Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I have to admit I am tired after a 12 hr day with a feisty 4 year old, Ha ha!!
There would be no chance in hell I could be doing this stuff, at this age if I was still hugging a wine bottle. No way!!

Welcome back blackflag! Stay close to the nest, report in often

Matt, it's a good thing when you finally realize & admit that you are out of quits - this one IS THE ONE!!!! For me it was a huge relief getting that damn monkey off my back
All we have to do is wake up each & every day & choose not to drink. We are fortunate when you consider the alternatives.
Hope your Texas heat doesn't get too bad.

Dutch, I really hope you & your brother keep the business happy & healthy. You certainly have had a lot to deal with lately but you are doing great. Don't forget to treat yourself with a little kindness.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest.

Lav

[little beagle]

My mantra is No Matter What, not one, not ever.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Hump day to all!

LB, keep that personal mantra going - it's working

Let's all keep our personal mantras forefront in our minds. It's such a simple & effective tool We truly are what we believe!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Good idea, Lav. Mine is a real simple, "I don't drink". There's no need for any internal argument - and there's no reason for us to waste another moment of our time on an addiction.

It it is a little frustrating, though, to sit around watching others waste time with wine. It is amazing to me how much pre-, post-, and during dinner conversation can be spent on the subject of wine! I never knew all the fancy stuff anyway so didn't really contribute much but I guess all the talk didn't annoy me because at least I was drinking it. The discussion with the server last evening about what to order to compliment everyone's choice was so long and nuanced, you'd have thought they were discussing life-saving medication!

Oh well, I'm up and at-em on a beautiful summer morning and the rest are in bed...

Have a good one, Nesters!

[enzo'smomf/k/ajenniech]

anyone have a crappy childhood like me? Here is what I have recently learned about myself and maybe it applies to you……….
As a child in my household, I had no power to change what was happening around me. So, I had to tolerate what was unacceptable to me. Growing up in an intolerable situation made me into an adult who didn't know how to set boundaries between the acceptable and unacceptable. So, as an adult, not knowing how to set boundaries, I was living with intolerable things which created inner turmoil making me want to drink. I would drink away my negative emotions because I did not know any other way. Being sober going on 6 months has taught me that I need to learn how to set boundaries in my life. That I can not afford to have intolerable things in my life. The unacceptable is no longer welcome. Of course, this is so much easier said than done, but it is something I am working on right now and it is helping me so much….it is making my sobriety so much more satisfying. Life is good.

[Pavati]

Morning--

Popping by on my way to work. I love the posts today.

I had a hard time with powerlessness - I didn't want to admit that. SO - as my avatar says, I TAKE the power from alcohol by not drinking it. As long as I can do that, I know I can win.

Have fabulous hump days. I'll try to check back later...

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Enzo's Mom, I can relate! When I think back on my childhood, one word emerges: FRUSTRATION. It took me a while to put everything in its rightful place, but in the 4.5 years that I've been sober, I'm happy to say that things are pretty well stored away now (and dealt with as best I can). I realize that I can't FIX everything that happened...and I have accepted it. Some things are just beyond our control. Letting go is a BIG part of this sober walk. It gets better and better over time until PEACE is made with it! So stay tuned! The best is yet to come!

Matt, what a powerful post! You are so right....one way or another, we AL abusers ARE going to quit! HOW it's done is our choice!! So proud of you for surpassing your personal best! Stay in these uncharted waters, friend!! It's THE place to be!! I ain't got another quit in me either....there's a country song in there somewhere!!

Hope everyone has a peaceful day!! Byrdie

[Matt M.]

Good Morning

Lav- Yes mam, The relief of knowing I am done, don't want to go back, not thinking of the "maybe" "one day" I'll be able to drink normally..Been there,done that, saw the movie, have the tshirt! I ran out of ways to moderate...

LBeagle- Love the know matter what mantra, I read a book that really drove that point...

NS- Simple yet so powerful, I don't drink- Aint gonna drink, cant drink..The End

Pav- Love that taking the power away from Al.
I had to admit defeat, I'm that guy that will keep getting up after being knockdown until I'm brain dead.
Just for me I had to tell Al -You win I'm done, now go fuck yourself.....

Byrd- Thank you for being You..
I work with a guy that dabbles in country singing and song writing. "I ain't got another quit in me" may end up on the radio....I'll get you some royalties.
There are many country song's are drinking themed, I always liked an older one by Travis Tritt- The Whiskey aint workin anymore"

Stay Hard weirdos!

