Newbies Nest

[Dutch1988]

hey Lil did you count day 365 or 366 as your one year? I must not be over AL yet because I am still a little bitter about quitting in a leap year. I have my sisters wedding this Saturday, looking forward to it, can't wait for it to be done with as I do worry about alcohol being there. On the flip side I like the idea of not drinking at it and being a designated driver/watching the kids. I mean today I played with my daughter and nephew for hours, couldn't believe the energy I had after a 9 hour day. that uncomfortable place where things are going too well and you worry about feeling too happy, is that a thing?

Mal trying to bring meaning to an obviously insignificant life makes me sad. The nest has supported me in my decisions to try sobriety and stay that way, and I hate the idea of someone encouraging an agenda of malice just because they don't agree with a few users. Every quarter like clock work someone drops in to walk through our minds with their dirty feet, when most of the people on here have some serious issues to work out anyway. If I was looking for help in the beginning for moderation/abstinence I would never post in a thread where I was worried I would be attacked so critically for sharing my beliefs. That's one of the reasons I have lurked but never posted in moderation/'medication. There's plenty of other ways to find meaning in one's life, many more fulfilling than creating an imagined battlefield on an Internet forum.

I was always taught you could tell the scope of a person by the size of their problems, especially with my new understanding of thinking and directing my thoughts towards the life I want, I would never spend more time than this antagonizing/pitying someone on here who is obviously suffering much more then I.

[available]

Evening nesters

Well my wallaby died so a very sad day here. We only had him visiting for a few days but he grew on you. Tried mouth to mouth and CPR but didnt work. Funny but my first thought was to have a drink. Two plus years of sobriety and my al brain kicked right into gear that i would feel less stressed. I would never have a drink but i was amazed that that thought came up. Probably as the adrenaline had been high beforehand and then the feeling of loss and disappointment. Grateful that i have the sense and knowledge to know it wont make anything better. I talked to my daughter about what i felt and she was kind of amazed that after the time i havent drank my first thought was to. As i told her my addict brain will always be there and its how i deal with it that matters.

J, good work, you did what you had to to protect your sobriety and it does get easier. Even after what i posted above, how i felt was a one off which i wasnt prepared for but was if that makes sense. A cup of coffee and a talk calmed me down. The day to day stresses i deal with really well and dont want a drink. Shows I am still learning with being sober.

Well Monday here tomorrow and a warm week. Gym and work, gym and work.

Take care x

[Eloise]

Okay, congratulations to you on your award winning bad manners.

horsey girly you are obviously bloody rich !!! shame you drink a little too much wine..
your rich do a expensive rehab
you dont need a cheesy on line forum.
cough up the dosh and do a expensive rehab ..if..!!!!you can afford a fucking horse to keep and take care of for Christ sake!!!!!
you can afford a expensive rehab golf course?
type arrangement..non?

[Eloise]

Jvo- when I felt like this listening to A Bubble Hour podcast helped a lot. I listened to them all the time the first year, gives perspective. I also listened while on my most recent holiday. Sort of sealed the deal if you know what I mean.

Good morning,
So last night I had a really bad hour or so that I struggled with the thought of wanting to get trashed. Having that kind of thought just reinforces the truth: we are not normal drinkers. For whatever reason, my mood, that time of month, what I ate, the day's events, it came hard. I texted a few people to tell them, needed the support. and butt dialed someone and glad that accident happened because I got to talk about my frustration . I was also glad that I had to be somewhere, although back in the day, I would have not gone and done my parent duty. It was a good distraction. Afterwards, a bunch of parents went to a restaurant to hang out and do the eating and having a few drinks. I opted out, came home and watched a few taped programs. I had gone other times, but last night just wasn't feeling like it was a good idea. Today, i am still a bit moody, but not hungover, not feeling any regrets, guilt, or remorse. I'm grateful for drinking my coffee, talking with husband about grocery store items and just glad I got thru a crappy feeling last night . Taking that drink is not worth the stuff that comes with it. We know one drink will be a thousand, and that means anxiety, depression, and everything looking ugly.

[Eloise]

Am looking for the ignore feature, thanks.

Nice to read about whats up with you Kensho. I really think this is all we can do is experiment and find what works best for us.

Hey JVO, I get that feeling too. Somewhat frequently lately. Glad you got through it. As Byrdie says, Tomorrow is ALWAYS a new day.

We have finished day 27 here, three days until the end of the diet! I learned a lot. I feel great and will keep a lot of the "clean" eating up on a daily basis. But I also know that I need some of that "emotional experience" (i.e. dopamine rush) from food at times. In moderation, I will be enjoying ice cream, bread and chocolate. That is unless they wreck me at re-introduction! I am not getting that dopamine surge from alcohol, and it helps me to be able to eat when necessary.

Here's to another day in the bank toward health. Proud of everyone here!

And don't forget that "ignore" feature on a person's profile page if you want to eliminate the negativity.

Have a great night!!

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

Glad to see everyone checking in with their tales of success!
It's not always easy keeping promises we've made to ourselves, I get that. But it certainly is one surefire way of increasing our self-love. Feeling proud of our choices is what this journey is all about.

Kensho, you have done a great job with your eating plan & I am sure you have learned a lot. We all need to be more cognizant of what we put in our bodies

Ava, so sorry to hear about your wallaby baby. I'm sure you did your best :hug:
Reaching for a bottle of something to relieve emotional discomfort is what we used to do. It takes a good long while to rid ourselves of that habitual thinking but we do, hang in there.

