Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

CONGRATS ON 1 YEAR & 1 DAY AF DUTCH :yay:

I brought you some chick pops to celebrate!!!

Keep up the great work, it keeps getting better!

JDG, no one truly knows how bad AL was for you except for all of us - we totally get it
Once I made my mind up there was no going back for me!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!
PS: beautiful, real Spring weather today makes me very happy, ha ha!!

Lav

[TJAF]

Way to go Dutch! 1 year is such a wonderful milestone. I remember up until my first year I had trouble believing it was all real. Congratulations!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Whoot, Dutch! You are so honest here - even in your one year post. Quitting alcohol is not a cure all, but it DOES help us focus on fixing the things we can. That was part of the serenity prayer that I thought I understood but really didn't until I wasn't drinking - grant me the courage to change the things I can... The fact is, there ARE a lot of things we CAN thing, and alcohol was clouding my vision. Anyway - your posts always make me think, and I'm glad you're here with us. To infinity and beyond...

JDG - I was going to say what Byrdie said. I think what finally convinced my husband was when I sat him down and told him the ugly truth of the lines I had crossed with alcohol - he was surprised and up until then would have happily said I was fine (as I WAS a good drinking partner). This weekend when I was going away with good friends he said, "you're not going to be tempted, are you?" I hugged him and said THANK YOU for checking in on me - and asked him to keep it up. The truth works.

Ava - I missed your story, but sorry about your furry friend.

Welcome back Aquamarine. You've come to a great place.

Hi to everyone else.

Pav

[available]

Evening nesters

Congratulations Dutch on a year sober. So happy for you and so proud. As Byrd said not many achieve a year and its great to hear of what you have achieved in your first year. For me the 2nd year was much better as i realised this was me doing it, i was sober and i could stay that way. It always takes work and accountability but thats no so hard to do. Have a happy day you deserve it.

I have had a work week from hell and not once have i thought i needed a drink now that i think about it. I think i scared myself on the weekend with the incredible urge to pour wine down my throat when the baby wallaby died. I didnt and i am grateful for that but i have realised that i always need to be prepared for the sudden stress i felt.

Other than that life is good. I am going to visit my eldest boy on the weekend as he has his court case next week, all i can do is support him and be there. I believe in what he is doing and i am proud of my son.

LC please use that laptop when you go on holidays. I remember your last holiday and i was about 43 days sober and you were in your 100's and you drank. I am worried as you are not posting much at the moment. Call me an old mother hen but you my friend were a major force in keeping me motivated to be sober. Please be safe and let us know how you go.

Pav isnt that a lovely comment from your husband. He must be so proud of you.

Take care x

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Hump day to all!

Our weather has taken a turn for the better so I am going to enjoy it as much as possible.
Sober gardening is awesome & I am grateful

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Wednesday!

Lav

[j-vo]

Love the weather, Lav!

Ava, so glad you got thru last week. And yes, to always be aware of the big stressors in life and use our necessary tools will be ongoing and a part of our lives forever in recovery. Good luck to you and son!!!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Pav, your post reminds me of that saying "You don't know what you don't know". When I was in the thick of drinking, I didn't think drinking was my problem. Once I was able to get good distance from it (that's why the CONSECUTIVE days are so key) I was able to see just what an effect AL was having on everything I did.
On my way back from an appointment yesterday, I happened to switch on to a country music station and the words of a song hit me hard. They said something about when daddy came home drinking and how the mood of the house changed to one of caution and fear. I know that's how my drinking affected my hubs and family. What a shame, I didn't think I was hurting anyone else. The ripples of our actions go far beyond the plop of the rock in the water. I am just glad I was able to get a grip on it and stop the insanity. I am grateful and humbled every single day by my sobriety. This really CAN happen to anybody. It happened to ME.
Hope everyone has an easy hump day! Byrdie

[JackDanielsGirl]

Good Morning everyone,

Thank you all for your advice regarding the hubs. If he is looking for the ok from me to have a drink, he has it. I have told him over and over again its ok. And if he came home today with AL I would be fine with it. I have resolved that I can be around it and not drink it because I know what that leads to for me.

Dutch - Great job!

Have a great day,
JDG

[KENSHO]

Hi everyone. DUTCH, you should be very proud of yourself! It may feel anticlimactic, but we've watched you process a lot of stuff, get through a lot of close calls and improve yourself in so many ways. Great job, and keep it going!!

Last night was the first night my husband could drink after 30 days off on the diet. I was SHOCKED that he didn't come home and walk right into the basement and crack that beer. He waited until dinner, drank it very slowly and even left a little in the bottom of the can. THAT is NOT how a problem drinker does it. What surprised me more than his actions, was that I was surprised - that I noticed it at all. I, my friends, am a problem drinker. Yep, still, after 90-something days - it's still there, out on the table. Bummer, but on the other hand - validating that it's just time to move on and forward.

The weather is getting sunny again. Now if we could just have some of LAV's moist climate... come on and share! We're brown and crispy here! But the sun feels good on my face. And the birds seem happy.

Have a good day, and never forget what you are. It doesn't change. Accept it and move on.

[NoSugar]

Have a good day, and never forget what you are. It doesn't change. Accept it and move on.

What seems crazy to me now is that we make such a big deal of it! In addition to those who drink "normally", there are many, many adults who don't drink at all and can't imagine it being an issue. A "normal" drinker, when told s/he can't drink alcohol for 30 days doesn't think that sounds so awful (probably less bad than not eating bread for a month!!).

How giving up alcohol for a month sounds to anyone is a clear indication of whether there's a problem. Another good one I heard was to challenge yourself to drink exactly one serving of your beverage of choice each and every day at your "witching hour" - no more, no less. That sounds much more difficult to me than not drinking entirely and is good information to have.

Have a great day, Nesters!!

[j-vo]

I don't know about everybody but from my experience I feel strong at times and other times I could just snap like a twig. Environment, moods, HALT, and other triggers can be very tricky in the early months and years. Keep your guard up. I know it's impossible to not be around it all the time, just be aware of how you're feeling.

[j-vo]

I guess what I'm saying is be very cautious. Sometimes I want to go as far as saying I'm afraid of alcohol, because how it's taken so much of my life away from me. I guess I am, but that will enable me to keep my guard up.

[NoSugar]

Fear in the early days doesn't seem like a bad thing, J-vo, and you won't have to have that negativity indefinitely. After awhile, "healthy respect" works (with the "healthy" applying to YOU, not to AL!!).

[Fin]

Make it Non Negotiable. That keeps the internal chatter down. Onward...

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Fin, where have you been? Good to see you!

Kensho, we always seem to have plenty of moisture around here. Makes the gardens grow well but the grass needs to be cut a lot, ha ha!

j-vo, we go thru so many phases & feelings after we quit & that's completely normal. Just stay in positive mode, everything will even out. I can honestly say now that I am grateful for my drinking adventure & all the BS that went along with it because now I know how strong I really am

Hi there NS, JDG, Byrdie & everyone.
Wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav