Newbies Nest

[Dutch1988]

Checking in and things seem pretty positive in the best. I am on day...400 and something. Never thought I would lose track of days, it's not even on my mind anymore. Don't get me wrong, HALT still pops up and I feel the pull. But the habit of doing something else at this point is strong and I would have to be fully alert and focused to have enough will power to drink again, and yes that's what it sounds like. If I am tired I don't have the energy to go to a old habit because it's no longer the norm, and if I am well rested I would much rather drink a coffee and get some work done.

I am taking the wife to Disneyland for a two day weekend, been working 6/7 days a week for two months now. Gotta make sure I empty my phone so I can make some new memories with the family. Training wise has been good, me and El are back in the SF, and I have been killing it at 12 days. I am way more interested in sugar than I am alcohol, but I feel like I can finally focus on not eating sugar because I don't get fed up and think it's AL or sugar. My wife's ultrasound went well, and we are waiting for the dreaded 13 week ultrasound some that was when our LO didn't make it last time. He would have been 6 months around now, but here's looking to the future. Best of luck everyone!

[Lavande]

Good Thursday morning Nesters!

Daylight & no rain so far. No real sun yet but I am hopeful
Drove an hour to get to my granddaughter's house & this is where I'll be all day. Grateful for my choice to kick AL out of my life 7+ years ago!

Kensho, getting adequate sleep is essential for our health & wellness. Get it now while uou still can. Sleep isn't easy to come by as you get older unfortunately.

Dutch, goid to see you & happy to hear everything is going well for you

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
Finally got a good night's sleep. Kensho, I am the poster child for sleep deprivation these past two weeks....it feels really good to have finally gotten 8 hours. My doctor once told me, 'do whatever you have to do to get your sleep'. Sounds so simple, but sometimes hard to do.
Reflecting back over the past 28 years, where I put my job in front of all else, it makes me sad. Sure, I was able to provide for hubs and I, but that sure came at a price. I wasn't much of a drinker when I started work for my former company, but the pressure and the pervasive atmosphere of drinking changed all that. I'm glad that I was able to accomplish all that I did, when I did.
As I look at entering the job market again, I swear, I have to ask myself if it's worth it. My husband is 12 years older than I am and I know he's not going to live forever. Do I want to be on the road 3-4 nights a month? Lots of questions.....I hope I make good decisions. I have lost 6 pounds since my lay-off. Stressful times here.

BUT at no time, have I considered AL to take me away! Thank goodness I have my quit!!! Hang in there, everyone, it IS worth it. (plus I've saved over $19,000 over these past 5 years, that ain't chump change!!!) Hugs to all, Byrdie

[Eloise]

Thanks for your your post Brydie, you sound like you have both feet planted firmly on the ground.
I am so glad to hear drinking hasn't been even a thought, that is just amazing.
I am searching now too and had an interview yesterday. Let's hope they schedule a second one, they said they would.
I am going to consider what you say about giving it your all and how you regret some of that. I did the same at my last job. They had 150% of me. I will not do that again and I do not think you will either.
I am also not going to sit around worrying 'what if I get it?' and "what if I don't?'
I am going to deal with it when it happens and keep drawing in the meantime.

[Byrdlady]

Eloise, you are so right, sitting around with a knot in our stomachs isn't going to help anything!! If I get it, fine....if I don't, I'll be ok. I'm sorry you are in the same boat as I am....all this change is scary, but we'll be ok! As I say (actually, I stole the quote but know remember from whom), fear of the future and regret of the past are the twin thieves of the present! xoxoxo

[Eloise]

You know what I have been doing? Reading' Wherever you go there you are' by John Kabat Zinn & 'Mindfulness, Finding peace in a frantic world' by Mark Williams & Danny Penman.
The second one is an 8 week guide of starting a mindfulness practice.
It is totally saving me from myself, and the headaches have greatly improved. This is week 5.
It is also helping me with my yoga practice, because I didn't really get the meditative aspect of yoga. Now I do. A life saver.

What is so hard for us is my husband and his escapism. He thinks if we move to the US we will be fine. We won't be fine if we do not have at least one job between the two of us. Let me be more specific. He wants to move to a tiny village in the US where there is one restaurant, a tiny post office, and craft shop. There isn't even a grocery store. WHERE are we going to work? If we buy a house, fix it up to resell WHO is going to buy? No one, that is who.
This is the part I find the most difficult, and then he turns things around blaming me. That I do not know what I want. I want a peaceful life.

