altered by the substances. As far as the limbic system is concerned, it's still getting its fix - it's just being ingested in another form. But the damage to the brain is still being done. It's like jumping off cliffs on the east side of the island after getting injured from cliff jumping on the west side. What they really need to do is stop jumping!

Slowly, but surely, the mechanisms of addiction are being discovered and it takes awhile for that information to leave the lab and find widespread awareness and acceptance. I don't go full-tilt Miss-Smarty-Science-Pants with an axe and extinguisher with my pot (and cigarette) smoking former drinking friends, but I do provide nonjudgmental information about brain works (if they ask) and offer to point them to other resources where they can learn on their own.

It feels so good to experience the joy of firing on all cylinders and being healthy and free from all addiction. Everybody should and could have this....