Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Good evening, Nesters!
It is so wonderful to end the day reading these inspiring posts by some of the strongest, bravest people I know.
Third Time has 100 Days today, thats a big deal!! Congrats to you and here's to the next 100!
Orimus, doesnt ZZzQuil have AL in it? Seems like I was going to try it once but read that label. I dont think the liqi-caps do and seems like theyvhave an AF version. Could be wrong, it wouldnt be the first time today! I read those labels now for cough medicine and such and always make sure to buy stuff with no AL, even mouthwash.
Hope everyone has a good evening and a good sleep tonight.
Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

LS, sorry about the difficulty with your parents, that's tough. You only have two hands so you can only do so much.
Is that really your underwater garden? Very cool looking!

Madon, please feel free to post whatever is on your mind. We are good listeners & staying connected is the best thing for you.

Belle, keeping AL out of the house was an important tool for me. I'm sure if I had left a drop sitting around I probably would have been tempted. I vowed to buy no more & so far I haven't. It was the only way I could find the success I wanted so desperately.

NS, good article, thanks for posting the link. Funny, I don't see any AL ads on my FB feed or is it that I just ignore them? Hmm.

Kensho, I think we go thru that re-evaluating everything phase a couple of times, ha ha. I finally accepted that life was not always going to be fresh or new or exciting. The good news is things do come along & unexpectedly spark some excitement like the arrival of grandkids

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav

[Roobs]

Bring it on Madon, that's why we're here.No need to hold back

[lifechange]

Morning Nesters!

Madon, I have to agree with the others.. if you feel comfortable posting, then do! I appreciate that we get to experience each and every emotion on the spectrum.. and it actually helps us all to know what the others are dealing/struggling with. At least, I hope so.. 'cause I've sure been laying it all out when necessary! And it has helped me immensely to do so. :hug:

Belle, so glad to see you jumped right back in here. I bought a small bottle of wine a while back to cook mussels (couldn't imagine them without!) and found it just didn't feel right.. I'll have to agree with Lav, in that I've decided not to have anything to do with the shit that has been accompanying me in ruining my life the past 20 years.. at least not this early on in my quit. Because I find that any time I bring it into the picture, for whatever innocent reason, my mind begins "discussing" it.. even if it's to discuss not drinking it, it's too much discussion, imo..just my 2 cents, but it does seem to make it all more simple.

Kensho, I really hear you with the existential questions! You are a few years younger than I am.. and I unfortunately more or less drank my way through the past 5/6 years instead of dealing with life/finding answers for myself.. and guess what? I get to do it now! I'm thinking there's a lot of wisdom in what Lav mentioned..partly realizing that it won't always be fresh and exciting, partly finding the fresh and exciting in what we have.. We are so fortunate to have the ability to choose the path we want to be on, aren't we? That much I know.. but that's about it. I'm hoping (and deciding to believe) that when we keep our minds and hearts clear and are honest and open with ourselves and others, we will figure it out.. (re)-learning to listen intently.. that's a biggie for me right now. Love that you've brought this up..

LS, beautiful garden!:happy2:
That's such a difficult situation with your parents.. but good that you have defined for yourself and for them what your limits are. I am in agreement with you.. I can imagine how hard it is for you to stand back. But if you don't, where will it stop? Strength to you.. you have a lot on your plate.:hug:

Ok, I'm off to work now.. then going to my new flat to take some measurements, then off to look at a sofa.. then I'll be back here. Already looking forward!
Have a nice Tuesday, all!

[Guitarista]

LS, best of luck with your folks. What r u growing there?

Calling Jvo and Ava, Jvo and Ava, come in pilgrims over.

[mario]

Good morning nesters, Madon you might be surprised how many of us can relate to what your going through & not forgetting the folks who may drop by with the same kinda of issues, Its good to get it out of you.

Its can sometimes be the thinking here that we are all just intrested in alcoholism here.We have to get over the drinking to stay alive.
But anyone who knows the alcoholic personality by firsthand contact knows that no true long term sober person here ever stopped drinking without undergoing a profound personality change. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselfs to meet our new lifes, what ever they are/were.

Have a good positive sober day folks.

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters,yes Mr.G where is Ava? J-vo? So unlike Ava not to post,hope everything is OK,LS,I have absolutely no alcohol in the house, I even switched my vanilla for baking to the imitation stuff,Byrdie's probably shaking her head as she's the master baker haha,I know they say it cooks out but I've read that not all of it does and I'm not taking chances,my mouthwash is all natural, no al either better for your teeth anyways I think,supposed to rain again Thurs and Fri,this has been a crazy January as far as the weather goes,kinda crazy,wishing us all a great AF day,back later

[dyingtobealive]

Lav - I think your snow mistakenly fell here in the Pacific NW. We're still buried in snow, and it isn't supposed to get above freezing before Tue! The snowshoes are coming in handy, and the kids are loving all the snow days. It's very beautiful in this wintry wonderland, but I'll also be glad to see it go.

Alive - Let us know if you like your nickname - it sounds so positive and upbeat, which hopefully could be motivating! Sorry to hear your kiddo is sick, but sounds like a few bright sides came with it. Good job staying AF over the weekend!

Pav - Love your idea of listening to podcasts while cleaning house etc. I will have to try that too.

ABCowboy - Congrats on 2 Years!!!!

Good to see everyone buzzing along and having good days and eves. Catch you all on the flipside!

I love the nickname

[NoSugar]

Ava went to the GYM at 8PM last night ! I can't imagine doing that NOW, much less back in the day :haha:.

