Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Good afternoon!
I hate it when MWO goes offline! Feels like Im working without a net!
Back home now, recovering from all the chores we did for my stepdaughter! Good to be home.
Hope everyone is having a super sober Sunday! Byrdie

[actiongirl46]

JDG - great idea, it is good to keep busy. Your family sounds awesome.

Kensho - the carnitas turned out wonderful!! A big hit. Thanks again, that is one of my favorite dishes.

Speaking of keeping busy JDG, I need to go find something to do. I'll check in later - AG

[j-vo]

No MWO for a few days. Felt kinda weird.

Ava, glad your date went well. And I binge watched Nurse Jackie and loved it. It really grasped addiction and how it gets worse as the seasons went on. I would rewatch it.

JDG, glad you're doing well, and I know what you mean. I don't have anymore quits in me either. LAFQ. Doesn't mean it'll be easy. Nothing that is worth anything is easy.

Have a good night all.

[Lavande]

Good evening nesters,

Haven't been able to get on the site since early Saturday morning & here it is Sunday night.
Glad to see everyone survived

JDG, good luck with your travel plan. I hope everything goes well for you, keep your plan close.

Lil, Cheetos? Really??Ha ha!! Take a picture of your orange stained fingers for us!! Enjoy!!

Hello to everyone who has managed to pop in this weekend.
Here's to a better week for MWO site management.
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Ack! Back from skiing with kids. Fun and tiring. Really challenging to not eat good food AND not drink in the social company of our friends. Proud of my husband and I to make it through. Interesting conversation again with husband - he truly believes I was controlling my alcohol intake fine. He is very stubborn about announcing this to me - even when I don't ask. I am tired of explaining to him, so I just move on being happy with my decision. Don't want to waste any more time with that. I did wake up in the middle of the night and felt a little nauseous (for whatever reason - altitude?), and I remembered SO clearly how much I DON'T want to be experiencing the 3am come-down or hangover. SO GLAD! One drink sounds nice, but 4 sounds horrible, and that is what I would want.

[lex]

Thanks for reminding me about those 3 AM anxiety-ridden come downs. I don't ever want to experience those moments again!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, it's Monday!!

Glad you enjoyed your weekend in the snow Kensho. We have none here & I am happy about that! Every sober weekend/event brings us closer to being our real selves

Hi lex, what's going on with you?

Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[daisy45]

Hi Nesters....I am embarrassed to say I drank.....all the awful consequences....
I do not want to fall back into continuing like I have done before.
LC, What can I say? I have to go back to day 1......

[Byrdlady]

Good Happy Leap Morning!

It's good to have the site back up and running! I am looking for the clean-ups and improvements! It was weird to not have access to my support. It lets me know just how important this place is to my sobriety. Checking in here every day is normal for me, so it feels funny when I can't do that.

Daisy, I'm so sorry you chose to drink. This addiction is ruthless.


JDG, how long since your last drink? I've missed you on roll call since you got your hat! Good luck with the traveling!

Hope everyone has an easy day today. Byrdie

[j-vo]

Morning Nesters,

Daisy, I don't want to pry, but what made you take that drink? How can we help you not to do that again? Is there someone you can call when the urge is so great? I have a few phone numbers and I'm not afraid to use them. Texting can help me lots too. Just knowing someone that is in the same boat as you are is a tremendous help.

It's a dreary Monday morning, but it's a sober one. Hope to see some new birdies flying into the nest this morning, Lavendar46? T2Q? Pull up a branch.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Morning everyone,

Thank you for all the well wishes with my travel. I am settled in and getting to know my new surroundings. I am spending a lot of time reading. I have had to identify a new trigger in my life. I thought by now I knew them all but I guess not. This lapse was short lived, thank God,and I have not had any of the ill-side effects, again THANK GOD.

It's -day 2 and all is well. Looking forward to meeting new friends, getting to know new places (non-AL related) and re-defining my self and my marriage.

Lav - Old plan is close, working on modifications though.

Kensho - glad you had a good time skiing. I would love to go snow skiing. Maybe if we have to go to ND or NM this fall or winter I will get the chance. We usually move about every 2-3 months, depending on the length of time the particular job takes.

Lex - How are you? Good to see you on here. Stick around ok?

Daisy - So did I. We know the drill. We dust off and get right back on the horse. It is good that we both came right back to where we know the support is. I try not to hate anything in life but I HATE this disease. As someone else said, Do you know what caused the slip? I know what caused mine and I identified it and told my family about it. Hang in there we can do this.

Byrdie - It has been 2 days since my last drink.

Off to roll call,
JDG

[NoSugar]

Hi Nesters....I am embarrassed to say I drank.....all the awful consequences....
I do not want to fall back into continuing like I have done before.
LC, What can I say? I have to go back to day 1......