We will get through this Brydie.

opps, it's 5:00, doggie dinner time. Thank god for our pets to keep us in line! XXOO

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I am glad this day is drawing to a close - I am tired!! But I had a great day so I'm not complaining really
We finally got that sunshine we have been missing for the past three week, nice!

Byrdie & Eloise, keep your thoughts positive. I truly believe what you put out there in the universe you get back. I think the both of you are going to be just fine!
Eloise, the tiny village you describe sounds a lot like where I live, ha ha. The nearest grocery store is 8 miles away, so is the post office! Nothing but cows & corn fields around here. We could end up being neighbors, LOL

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Lavande]

I'm the first one up again? WHAT???

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday to all!
Wishing everyone a great AF day today. What's on everyone's plan for success this weekend?

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi,

ELOISE! Happy 2 years. AMAZING. Glad we're together to keep ourselves sober and moving forward.

SO happy you signed up for that course, Ava. I know you'll be fabulous as a counselor - goodness knows you've helped a lot of us.

Welcome, Southshoregirl. 60 days and onward.

Off to work. Happy Friday, just another day.

Pav

[Fin]

Happy AL Free Friday. Headed to the river this weekend with two close friends. I wonder what the circle around the fire will be like tonight with me not drinking? A part of me thinks I'll be very surprised by how little the others will drink giving that we have to get up super early on Sat AM for a float / fish. Was I the enabler in this circle? Time will tell...

Be Good,
-Fin

[Byrdlady]

Fin, I was an enabler, also. As it turns out, not many folks drank as hard as I did....plus I was supplementing in private. Those WEREN'T the days.
As I sit here now awaiting news about an interview week after next, there was a time when I'd have been concerned if it was going to cut into my drinking time. I understand they will take me out to dinner, too, so I'd have been worried I would over-do it and say something stupid. Now I realize I don't need AL for that! (comes naturally!) I'm excited about the new opportunity! I had no idea how much AL was getting in my way. I sure thought it was my friend but it turns out it was the absolute worst thing I ever did. Dependence on AL stinks in every way. I understand my new prospective boss isn't much of a drinker, so THAT's GOOD!

It's supposed to rain all weekend, that's ok. It won't be any pressure to do anything....my mind could use a rest!

Hope everyone has an easy day.....it's only Friday, NOT a ticket to BoozeVille!!! Stay strong, it's worth it!!! Byrdie

[Matt M.]

I am on the fly, checking in!

Eloise- please accept my apologies for not congratulating you sooner. Very happy for you. You were one of the first people to great me when I arrived......2 years is Staying Hard...

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Sad to see the end of a nice SUNNY day here. Rain returns tomorrow & again Sunday & again Monday

Fin, have fun & show them how it's done AF

Byrdie, I think you should create cookies this weekend, lots of them, ha ha!!
You will be a shining star at your dinner interview, that I am sure!

Hi to Matt, Pav & everyone.
Have a safe night in the nest one & all!

Lav

[Eloise]

No worries Matt... and thanks for the kind words. We really are in this together.

How was the campfire Fin?? I think you guys must be up and at'em by now.

Another art day for me.
You know, I really feel like I have absolutely no control of my destiny at this point. Regardless of how much yoga and meditation I do. It is all rather out of my hands.
And I cannot control my husband's grey view of the world. It is a big struggle not to give in and agree with him that life is just dismal.
All I can do is block him out, which I might add, is not good for our relationship. Being married is far harder than my old self indulgent single life. Hands down. Funny I how I thought 'oh, it would be nicer if I were not alone.'
Um. Geez, got that one wrong!

Well, today I am on my own and encouraging him to take the dog and go off for a few days (praying he listens to me and doesn't fly).
When I go to Asia alone it does me a WORLD of good.
I have a feeling next week might bring some good news, I have to be ready to accept it, and all this worry and negative thoughts will be for naught. I will get through this and I do not intend to live a miserable life.

Peace out sober friends we are doing this for ourselves and it feels good (to know where my socks are!).

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
El, I dearly love my hubs, but he us definately a pessimist. He just cant see the positive side of things. Id hate to think of life like that.....I always believe that there will be a good outcome. People are just wired differently, I guess.
I got my e-ticket to Pittsburgh for my interview, flying in May 31 and interviewing on June 1. Cross everything you've got!
Rainy here today, not sure what the day holds yet but I know it wont include AL!
Byrdie