[Lavande]

Keep behaving yourself Matt - you've got this

Jennie, I was raised by a control freak/terrorist dad AND I went to Catholic school for the first 8 years so I totally relate to feeling powerless. That crap caused me to make some hard choices like getting married at the age of 19. I just wanted out & that was the only way I could escape somewhat peacefully. Things were different back then. I refuse to let all that crap control me now, it's history & long over!!! It's a brand new era, so make the most of it every single day

[Overit-still]

Good day everyone! Just checking in on the sober side of life today. Busy, busy, busy...........

[blackflag]

Hey everyone, still hanging in, at the end of day 2. Day off tomorrow too! Be nice to wake up sober and enjoy the day.

[kherriot]

It is really good to hear that I am not alone with what I am feeling. Reading everyone's posts it is like I can relate to most of them. Today is a really hard day, I think it is because I am doing Corporate Taxes right now. Had to walk away from it for a while, I have till the end of the month so it is not that important right now. It is 1/2 done so won't take long tomorrow to finish it off. Just feeling stressed out right now so I am going to take it easy for awhile. Made the mistake of making a pie and almost ate 1/2 of it. Venting is good. Tomorrow is another day things will be better. I have come to realize that the things that keep you awake at night are just easier to deal with them and get them over with. Now that I have finished 1/2 I am sure I will be able to relax tonight and have a fresh start tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a good night.

[abcowboy]

Howdy all! I love stopping by the Nest and reading all the posts, trials, tribulations, struggles, and words of wisdom and support, a kind of “one size fits all”. I had a pm this morning from someone who just joined. Whenever I can stay on top of the real Newbies, I send them a “Welcome to MWO” pm. Anyway, this person pm’d back saying thanks for the welcome and asked how many years of sobriety I had!!

It made me chuckle a bit…. years?? How about month’s haha. Then I went back and read a bunch of my posts and maybe I do come across a bit like an old timer. I guess I am, but only in my mind. I seriously started my journey about a year and a half ago, then came a few slips, but I’m on my final quit now. I am a fairly determined individual, when I set my mind on something, I get it done, no matter what. That shows what kind of power AL has over us. No matter how determined I was, the demon always talked me out of it! No more! Done, over, dead and buried! And if everyone wants the same, it’s there for the taking. All you need is determination, hard work, a bit of sacrifice, and lots and lots of support! It can be done, just look at all the old timers….they did it and we can too. So, when you want to pick up that next drink, ask yourself, do you want to be an old timer, or continue being a newbie? Not a tough question, and the answer is easy. It took me a while to understand that quitting is easy, anyone can quit. The tough part is staying quit! But once you have made that commitment, made the changes that need to be made in your lifestyle, then staying quit becomes easy as well! So, what’s holding you back……..

[Pavati]

Hi All:

GREAT to see you back, BlackFlag. As a music person (am I right - I remember talking Henry Rollins with you), how do you deal with the crossover of music and alcohol? I was SO worried about seeing live shows sober, but now I realize that the music actually sounds better and the experience more real when I am sober. There are sometimes, however, when a certain song will remind me of a good beer (well, what I remember as "good" before the bad times set in). Anyway - glad you're back. Hang tough for that day three siren song...

Lav- that's forgiveness, right? Most specifically, forgiving yourself. I was lamenting something I did in my 20s (rather, something I didn't do), and my dad said, yeah, but whatever experiences you've had are what lead you to this point right now, and that's a pretty good place to be, right? I have to admit, he was right.

Has anyone heard from Lil Bit? I miss you, Lil!

Last day of school for son #1 this week, and #2 next. Looking forward to a little unwinding and having fun.

Hope all is well.

Pav

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had a day with grownups only, ha ha!!!
Love my grandkids but not every day.....

Pav, yeah I think forgiveness helps us move on from that old stuff. My Dad is long gone & I keep telling myself he did the best he could do BUT I still think he was an A--hole for the most part. He could have chosen to be different with people, a better all around person, it was his choice. How do you keep your kids occupied all summer? That was always a huge challenge

cowboy, your voice comes through loud & clear - great! I'm glad you are reaching out to the newest newbies!

kherriot, sounds like you have a big challenge with the tax work. Great that you are half way through & feeling good!

Hi there blackflag & Overit!

Lil, we all hope you are enjoying your OBX vacation in the sun

Wishing everyone a safe 7 comfy night on the nest! Hang in there everyone!

Lav