Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Hi, Everyone:

My little nuclear family had some good bonding yesterday on our way home at around midnight. We decide to drive around town and look at all the lights and ended up on a hill with a great view. My little one sighed and say, "I love you guys. This is so special." It was an amazing night.

This is what it's all about. Right here! Great stuff Pav.

Big thumbs up Jvo on how you managed christmas. You raawk! Plenty of self lovin time on your week off will give you a fab launch pad into the new year, which could be your best yet!

Bravo Roobs!

I wouldn't mind this week orf meself. Working this week, but that's ok. I'm grateful for it.

Walk off that tucker Byrdy! I bet the other party goers were wondering.....'dayum, how does that lady manage to look so damn good this time of night?' (or 24/7). Merry christmas to you. :thumbsup:

I am def going for a thai massage either today or this week. 1 hr - 65 bucks. Not bad.

Must be day 136 but i ain't one for counting. Let the negatives float off to where ever they like. L8tr g8trs.

[available]

morning nesters

Well everyone sounds great and MADE it, what a fantastic feeling. Firsts are always hard for newbies and xmas is a doozy.

Roobs it is okay to hate us, i hated here too but it kept me accountable each and every day and has so for 3 years. As Byrd says why stop doing something that is working. Once early in my quit i was on holidays with my mother, 100 days in and in Thailand. I spent $30 for 24 hours internet and spent so much time on MWO. my mother thought i was on a dating site, oops! The only place i could look in Thailand was the sky to not see bars and al. My determination was high and i could have not logged on at all but i would have drank, i know that. To me its all about accountability.

Roobs my eldest is 29 and then 28, 25 and 23. Addiction seems to be liking us sadly. My 28 year old is an ex ice addict but sober for 3 years and my 23 year old loves al. my brother died from al so i am always talk to them honestly about our alcoholism. I tend to tell them al stories from here and how i feel around different times of year about drinking. My 23 year old i am extremely worried about yet again so he will be getting the chat, a big one after the silly season. He did stop drinking for 2/3 months and his anxiety went, his life just got better but the pull of being "one of the crowd" was too much and he said he could moderate. He cant. I feel useless but i no i cant make him stop, it is his choice, i do know i can be there for him. I am his example that if i can stop drinking anyone can. It is funny as he is very protective of my quit and is very very proud of me.

Good to have you back LC. We will find any excuse to drink, we are alcoholics. I used to drink daily and find any excuse as to why. You are the only one who can stop the madness, we are the ones to help you. You deserve this and yes its fecking hard, harder at first than childbirth in my opinion but its doable with 150% dedication and determination. You have tasted sobriety and loved it, it only gets better and better in time. I never want to be at Day 1, i never want the gsr's, i never want to look in a mirror and feel sorry for myself and not recognise the woman staring back at me. I have a list a mile long on why i never want to drink even if i have thoughts every now and again. Nothing and nobody is worth drinking AT. You can and will do this LC, make you the priority and keep you safe and sound, life is amazing without al. Hugs to you lovely.

Pav what a lovely xmas you had with your hubs and boys. Christmas for me is my little family, though the coffee maker made me a happy mom.

Pauly, i hope work was doable and better than you thought. Think of the positives, you dont have the hangover that bitch of a woman does lol and your making money!

Mario, glad you had a lovely xmas. we always need an escape plan but sounds like you didnt need yours.

Proud of you J and glad you had a nice xmas as hard as it was. You did it sober, you cant get any better than that!

Well enough waffling, time to get motivated. Dont work too hard G and glad you had a lovely xmas Lav.

Take care x

[j-vo]

Checking in before we eat our leftovers. Love raviolies even the next day. My cousin was in town last week, and I wondered why I saw her at Oakmont Bakery (the most delicious place you'll ever be) and yesterday I found out that friends of her parents (my aunt and uncle) son died of 'alcoholism.' He was 44 years old. They said he died from it, but obviously he died from the consequences of al. Again, another young one who lost the fight. So sad. Everytime someone mentions an age, I count on my fingers how much older or younger I am. Either way, I'm too young to die of this disease or any other. So sad about George Michael, too. I know he had a rough life being in the spotlight. I don't know how any celebrity does it to be frank. I love my anonymity and imagine not having that ever. I don't know how they do it. Some obviously love it, but I think a big percentage don't.