[dyingtobealive]

Belle - you got this. Right before I quit I had graduated to scotch, too. I thought maybe if I started on the hard stuff instead of wine I wouldn't drink as much. Yeah, that definitely didn't happen. Ended up just going through 5ths, which is much more obvious than box wine. That was sort of my breaking point - when I woke up feeling awful and had to call in sick and realized I had drank half a 1/2 gallon of scotch the night before...mostly me sneaking and taking shots straight when my husband took the dogs out or went to the bathroom. I'm just now on day 7, but it is a slippery slope. Last night was so difficult for me, I believe my original 'high' of sobriety has no worn off. I just kept thinking about how I didn't want to feel awful this morning. Too much to do. Like Lavande said, keeping alcohol out of the house would be ideal for me to never be tempted...but unfortunately for me, hubby does drink and doesn't know that I think I have a problem yet. Honestly I'm waiting for all the alcohol to run out and usually I'd be the one rushing to the grocery store to buy more, but I think I'll let him do it next time.

Lost Soul - sorry to hear about the drama with your parents. Even as adults it's hard with our parents. It sounds like you set boundaries with them and were honest with them, which is awesome. I struggle immensely with setting boundaries with my parents. For me it always seemed easier to get hurt than to see them hurt. But they are people, too. Hard lessons.

Update for me: I made it to day 7, although last night I wasn't sure I was going to. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, just really wanted a glass of wine. Went through the whole, "If husband has one, I can have just one." I slowly had to remind myself that no, I can't have "just one." And that would lead to a horrible morning filled with regret. When I woke up this morning I don't think I've ever been so happy I didn't drink. I'm actually going to go for a lunch time run and I won't have to worry about possibly losing my stomach contents due to a hangover.

I'm finally sleeping better (even without melatonin, yay!) Never slept this hard in my life. However, I do find that by about 8pm I'm exhausted. Is this a pretty common symptom? Hoping it doesn't last much longer. I'm not a coffee drinker. I also seem to be much thirstier than normal. But more water isn't bad I suppose.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

[Roobs]

Good morning,
Just a quick check in before work. I went to bed last night and a thought popped into my head....where's Ava?

[Roobs]

Congratulations Alive! Getting through last night is a huge accomplishment. No joke!

[wagmor]

GMAE all. Glad to be here for another AF day. We're still dealing with unusual weather - today they're predicting a bad ice storm that will just make the icy inches of snow we already have much worse. We're trying to stay positive and enjoy it, but our city isn't equipped for such weather and it's literally bringing some aspects of life to a crawl. Sooooo grateful to not be drinking - this would be a time where I'd have to repeatedly scurry around to make sure my supply was sufficient - even walking to the liquor store on icy roads, or stocking up in case I can't get out for a few days. No thank you!

Instead, the only scurrying I'm doing is to the library, and maybe to the grocery store to make sure I have basic staples of food and maybe a few treats to ride out the pending ice-lock we might experience over the next few days. If it unfolds as predicted, we might lose power. We have plenty of snow to keep cold foods cold, and we're fortunate enough to have a fantastic propane powered oven and stove in our "outdoor kitchen" in the garage, so we'll be able to get by, but it's helpful to think ahead.

LS - So sorry to hear about the recent situations with your folks, their cats, etc. My heart really goes out to you. It sounds terribly difficult for all involved. It's tough to set the boundaries like you're doing, but you're doing it. Sending you hugs friend. :hug:

Kensho - the snowshoeing sounds wonderful, especially the quiet. Glad you stayed AF and resisted the lure of margaritas.

Ava, Jvo - please check in when you can. Hope everything's ok with both.

[available]

Morning nesters

I am here, i have been reading religiously everyday as i need to do but really had not much to say. So unlike me!

I have been helping my son with his sobriety, he is 2 weeks now which is wonderful and he wanted an interest so we joined the gym. I have to remind him that he is 30 years younger than i am bless him. It is good quality time together which is lovely and its nice that at 23 he likes spending time with me. We have a bit of work to do to get his life back on track.

I am looking into addiction counselling for myself. I so want to give up smoking and i am trying and trying and trying but not much is clicking. My smoking counsellor (or whatever i call her) suggested addiction counselling since i have given up al. I was right on the ball with this one, no holding back now, no shame or guilt. I will try anything. My work has a counselling service but if i know how they run i should get an apt in 2020 or a call back.

Back to my course tonight then the gym if i can keep my eyes open.

Im at a very good place at the moment, life after 3 years is nearly where i want it to be. A few more tweaks and i think i am there and can live my amazing life sober. Not drinking - done/doing, finances - getting there, emotions dealt with - 89% perfect, work - shit but progressing to moving on by the end of the year. I am never in a hurry with my sobriety, i figure i drank for 10+ years so sorting my life out again has been a slow and steady progression.

J is around but not posting as yet, all okay though.

Take care x

[Orimus]

GMAE all!

Madon – We’re here to listen so get out what you have to get out: if not here, where? As has been pointed out you never know who else is listening that is sharing those feelings and needs to know they’re not alone.

LS – Sorry about the difficulties with your parents but good on you for setting your boundaries. Sounds like a lot going on other than the pets.

Byrd – The first time I picked it up I was about halfway through the bottle before I remembered NyQil had al in it so ZzzQuil must. However there is an AF version which I’ve been sticking with. Even without addiction I’m not sure why you’d add al to a sleep aid when it is proven to decrease the quality of sleep.

Just another day at work, a bit quiet but a few things set up for tomorrow. Some absurdities of course (can’t be without those) that almost got me hung up on ruminating. Still have periods where I kinda feel a bit spacey and the pressure in my forehead is back. All in all, though, all the cogs are moving smoothly if quietly and slowly.