Hello to El, Dutch & everyone.
Wishing a great AF day for all.

Lav

[j-vo]

Ava, sorry you lost your little friend. At least he had loving before passing.

Thx El. I will consider and have listened before. I saw on hip sobriety she has podcasts as well. I'm reading on there from time to time and it's good to have more resources on hand.

Today is our last basketball banquet. Son has been playing since he was in kindergarten but we've been attending these since grade 7. Where does the time go! I'm sure I'll have tears at some point today, but happy, proud ones.

Lots of warm weather on its way, Lav! I'm looking forward to spring-like weather. Have a good one all.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
Ava, I am so sorry you lost the little one. Life ending is sad on every level, and I am finding that it drags up ALL the losses Ive had, as if grief wants to really want you to see and feel it. I guess that is how the circle if life works.

I am also amazaed at the strength of those old thoughts. Matt M. Calls it 'Muscle Memory'. Thats a really good way to look at it. We were addicted a lot longer than we've been sober, so I guess its only natural. Recognizing it all, like you did, it the important thing. Thoughts are just thoughts!

Stay strong, everyone, every consecutive day you put between you and AL is building your armour! Dont feed the beast or it's yours!! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Ava,sorry about the wallaby you sounded so in love with taking care of him in your last post

[JackDanielsGirl]

Morning all,

Quick check in. All is well hubs is off today so spending time with him.

Have a great day,
JDG

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Can't wait for Spring to actually get here. I am itching to get some gardening started
Had a nice visit with my son & grandsons this afternoon. They were just getting home after a few days of fun, sun & pre-season baseball in Florida, lucky guys!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[aihfl]

Hope everyone had a wonderful sober weekend. Spent the weekend sailing and kayaking in the Gulf of Mexico off Southwest Florida. Who needs drugs and alcohol when you can be high on life! Eloise, please ignore MalODrama. He's sent me similarly juvenile PMs. Just like a stale fart, if we ignore him (her? although I doubt it) he will dissipate like a stale fart.

Sunset over the Gulf
IMG_2587.JPG

Ready for the ride home
IMG_2583.JPG

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Back from a fun trip - wine around, but not too much. Had a great time dancing WITHOUT alcohol. Go figure.

Hi, Aihfl - I agree, and what beautiful pictures.

Ta for now...

Pav

[lifechange]

Good Morning, Nesters!

Pav, I love dancing and laughing and being crazy without al! And what I love almost more than anything else is that I remember everything. A friend of mine used to call me Goldfish, in a loving and joking way, because I sooo often couldn't remember/had no idea what we'd talked about the night before. After about a month and a half of not drinking we were having a serious discussion and not only could I remember everything we'd talked about previously, I had the confidence and presence of mind to make a good argument.. it felt so good to look him in the eye and say, "you know, I'm actually not a goldfish.. that was the alcohol".. scary, what it does to our brains.. very scary.

Ava, I'm so sorry to hear about the wallaby baby. It's so sad to have a little creature you're taking care of die..sending you love and a big hug..

Matt, that was a super post the other day.. thank you for that. spot on and so clearly and thoughtfully written..

Kensho, I wanted to say how impressed I am at your dedication to the 30 day plan.. and at how well you're taking care of yourself, how realistic you're being. So many of us are "perfectionists" and for me, it's been so important to learn to be more accepting of myself, my mistakes and perceived "weaknesses". You're stepping back and making good decisions about what is sustainable for yourself.. super! I'm also happy to hear of the positive changes your husband has found in his life..regardless of what he decides to do after, he has shown that he can do it if he wants to, which is powerful, isn't it?

J-vo, I'm also a HUGE Hip Sobriety fan. I love Holly.. I have gotten so much useful information from her posts.. she's so honest and funny and such a good writer.. great job the other night getting through the stupid AV.. thank you for coming here to share. I also get so much from your posts; as you talk it all out and ALWAYS come to the conclusion that life without is 100 million times better.

Lav, I'm also looking forward to Spring! I just have a balcony but I'm going to grow lots of amazing herbs this year.. and cherry tomatoes..

NS, I have decided to take my laptop this time so that I have the freedom to check in whenever I want to. I'm a bit worried about the visit.. but not really. I think I mentioned before that my dad has pressured me a lot less the past couple of years.. now that he's retired and on a "fixed income" (what a joke!) and drinking more himself he's become a bit stingy with his alcohol and actually doesn't even offer me anything.. but still.. I will be on guard and will have you all within easy reach.

So, I know there were a lot more people I wanted to respond to..
Aihfl, I appreciated your sound comments regarding the sick person who was posting here.. It's difficult at times, but so important not to feed that sort of fire.. I'm grateful for the ignore function which I used for the very first time yesterday.. works like a dream!

Wishing you all a lovely, Un-hung Monday!!!!

[Mr Vervill]

Good Monday morning to all. I don't have much work this week (yet), so I plan on a little me time. Getting back to the gym, and working on cleaning up the diet. Much warmer here this week, So I'll be able to get outside a little.
LC, I sure to know about that little fish brain on AL.
Ava so, so sorry about baby Wally. Those damn triggers are everywhere.
Beautiful photos aihfl!
I know I'm missing a few of ya, but gotta run. Have a great week everyone.