Ok, time for leftovers. Night.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Had a nice day catching up with myself, ha ha! No visitors to worry about & even got out for some exercise

LC, glad to see you back. I know it's been hard for you but now's the time to turn the tables around for yourself! Make 2017 your year, make it all about you! Give yourself a headstart & get all the AL out of your house, vow to buy no more. I haven't purchased a drop since I made that promise to myself nearly 8 years ago. You can do it too :hug:

Strange weather in Lav-land, it's warmer now that it was this morning & heading up to 60 degrees tomorrow, what?? I know at some point we will have our fair share of snow but apparently not too soon

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Hi Nesties. I'm so glad to see so many people here and still fighting.

LC, do you remember when I did my little experiment with "moderating"? I know we talked about it some then. I think I had a couple more "tries" until I just got to my last one - I fully realized that in no instance will I be happy while drinking. And I choose to be happy. You will reach that point, as long as you keep checking in here, keep talking and telling us how you're feeling and choose happiness. It's not fake - those of us who have had some solid AF time, especially the long-timers, really, truly, honestly, completely like our lives more. You just have to be willing to go through some initial discomfort - but it gets better and we start to see colors we didn't know were in the spectrum. Keep trying, sending big hugs to you! You can do it!

Roobs, glad you love us again.

G - I have a massage gift certificate that I got LAST Christmas and haven't used because I've been "too busy". That's such bullshit. I'm going to use it in the next two weeks, and no one's gonna stop me (especially myself!). I say after 60+ more AF days, we each get ourselves another one when we meet here for our 200 day party. Sound good?

Thank you all for posting and sharing yourselves and your good and hard times. This is a special place!!

[scottish lass]

LC- big hugs.

J-Vo - glad you got through this first, a painful one, but you did it, and your mother would be so proud!

I went to bed last night with a huge smile, almost checked in - it was so good to get through the day, successfully. I felt good - I made it! It was a good day, not great, but good for sure - good food, and the girls and I made our micro family work.
Today is Boxing Day which I loved - turkey is deconstructed, turkey stock made - and plans for a week off call! The three of us have great plans and we will finish up the last week of 2016 really well.

2017 will be a good year - and getting geared up for success - hopefully you will all join in a sober 2017 and we will be so successful it will knock our socks off!!!

As Nora and Pav said - I thank each and everyone of you....

[Nursie]

Checking in.
It was a wonderful sober Christmas.
Until my Nana called me at 9:30 pm. I knew something was wrong. After dinner, my uncle went to take a nap and he never woke up. He died.

He has been a full blown alcoholic for 45 years, served in Vietnam, and progressively got worse and worse. He got cirrhosis and possibly Cancer but we don't know for sure. He lost tons of weight and stopped eating. Stopped coming to family functions.

I'm so very sad for my Nana and my Dad and our family. Alcohol has torn so many pieces from us. I'm thankful I have you guys and I am so very relieved that I am sober.

[mario]

Good morning Nesters ,

Sorry to hear about your Uncle nursie, Hope you & your family get through this sad time as best you can, & yes alcohol is a killer & destroys thousands of familys & people worldwide everyday.

Thank your God of your understanding that we here and many other places to help us get through and help us beat this addiction.

[Roobs]

Oh Nursie,
I'm so sorry for you. Sending many Hugs your way.
Roobs

[Guitarista]

Sorry to hear the news of your uncle Nursie. My condolences to you and your family. When's the funeral? Take care friend.

Kensho. Yes, go the massage next week or 2! Another in 60 days....you bet!

l8tr g8trs

[paulywogg]

Morning nesters,Nursie,I'm sorry about your uncle I really wish the government or something would start talking about the dangers of alcohol, we all know how terrible meth,crack and heroin is cuz we're told about the devastation, when is alcohol gonna be recognized as causing just as much widespread deaths and sickness as these other drugs? Think of all the broken homes,abused kids,deaths,etc caused by a liquid we can all buy around the corner,legally in as much bulk as we can afford,anytime, any day!! I'm pissed off about it cuz its laughed off so much and everyone thinks problem drinkers are the homeless bums drinking out of a paper bag at 7 am,no its the bored housewife,the lawyer dad,the frazzled teacher,the disgruntled hairdresser (me haha) we're the faces of alcoholism,its time to get serious and quit making jokes about how"mommy needs a glass of wine",sorry for the rant,its just I've literally felt poisoned while drinking before,felt dirty and hot,itchy,anxious in every cell of my body,hell even my hair looked poisoned and depressed all dry and flat,yuck! I just hate booze and I hate how tolerated it is,wishing everyone a fabulous AF Day

[Byrdlady]