Hi, Daisy
You are back to day 1 of consecutive days AF but no one can take from you all you gained during the 100+ days during which you didn't act on the urgings of your wrongly-conditioned primitive brain. You probably, like most people here, have years of essentially automatically using alcohol to make yourself feel better - it's almost a subconscious reflex. During those 100+ days, you did a lot of re-conditioning of that lower brain. Every time it occurred to you to drink and you didn't, you weakened that negative neural connection and strengthened ones that serve you better.

The problem with addictions is that the brain can quickly re-establish the hurtful connection. The pathways are still there. For 100+ days you didn't take that road and found other routes to contentment and peace. Something happened this weekend and for whatever reason, you took the easy road out. It doesn't have to happen again and coming right back here makes it less likely that it will. By posting, you're reminding yourself that there are other routes to contentment or happiness or lack of pain or whatever you seek. You know that you need to take those instead and the good news is, you can, and get yourself back to and beyond where you were a few days ago. This is a tragedy only if you let it be by using it as excuse to go back to daily drinking.

If the site is down and you need help, use the FB and email connections you have. No one needs to try to do this alone. xx, NS

[KENSHO]

How are we different? There is a gap between me & people - including friends of mine - who drink frequently, but do not declare themselves problem drinkers. Sometimes they talk about their drinking. THEY TOO drink for stress relief - or to cope - or to loosen up in social settings. THEY TOO crave a drink or a few after a long day or week. THEY TOO have hangovers after over-doing it. I don't see a lot of difference in drinking habits between me and these people - except for this:

I was dishonest and hid my drinking. I drank alone - a lot. I couldn't WAIT to get that first drink in me each afternoon/evening, and I thought about it from noon-on. I HATED that I wanted it every day - and HATED that I couldn't make myself "just not want it" - for a day or a few days or a week. I obsessed about it and made sure I would have it. I would "prime" my party with a shot or two. I would drink any type of alcohol - to get the buzz. My consumption went from 1-2 every few days to 3-4 every night.

Others I know drink to relieve hard things in life, and I heard lots of them justifying it this weekend - "A beer or two is actually good for you...", and "I think the psychological component of relaxing with alcohol is healthy..." (to which I replied to my husband "Alcohol is a neurotoxin and every drink does damage"). But beyond drinking for relief, alcohol made me feel terrible about myself. I hated thinking about it all the time and I hated feeling hungover, and I hated feeling controlled by something. That's the difference. These people may drink for the same reasons and tell themselves the same lies, but they do not hate how it makes them feel enough to try and change anything.

It was not obvious that I was a problem drinker. The problem was within myself. And though I am very grateful for the incredibly positive changes in my life since quitting, I do have to remain diligent reminding myself WHY I DON'T DRINK. I think it may be time to dig out some of the old posts - describing how miserable I was. And I WAS MISERABLE.

[KENSHO]

One other thing... this is an excerpt from Holly Whitaker's blog "hip sobriety" that I love - - because I have gained so much more than drinking soda water instead...:

"Always, I'm reminded of how grateful I am that the bottom fell out, that I was nailed to the wall, that my hand was forced. What luck.

This thing we call sobriety, this path that we initially believe to be about abstaining from a substance, is, as it turns out, not really about that at all. It is the wake up call, the invitation, the way back home and the way beyond the prison each of us humans have made for ourselves here on earth. We are not more special than anyone else, but oh, we are so special. Because here, on this path, we are pushed and prodded and cajoled to do something we never thought we could do, would actually have to do, so that we can do the thing we have always longed to do: See what lies beyond."

[available]

Morning nesters

J, i love Nurse Jackie and Mom. Its amazing to see how they show how our addiction affects everyone around us and we never see that until after we have done the damage and had some time away from our addiction.

Daisy where was your support network? Where were you on MWO? I utilised everyone and everything i had to not drink. Sometimes the situation and everyday life tries to take us down but never as much as what al does. I remember walking around in circles just wanting to walk out that door and buy a bottle of wine, the al voice being unrelentless in its intensity but my desire and need to be sober stopped me and also that i could not let anyone down ever again. You will continue to relapse if you dont put in 150% and some days more than that. When i read your post i shuddered to think how you feel and yes it could be me also but the need and want for me to be sober surpasses everything and it has from day 1. I dont ever ever want another day 1 in my life again.

JD, a quit buddy is always good. I could never find some triggers as they just jumped out at me. What could start off as a great day, ended in shit and i just had to learn to deal with what life threw at me and in the first year there was a lot of crap or it felt like it as our emotions are up and down like a yo yo.

Byrd, when MWO was down it felt like i had lost an arm. Thankfully I have other support to keep in contact with.

Loved your post Kensho, I definitely have a problem drinking, what used to be fun years ago slowly deteriorated at a rapid rate of knots.

1st day of autumn today.

Take care x