Pauly, you are so right! AL is glamorized to the point where we think we are LOSERS because we dont participate. What's THAT all about? Big money behind AL! THAT'S what its all about. We are brainwashed to think we cant enjoy a celebration or even a sunset without booze, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Enjoying my time off, may go out for an ice cream later!!!
Hope evryone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[j-vo]

Nursie, I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. And another alcohol statistic. It's sad and its true. Everything you said, Pauly. And the temptation of the advertisements, tv shows that show how fun drinking is, people's comments (jokes all the time that revolve around alcohol). Is it because it's the only legal drug that they feel free to joke about it? I know there have to be alkies in every familiy, or almost every family. And based on the comments that I hear, "it's their fault. They did this to themselves." And, "shame on them." We were talking about the guy who lost his life xmas day and my MIL made that exact comment. Meanwhile, my FIL had cirrhosis of the liver, died from it, but she never, ever believed he was an alkie. She believes he got his cirrohis from the medications he took after he had open heart surgery when he was in his 50's.

Whatever people think, it's not my business. I'm working on this mentality. What I do for me is important.

Have a busier day today. Meeting Dad's financial advisor, then going to my aun'ts for dinner. Have a good day.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

LAZY day yesterday. I did get out for some exercise and managed to cook a healthy dinner to try to make up for the last several days. Amazingly, I'm hungry now after eating "just" a "normal" amount! Habits are EASY to pick up.

Hiya, LC, and welcome back. You know the drill. THANKS for that link to the hip sobriety blog. I wish I had the guts to be more open with my sobriety - I would LOVE a Teetotaler tattoo! I wish I could shout it from the rooftops like my friend Ava. But I am a private person, and I also feel the shame that Pauly talks about. I know in my head and the rational side of me that there is nothing to be ashamed of, but all those comments people talk about - I guess they get to my insecurities. No one shames me for not drinking - I am seen a strong willed, etc., because I don't think many people I see on a daily basis know how bad it truly got. I feel like I might be able to help people like me if I were more out in the open. Instead, I continue to talk about not drinking and the benefits of it to anyone who asks. If they are like I was, they are full of questions because they know in their hearts they should quit drinking, too.

I had a little insomnia last night and as I lay awake I kept thinking about how thankful I was that I wasn't awake because of a hangover - I didn't feel remorseful, guilty or shameful. I didn't have a headache, sour stomach, and bad taste in my mouth. Phew.

I am going to get some work in this morning and then maybe some good house cleaning. Or maybe not.

Happy SOBER Tuesday, nest.

Pav

[SoCali]

Good gracious - just like NoraC, I was reading and wanting to comment on EVERYONE'S posts here today!!! Unfortunately there are so many, I just simply don't have the time so here are my "likes" to everything you all said...HA!

However, I did want to address Nursie as respects your uncle...I'm so very sorry. Cyber hugs coming your way...

And, LC, while I don't know you (since I'm a newbie around here...) I just wanted to second (or third, or fourth...) what others have said in that there's no shame in your situation! When you're ready, just grab yourself by the bootstraps, dust yourself off and get rolling again! I LOVED the link in your post (to Hip Sober...or wait, Sober Hip? CRAP I already can't remember what it was - HA!). However, I made a quick "run around" the site (with the intent to really read it later!) and LOVE the way she writes and what she says. TOTALLY agree with her assessment of the negative stigma bestowed upon us alchies!

Lastly, I don't post on the roll call page but, yesterday was my "4 week AF" anniversary and tomorrow will be my "one month" anniversary (since 11-28-16 was my first AF day). I am SO incredibly proud of myself and I'm beginning to feel a little bit of wind in my hair as my little "sober car" begins to gain a bit of momentum. This was my first sober Christmas in many years and while yes, I did have a few "pity" moments ("Dammit - why can't I celebrate with a glass of wine?" and "this is seriously bullshit - it's Christmas! I should be relaxing with my beloved chardonnay!!!") I was able to stave off even having a little sip. As is my "way" nowadays...I just let the thoughts come into my brain, roll around a bit, run their course of "pissing me off" and letting that stew for a few seconds. Then...redirect myself into doing SOMEthing (find a few puzzle pieces on the family puzzle, check on the food cooking, talk to one of my kids...) and VOILA! Those pesky little "pity" moments and "JUST DO IT" drinking thoughts realize the brain isn't giving the arm permission to pour the wine into the glass so they slink off into the nether regions of my cranium. At least for awhile... )

So!!!! I'm incredibly happy to report, a completely AF Christmas for this So Cal chickadee. YAY ME!!!